' 


..__ 


4 
.    ' 

.!*      S*  •         .      '    ., 


"i'x  ;'      "•-'• 


16311 


AN    ARDENT 
AMERICAN 


AN  ARDENT 
AMERICAN 


BY 


MRS.  RUSSELL  CODMAN 


FRONTISPIECE  BY 
JAMES  MONTGOMERY  FLAGG 


NEW  YORK 

THE  CENTURY  CO. 

1911 


Copyright,  1911,  by 
THE  CENTURY  Co 


Published  May, 


CONTENTS 

PART  I. 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

i    Introduction 3 

ii  June  23rd     ....     West  Point     ....       9 

in    July  ist ...     14 

iv    July  4th "          "         ....     20 

v    July  5th "  ...     30 

vi    July  8th "          "         ....     37 

vn    July  Qth Newport 53 

viii  July  9th,  continued     .                        ...           .61 

ix     July    i6th      ....  71 

x     July    23rd      ....  77 

xi  July   28th      ....     Bar  Harbor    ....     91 

xii  August   ist    ....                            ....   loo 

xin  August    2nd       ...                            .     .           .115 

xiv  August  5th   .     .     .     .     The  Settlement   .     .     .123 

xv  August  6th   .     ..."                        ...   136 

xvi    August  7th   ....     Lenox 151 

xvn    August  gth   .     .  " 166 

xvni  August    loth       .      .      .     Stockbridge     ....   173 
v 


2134726 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

xix  August   nth      ...     West  Point     ....   189 

xx  August   isth      ..."                   ....  205 

xxi  August   igth      ...        "       "          ....  215 

xxn  August   23rd      .     .     .     On  The  Steamer      .     .  223 

PART  II. 

xxni  September  26th      .     .     Wildesheim  Schloss      .  231 

xxrv  September  3oth      .     .                                             .  240 

xxv  October  ist  .     .     .     .                                             .  247 

xxvi  October  2nd      .     .     .     Hanover  Station      .     .  263 

xxvii  October  3rd       ...     On  Board  the  Amerika  271 

xxvni  October   5th       ..."                                        284 

xxix  October   8th       ..."                                        295 

xxx  October  loth      ..."                                        303 

xxxi  October  nth      .     .     .     Rilldale      .....  313 

xxxn    October  nth,  continued  331 

xxxin    October  I2th      ...  343 

xxxiv  October  isth     .     .     .     New  York      .     .     .     .351 

xxxv  October  i8th      ...        "        "          ....  364 

xxxvi  October  2Oth      ...        "        "          ....  370 

xxxvii  November  2Oth      .              "        "          ....  374 

xxxviii  November   25th       .              "        "          ....  378 

xxxix  December    I4th,    isth, 

i6th "        "          ....  381 

XL  December   22nd       .     .        "        "          ....  398 

XLI    December  3ist  .     .     .     Rilldale 409 


INTRODUCTION 


AN   ARDENT   AMERICAN 


I  HAVE  decided  to  write  my  Memoirs  'for  I  think 
the  next  two  months  will  be  a  very  interesting 
period  of  my  life.  As  the  Comte  de  Segur  says, 
"  In  writing  one's  Memoirs  one  must  be  an  actor, 
not  an  author  " ;  so  without  reserve  I  shall  take  the 
first  role. 

In  case  these  pages  are  read  by  strangers,  I  shall 
firstly  explain  who  I  am.  My  name  is  Yvonne 
Carrington.  I  am  eighteen.  I  have  a  little  more 
than  five  feet  and  a  half  of  height,  thus  I  am  tall. 
I  am  blond  with  eyes  gray-blue,  and  a  waist  rather 
fine.  I  am  a  half  orphan  as  my  beloved  father  died 
when  I  was  childish.  Alas !  I  was  born  and  ele- 
vated in  Europe  which  makes  that  I  speak  my 
maternal  tongue  imperfectly,  but  I  shall  quickly 
learn,  and  I  am  writing  my  Memoirs  in  English 
with  the  help  of  a  dictionary,  not  only  as  a  lesson 
but  also  for  my  pleasure. 

I  have  always  adored  America,  and  all  that  was 
American,  although  I  have  never  been  there;  my 

3 


4  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

greatest  treasure  after  my  father's  miniature,  are 
some  American  leaves  of  autumn,  which  were  sent 
to  me ;  I  have  kissed  them  so  often  they  have 
crumbled,  and  if  I  had  dared,  I  would  have  written 
and  begged  for  a  little  American  earth;  the  monks 
of  Pisa  did  bring  soil  from  the  Holy  Land  to  sanc- 
tify the  Campo  Santo,  so  would  I  cherish  earth 
from  my  own  country,  but  I  feared  to  be  thought 
foolish. 

My  mother  is  all  the  contrary  from  me,  she  likes 
Europe  and  has  remarried  herself  to  a  German 
diplomat,  which  makes  that  I  have  a  little  German 
brother  and  sister.  We  have  dwelt  in  Rome  and 
Paris,  Vienna  and  Madrid,  and  every  summer  we 
pass  a  few  months  in  my  step-father's  castle  near 
Hanover;  but  although  so  carefully  reared  as  a 
European  young  girl  my  heart  has  never  ceased  to 
be  American. 

At  last,  my  grandmother  Carrington  has  insisted 
that  she  must  see  me,  for  I  am  the  only  child  of  her 
only  son,  and  much  against  her  own  desire  mamma 
did  let  me  go  for  two  months. 

I  am  making  the  crossing  with  my  maid  Angel- 
ique  who  is  very  ill  and  cross,  and  I  am  under  the 
guard  of  the  French  Ambassadress  to  Washington 
who  is  the  friend  of  my  parents.  I  observe  every- 
thing on  the  boat,  and  I  have  the  occasion  to  be 
often  alone,  which  I  have  never  been  allowed  before, 
and  which  I  enjoy  so  much.  I  walk  up  and  down 


INTRODUCTION  5 

* 
the  deck  and  breathe  with   full  lungs  the  air  of 

liberty,  for  we  are  approaching  the  shores  of  my 
dear  land. 

I  think  there  must  be  an  American  language  after 
all,  for  I  have  made  the  acquaintance  on  the  ship 
of  a  young  girl,  called  Lily  Stuart,  of  Philadelphia, 
and  I  really  can  not  understand  but  half  of  what 
she  says.  She  has  told  me  I  was  a  peach  and  a 
daisy,  which  are  fruits  and  flowers  in  English,  but 
I  think  she  wanted  to  indicate  complimentary  re- 
marks in  American.  She  spoke  of  making  a  date 
with  me,  but  I  did  see  none.  I  try  to  look  as  if 
I  comprehended,  and  I  inscribe  all  to  learn  as 
promptly  as  possible,  and  I  hope  to  loose  my  terri- 
ble foreign  accent,  which  she  calls  peachy.  She 
has  invited  me  to  stay  with  her  at  Bar  Harbor,  where 
she  said,  I  would  have  a  corking  time  and  we  should 
go  on  regular  sprees.  I  wonder  what  she  did 
mean !  In  the  dictionary  I  find  "  spree "  means 
to  say  a  noisy  frolic  and  drinking  bout,  and  per- 
haps she  said  uncorking  time,  which  signifies  open- 
ing bottles  of  champagne  or  other  beverages. 

I  want  to  be  gay,  but  I  do  not  want  to  be  fast! 
But  she  has  not  the  air  fast ;  the  Ambassadress 
has  said  she  was  a  sweet  girl,  but  she  talks  to  young 
men  as  if  she  was  a  married  woman.  I  know  that 
is  the  American  mode  which  I  must  also  learn.  She 
has  presented  to  me  a  young  man  called  Bobby. 
I  did  not  hear  his  surname;  he  is  very  jolly  and 


6  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

agreeable;  we  conversed  a  half  an  hour  all  alone, 
and  we  discovered  we  both  do  love  horses  and 
dogs ;  he  says  I  must  be  sure  and  come  to  Bar  Har- 
bor. Lily  Stuart  has  told  me  that  at  home  she  goes 
to  drive  and  walk  and  sail  alone  with  young  men. 
It  will  appear  very  strange  to  me,  but  I  think  I  shall 
like  it  well. 


WEST  POINT 


II 


JUNE  23rd.  As  my  following  experiences  are 
more  actions  than  thoughts,  and  therefore 
nothing  private,  I  will  employ  my  Memoirs  as  the 
rough  copy  of  my  letter  to  my  mother,  which  will 
spare  me  the  annoyance  of  writing  three  times 
the  same  thing.  I  must  only  remark  to  myself, 
what  my  mother  would  understand  never,  that 
at  the  first  sight  of  the  land  of  America,  my  eyes 
filled  themselves  with  tears,  and  that  Christopher 
Columbus  did  not  feel  himself  happier  than  I. 

LETTER. 

"  Dearest  Mamma, — 

"  My  voyage  has  been  an  enchantment !  Angel- 
ique  was  ill  all  the  way  over  and  never  left  her 
cabin.  The  Ambassadress  was  also  tolerably  in- 
disposed, but  she  sent  her  maid  every  morning  to 
take  of  my  news  and  she  sometimes  did  appear  for 
dinner  in  the  evening.  Angelique  wanted  me  to 
take  my  repasts  in  the  cabin,  but  I  would  not;  it 
would  have  given  me  nauseous  sensations,  so  I 
sat  between  the  Ambassador  and  the  Captain,  who, 
all  two  were  very  kind  to  me. 

9 


io  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  I  am  trying  to  learn  English  rapidly,  for  al- 
though I  have  always  spoken  it  with  you,  dear 
Mamma,  I  know  it  not  well.  I  was  a  great  deal 
with  a  nice  American  young  girl  whom  the  Ambas- 
sadress allowed  me  to  know,  and  I  am  studying 
her  expressions  and  also  the  lives  of  our  American 
authors.  I  did  not  ask  permission  before  reading 
the  book,  as  I  was  sure  the  subject  was  correct. 
I  think  our  literary  men,  although  perhaps  not  so 
famous  as  the  French,  are  better  peres  de  famille. 

"  I  cannot  describe  to  you  the  joy  of  my  heart,  as 
I  first  stepped  onto  American  ground,  although  it 
was  only  a  wooden  pier,  and  I  liked  to  hear  all  those 
dear  American  voices  shouting  around  me.  There 
is  no  trace  of  the  European  servitude  of  centuries 
in  the  noble  independence  of  manners  of  the  Custom 
House  officers ;  I  suppose  they  are,  like  me,  descend- 
ants of  the  liberators  of  our  country. 

"  A  gentleman  encountered  me  on  the  dock  with 
a  letter  from  my  grandmother  presenting  him  to 
me  as  my  cousin  Henry  Short.  I  was  disappointed 
not  to  find  him  the  type  of  the  Gibson  Album  young 
American,  with  a  straight  nose  and  a  firm  chin;  his 
nose  is  broad  and  he  has  no  chin  at  all;  but  his 
manners  are  friendly.  I  think  everybody  is  friendly 
here,  even  the  driver  of  cabs.  I  heard  my  cousin 
tell  the  inspector,  who  was  visiting  my  boxes,  that 
I  was  a  foreigner,  which  naturally  rendered  me  very 
indignant,  and  I  said,  trying  to  speak  a  little  through 


WEST  POINT  ii 

my  nose,  '  I  am  a  citizen  of  America  returning  to 
my  own  land.'  Cousin  Henry  had  the  air  annoyed 
and  I  discovered  to  call  myself  American  made  them 
disbelieve  all  I  said  about  my  frocks,  and  the  in- 
spector took  ten  times  more  longer,  which  was  rather 
cruel;  so  when  they  began  with  Angelique's  box  I 
assured  them  she  was  French  completely,  so  they 
treated  her  quite  quickly.  Unhappily  we  had  missed 
the  best  train  for  West  Point. 

"  The  pavements  of  the  City  of  New  York  are  a 
little  surprising,  they  upset  Angelique  very  much ; 
she  was  sick  to  her  heart  five  times  on  the  way  to  the 
station,  and  she  said  she  had  her  stomach  on  the  re- 
verse. Cousin  Henry  was  very  discreet  and  looked 
out  of  the  other  window  each  time ;  so  as  the  two 
windows  were  blocked,  I  saw  not  much  of  the 
beauties  of  the  town.  The  trains  are  very  demo- 
cratic, as  is  suitable  in  a  free  country,  and  they  al- 
lowed us  to  get  on  as  it  started;  there  are  no  com- 
partments, we  all  sat  close  together,  on  a  bench  for 
two;  Angelique  next  to  a  very  fat  man,  and  I  near 
a  little  old  woman,  who  talked  to  me  and  called 
me  '  my  dear '  and  offered  me  sweets.  Cousin 
Henry  had  to  stand  nearly  the  whole  length  of  the 
path.  But  oh !  the  river,  the  Hudson,  is  so  beauti- 
ful, I  was  in  ecstasy;  it  is  so  much  more  marvelous 
than  the  Rhine  with  its  ugly  vineyards,  and  it  is 
more  broad  and  of  an  aspect  so  noble. 

"  We  arrived  at  last ;  there  were  two  or  three  car- 


12  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

riages  waiting  at  the  station  with  such  thin  wheels. 
An  old  coachman  touched  his  hat  to  us,  and  he  was 
driving  two  ravishing  horses.  He  was  not  seated 
on  a  box  like  a  victoria,  but  the  two  seats  were  the 
same ;  it  is  more  American  not  to  make  distinctions. 
Cousin  Henry  helped  me  in  and  was  going  to  put 
Angelique  next  the  nice  old  coachman,  but  she  re- 
fused; she  said,  '  Je  ne  me  mettrais  jamais  sur  le 
siege.'  I  was  so  provoked  by  her  monkeynishes  that 
I  jumped  up  next  the  old  coachman,  so  she  and 
Cousin  Henry  sat  behind. 

"  It  was  very  comic  in  arriving  at  the  house.  The 
butler  who  stood  at  the  door,  helped  Angelique  out 
of  the  carriage  and  said,  '  This  way,  Miss,  Mrs. 
Carrington  is  waiting  for  you  in  the  parlor,'  but  I 
jumped  below  and  ran  in  ahead,  and  in  the  sitting- 
room  sat  my  dear  grandmother.  I  bent  down  to 
kiss  her  hand,  as  I  do  to  you,  dear  Mamma,  but  she 
would  not  let  me,  and  said,  '  Kiss  me,  my  child.' 
She  was  very  emotioned;  she  was  thinking  of  my 
poor  beloved  papa.  But  oh !  she  is  so  imposing  and 
beautiful;  her  hair  is  soft  and  white;  she  wears  a 
cap  of  lace,  and  always  a  black  silk  gown;  her  eyes 
are  blue  and  her  skin  is  pink  with  tiny  little  wrinkles, 
and  her  hands  are  nearly  as  pretty  as  yours,  dear 
Mamma,  and  she  wears  rings  that  are  wonders. 

"  My  first  day  in  America  would  have  been  per- 
fect except  for  the  lamentations  of  Angelique.  She 
complains  of  her  stomach,  of  her  head,  that  she  has 


WEST  POINT  13 

no  appetite,  that  there  is  no  soup  or  wine  for  the 
repast  of  the  evening,  that  no  one  speaks  French, 
that  there  is  only  one  manservant,  that  it  is  alto- 
gether a  country  of  savages.  I  nearly  slapped  her 
face  I  was  so  impatient,  and  I  sent  her  to  bed.  And 
there,  I  must  go  myself  as  it  is  very  late.  Please 
give  my  affectionate  greetings  to  Papa,  tender  kisses 
to  Hugo  and  Wilhelmine,  a  polite  message  but  not 
affectionate  to  Fraiilein,  and  I  kiss  your  hand,  dear- 
est Mamma,  many  times. 

"  Your  very  loving 

"  YVONNE." 


Ill 


JULY  i.  I  have  been  in  America  all  one  week, 
and  I  have  never  been  so  happy  in  my  life.  I 
feel  as  if  the  sad  years  of  my  youth  fulness  were 
rolling  away  like  clouds  over  my  head ;  even  Angel- 
ique,  the  only  black  spot  in  my  present  destiny,, 
by  her  lamentations  so  continual,  makes  me  compare 
more  vivaciously  the  joys  of  the  present  with  the 
oppressions  of  the  past. 

I  was  like  a  bird  in  her  cage  with  prison  doors 
opened  only  to  play  tricks.  We  dwelt  in  Paris  last 
winter  and  there  I  studied  without  remission;  I  fol- 
lowed History  and  Literature  courses ;  I  had  lessons 
of  singing,  piano,  elocution,  German,  Italian,  danc- 
ing and  deportment;  two  detestable  hours  a  week 
sewing  with  Fraulein;  also  one  hour's  cooking,  as 
my  mother  said  I  might  marry  myself  to  a  German 
and  these  domestic  things  would  be  required ;  thus  I 
have  been  prepared  to  espouse  men  of  every 
nationality.  My  one  joy  was  high  school  riding  les- 
sons, and  I  jump  so  well  my  step- father  has  promised 
to  let  me  go  to  the  imperial  hunt  next  autumn.  He 
has  always  good  intentions,  but  his  manners  are  cold 
and  severe. 

14 


WEST  POINT  15 

I  was  presented  this  spring  at  the  German  Court ; 
my  mother  being  the  wife  of  a  nobleman  and  an 
Ambassadress,  I  was  admitted  with  the  privileges 
of  the  aristocracy,  but  I  assured  everyone  I  was 
an  American,  therefore  "  biirgcrlich,"  although  the 
German  servants  call  me  Comtesse  Yvonne  like  my 
little  sister  Wilhelmine.  Since  our  glorious  Marine 
was  victorious  over  Spain,  and  since  royal  princes 
go  to  America  to  amuse  themselves,  our  country 
has  gained  much  prestige  in  European  eyes.  Those 
who  questioned  me  about  America  when  they  heard 
me  sing  her  praise,  were  surprised  when  I  avowed 
I  had  never  been  there.  This  was  a  bitter  sorrow 
which  rendered  me  all  mortified,  but  now  I  shall  be 
able  to  tell  from  my  own  experience  how  perfect 
she  is. 

I  am  content  to  verify  that  I  speak  English  already 
more  runningly;  never  do  I  let  escape  a  foreign 
word  and  my  little  dictionary  is  always  near  me. 

My  grandmother  fills  me  with  love  and  admira- 
tion ;  she  never  tells  me  I  am  too  young  or  too  old 
to  do  things  I  want;  when  she  calls  me  her  little 
girl,  my  heart  melts  of  tenderness,  for  no  one  has 
treated  me  in  a  manner  so  sweet  before.  My 
mother  I  did  see  but  rarely,  and  she  likes  not 
caresses.  When  Hugo  and  Wilhemine  were  babies 
I  did  embrace  them  all  I  wanted,  but  no  one  did 
embrace  me  in  my  turn,  and  so  my  heart  instead 
of  blossoming  has  remained  a  little  closed  bud.  But 


16  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

my  soul  did  find  expansion  in  my  love  of  God.  I 
often  lay  awake  at  night  and  imagined  angels  near 
me.  I  have  spent  a  whole  hour  on  my  knees,  on  the 
cold  bricks  of  the  Chapel  in  our  Castle,  till  I  fell 
in  a  sort  of  a  trance  with  sensations  soft  and  angel- 
ical, but  notwithstanding  these  aspirations  towards 
Heaven,  I  am  naturally  very  bad ;  to  better  under- 
stand my  nature  I  will  divide  my  faults  and  qualities. 

FAULTS. 

No.     i.     Selfish. 

No.  2.  Impolite  towards  people  I  hate,  like  Fraii- 
lein. 

No.     3.     Impatient  with  people  like  Angelique. 

No.     4.     Obstinate. 

No.     5.     Vain. 

No.     6.     Unconscientious. 

No.     7.     Careless. 

No.     8.     Forgetful. 

No.     9.     Impetuous. 

No.   10.     Adoring  pleasure. 

No.   ii.     Mundane. 

No.  12.  Desirous  to  seduce  persons  by  hypocritical 
charms. 

No.  13.  Passionate;  I  mean  when  I  love  people  I 
want  to  press  them  in  my  arms ;  when 
I  am  happy  I  want  to  sing,  and  jump 
over  chairs ;  when  I  am  angry  I  want 
to  cry  and  tear  things  to  pieces,  so 


WEST  POINT  17 

I  suppose  I  have  a  nature  very  vio- 
lent, although  I  can  be  so  gentle,  too. 

QUALITIES. 

No.  I.  Patriotic. 

No.  2.  Religious. 

No.  3.  Truthful. 

No.  4.  Affectionate. 

No.  5.  Generous. 

No.  6.  A  great  desire  to  do  right. 

No.  7.  Rarely  cross. 

No.  8.  Discreet. 

No.  9.  Not  curious. 

No.  10.  Manners   which   are   excellent,   but   they 

come  from  ceaseless  overwatching. 

No.  ii.  A  strong  will;  this  last  quality  is  for  the 

good  and  for  the  bad. 

So  in  calculating  the  total  I  have  two  more  faults 
than  qualities,  which  is  discouraging.  I  may  add 
to  my  qualities  in  becoming  old,  but  I  am  no  better 
now  than  when  I  was  young;  here,  at  least,  I  am 
so  happy,  I  have  no  temptations  except  to  slap  Angel- 
ique.  She  cannot  get  accustomed  to  no  dinner 
in  the  evening  and  no  wine.  I  tell  her  the  enormous 
American  breakfast  is  instead  of  dinner,  and  that 
the  sparkling  American  air  is  like  champagne,  that 
she  can  aspirate  with  every  respiration,  but  she  will 
not  let  herself  be  convinced.  She  is  like  a  mule, 
2 


i8  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

so  obstinate.  She  thought  it  her  duty  to  accompany 
me  on  my  first  walk.  We  escaladed  a  hill  so  pre- 
cipitous, that  on  our  return  we  had  to  sit  on  the 
grass  to  slide  down,  and  she  declared  she  would 
not  support  such  expeditions.  To  my  joy  my  grand- 
mother allows  me  to  go  alone.  Angelique  said, 
"  Que  dirait  Madame  la  Comtesse,  si  elle  savait  que 
Mademoiselle  se  hasarde  seide  sur  les  grands 
chemins."  •  But  I  think  she  is  content  to  stay  at 
home ;  the  butler  teaches  her  English  and  she  trims 
hats  for  the  maids.  Their  admiration  of  her  ad- 
dress consoles  her  a  little  for  her  exile  of  France. 

Thus  I  promenade  myself  alone,  which  makes  me 
happy.  I  can  march  as  fast  as  I  want;  I  can  stop 
to  look  at  those  ravishing  little  honey-birds  who 
plunge  their  long  beaks  in  the  corolla  of  the  flowers ; 
I  can  run  down  hills ;  I  can  sit  myself  and  contem- 
plate the  clouds ;  I  have  no  more  to  adapt  my  paces 
to  a  detestable,  grumbling  German,  who  but  looks 
at  my  shoulders,  my  head,  my  arms,  my  legs,  to 
correct  the  way  I  employ  them. 

The  peasants  here  do  not  bow  to  the  passersby, 
only  an  Italian  organ  grinder  saluted  me.  I  asked  a 
man  the  direction  to  the  river.  He  did  not  lift  his 
hat  only  pointed  with  his  thumb ;  perhaps  American 
manners  are  not  as  well  cultivated  as  European 
ones,  but  after  all  good  manners  are  not  natural, 
all  children  have  to  be  taught  and  punished.  The 


WEST  POINT  19 

salute  of  the  peasant  is  the  result  of  the  servility  of 
generations,  so  even  in  this,  to  be  truly  loyal  to 
my  nation,  I  must  admire  the  independence  of  their 
gestures. 


IV 


JULY  4th.  Declaration  of  American  Independ- 
ence. 

I  was  awakened  this  morning  at  four  o'clock  by 
noises  of  war.  I  thought  our  soldiers  at  West  Point 
were  making  the  manoeuvres  and  repelling  a  false 
attack ;  so  I  listened  to  the  firing  of  the  first  Ameri- 
can guns  I  had  ever  heard,  with  a  trembling  joy  in 
my  heart.  They  sounded  very  differently  from 
European  guns  as  they  went  off  in  loud  crackles, 
even  under  my  window ;  then  I  heard  whistles  very 
acute  and  the  sound  of  tin  bells. 

I  got  up,  and  in  front  of  the  house  I  saw  little 
boys  and  big  boys  and  men  making  to  explode 
crackers;  thus  my  patriotic  transports  were  a  little 
diminished,  as  I  should  like  to  have  slept  longer, 
but  the  detonations  never  ceased,  and  we  could  not 
all  day  forget,  for  one  instant,  that  it  was  an  Ameri- 
can feast.  I  tried  to  be  pleased  by  the  fervor  of 
the  people,  but  it  rendered  Angelique  very  cross  and 
even  somewhat  agitated  my  grandmother. 

My  cousin,  Henry  Short,  had  come  to  spend  the 
holiday  with  us,  and  I  made  a  long  walk  with  him 
in  the  morning.  He  asked  me  a  great  many  ques- 

20 


WEST  POINT  21 

tions  about  things  all  natural,  and  he  smiled  all  the 
time  at  my  answers ;  but  to  me,  it  is  equal,  for  thus 
do  I  learn  more  English,  and  it  flatters  me  a  little, 
for  never  before  did  an  older  person  want  to  listen 
to  me  speak. 

I  sat  alone  with  my  dear  grandmother  a  little 
of  a  time  before  lunch,  and  she  asked  me  how  I 
liked  my  Cousin  Henry.  I  said,  "  I  find  him  nice 
but  he  has  not  manners  very  seductive.  He  called 
me  a  pollygoat.  What  does  that  mean  to  say?" 
My  grandmother  had  the  air  surprised.  '  Yes,"  I 
continued,  "  when  I  said  I  spoke  four  languages 
he  called  me  a  regular  pollygoat." 

My  grandmother  laughed  and  explained  he  must 
have  said  polyglot,  which  signifies  a  speaker  of 
many  tongues.  I  was  all  confused  at  my  stupidity. 

My  grandmother  then  added  in  stroking  my 
hand,  "  My  dear  little  girl,  I  am  afraid  it  is  dull 
for  you  here ;  there  are  no  young  people  and  you 
have  come  to  America  to  see  something  of  society 
and  enjoy  yourself." 

I  said,  "  But  I  am  so  happy  with  you,  dear  Grand- 
mamma. I  have  never  been  so  happy  before,  and  it 
is  a  joy  for  me  just  to  walk  alone.  I  received  a  let- 
ter to-day  from  my  aunt,  Mrs.  King,  who  invites  me 
to  make  her  a  visit  at  Newport,  but  I  shall  thank 
her  and  refuse." 

"  No,  my  child,"  said  my  grandmother,  "  I  wish 
you  to  accept.  Mrs.  King  is  your  mother's  sister; 


22  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

she  has  young  daughters  and  you  must  go,  for  there 
you  will  have  the  chance  to  see  one  of  the  gayest 
places  in  the  world." 

I  did  want  somewhat  to  go,  so  it  was  not  diffi- 
cult to  obey.  When  I  heard  it  was  a  seashore  place 
where  I  could  bathe,  I  ran  up  to  tell  Angelique 
she  must  make  me  the  prettiest  bathing  suit  imag- 
inable. We  both  remembered  one  the  Comtesse 
de  Villars  wore  at  Trouville,  and  Angelique  said 
she  would  copy  it  exactly.  She  is  pleased  to  go 
to  Newport  for  she  knows  my  aunt's  French  maid, 
and  that  she  will  find  there  a  big  style  of  house, 
just  what  I  detest  —  Angelique  and  I  have  not  the 
same  tastes. 

In  the  afternoon  my  Cousin  Henry  took  me  to 
West  Point,  our  military  school,  which  corresponds 
to  St.  Cyr.  The  Colonel  was  having  a  large  re- 
ception; it  was  thus  my  debut  in  American  society. 
When  I  courtesied  and  kissed  the  hand  of  the 
Colonel's  wife  she  seemed  much  surprised;  perhaps 
it  is  not  the  custom  here,  for  I  saw  no  other  young 
girls  do  it;  they  had  manners  very  free  and  talked 
with  loud  voices;  I  heard  one  tell  a  cadet  he  was 
a  "  perfect  darling "  because  he  did  give  her  his 
photograph,  but  perhaps  they  were  betrothed. 

The  cadets  and  officers  had  the  air  very  nice ;  they 
held  themselves  as  straight  as  German  cadets,  and 
I  was  so  happy  to  feel  I  was  at  last  in  the  midst 
of  my  own  army,  and  not  a  stranger,  as  usual,  among 


WEST  POINT  23 

European  troops  who  might  any  day  be  my  ene- 
mies. I  was  so  interested  looking  at  everyone,  I 
forgot  I  was  a  young  lady  in  society,  until  some 
cadets  were  presented  to  me,  and  one  of  them  asked 
me  to  dance. 

There  was  a  big  tent  where  the  military  music 
played,  and  I  soon  discovered  that  my  compatriots 
dance  like  a  dream,  as  well  as  Austrians.  Oh!  it 
was  ideal !  I  danced  without  ceasing,  laughing  and 
talking  all  the  time.  It  was  delicious  not  to  have 
to  return  to  a  chaperon ;  Cousin  Henry  did  observe 
me,  but  I  did  not  have  to  pay  attention  to  him.  He 
came  to  ask  me  to  go  with  him  to  have  an  ice, 
when  a  charming  Lieutenant  Hill  reminded  me  I 
had  promised  to  go  with  him,  and  three  cadets 
said  it  was  their  turn  for  a  dance.  I  felt  myself 
in  a  whirlwind  of  enchantment. 

After  Lieutenant  Hill  and  I  had  taken  refresh- 
ments he  offered  to  show  me  the  Armory  of  which 
I  was  very  content.  He  indicated  the  portraits  of 
the  Presidents;  I  had  only  heard  speak  of  Wash- 
ington and  Lincoln ;  my  ignorance  was  lamentable ! 

"What  did  that  one  do?"  I  asked,  pointing  to 
a  sad  looking  man  in  uniform. 

"  Why  that  is  General  Grant!  " 

"  And  who  was  he?  " 

Lieutenant  Hill  exclaimed  himself,  "  Well,  I'll 
be  jiggered!  " 

I  did  not  understand  this  new  American  word; 


24  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

looking  at  me,  he  added,  "  See  here,  Miss  Carring- 
ton,  where  have  you  lived  all  your  life." 

"  In  Europe,"  I  answered. 

"  Then  I  suppose  you  have  heard  of  Napoleon." 

"  Yes,"  I  answered  with  dignity,  for  his  manner 
of  questioning  offended  me  a  little,  "  I  know  all 
that  concerns  him." 

"  In  that  case  you  may  know  too  much,  but  let 
me  tell  you  that  our  General  Grant  was  a  greater 
and  far  better  man  than  your  Napoleon." 

I  was  very  indignant  and  said,  "  He  is  not  my 
Napoleon,  and  General  Grant  is  as  much  mine  as 
yours,  and  if  I  have  been  enough  mis  fortunate  to  be 
elevated  in  Europe,  it  was  not  of  my  fault,  and  you 
ought  not  to  mock  yourself  of  my  greatest  unhappi- 
ness."  I  became  more  indignant  still  when  I  felt 
tears  come  to  my  eyes  and  I  turned  myself  and 
walked  to  the  door. 

He  followed  me  quickly  and  said,  "  Beg  pardon, 
Miss  Carrington,  I  supposed,  as  you  were  brought 
up  abroad,  you  could  not  possibly  care  for  these 
men  we  West  Pointers  love  and  honor  so  much." 

I  looked  him  well  in  the  whites  of  the  eyes,  al- 
though I  felt  one  tear  I  could  not  retain  roll  down 
my  cheek.  I  said,  "  Mr.  Lieutenant,  from  the 
tenderest  age  I  have  adored  my  country ;  it  has  been 
to  me  my  great  pain  of  never  having  seen  it.  If 
I  know  not  my  American  History,  it  is  because  I 
was  made  to  learn  all  the  histories  of  Europe  first. 


WEST  POINT  25 

This  last  winter  I  was  studying  Modern  History, 
but  I  had  the  bad  chance  to  have  the  Grippe  during 
the  moment  we  came  to  the  chapter  devoted  to 
American  History,  and  thus  I  am  so  ignorant  of 
what  I  most  wanted  to  know." 

"  Please  forgive  me,"  he  said  humbly,  "  I  am 
awfully  sorry." 

"  You  must  be  sorry  for  me,"  I  said  sadly,  "  you 
need  not  be  sorry  for  yourself." 

"  I  am  sorry  for  us  both,  then ;  sony  I  was  such 
an  ass,  and  sorry  you  never  learnt  that  chapter,  but 
look  here,  Miss  Carrington,  let  me  give  you  lessons. 
I  'd  just  love  it." 

"  Oh,  thank  you,"  I  said,  once  again  happy,  "  will 
you  really?  I  should  be  so  very  grateful." 

"  All  right  then,  when  shall  we  begin?  " 

"  To-morrow  morning,  if  you  want ;  I  am  alone  all 
the  morning." 

"  First  rate !  Then  I  shall  be  at  your  house  at 
twelve.  I  am  free  then,  it  is  the  dinner  hour." 

"  And  you  will  miss  your  repast?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  don't  mind,"  he  answered,  "  after  all  dinner 
is  only  an  old  chestnut." 

I  nearly  exclaimed  myself  when  I  heard  our  dear 
soldiers  were  given  such  queer  nourishment,  but  I 
try  now  to  firmly  suppress  all  my  wonders. 

We  left  the  Armory  and  Lieutenant  Hill  showed 
me  the  points  of  view  around  the  fortifications  and 
took  me  to  a  path  called  "  Flirtation  Walk." 


26  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  hesitated  to  advance.  "  Do  only  people  who 
flirt  come  here  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  That  is  done  everywhere,"  he  said. 

So  I  followed  him  and  I  asked,  "  Do  nice  young 
girls  have  flirts  ?  " 

He  looked  a  little  intrigued  and  said  laughing, 
"  Search  me!  for  I  guess  I  am  out  of  the  running." 

I  was  offended  at  his  remark  and  said  coldly,  "  I 
do  not  want  to  touch  you,  Mr.  Lieutenant." 

"  Don't  get  mad  with  me,  Miss  Carrington. 
Your  French  and  my  slang  don't  quite  understand 
each  other  yet,  but  we  '11  take  lessons  of  one  an- 
other and  you  '11  see  we  '11  get  on  capitally." 

"  I  only  asked  you  about  flirting,"  I  said,  with 
an  air  very  grave,  "  because  I  wanted  to  hear  an 
American  officer's  opinion.  It  is  a  pastime  so  dif- 
ferently regarded.  I  have  only  seen  other  people 
do  it  in  all  sorts  of  ways,  and  heard  the  people  not 
doing  it  criticise  them  so  much.  I  am  really  as 
ignorant  on  this  subject  as  about  the  American 
Presidents." 

It  was  dark  when  we  returned  to  the  tent ;  Chinese 
lanterns  were  lighted,  and  I  began  dancing  again, 
and  they  all  said  I  ought  to  wait  for  the  fireworks. 
But  Cousin  Henry  arrived  with  an  air  very  cross; 
he  said  he  had  looked  for  me  everywhere  for  over 
an  hour  and  thought  something  had  happened.  So 
I  said,  "  Cousin  Henry,  you  knew  I  was  under  the 


WEST  POINT  27 

protection  of  our  American  officers,  therefore  I  was 
safe." 

They  all  clapped  their  hands  and  made  me  a  little 
ovation,  but  Cousin  Henry  looked  more  cross 
and  said  we  must  go  home  at  once.  I  heard  as 
we  left  the  tent  an  officer  whisper  to  him,  "  Your 
French  cousin  is  a  corker !  "  It  was  meant  as  a 
compliment,  I  suppose,  but  I  was  greatly  afflicted  to 
be  called  French.  How  soon  shall  I  lose  my  for- 
eign appearance  ?  And  what  can  corker  mean  ? 

We  were  silent  as  we  drove  home,  till  at  length 
Cousin  Henry  said,  "  My  dear  Yvonne,  as  I  am 
somewhat  older  than  you  and  a  relative,  you  must 
allow  me  to  make  an  observation:  your  enthusiasm 
for  America  and  Americans  is  no  doubt  very  de- 
lightful, but  you  ought  to  moderate  your  expression 
of  it  somewhat,  as  it  must  appear  to  strangers  an 
affectation  or  at  least  an  exaggeration." 

That  piqued  me  to  the  quick ;  "  Cousin  Henry, 
you  are  not  worthy  to  be  an  American,  and  to  those 
who  love  their  country,  my  admiration  cannot  seem 
exaggerated.  I  heard  you  remark  in  the  tent  that 
the  4th  of  July  was  the  beastliest  day  in  the  year, 
and  I  was  mortified  a  cousin  of  mine  could  say  such 
a  thing  to  our  officers,  who  have  consecrated  their 
lives  to  the  service  of  their  land.  I  am  sure  they 
understood  my  sentiments.  Did  they  not  applaud 
my  words?"  Cousin  Henry  mumbled  something 


28  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  did  not  understand,  and  I  did  not  deign  to  question, 
I  felt  I  had  triumphed. 

As  we  turned  into  the  avenue  he  patted  my  hand 
which  I  did  not  like  at  all  and  said,  "  Let 's  be  good 
friends,  Yvonne.  You  are  a  nice  little  girl,  though 
somewhat  foolish."  I  find  his  tone  insupportable; 
it  reminds  me  of  Fraiilein,  although  he  is  more 
amiable  usually.  "  And  by  the  way,"  he  added, 
"  I  prefer  to  have  you  call  me  Henry." 

"  Oh,  but !  "  I  said  astonished,  "  you  give  me  ad- 
vice because  you  are  so  much  older,  and  thus  it 
would  not  be  respectful." 

"  Rats !  "  he  cried  out. 

"  O  my  God !  "  I  screamed,  for  I  have  rats  in 
horror.  I  jumped  on  the  seat  just  as  we  drove  to 
the  door,  so  the  butler  and  coachman  must  have 
thought  Cousin  Henry  had  pinched  me. 

"  You  silly  child,"  he  said  and  pulled  me  down, 
"  '  rats  '  is  slang." 

I  have  resolved  to  ask  Lieutenant  Hill  to  teach 
me  slang  before  we  begin  on  History. 
•  At  table  I  told  my  grandmother  that  a  kind  officer 
had  offered  to  give  me  lessons  in  American  His- 
tory and  would  she  permit  me  to  take  them.  She 
was  very  willing  and  I  said,  "If  Angelique  sits  in 
the  room  with  her  work  it  will  be  sufficient  chaperon- 
age,  will  it  not?  " 

"  Quite  sufficient,"  said  my  grandmother  smiling. 

When  I  saw  how  kind  she  looked,  I  asked,  "  May 


WEST  POINT  29 

I  give  Lieutenant  Hill  something  to  eat  as  he  has 
only  old  chestnuts  for  dinner  ?  " 

"Only  old  chestnuts!"  exclaimed  my  grand- 
mother and  Cousin  Henry. 

"  Yes,  he  told  me  so  himself." 

"  He  was  laughing  at  you,"  said  Cousin  Henry. 

"  I  hope  not,"  I  answered,  "  for  he  is  a  very  nice 
officer." 

Cousin  Henry  displeases  me  sovereignly. 


V 


JULY  5th.  I  come  from  having  my  first  lesson 
in  American  History;  I  felt  myself  a  little  timid 
to  ask  him  to  teach  me  slang  firstly.  I  received 
him  in  the  little  sitting  room;  it  was  very  hot  and 
all  the  windows  were  open  to  catch  the  breeze.  An- 
gelique was  seated  in  a  corner  with  her  work.  I 
had  forgotten  it  was  her  dinner  hour  and  so  she 
was  of  her  very  worst  humor,  and  coughed  all 
the  time,  to  not  let  us  forget  she  was  there.  When 
Lieutenant  Hill  was  announced,  I  observed  how  he 
held  himself  of  a  manner  so  straight  and  military, 
and  I  did  like  it.  He  had  the  air  astonished  to 
see  Angelique  sitting  in  her  corner,  but  he  said 
nothing  and  showed  me  a  book  he  had  brought. 

I  shall  inscribe  as  a  dialogue  our  conversation, 
for  I  have  a  memory  very  exact. 

He  — "Miss  Carrington,  I  am  going  to  be  a  very 
strict  teacher,  and  we  shall  get  on  very  rapidly." 

I  — "  It  must  well  be  rapid,  as  I  leave  for  New- 
port in  four  days." 

He  — "That  is  too  bad !  I  hoped  to  see  a  lot  of 
you  for  a  long  time." 

(Angelique  coughs,  she  is  beginning  to  understand 
30 


WEST  POINT  31 

a  little  English;  the  butler  must  be  a  good  instruc- 
tor.) 

I  — "  We  want  to  dispatch  the  beginning  so  that 
I  can  learn  of  our  Presidents." 

He  — "  You  have  heard  of  Columbus?  " 

I  — "But  yes,  he  was  born  at  Genoa ;  I  have  there 

seen  his  statue,  and  I  know  of  how  Ferdinand  and 

Isabella  did  assist  him,  although  they  were  occupied 

with  the  siege  of  Granada,   which  surrendered  in 

I493-" 

He — "When  did  Columbus  come  to  America?" 

I  — "  About  the  same  time." 

He — "That  date  you  must  know —  1492.  The 
siege  of  Granada  is  of  no  importance  compared 
to  it.  Now  go  on;  what  more  do  you  know?  " 

I  — "  Under  Louis  XIV  the  French  acquired  Lou- 
isiana and  discovered  Canada  and  the  Mississippi. 
All  America  ought  to  have  been  a  French  colony 
instead  of  English.  It  was  the  weakness  of  the 
ministry  of  Choiseul  under  Louis  XV  which  was 
the  cause,  and  yet,  if  the  Marquis  of  Montcalm 
had  not  been  killed  at  Quebec  in  1759,  the  French 
valor  would  have  triumphed  over  the  English  ar- 
rogance." 

He  — "  Your  learning  has  been  very  one-sided  ; 
I  take  entirely  the  English  point  of  view." 

I  — "Oh !  but  the  English  are  our  enemies,  and 
it  was  because  the  Marquis  de  la  Fayette,  the  Due 
de  Noailles  and  other  French  noblemen  instructed 


32  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Washington  in  the  art  of  war  that  we  triumphed, 
and  that  the  English  are  no  longer  our  masters. 
Imagine  if  you  were  now  an  English  officer.  What 
a  horror !  " 

He  — "  But  really  Miss  Carrirrgton  — 

I  — "  Oh,  let  me  finish.  For  I  know  also  that 
Washington  and  Franklin  were  great  generals  and 
that  with  the  help  of  the  French  they  destroyed 
the  English  army  and  fleet;  that  in — " 

He  — "  I  beg  you  to  stop." 

I,  continuing — "That  in  1783  the  peace  was 
signed  at  Versailles.  I  also  know  that  Washington 
was  our  first  President ;  that  he  wrote  the  code  of 
our  laws,  by  which  every  American  citizen  is  equal 
to  the  other ;  that  South  America  and  North  Amer- 
ica declared  themselves  war,  as  the  South  pos- 
sessed slaves  and  wanted  to  keep  them,  and  the 
North  had  none,  and  wanted  not  the  South  to  have 
them  either.  Of  this  war  I  know  not  the  date, 
but  I  think  Lincoln  was  like  Washington  —  gen- 
eral-in-chief  —  and  then  became  President.  There 
are  two  streets  off  the  Champs  Elysees  called  for 
them." 

(I  was  breathless  from  talking  so  fast  and  the 
Lieutenant  had  an  air  resigned.) 

He  — "  Have  you  exhausted  all  your  knowl- 
edge?" 

I  — "  Not  quite ;  for  I  have  heard  that  although 
we  are  all  Republicans,  some  men  want  to  be  a 


WEST  POINT  33 

little  more  so,  and  call  themselves  Democrats,  and 
they  quarrel  like  the  Republicans  in  South  America ; 
thus  our  Presidents  are  murdered  sometimes  by  the 
party  opposite.  I  think  Washington  or  Lincoln  was 
murdered,  but  I  avow,  I  don't  know  the  which." 

He  — "  Well,  I  '11  be  jiggered !  " 

I— "What  do  you  say?" 

He — "If  that  is  what  they  teach  you  abroad, 
I  call  it  rotten." 

(Rising  with  dignity.) 

I  — "  Mr.  Lieutenant,  I  thought  you  came  here 
to  instruct  me,  and  when  I  make  mistakes  my  teach- 
ers do  not  insult  me  and  call  them  decayed." 
(Then  turning  to  Angelique.)  "  Venez  Angelique 
la  leqon  est  fime." 

He,  jumping  up  — "  Now,  Miss  Carrington,  I 
beg  you  to  stop  an  instant  and  accept  my  apologies. 
You  misunderstand  my  words." 

I  — "  I  understand  enough  to  know  when  a  gen- 
tleman is  impolite." 

He  —  '  Yes,  I  was  beastly  rude ;  please  remain, 
say  anything  you  want,  and  forgive  me." 

I,  smiling  a  little  — "  It  is  the  second  time  that  I 
must  forgive  you." 

He  — "  Yes,  you  are  an  angel ;  and  now  let  us 
unravel  these  historical  statements  together." 

Angelique   who   was   near  the  door  coughed ;   I 
bade  her  sit  herself  which  she  did  very  noisily,  as 
if  protesting. 
3 


34  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

He  — "  Does  your  maid  always  assist  at  your 
lessons  ?  " 

I  — "  But  yes ;  in  France  a  maid  would  not  suffice ; 
I  should  have  to  be  overwatched  by  a  governess." 

He  — "  What  a  rotten  country  to  be  sure." 

I,  raising  my  eyebrows  — "  Again  the  ugly  word, 
Mr.  Lieutenant." 

He  — "  Beg  pardon,  but  it  makes  me  mad  to 
think  that  a  girl  can't  trust  herself  alone  with  a 
gentleman." 

I  — "  Oh,  but  I  trust  you;  it  is  only  for  the  con- 
ventions." 

He  — "  Here  we  require  no  such  absurd  precau- 
tions." 

I  — "  Do  young  girls  receive  young  men  all 
alone?" 

He  — "  Of  course  they  do." 

I  — "  I  remember  that  Lily  Stuart  told  me  the 
same  thing;  you  would  not  then  be  surprised  if  I 
sent  my  maid  away?  " 

He  — "  I  should  be  infinitely  satisfied." 

I,  reflecting  a  moment  — "  Perhaps,  Mr.  Lieuten- 
ant, you  will  take  a  little  collation  ?  " 

He— "What's  that?" 

I,  embarrassed  — "  I  mean  to  say,  something  to 
eat." 

He — "If  you  are  having  something,  I'll  join 
you." 

This  was  a  good  excuse  to  dismiss  Angelique. 


WEST  POINT  35 

I  told  her  to  ask  the  butler  to  bring  the  little  lunch 
I  had  had  prepared,  and  that  she  need  not  return. 

I — "I  thought  you  might  be  hungry,  if  they 
only  give  you  at  West  Point  old  chestnuts  to  eat, 
as  you  told  me  yesterday." 

He  — "  I  never  said  that." 

I  — "  Oh,  but  yes,  you  said  you  did  not  mind 
missing  your  dinner,  it  was  an  old  chestnut." 

He,  laughing  — "  That 's  slang,  Miss  Carring- 
ton.  By  Jove,  that 's  a  pretty  good  joke.  You 
are  a  regular  daisy !  " 

The  Lieutenant  was  still  laughing  when  An- 
gelique  herself  returned  with  the  tray;  she  will  never 
carry  one  on  other  occasions. 

I,  to  Angelique  — "  Je  n  'ai  plus  bcsoin  de  vous." 

She,  sitting  down  -  •"  Je  remplirai  mon  devoir 
envcrs  Madame  la  Comtesse  qui  ne  permetterait 
jamais  a  Mademoiselle  de  rester  settle  avec  un  jeune 
Monsieur.3' 

I  was  furious,  but  would  not  make  her  a  scene,  and 
hoped  she  had  hunger  at  seeing  us  eat.  When  we 
had  finished  our  little  repast,  he  told  me  about  the 
Civil  War. 

He  — "  And  really,  Miss  Carrington,  considering 
your  grandfather  was  killed  at  Gettysburg  — 

I,  stupefied  — "  What !  and  I  was  never  told !  " 

He  — "  That  is  extraordinary." 

I  — "  Yes,  is  it  not?  My  father  died  when  I  was 
a  little  child,  and  my  mother  is  not  patriotic,  alas! 


36  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

She  seems  to  belong  to  all  the  countries  she  inhabits. 
My  dear  grandmother,  I  suppose,  thought  I  knew. 
Oh!  I  shall  love  and  venerate  her  more  than  ever. 
I  see  now  why  you  were  petrified  at  my  ignorance. 
I  supposed  it  did  sound  in  your  ears  '  decayed.'  ' 

He  — "  I  said  rotten." 

I  — "  But  yes,  it  is  the  same  thing,  and  now  you 
will  find  me  a  scholar  so  attentive." 

And  we  did  no  more  quarrel.  He  said  I  had 
wonderful  dispositions  for  learning,  and  he  is  com- 
ing to-morrow. 


VI 


JULY  8th.  I  awoke  this  morning  at  six  and  I 
am  writing  in  the  freshness  of  the  day,  before 
I  start  on  my  voyage.  It  seems  to  me  that  my 
heart  is  a  little  bubbling  fountain,  but  I  must  sub- 
ject my  turbulent  emotions  to  relate  what  has  ar- 
rived to  me. 

The  second  day  of  my  lesson  I  demanded  the 
permission  of  my  grandmother  not  to  have  An- 
gelique  in  the  room ;  she  thought  it  all  natural  that 
I  should  be  alone,  but  Angelique  was  offended  for 
she  liked  the  importance  it  gave  her  to  be  my 
chaperon.  Thus,  Lieutenant  Hill  and  I  were  alone, 
which  was  very  agreeable,  and  he  gave  me  a  gen- 
eral idea  of  our  history  and  I  discovered  how  much 
my  ideas  had  been  false.  Then  to  repose  ourselves 
we  walked  in  the  garden  and  he  asked  me  the  his- 
tory of  my  life,  which  he  said  he  found  more  inter- 
esting than  American  Presidents,  but  I  scolded  him 
for  not  possessing  sentiments  more  patriotic.  My 
grandmother  invited  him  to  remain  to  lunch,  as  he 
thus  missed  his  own  on  account  of  me;  he  did  not 
kiss  her  hand  as  a  young  man  would  do  abroad  for 
courtesy,  but  his  manners  were  very  respectful,  and 

37 


38  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  was  proud  of  her  air  so  distinguished  and  his 
air  so  military. 

The  third  day  my  lesson  was  short;  the  events 
are  not  very  interesting  after  the  murder  of  Lin- 
coln, for  there  are  no  wars  or  revolutions,  only 
two  or  three  Presidents  are  assassinated  by  imbe- 
ciles. We  again  walked  in  the  garden,  where  I 
asked  him  the  history  of  his  life;  he  belongs  to  a 
family  of  militaries  —  his  father  is  a  colonel  in  the 
West,  and  he  says  the  West  is  the  true  land  of 
promise  in  the  United  States.  He  invited  me  to 
drive  with  him  late  in  the  afternoon  as  it  was  our 
last  day.  I  said  I  would  ask  permission  of  my 
grandmother,  which  she  did  accord  me  at  once. 
When  I  returned  he  said,  "  Your  grandmother  is  a 
corker." 

Oh,  what  does  mean  corking?  If  it  applies  to 
bottles,  it  cannot  apply  to  my  grandmother,  too; 
I  feel  a  timidity  to  ask,  for  if  I  were  a  real  Ameri- 
can I  should  know. 

Before  starting  on  the  drive  I  suspected  Lieu- 
tenant Hill  to  love  me  a  little,  for  else  why  should  he 
want  to  see  me  twice  in  a  day,  and  before  he  brought 
me  home,  I  knew  he  did  love  me  much,  and  now  I 
am  so  content  to  be  betrothed  to  an  American  offi- 
cer, for  I  had  always  redoubted  greatly  to  espouse 
a  European.  I  shall  relate  our  conversation  and 
how  everything  has  arrived. 

At  five  and  a  half  he  came  for  me  in  a  buggy; 


WEST  POINT  39 

an  adorable  carriage,  without  a  groom,  only  for 
two.  I  have  observed  that  in  my  country  many 
things  are  thus  arranged  for  only  two  at  a  time. 

The  afternoon  was  deliciously  fresh  after  a  hot 
day,  and  the  road  was  shadowed  by  big  trees;  at 
first  the  horse  went  rapidly,  but  in  ascending  a  steep 
path  up  a  hill,  the  horse  walked,  and  I  think  after 
that  he  walked  most  of  the  time  and  did  even  stop 
to  eat  the  grass.  I  admired  the  scenery  and  the 
Lieutenant  related  about  West  Point,  and  then,  I 
know  not  how,  we  talked  about  ourselves  —  thus : 

I  — "  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  it  is  the 
first  time  that  I  went  in  a  carriage,  head  to  head 
with  a  young  man." 

He  — "  How  's  that,  Miss  Carrington  ?  " 

I  — "  But  yes,  do  you  not  understand  ?  In  Eu- 
rope when  a  young  girl  is  left  all  alone  with  a 
young  man,  people  think  there  is  danger  he  may 
talk  to  her  more  literally  than  if  they  were  over- 
watched." 

He  — "  I  see ;  that  danger  exists  here  sometimes, 
too.  I  swear,  your  literal  translations  are  too  cun- 
ning for  anything!  " 

(While  he  guides  the  horse  past  a  steam  roller, 
I  look  in  my  dictionary  for  the  word  cunning. ) 

I  — "  But  no,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  not  cunning ;  I  em- 
ploy no  artifice,  I  am  not  crafty;  I  only  speak  in 
the  best  manner  that  I  know." 

He  — "  By  Jove,  I  love  to  hear  you  talk,  and  we 


40  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

mean  here  by  cunning  just  what  you  are  —  some- 
thing sweet  and  lovable." 

I  — "  Oh,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  if  you  knew  how  I 
was  afflicted  to  speak  so  differently  from  others, 
and  above  all  not  to  understand  the  American  slang ; 
when  you  say  peaches,  and  daisies,  and  dates,  and 
chestnuts,  and  rats,  and  corking,  and  rotten,  and 
*  search  me,'  and  so  many  other  expressions  that  in 
my  dictionary  mean  flowers,  and  fruits,  and  nuts, 
and  animals,  and  actions,  so  different;  I  am  alto- 
gether discouraged  and  fear  I  may  never  learn." 

He  — "  You  are  in  the  right  and  we  are  wrong 
to  use  all  these  stupid  words;  don't  try  and  learn 
them,  but  just  go  on  talking  in  your  own  pretty 
way,  with  that  bewitching  accent,  which  makes  me 
think  of  the  song  of  a  bird." 

I  — "  You  are  very  amiable,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  but 
alas!  we  do  not  understand  the  birds,  nor  do  the 
birds  understand  us  —  and  I  want  so  much  to  know 
and  to  be  understood." 

He  — "  That  won't  take  long,  I  promise  you,  and 
it  would  be  a  shame  if  you  were  different.  I  have 
never  seen  a  girl  like  you  before.  You  are  like  a 
flower,  with  its  delicate  petals  just  opening, —  a 
wonderful,  lovely,  sensitive  flower.  If  I  was  only 
one-tenth  good  enough  for  you,  I  would  tell  you 
what  I  felt  the  first  time  I  saw  you,  and  how  I  feel 
now." 

We  were  silent  for  a  moment.     Was  this  a  decla- 


WEST  POINT  41 

ration,  and  what  should  I  answer  ?  I  felt  very  emo- 
tioned, and  very  timid,  but  as  I  glanced  at  him  he 
had  an  air  so  nice  and  manly,  and  I  liked  so  much 
his  American  uniform  that  I  thought  it  would  be 
well  to  encourage  him. 

I  — "  I  am  sure  there  can  be  nothing  bad  if  you 
tell  me  of  your  sentiments." 

He,  dropping  the  reins  and  turning  towards  me 

'  You  dear,  sweet  girl,  do  I  understand  you  will 
let  me  tell  you  that  I  love  you  ?  " 

I,  softly  — "  Yes." 

He—  'Yvonne.,  you  are  wonderful!  Do  you 
know  what  a  tremendous  thing  a  man's  love  is?  " 

I—  "But  no,  I  have  no  habit  of  such  things, 
and  Mr.  Lieutenant,  you  must  know  before  you  en- 
gage yourself  to  me-,  that  I  have  no  dowry." 

He  — "  All  the  better,  for  I  have  no  money  my- 
self, and  anyway  we  could  not  get  married  for 
years  and  years." 

I  — "  That  would  be  sad,  would  it  not  ?  " 

He  —  ''  Very  sad,  you  darling,  but  knowing  you 
cared  for  me  a  little,  I  could  wait  forever." 

I  — "  I  like  you,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  better  than  any 
other  young  man." 

He,  taking  my  hand  — "  My  sweetest  girl,  I  never 
thought  I  would  have  such  luck." 

I  —  "It  is  very  natural,  for  I  have  never  known 
a  young  man  before." 

He,  looking  pensive  — "  You  are  very  young  and 


42  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

very  inexperienced,  and  I  cannot  take  advantage  of 
this,  but  I  declare  I  love  you,  Yvonne,  and  I  will 
be  true  to  you,  and  try  to  be  worthy  of  you,  and 
if  after  you  have  seen  other  men — " 

I  — "  Oh,  but  I  shall  not  want  to  see  other  young 
men  now." 

He  — "  Yes,  you  must ;  it  would  not  be  fair  to 
you  if  you  did  n't,  and  the  deuce  of  it  is,  they  will 
all  admire  you,  and  tell  you  they  love  you,  they 
can't  help  it." 

I  — "  Oh,  but,  I  shall  not  let  them ;  and  then  after 
all,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  you  will  always  be  the  first." 

He—"  Call  me  Joe,  darling." 

I  — "  It  would  seem  to  me  not  natural." 

He,  tenderly  — "  And  won't  you  give  me  a  kiss, 
Yvonne?" 

I,  frightened  — "  Oh,  please,  Mr.  Lieutenant,  if 
you  do  not  mind  very  much,  I  should  like  to  wait 
till  we  are  married." 

He  — "  I  shall  not  ask  for  anything  you  do  not 
want  to  give  freely." 

(He  let  go  my  hand  and  took  the  reins,  for  the 
horse  was  eating  grass.) 

I  — "  Mr.  Lieutenant,  can  we  keep  our  betrothal 
a  secret  ?  " 

He — "  You  must  do  as  you  think  best,  dearest." 

I  — "  I  want  to  keep  all  alone  for  myself  the 
thought  that  someone  loves  me." 

He,  dropping  the  reins  and  taking  both  my  hands 


WEST  POINT  43 

— "  My  sweetest  girl,  you  cannot  understand  how 
much  I  love  you,  how  much  touched  I  am  by  your 
trust  of  me,  how  deeply  honored  by  your  affection, 
of  which  I  feel  so  unworthy  — " 

I,  proudly  — "  An  American  officer  is  worthy  of 
the  affection  of  any  young  girl." 

He  kissed  my  hands,  but  had  to  drop  them  quickly 
as  we  nearly  upset  in  a  ditch.  We  promised  to 
write  to  each  other  as  it  was  our  last  interview. 
I  am  sure  this  is  permitted  when  people  are  be- 
trothed. The  sun  was  down  when  I  returned  to 
the  house,  and  I  was  late  for  dinner. 

I  was  a  little  absent-minded  at  table ;  afterwards 
in  the  drawing  room  my  grandmother  called  me  to 
her.  The  lamps  were  not  yet  lit,  but  there  was 
enough  clarity  from  the  moon  to  see  the  face  of 
a  person.  I  took  a  footstool  and  sat  at  her  feet. 
I  was  a  little  fatigued  after  the  emotion  of  my  first 
proposal,  and  I  leant  my  head  against  her  knee 
while  she  stroked  my  hair.  Here  is  our  conver- 
sation : 

She  — "  You  are  leaving  me  to-morrow,  and  I 
shall  miss  you,  my  dear  Yvonne,  but  I  am  glad  that 
you  will  have  this  opportunity  to  see  a  lot  of  people 
in  general  before  you  make  up  your  mind  about 
people  in  particular." 

I  — "  Oh,  Grandmamma,  dearest,  I  am  so  sorry 
to  leave  you  and  everybody  here ;  I  should  love  well 
not  to  PXX" 


44  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

She  — "  You  have  seen  no  one,  my  child,  except 
a  few  officers  and  cadets,  and  their  lives  are  very 
narrow  ones;  the  same  round  of  military  duties 
here,  and  then  they  are  transported  to  distant  army 
posts,  where  the  only  excitement  is  catching  thiev- 
ing Indians." 

I  — "  But  is  not  to  be  a  soldier  the  most  glorious 
thing  a  man  can  be?  " 

She  — "  It  is  well  for  a  man  to  be  ready  to  fight 
for  his  country.  But  with  us  there  is  little  prestige 
and  much  hardship  in  the  military  life,  especially 
for  the  wife  of  an  army  officer,  unless  a  girl  has 
been  brought  up  in  that  milieu." 

I  — "  But  Grandmamma,  you  were  the  wife  of 
an  officer,  and  you  must  be  of  it  very  proud." 

She  — "  Yes,  my  child,  a  woman  is  proud  of  her 
husband's  achievements,  and  your  grandfather 
fought  and  died  in  a  noble  cause,  but  I  remained  a 
widow." 

I,  leaning  my  cheek  on  her  hand  — "  Will  you  tell 
me  about  my  grandfather?  " 

She  — "  Yes,  my  little  girl,  I  am  happy  to  talk 
of  him  to  you.  We  had  been  married  but  a  year 
when  the  war  broke  out,  and  your  grandfather  took 
command  of  a  regiment.  I  remained  with  him  in 
camp  as  long  as  he  drilled  his  soldiers,  and  when 
he  was  ordered  to  the  front,  we  had  to  part." 

I  — "  Oh,  dear  Grandmamma,  how  terrible  that 
must  have  been." 


WEST  POINT  45 

She  — "  We  never  met  again !  " 

I,  with  tears  in  my  eyes  — "  You  must  have  been 
in  despair." 

She  — "  At  first  I  thought  I  could  not  bear  it, 
yet  I  did,  but  how,  I  can  not  tell." 

I_«  And  my  father?" 

She  — "  He  was  a  baby.  I  tried  in  a  feeble  way 
to  replace  his  father.  I  learned  Latin,  and  Greek, 
and  Algebra  to  help  him  in  his  studies,  and  I  kept 
myself  well  informed  in  politics  and  business  mat- 
ters. It  did  not  occur  to  me  to  study  art,  and  on 
leaving  college  that  was  the  vocation  he  chose.  He 
went  to  France, —  I  was  advised  to  let  him  go  alone ; 
it  was  the  greatest  sacrifice  I  ever  made,  for  he 
begged  me  to  go  with  him.  He  passed  through  the 
art  schools  and  after  returning  home,  he  meant  that 
we  should  live  together,  but  he  became  engaged 
to  your  mother;  she  was  young  and  beautiful;  they 
went  to  Europe,  and  I, —  well  I  remained  alone 
once  more." 

I  — "  He  loved  you  tenderly,  dear  Grandmamma. 
When  I  was  a  little  girl  he  used  to  tell  me  of  you, 
I  can  remember ;  and  when  he  died  your  heart  must 
have  broken." 

She  — "  I  don't  know  if  the  heart  can  break  twice, 
but  I  felt  very,  very  lonely." 

I  — "  Oh,  poor,  dear  Grandmamma  !  " 

And  my  tears  did  begin  to  flow,  first  slowly  and 
then  I  sobbed  with  much  violence,  in  cause  of  her, 


46  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

and  a  little  in  cause  of  me,  for  I  could  not  prevent 
myself  to  think  of  Lieutenant  Hill,  which  redoubled 
my  emotion.  My  grandmother  was  so  tender  and 
gentle  and  tried  to  calm  me.  I  think  she  had  di- 
vined my  secret. 

She  — "  Hush,  my  little  Yvonne,  you  have  had 
an  unusual  day,  and  you  are  overwrought;  listen, 
my  child.  I  received  this  afternoon  a  letter  from 
your  mother." 

I,  ceasing  to  cry  — "  Oh,  really ;  what  does  she 
say?  Does  she  want  me  to  return?  Dear  Grand- 
mamma, do  not  send  me  back." 

She  — "  No,  my  child,  but  I  must  talk  to  you  as 
if  you  were  a  very  reasonable,  grown-up  person. 
Your  mother's  letter  is  about  business,  about  money 
matters." 

I  — "  About  my  dowry,  I  suppose." 

She  — "  Yes,  Yvonne,  you  have  guessed  rightly. 
Your  mother  is  not  able  to  provide  for  you  a  large 
dot,  and  she  asked  me  —  which  was  quite  proper  — 
what  I  was  willing  to  do  for  you." 

I  — "  Does  someone  want  to  marry  me  over 
there?" 

She  — "  Again  you  have  guessed  rightly,  and  I 
think  you  had  better  be  told  —  I  shall  read  you  the 
letter." 

(I  turned  on  the  electric  light.) 

She,  reading  — "  '  Dear  Mrs.  Carrington, —  I  am 
glad  to  hear  through  a  despatch  a  Mr.  Short  sent 


WEST  POINT  47 

me,  that  Yvonne  had  a  good  voyage;  she  was  so 
anxious  to  go  to  America,  and  I  hope  she  will  not 
be  too  much  care  for  you.  She  seems  young  for 
her  age  and  rather  etourdie;  however,  she  has  made 
her  debut  at  court,  and  I  must  consider  her  future. 
Prince  Ulrich  Weissenberg,  a  Hungarian  nobleman, 
saw  Yvonne  this  spring  and  he  fancied  her  very 
much.  His  aunt,  the  Dowager  Duchess  of  Krasi- 
bor,  approached  me  on  the  subject  of  Yvonne's  dot; 
she  was  also  kind  enough  to  say  she  had  noticed  the 
child  had  excellent  manners  without  a  tinge  of 
American  laisser-allcr;  I  must  ask  you  therefore 
very  frankly  whether  you  are  willing  to  settle  any 
sum  on  Yvonne,  and  what  dispositions  you  are 
thinking  of  making  in  the  future.'  (Interrupting 
herself) — "  Your  mother  is  quite  a  business 
woman."  (Reading) — "  '  At  present  I  feel  her  dot 
ought  to  be  in  proportion  to  her  husband's  posi- 
tion. Prince  Ulrich  Weissenberg  is  of  very  high 
birth,  connected  with  the  Austrian  Imperial  family, 
but  his  fortune  is  hardly  adequate  to  his  great  estate, 
and  a  rich  marriage  is  an  absolute  necessity.  He  is 
charming,  handsome,  and  tres-grand  seigneur.  I 
inquired  in  Berlin  of  his  doctor  —  who  is  also  mine 
—  concerning  his  health ;  the  answer  was  entirely 
satisfactory;  so  in  every  respect  my  husband  and  I 
think  he  is  a  very  desirable  parti,  and  I  am  told  he 
is  quite  epris  of  Yvonne.'  ' 

My  grandmother  stopped  reading. 


48  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

She  — "  What  are  your  recollections  of  Prince  Ul- 
rich  Weissenberg?  " 

I  — "  I  saw  him  three  times  at  Berlin,  but  he 
spoke  very  little  to  me,  only  paid  me  some  compli- 
ments on  my  dancing  and  riding;  that  is  all  I  re- 
member, for  of  course  we  were  never  alone." 

She — "If  you  cared  for  someone,  Yvonne,  I 
would  gladly  settle  a  sum  on  you  now ;  later  you 
are  the  only  one  to  inherit  what  I  have." 

I  — "  Oh !  please,  dear  Grandmamma,  write 
promptly  to  mamma  that  you  will  give  me  nothing, 
no  dowry.  I  don't  want,  in  fact  —  I  can't  marry  a 
European  now ;  I  can't  explain,  but  — " 

She  — "  Very  well,  my  child,  I  am  glad  you  feel 
this  way,  and  I  shall  write  in  such  a  manner  that 
this  healthy  Hungarian  nobleman  will  renounce  the 
hope  of  your  making  your  fortune  proportionate  to 
his  estate;  and  now,  little  girl,  it  is  late,  but  before 
you  go  to  bed  there  are  two  things  I  want  to  give 
you.  Here  is  a  cheque  book.  I  have  deposited 
some  money  for  you  on  which  you  can  draw,  and 
this  is  a  necklace  I  want,  you  to  wear  on  your  pretty 
neck." 

I  opened  the  white  velvet  box  and  saw  three 
beautiful  rows  of  pearls.  I  embraced  my  gran- 
mother  several  times,  my  heart  full  of  gratitude 
not  only  for  her  presents  but  for  her  love,  and  I 
told  her  I  never  wanted  to  go  back  to  Europe,  al- 


WEST  POINT  49 

though  it  must  be  my   fate  so  melancholy  in  less 
than  two  months. 

I  went  to  bed,  but  I  could  not  fall  asleep  for  a 
long  time,  my  head  was  full  of  all  species  of 
thoughts,  and  I  was  tormented  of  what  my  grand- 
mother said  of  our  officers  catching  robbing  Indians, 
but  I  am  glad  and  proud  that  an  American  loves 
me;  for  the  love  of  Prince  Ulrich,  I  do  not  care. 


NEWPORT 


VII 


JULY  9.     I  have  committed  a  great  thoughtless- 
ness on  my  voyage  yesterday,  and  it  torments 
me  much  to  think  of  it. 

I  left  my  grandmother  with  my  heart  very  big. 
I  love  her  more  than  any  one  in  the  world.  I  also 
thought  with  affection  of  the  officer  who  loves  me. 
Angelique  was  enchanted  to  go,  as  she  thinks  to 
find  herself  in  a  civilized  place1. 

In  New  York  Cousin  Henry  met  me,  which  I 
considered  not  at  all  necessary ;  he  procured  my 
tickets  with  the  recommendation  to  be  sure  not  to 
lose  them,  and  placed  us  in  a  long  compartment 
with  arm-chairs  for  each  person,  which  I  would  not 
have  known  to  find ;  so  after  all  there  are  two  classes 
in  American  trains;  it  is  not  as  Republican  as  I 
thought,  but  it  is  more  comfortable.  Cousin  Henry 
said  he  hoped  after  my  Newport  visit  I  would  visit 
at  Lenox  his  sister  Carolina;  he  explained  she  was 
a  maiden  lady  much  older  than  himself  who  pos- 
sesses a  lovely  house.  He  said  also,  he  would  try 
and  run  down  to  Newport  some  Sunday,  to  see  how 
I  was  getting  on.  He  treats  me  as  if  he  were  my 
guardian,  which  pleases  me  not  at  all. 

53 


54  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  observed  a  young  girl  in  our  compartment  trav- 
eling quite  alone  without  a  maid.  I  did  envy  her 
independence  and  to  have  no  Angelique  to  annoy  her. 

After  a  long  time  the  controller  came  for  my 
tickets;  I  could  find  them  nowhere,  nor  my  purse, 
either.  Naturally,  I  have  no  pocket  and  I  searched 
myself  everywhere,  in  my  belt,  my  sleeves,  inside 
my  bodice,  but  no,  there  was  nothing.  I  stood  up 
and  examined  my  chair.  I  overthrew  in  my  agita- 
tion everything  in  my  bag,  so  that  my  different  lit- 
tle objects  were  scattered  on  the  floor,  and  my 
sponge  rolled  down  the  corridor.  Everybody  was 
staring  at  me  and  I  became  more  and  more  red. 
Angelique  only  had  French  and  German  silver, 
which  the  controller  would  not  accept;  to  show  I 
was  not  a  thief  I  offered  him  my  jeweled  watch 
and  I  thought  of  my  pearls  concealed  from  view 
around  my  neck. 

When  all  of  a  sudden  a  gentleman  got  up  and 
making  me  a  very  polite  salute  said,  "  Allow  me 
to  pay  your  fare."  I  did  not  know  that  expression, 
but  understood  his  charitable  action  to  help  me  in 
my  distress.  I  told  him  my  destination  was  New- 
port and  so  he  paid  for  Angelique  and  me.  I  was 
all  confused  and  only  murmured  indistinctly  my 
thanks.  He  went  back  to  his  arm-chair,  which  was 
behind  mine;  another  gentleman  who  sat  opposite 
me  brought  me  my  sponge,  and  the  negro  porter 


NEWPORT  55 

rendered  me  my  pink  slippers  which  had  also  fallen 
from  the  bag. 

Angelique  in  a  loud  voice  to  show  each  one  what 
she  thought  of  my  conduct  said :  "  Je  pensais  bien 
que  Mademoiselle  ri  etait  pas  d'age  a  voyager  seule; 
que  dirait  Madame  la  Comtesse!  " 

I  found  my  arm-chair  could  turn ;  so  as  no  longer 
to  make  face  to  Angelique  I  revolved  it,  and  thus  I 
confronted  the  kind  gentleman  who  had  paid  my 
tickets.  To  hold  myself  in  countenance,  I  plunged 
myself  in  my  book, —  it  was  Rhodes'  History  of 
America,  Lieutenant  Hill  had  given  me  for  my  in- 
struction ;  there  are  three  volumes  in  my  boxes ;  they 
are  very  heavy. 

The  kind  gentleman  did  not  stare  at  me  as  I  was 
afraid  he  would,  but  only  smiled  in  a  sort  of  friendly 
recognition,  and  I  calmed  myself.  After  a  time, 
as  my  lecture  was  a  little  arid,  I  contemplated  the 
scenery;  it  was  in  truth  another  manner  of  studying 
America,  and  a  great  love  filled  me  for  my  own 
country ;  for  the  fields  through  which  we  were  run- 
ning, for  the  forests  so  uncultured,  for  the  sea  which 
arose  through,  wide  bays,  and  for  all  this  land  which 
was  mine,  because  it  was  America  and  I  am  Amer- 
ican. And  the  sky  appeared  to  me  more  blue  than 
elsewhere,  and  the  clouds  like  little  gay  sheep  play- 
ing, and  oh!  the  world  pleased  me  and  I  was  so 
glad  to  be  in  it.  I  think  it  also  made  me  happier 


56  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

to  know  I  was  so  aged  now,  that  two  men  did  love 
me,  even  if  one  was  only  an  Austrian.  My  re  very 
was  interrupted  by  a  loud  bang,  the  History  of 
America  had  fallen  to  the  earth. 

The  kind  gentleman  picked  it  up;  in  giving  it  to 
me  I  observed  what  a  nice  smile  he  had,  and  what 
a  good  look  in  his  eyes;  immediately  I  felt  I  could 
have  all  confidence  in  him,  and  thus  as  \ve  were 
traversing,  on  an  iron  bridge,  a  magnificent  river, 
I  said,  "  Pardon,  sir,  how  calls  itself  that  current 
of  water?  " 

He  answered,  "  The  Connecticut." 

I  thanked  him  and  explained  I  desired  to  know 
the  names  of  this  region  as  I  was  learning  both  the 
History  and  Geography  of  America;  he  told  me  so 
pleasantly  that  he  would  be  happy  to  answer  any 
questions  that  I  adventured  myself  to  inquire  about 
the  town  of  New  Haven. 

He  said :  "  It  is  principally  famous  on  account 
of  Yale." 

I  remembered  then  in  an  old  journal  to  have  read 
that  Yale  and  Harvard  were  to  have  a  race  at  New 
London,  so  I  asked  if  Yale  was  a  renowned  horse. 

He  said,  "  No,  it  is  a  college,"  and  was  so  kind 
as  not  to  even  smile  at  my  foolishness ;  he  explained 
to  me  it  was  a  University  like  Oxford  or  Cam- 
bridge; and  then  looking  at  me  again  said,  or  like 
Heidelberg  or  Jena,  so  he  perceived  I  was  like  a 
European,  at  which  I  could  not  help  sighing.  We 


NEWPORT  57 

continued  talking  a  long  time,  and  never  did  I  en- 
counter a  stranger  so  sympathetic.  I  could  not 
decide  to  myself  about  his  age;  he  had  such  serious 
eyes,  and  so  gay  a  smile ;  his  hair  was  brown ;  I 
noticed  he  had  long  aristocratic  hands,  and  his  voice 
and  pronunciation  were  more  English  than  those 
of  the  officers  at  West  Point. 

We  were  interrupted  by  a  negro  waiter  shouting 
through  the  train,  "  Last  call  for  dinner."  I  felt 
how  hungry  I  was,  and  I  asked  the  gentleman  if  the 
next  station  had  a  restaurant.  He  told  me  I  could 
dine  at  once  on  the  train.  Angelique  at  that  mo- 
ment spoke  to  me ;  she  must  have  been  asleep  to  have 
left  me  so  long  in  peace,  and  she  looked  scandalized 
to  see  me  in  conversation  with  a  gentleman.  I  has- 
tened to  silence  any  remark  by  saying  we  were  going 
to  lunch,  and  the  kind  gentleman  guided  us  to  the 
restaurant  of  the  train.  He  placed  us  at  a  little 
table,  and  then  left;  I  was  sorry  to  see  him  go,  and 
still  sorrier  when  I  returned  to  my  seat  to  find  his 
chair  empty,  and  his  coat  and  bag  gone. 

The  porter  came  for  me  when  we  reached  the 
Junction,  and  acted  as  a  sort  of  a  maid  in  brushing 
the  dust  off  our  clothes;  Angelique  was  very  gra- 
cious in  her  manner  to  him ;  I  told  him  I  was  sorry 
I  had  not  a  tip  for  him  as  I  had  lost  my  purse.  He 
grinned,  showing  very  white  teeth  :  "  That 's  all  right, 
Miss,  your  gentleman  friend  saw  to  tips  and  such 
like,  and  he  told  me  to  look  after  you." 


58  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

We  arrived  at  Newport  at  8  o'clock  as  the  train 
was  late.  I  was  surprised  to  see  such  a  dirty  little 
station,  as  I  thought  Newport  was  such  a  fashion- 
able place.  The  gentleman  who  had  picked  up  my 
sponge,  had  also  changed  at  the  Junction.  I  heard 
him,  to  my  surprise,  ask  for  Mrs.  King's  carriage. 
A  footman  came  up  and  said,  "  Here,  sir,"  and 
tnen  to  me,  "  Miss,  are  you  Miss  Carrington?  "  and 
on  my  saying  yes,  he  showed  me  to  a  limousine, 
where  I  found  my  traveling  companion  already 
seated. 

Angelique  had  to  go  in  a  carriage  with  the  boxes, 
and  on  this  occasion  she  did  not  dare  make  her 
objections.  The  gentleman  of  the  sponge  took  off 
his  hat  saying :  "  As  we  are  both  guests  of  Mrs. 
King,  allow  me  to  introduce  myself.  I  am  Hilliard 
Carrington." 

I  was  so  pleased  to  hear  my  own  name,  I  cried 
out,  "  So  am  I !  I  mean  I  am  Yvonne  Carrington." 

"  By  Jove,"  he  said,  "  I  might  have  guessed  it.  I 
used  to  hold  you  on  my  knee  when  you  were  a  kid 
in  Paris."  (How  curious  to  call  children  little 
goats. )  "  I  am  your  father's  cousin,  a  good  bit 
younger  than  he,  and  now  you  have  grown  up  to 
be  a  young  lady !  I  wish  I  had  only  known  when  I 
handed  you  your  sponge !  "  At  that  we  both  laughed 
and  were  like  good  friends;  but  the  next  minute 
my  laughter  was  dissipated. 


NEWPORT  59 

My  Cousin  Hilliard  asked :  "  Who  was  your 
friend  you  were  talking  to  in  the  train?  He  has 
a  fine  face.  I  have  seen  him  before." 

"  I  know  not  his  name,"  I  answered,  "  but  he  was 
very  kind  for  I  lost  my  purse,  and  he  paid  my  two 
tickets,  and  tipped  the  porter."  Then  it  suddenly 
occurred  to  me  for  the  first  time,  "  And  he  must  also 
have  paid  for  my  lunch." 

"  But  how  will  you  pay  him  back,  if  you  don't 
know  his  name?  " 

"  Oh,  my  God !  "  I  cried,  "  I  never  thought  of 
that!  It's  terrible!  I  shall  be  in  his  debt  all  my 
life." 

"  Never  mind,"  said  Cousin  Hilliard,  "  he  can 
probably  afford  it." 

"  Oh !  "  I  exclaimed,  "  I  had  not  thought  either 
of  that;  he  might  be  poor;  it  was  a  lot  of  money." 
I  was  very  unhappy  at  my  lack  of  mind  which 
Cousin  Hilliard  could  not  make  me  forget  by  his 
conversation. 

It  was  dark  as  we  drove  up  the  avenue.  I  could 
just  see  the  house  was  of  marble  or  granite,  which 
astonished  me,  as  I  expected  a  chalet  like  at  Trou- 
ville  and  other  sea-bath  places. 

I  had  not  seen  my  aunt,  Mrs.  King,  for  three 
years.  I  felt  excited  at  our  meeting,  but  she  was 
not  there  to  receive  us.  As  we  entered  the  hall, 
her  youngest  daughter  appeared  sliding  down  the 


60  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

banisters  of  the  stairs;  sitting  on  the  end  post  she 
called  out,  "  Mamma  and  Nancy  have  gone  out  to 
dinner  and  I  stayed  up  to  see  you." 

"  Hullo!  Miss  Mischief,"  said  Cousin  Hilliard. 

"  Hullo !  yourself,"  she  answered. 

"  Come  here,  kid,"  he  said,  "  I  have  brought  a 
pretty  French  cousin  with  me." 

She  came  forward  slowly;  I  thought  she  was 
about  twelve ;  she  was  a  handsome  child,  but  looked 
terribly  naughty;  instead  of  kissing  me  she  said, 
"  You  look  like  Romola." 

"  By  Jove,  you  do ! "  said  Cousin  Hilliard, 
"  that 's  what  puzzled  me  when  I  first  saw  you  — 

"  Do  you  like  horses?  "  asked  Mischief. 

"  Yes,"  I  answered. 

"  Can  you  ride  bare  back  ?  " 

"  I  have  never  done  it,  but  I  should  like  to  try." 

"  All  right,  to-morrow  then  we  '11  do  some 
stunts,"  and  she  fled  up  the  stairs. 

The  servants  took  me  to  my  room.  Cousin  Hil- 
liard and  I  dined  alone  together;  he  was  pleasant, 
but  I  remained  rather  silent.  I  think  I  was  tired, 
and  I  felt  a  little  lonely,  as  if  I  were  in  a  strange 
place,  among  strangers.  Thus  I  went  to  bed  early 
and  very  rapidly  fell  asleep. 


VIII 

JULY  Qth  —  continued.  It  is  now  evening.  I 
have  to  report  another  misadventure,  which  has 
rendered  me  all  confused.  I  must  first  say  that  I 
discovered  my  purse  in  the  bottom  of  my  box,  under 
my  dresses,  where  I  had  placed  it  so  as  not  to  lose 
it;  the  tickets  I  cannot  find. 

After  writing  my  memoirs  this  morning  and  just 
as  I  was  finishing  my  breakfast,  Mischief,  as  they 
call  her,  entered  my  room  like  a  tornado  and  said, 
without  wishing  me  good  morning : 

"  Hullo !  Yvonne !  Gee !  I  'm  glad  you  're 
dressed ;  come  and  try  my  pony.  I  've  two  tin 
trays;  we  can  slide  down  the  stairs." 

She  seized  my  hand,  and  down  the  stairs  we  did 
go  on  the  tin  trays  which  made  a  terrible  noise. 
Cousin  Milliard  came  out  of  his  room  in  his  panta- 
loons of  night,  to  see  what  it  did  mean,  just  as  I 
was  rolling  down  the  last  step,  and  fell  before  him, 
which  was  but  little  agreeable  for  me.  Mischief 
gave  me  no  time  to  explain,  not  even  to  breathe, 
and  dragged  me  after  her  to  the  stable.  There  we 
found  a  little  pony  with  only  a  bridle  on;  Mischief 
jumped  on  his  back,  and  called  me  to  follow.  I 

61 


62  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ran  after  her  to  a  paddock,  where  she  galloped 
about.  Then  I  tried  riding  bare  back,  and  I  tumbled 
off  several  times;  but  once  I  have  decided  to  do 
something,  nothing  can  resist  my  will.  Finally  I 
galloped  about,  holding  on  by  the  force  of  my  knees, 
and  when  I  at  last  jumped  off,  Mischief  flung  her 
arms  around  my  neck  and  said,  "  Gosh !  you  're  a 
corker!  and  I  love  you." 

I  felt  happy  to  be  loved  by  her,  although  she  is 
a  real  child-terrible.  It  made  me  also  joyful  to 
act  thus  in  a  youthful  manner:  to  run,  to  jump, — 
for  I  have  had  no  occasions  for  such  pastimes. 

Then  Mischief  and  I  ran  down  to  the  rocks.  We 
sprang  from  one  to  another  like  chamois;  I  wore 
no  hat  and  my  hair  unrolled  itself  on  my  back,  and 
when  we  went  in  wading,  Mischief  said  I  looked 
like  a  mermaid,  in  Rhinegold.  It  was  delicious  to 
feel  the  cool  water  on  my  feet.  As  we  were  play- 
ing about  so  happily  and  making  to  swim  pieces  of 
wood  as  boats,  we  suddenly  heard  voices  calling  us ; 
looking  up,  I  saw  standing  on  the  bank  Cousin 
Hilliard  and  a  young  girl. 

I  let  drop  all  my  skirts  in  the  water  and  Mischief 
said :  "  It 's  only  Nancy  and  old  Hilliard.  Don't 
pay  any  attention  to  them." 

I  remembered  Nancy  was  the  cousin  the  nearest 
to  my  age,  so  I  waved  my  hand  and  slipped  on  my 
shoes  to  scramble  over  the  rocks.  With  my  frock 


NEWPORT  63 

all  wet  and  crumpled  I  presented  a  disastrous  ap- 
pearance. Cousin  Milliard  laughed  much  when  he 
saw  me,  saying,  "  By  Jove,  you  looked  like  such  a 
sedate  young  lady  yesterday,  I  never  supposed  you 
would  turn  into  a  playmate  for  Mischief."  Nancy 
was  beautifully  dressed  as  if  she  were  going  to  an 
afternoon  reception;  she  kissed  me  as  if  she  thought 
I  was  a  dirty  beggar. 

"  The  carriage  is  at  the  door,"  she  said,  "  to  take 
us  to  Bailey's  Beach,  and  Mamma  wants  to  see  you, 
but  you  had  better  tidy  up  first." 

"  Golly !  You  bet  you  had,"  said  Mischief,  who 
had  joined  us ;  she  led  me  through  paths  unseen,  and 
hiding  behind  the  foliage,  we  climbed  through  a  win- 
dow into  Cousin  Hilliard's  room  and  went  up  the 
back  stairs  leaving  wet  traces  behind  us.  Angelique 
nearly  fainted  when  she  saw  me,  with  my  hair  un- 
done, nude  legs,  and  a  wet,  dirty  dress.  She  scolded 
the  entire  time  I  was  changed  from  an  untidy  child 
into  a  delicious  apparition,  in  pink  muslin,  with  a 
pink  hat,  white  shoes  and  white  gloves;  a  costume 
I  had  reserved  for  great  occasions,  but  which  only 
matched  Nancy's  morning  toilette.  My  hair  fortu- 
nately waves  of  itself,  so  it  only  took  me  a  few 
minutes  to  dress. 

Mischief  had  watched  my  transformation;  when 
it  was  accomplished  she.  said : — 

"Gosh!     You  are  just  the  beauti fullest  thing  I 


64  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ever  saw."  And  that  wild  little  girl  made  me  the 
most  graceful,  charming  courtesy,  and  quietly  she 
led  me  to  her  mother's  door. 

I  knocked  and  entered  Aunt  Marian's  boudoir. 
She  was  dressed  in  a  marvelous  white  lace  morn- 
ing gown ;  she  kissed  me  and  said : — 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  you,  Yvonne ;  you  have  changed 
very  much  in  three  years;  you  look  like  your 
mother:  the  same  golden  hair;  but  you  have  Car- 
rington  eyes,  and  perhaps  your  nose  is  like  your 
father's.  Where  did  you  get  that  dress,  Paquin  or 
Doucet?" 

I  told  her  it  had  been  made  in  Berlin,  so  she  no 
longer  examined  it  with  interest. 

She  resembles  my  mother;  her  manner  is  the 
same,  but  because  she  is  so  fat  her  movements  are 
slower;  she  must  be  at  least  ten  years  older,  and 
she  has  not  conserved  her  waist.  Our  effusions 
lasted  two  minutes,  and  then  I  left,  for  I  heard 
Nancy  calling  me  with  great  noise.  I  wonder  what 
my  step- father  would  say  if  he  had  heard  some  one 
screaming  through  the  house  in  that  manner. 

Nancy  at  first  did  not  recognize  me  and  Cousin 
Hilliard  made  some  flattering  remarks ;  then  we  all 
three  drove  to  the  bathing  beach,  so  soon  to  be  the 
scene  of  my  great  blunder. 

Nancy  said  the  maids  had  gone  ahead  with  our 
costumes.  It  came  to  my  mind,  I  had  no  peignoir, 
to  wear  to  the  edge  of  the  water,  but  Nancy  said 


NEWPORT  65 

in  America  nobody  wore  them,  and  I  was  glad  to 
think  in  my  country  nothing  was  considered  im- 
proper, because  people  had  such  a  pure  mind. 

Nancy  looks  terribly  blasee;  she  has  been  out  for 
two  seasons;  so  I  suppose  nothing  seems  new  to 
her;  she  bows  to  her  acquaintances  only  with  her 
eyelids. 

There  were  a  lot  of  carriages  waiting  in  a  semi- 
circle; as  we  alighted,  a  tall,  very  distinguished 
young  woman  came  towards  us,  and  Cousin  Hilliard 
looked  extremely  contented  to  see  her. 

"  This  must  be  little  Yvonne,"  she  said  and  took 
my  hand.  "  We  can't  kiss,  our  hats  are  too  big," 
and  then  staring  at  me  an  instant,  she  added,  "  You 
lucky  girl,  you  have  curly  hair." 

I  looked  a  little  bewildered  — 

"  I  am  your  cousin  Romola,"  she  exclaimed  laugh- 
ing. I  blushed  at  my  stupidity,  for  I  remembered 
the  oldest  of  my  aunt's  four  daughters  had  married 
the  Duke  of  Fairfield.  I  had  heard  my  mother  say 
she  was  very  fast ;  and  that  the  duke  was  very  dis- 
sipated, and  an  intolerable  creature,  and  if  he  had 
not  been  a  duke  she  would  have  divorced  herself 
of  him  long  ago,  but  I  don't  suppose  women  often 
divorce  themselves  from  dukes. 

"Hurry,"  she  said,  "you  are  late;  everybody  is 
in  already ;  I  am  only  looking  on  to-day,  for  I  have 
just  had  my  hair  crimped." 

I  found  Angelique  waiting  for  me,  and  I  was 
5 


66  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

soon  in  my  bathing  suit.  I  must  say  she  had  been 
very  successful;  it  looked  just  like  the  Comtesse  de 
Villars',  but,  alas !  if  I  had  only  known,  I  would  not 
have  admired  so  much  the  little  frilled  pantaloons 
that  came  down  half  way  to  my  knees,  and  the  little 
short  blouse  cut  square  at  the  neck,  all  in  sky  blue 
cachemire.  Angelique  had  even  procured  a  light 
blue  cap,  and  white  sandals  with  blue  ribbons ;  when 
she  is  pleased  at  her  own  success,  she  is  very  amiable 
and  she  made  me  compliments,  so  I  knew  my  cos- 
tume was  well  succeeded.  I  did  feel  a  little  strange 
as  I  stepped  from  my  cabin  to  walk  down  the  whole 
length  of  beach  without  a  wrap.  I  observed  to  my 
surprise  that  the  men  and  women  bathed  together, 
even  lying  all  of  their  length  on  the  sand ;  and  that 
women  wore  stockings,  which  must  be  most  uncom- 
fortable when  they  are  wet. 

I  knocked  at  Nancy's  door,  but  she  said  she  was 
not  half  ready  and  told  me  to  wait  for  her  in  the 
water;  so  I  walked  along  the  soft,  warm  sand,  where 
the  waves  rolled  over  my  feet;  they  seemed  to  be 
giving  me  little  caresses,  before  I  plunged  into  the 
great  big  embrace  of  the  sea. 

In  looking  back  for  Nancy,  I  noticed  the  people 
were  staring  at  me  terribly  and  even  whispered  to 
each  other,  which  I  thought  very  rude.  I  knew  no 
one.  Then  I  perceived  Romola  talking  to  several 
gentlemen;  she  had  her  back  to  me,  and  I  did  not 
dare  to  join  myself  to  her  group.  I  am  not  often 


NEWPORT  67 

really  shy,  but  I  did  feel  a  little  uncomfortable  and 
strange. 

I  passed  at  the  side  of  two  young  men;  I  heard 
them  speaking  French,  which  to  my  surprise  gave 
me  a  sensation  of  pleasure  and  familiarity. 

Cousin  Milliard  joined  me.  He  looked  me  over, 
frowning  a  little,  "  By  Jove,  Yvonne,  where  did  you 
get  that  costume  ?  " 

"  Angelique  made  it,"  I  said,  "  do  you  not  think 
it  pretty?" 

"  I  guess  abroad  it  would  be  all  right,  but  here  — 
well,  let 's  get  into  the  water." 

I  thought  Cousin  Hilliard  looked  a  little  red,  per- 
haps he  felt  the  heat  of  the  sun,  so  we  went  into 
the  waves  quickly,  and  oh !  it  was  delicious  to  plunge 
in  their  green  coolness.  Soon  I  saw  Nancy  appear 
followed  by  three  or  four  young  men. 

"  Nancy  is  very  popular  to-day,"  said  Cousin  Hil- 
liard, "  I  like  her  bathing  suit  immensely ;  you  ought 
to  have  one  just  like  it." 

"  But  no,"  I  said,  "  it  must  be  horrible  to  wear 
stockings  and  in  a  skirt  so  long  one  cannot  swim; 
and  that  I  do  wish  much  to  learn." 

Nancy  approached  us  looking  rather  cross. 

"  Everybody  is  asking  who  you  are,  Yvonne,"  she 
said,  "  is  your  bathing  suit  queer?  " 

"  Why,  no,"  I  answered,  "  it  is  like  the  Comtesse 
de  Villars'." 

Nancy  could  see  but  to  my  waist  and  had  no 


68  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

fault  to  find.  The  young  men  asked  to  be  presented 
to  me;  apparently  at  Newport  the  morning  bath 
is  a  ceremony  of  society  like  the  evening  ball.  I 
recognized  the  two  Europeans ;  they  were  presented 
as  Count  Janos  of  the  Austrian  embassy  and  Mar- 
quis de  Muy  of  the  French  embassy. 

I  asked  Nancy  if  there  was  a  swimming  master  I 
could  engage ;  she  said  none  was  to  be  had,  but  all 
the  young  gentlemen  very  kindly  offered  to  teach 
me,  and  so  I  did  sport  joyously  in  the  water  like  a 
dolphin,  and  I  learnt  very  quickly  to  float.  Nancy 
was  not  interested  in  my  swimming  lesson;  she 
looked  discontented  and  stayed  not  with  us.  Cousin 
Hilliard  I  saw  go  and  talk  to  Romola;  it  seems 
strange  to  me,  a  man  all  dripping  with  water  talking 
to  a  woman  beautifully  dressed. 

I  began  at  last  to  feel  cold  and  tired  and  came 
out  of  the  water.  Count  Janos  and  the  Marquis 
de  la  Muy  wanted  me  to  sit  myself  with  them  on 
the  warm  sand ;  they  said  all  the  ladies  did  it.  At 
that  moment  Romola  came  up  to  us;  they  bowed 
to  her,  but  she  paid  no  attention  to  them,  and  slip- 
ping off  her  wonderful  white  pongee  cloak,  all 
trimmed  with  lace  insertions,  she  put  it  over  my 
wet  bathing  suit. 

"  Come,  Yvonne,  you  look  cold,"  she  said  and 
took  my  hand.  I  was  surprised  at  first,  but  then  I 
suddenly  understood  from  her  expression  she 
thought  my  costume  was  immodest,  and  I  was  over- 


NEWPORT  69 

whelmed  with  shame!  At  the  door  of  my  cabin  I 
asked  Romola  to  come  in  and  with  my  voice  trem- 
bling I  said,  "  I  suppose  I  have  disgraced  you  all, 
and  myself  too  in  appearing  like  this  before  every- 
body; I  knew  not  what  people  wore  here,  and  this 
is  like  the  costumes  abroad ;  I  fear  it  has  even  shrunk 
in  the  water,  to  be  shorter  than  the  one  of  the  Com- 
tesse  de  Villars.  Oh !  why  did  I  ever  think  of  copy- 
ing it !  I  am  so  ashamed,  I  want  to  go  back  to 
grandmamma,  and  let  no  one  here  see  me  again." 

I  was  shivering  all  over  from  cold  and  shame. 
Romola  commanded  Angel ique  to  rub  me  down  as 
hard  as  she  could,  and  then  she  said  to  me  in  the 
kindest  way  imaginable : 

"  Nonsense,  Yvonne,  you  need  not  feel  so  badly ; 
it  was  only  a  mistake,  and  the  thing  for  you  now 
is  to  brave  it  out.  I  am  sure  you  are  not  a  coward. 
If  the  people  talk  a  little,  don't  pay  any  attention; 
women  always  love  to  say  disagreeable  things,  es- 
pecially when  they  are  envious.  Everybody  will 
consider  you  a  foreigner;  and  I  shall  see  to  it,  that 
no  unpleasant  remark  is  made.  To-morrow  you 
will  appear  with  me  in  our  conventional  bathing  suit 
with  stockings;  and  a  great  pity  it  will  be  too,  for 
you  looked  like  the  sweetest  and  prettiest  little 
Naiad." 

"  They  say  I  look  like  you,"  I  said  shyly. 

"  We  '11  call  it  a  compliment  to  us  both."  And 
she  kissed  me. 


70  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

When  I  was  dressed  she  walked  about  with  me  a 
little,  introducing  me  to  her  friends ;  then  she  drove 
me  home  in  her  dog-cart.  Oh !  she  is  so  charming, 
and  she  has  the  most  seductive  manners  I  have  ever 
seen. 

I  still  must  hope  my  compatriots  have  a  pure 
mind,  although  they  do  consider  a  European  bathing 
costume  improper. 


IX 


JULY  1 6th.  I  have  been  a  whole  week  in  a 
vortex  of  gaiety;  every  minute  a  new  delight, 
and  owing  to  Romola,  the  bathing  suit  episode  has 
passed  itself  without  bad  consequences.  This  morn- 
ing it  is  raining,  and  I  shall  devote  myself  to  my 
correspondence.  I  shall  copy  firstly  what  remains 
of  Lieutenant  Hill's  letter,  as  Nancy  came  to  my 
room  to  curl  her  hair  and  burnt  off  part  of  it  with 
her  tongs. 

"  My  sweetest  Yvonne, — 

"  I  can  hardly  believe  that  I  am  the  lucky  fellow 
who  is  engaged  to  you.  Night  and  day  your  lovely 
image  is  before  me;  I  wish  I  were  a  poet  or  a  great 
musician  to  find  in  some  beautiful  way  the  expres- 
sion of  all  my  love  for  you.  I  close  my  eyes  and 
I  see  before  me  the  deep  blue  eyes  with  their  dark 
eye-lashes,  the  golden  hair,  the  red  lips,  smiling  and 
sensitive,  of  my  beloved;  your  whole  face  where 
every  emotion  is  so  vivid;  the  charm  of  every  ges- 
ture, of  every  intonation.  You  sweet,  exotic 
flower!  how  do  I  dare  transplant  you  in  the  rough 
soil  of  my  unsettled  life.  My  Darling,  I  feel  so 


72  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

unworthy  of  you!  I  am  learning  French  so  that 
we  can  talk  together  in  that  delightful  language.  I 
long  for  you  unspeakably  — " 

The  rest  is  burned  and  I  have  no  remembrance  of 
the  words;  I  have  had  but  little  occasions  to  think 
of  my  Betrothed,  but  now  I  will  write  to  him : 

"  Dear  Mr.  Lieutenant, — 

"  Your  letter  so  tender  made  me  to  redden ;  you 
are  not  unworthy  of  me  I  am  sure,  so  torment  not 
yourself  with  that  idea.  Do  not  learn  French  for 
cause  of  me,  for  I  am  making  great  progresses  in 
English  and  I  prefer  to  speak  it  always.  Imitate 
my  example  and  seek  diversions,  for  then  you  will 
not  think  of  me  so  much  and  feel  longings ;  it  would 
be  misfortunate,  as  we  have  to  wait  so  long  to  be 
married,  if  you  were  unhappy  all  the  time.  I  leave 
you  now  as  I  must  write  to  my  grandmother.  Re- 
ceive, I  pray  you,  dear  Mr.  Lieutenant,  the  assurance 
of  my  very  good  friendship. 

"  YVONNE." 

My  letter  sounds  very  cold  in  comparison  with 
his,  but  a  young  girl  cannot  write  with  the  same  ar- 
dor as  a  young  man. 

"  Dearest  Grandmamma, — 

"  It  is  just  eight  days  since  I  left  you,  with  my 
heart  very  big,  but  so  many  new  things  have  sue- 


NEWPORT  73 

ceeded  themselves  with  so  much  rapidity,  that  I  feel 
I  have  lived  in  the  meantime  a  whole  little  life.  I 
lost  my  tickets  in  the  train,  and  my  purse  was  in 
my  trunk,  so  a  kind  gentleman  paid  for  me;  but  I 
stupidly  did  not  ask  his  name  to  repay  him,  although 
I  talked  with  him  a  long  time;  the  thought  of  it 
troubles  me  very  much. 

"  Cousin  Milliard  Carrington  came  with  me  here ; 
he  said  he  remembered  me  as  a  little  goat  in  Paris ; 
he  calls  also  Mischief  a  kid, —  that  is  a  strange  ex- 
pression, is  it  not?  Mischief  is  my  youngest 
cousin;  she  is  a  very  wild  child,  but  with  such  a 
warm  heart  she  has  quite  won  my  affection ;  every- 
body expects  her  to  be  naughty,  so  of  course  she 
is,  but  for  me  she  will  do  anything,  and  as  I  arise 
two  or  three  hours  before  the  others,  thus  we 
spend  the  early  mornings  together,  in  all  sorts  of 
childish  plays.  At  eleven  I  become  a  young  lady 
dressed  in  beautiful  clothes,  and  my  marvelous 
pearls  are  very  much  admired.  Nancy  made  me 
spend  a  lot  of  money;  she  said  I  was  fitted  out  like 
a  school  girl,  and  I  find  that  here  women  are  more 
distinguished  by  their  clothes  and  carriages  than  by 
anything  else.  Newport  is  a  very  gay  place ;  there 
is  something  going  on  every  minute;  and  at  night 
dinners  and  balls;  but  nobody  looks  very  animated 
or  as  if  they  enjoyed  it  much,  for  all  the  trouble  it 
costs. 

"  People  are  very  kind  to  me,  especially  the  gen- 


74  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

tlemen,  and  some  old  ladies  who  know  you,  and 
other  ladies  who  want  Mamma  to  be  polite  to  them 
abroad.  It  is  very  clear  to  observe  those  whose 
politeness  comes  from  the  heart,  and  those  who  use 
it  to  obtain  a  return  favor.  Aunt  Marian  is  very 
easy  to  live  with  because  she  is  quite  indifferent  to 
what  anybody  does;  the  one  I  love  best  is  Romola 
of  Fairfield.  She  is  very  beautiful,  and  distin- 
guished, and  elegant ;  although  she  seems  not  to  care 
for  anybody,  people  are  constrained  to  care  for  her. 
The  Duke  is  not  here.  Mischief  says  I  am  the  first 
young  girl  she  has  ever  taken  a  fancy  to,  because 
my  manners  are  quiet  and  I  do  not  ask  questions. 
This  pleases  me  much. 

"  I  think  young  girls  are  very  negligent  of  their 
behavior  and  they  are  not  taught  to  venerate  their 
elders.  Nancy  laughs  at  me  for  my  bows  and 
courtesies.  I  have  learnt  now  to  converse  with 
young  men  like  a  thing  all  natural,  and  I  often  have 
a  little  circle  around  me.  I  observe  also  the  young 
girls  shriek  very  much,  with  piercing  voices  that 
seem  quite  untrained ;  I  do  not  think  they  have  had 
lessons  of  deportment,  for  they  swing  their  arms, 
and  cross  their  legs  and  sit  down  all  in  a  heap.  I 
hope,  dear  Grandmamma,  you  do  not  think  me  un- 
patriotic to  make  these  remarks,  for  they  express 
more  surprise  than  blame. 

"  Lily  Stuart  has  invited  me  to  stay  with  her  at 
Bar  Harbor;  if  you  allow  me,  I  shall  accept; 


NEWPORT  75 

for  although  I  regret  infinitely  to  be  so  long  away 
from  you,  yet  I  want  to  see  as  much  of  America 
as  I  can.  I  hold  all  my  thoughts  of  the  future 
folded  around  me,  so  as  not  to  let  them  stray  to- 
wards the  terrible  moment  of  my  departure.  I 
knew  I  should  love  my  own  country  but  I  had  not 
awaited  to  enjoy  its  pleasures  so  enormously. 

"  Good-bye,  dearest  Grandmamma.  I  embrace 
you  with  the  tenderest  affection.  Your  loving  little 

"  YVONNE." 

"  ist  P.  S.  I  do  not  want  to  glorify  myself  of 
the  admiration  of  young  men,  and  I  must  tell  you 
that  unfortunately  Aunt  Marian  told  people  I  was 
an  heiress,  a  remark  I  regret,  but  know  not  how  to 
repair,  so  perhaps  that  is  why  the  gentlemen  sur- 
round me  in  circles.  I  discovered  also  Angelique 
was  interviewed  by  a  reporter ;  I  fancy  she  told  him 
all  sorts  of  stupidities  concerning  me. 

"  Y.  C." 

"  2nd  P.  S.  I  forgot  to  tell  you  Uncle  John 
arrived  yesterday;  I  had  thought  he  was  dead,  for 
Aunt  Marian  brings  him  not  abroad  with  her,  and 
nobody  had  ever  spoken  of  him.  He  is  kindly, 
and  very  bald,  and  smoked  all  the  time  in  the  li- 
brary ;  Mischief  was  the  only  one  who  caressed  him. 
How  astonished  my  step- father  would  be,  to  see 
that  the  chief  of  the  house  was  always,  so  to  say, 
put  at  the  foot  of  the  table. 


76  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  With  one  more  kiss,  dear  Grandmamma,  I  must 
close  at  last,  this  very  long  letter. 

"  Your 

"  YVONNE." 


X 


JULY  23rd.  For  a  whole  week  I  have  not  writ- 
ten in  this  little  book,  and  yet  I  could  fill  pages 
with  things  most  interesting,  which  have  arrived 
to  me. 

Uncle  John  disappeared  this  morning  without  the 
household  being  gathered  together  to  bid  him  good- 
bye, as  we  always  do  when  my  step-father  departs. 
In  America  no  ceremonies  are  practised  to  increase 
the  importance  of  little  events,  as  is  the  habit  in 
Germany,  and  yet  I  see  no  great  love  of  simplicity; 
at  least  not  at  Newport,  where  everything  is  so 
elaborate,  and  it  is  thought  necessary  to  spend  much 
money  for  a  little  amusement;  thus  I  am  rendered 
perplexed  by  contradictions  I  do  not  understand. 

Evelyn,  my  aunt's  second  daughter  has  been  here 
for  a  few  days ;  she  is  so  full  of  contradictions  that 
I  am  lost  in  deciphering  them.  She  is  no  longer 
very  young;  she  is  twenty-three,  and  looks  more 
like  Nancy  than  like  Romola  or  Mischief,  who  both 
have  red  brown  hair;  she  is  tall,  and  thin,  and 
blond;  she  told  me  that  after  four  years  of  society 
she  got  sick  to  death  of  it,  and  took  up  Settlement 

77 


78  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

work  in  New  York;  there  she  lives  among  the  in- 
ferior classes,  but  I  notice  she  has  not  attained  that 
happy  expression  of  peace  one  sees  in  nuns'  faces. 
She  is  very  fatigued  at  present  and  lies  down  all  the 
time.  I  supposed  as  she  had  given  up  her  life  to 
the  poor  for  love  of  charity,  she  would  try  and  make 
Mischief  happy  and  show  her  tenderness;  but  no, 
she  hardly  allows  her  in  the  room,  for  she  says 
Mischief  is  so  noisy,  she  makes  her  head  ache. 

The  different  members  in  families  here  are  very 
independent  of  each  other,  and  don't  stick  together 
all  the  time  as  they  do  in  Europe;  they  never  invite 
to  dinner  parents  and  children,  or  brothers  and  sis- 
ters, and  yet  it  is  not  because  they  have  quarreled. 
Oh!  no,  they  simply  prefer  a  society  occasion  to  be 
very  formal,  not  a  reunion  of  intimates. 

Evelyn  likes  me  to  read  to  her  in  French,  and  to 
stroke  her  forehead ;  she  says  I  have  a  soothing 
touch.  When  she  has  rested  herself  a  little  she  is 
going  to  a  Settlement  in  Boston,  and  has  invited  me 
to  stay  with  her  for  a  day  or  two  on  my  return 
from  Bar  Harbor;  this  I  shall  do,  as  I  want  to  see 
all  the  sides  of  American  life,  but  I  do  not  wish  to 
dwell  long  among  the  poor  as  I  am  not  at  all  sick 
of  society. 

The  one  person  here  who  likes  me  not  is  Nancy. 
Mischief  says  she  has  a  beastly  nature  and  that  she 
is  jealous  of  me.  Apparently  the  Marquis  de  Muy 
and  Count  Janos  have  paid  less  attention  to  her  since 


NEWPORT  79 

I  came,  but  it  is  not  of  my  fault,  but  I  have  done  no- 
thing to  seduce  them. 

Yesterday  morning  was  Sunday,  and  no  one  went 
to  church.  It  was  raining  in  torrents  when  Count 
Janos  called.  He  wished  also  to  follow  the  Ameri- 
can custom  of  going  in  pairs,  and  as  Nancy  was 
executing  some  music  in  the  drawing  room,  and 
Romola  and  Cousin  Hilliard  were  in  the  library, 
Evelyn  lying  down  in  the  morning  room,  and  Mis- 
chief sliding  down  the  banisters  in  the  hall,  Count 
Janos  persuaded  me  to  go  to  walk  with  him.  I  am 
never  afraid  of  the  bad  weather,  thus  we  went.  He 
is  very  amusing;  we  talk  French  or  German,  in 
which  languages  I  fear  I  am  more  at  my  ease  than 
in  my  maternal  tongue.  We  walked  along  the  cliff 
path,  and  took  refuge  from  the  storm  under  an 
enormous  rock.  The  waves  were  gigantic,  and 
sprang  towards  us  as  if  to  seize  us ;  it  is  thrilling  to 
watch  the  mass  of  green  waters  rise  and  roll  over 
into  glistening  foam.  Oh,  I  do  so  love  the  sea,  I 
would  like  to  be  a  mermaid,  and  plunge  and  play  in 
its  depths. 

My  hands  being  cold  and  wet  I  took  off  my  gloves. 
Count  Janos  warmed  them  by  holding  them,  and 
then  he  kissed  my  fingers.  I  cannot  think  there  was 
harm  in  that,  although  perhaps  Mr.  Lieutenant  might 
not  like  it ;  but  I  reflect  I  have  not  yet  given  him 
my  hand  in  marriage,  thus  my  fingers  are  still  my 
own.  Count  Janos  said  he  would  like  to  marry  a 


80  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

sweet,  American  young  girl,  and  I  said  I  hoped  he 
would,  just  as  I  wished  to  marry  a  nice  American 
man.  He  looked  annoyed  at  my  answer,  and  said 
I  was  an  exasperating  flirt;  that  all  American  girls 
were  flirts,  and  yet  that  Europeans  were  always  fall- 
ing in  love  with  them.  I  said,  "  Is  it  not  our  dow- 
ries which  Europeans  love  ?  " 

He  answered,  "  We  love  no  more  your  dowries, 
than  you  do  our  titles."  Our  talk  seemed  to  grow 
a  little  acid  so  I  asked  him  for  one  of  his  funny 
stories,  and  our  good  humor  was  thus  restored. 
On  the  way  home  he  told  me  that  he  had  just  re- 
ceived a  letter  from  a  cousin  of  his  —  Prince  Ulrich 
of  Weissenberg  —  who  was  on  his  way  across  the 
ocean,  to  persuade  an  American  girl  to  marry  him. 
This  news  did  stupefy  me,  but  as  Mischief  says, 
I  am  a  sport,  and  I  love  excitement  even  when 
it  is  somewhat  perilous;  it  will  be  altogether  for- 
midable to  refuse  Prince  Ulrich  face  to  face. 

On  returning  to  the  house,  Count  Janos  and  I  en- 
tered the  hall ;  there  to  my  surprise  and  annoyance  I 
saw  Cousin  Henry  Short.  The  family  were  in  the 
hall,  where  they  assemble  when  it  arrives  by  ex- 
traordinary that  they  are  ready  for  the  repasts, 
otherwise  here,  one  waits  for  nobody. 

Cousin  Hilliard  cried  out,  "  Well,  Yvonne,  here  's 
another  cousin  come  to  see  you." 

I  shook  hands  with  Cousin  Henry  who  gazed  at 


NEWPORT  81 

me  with  a  searching  and  unpleasant  stare;  but  I 
quickly  escaped  myself  to  change  my  wet  clothes. 
They  were  all  at  table  when  I  descended  and  I  found 
my  place  was  next  to  Cousin  Henry,  but  I  talked 
mostly  to  my  other  neighbor.  Cousin  Henry  said 
he  must  speak  to  me  alone  for  a  moment,  so  after 
the  coffee  we  went  to  a  little  parlor,  my  curiosity 
awakened  to  know  what  he  wanted  of  me. 

With  a  dramatic  gesture  he  handed  me  a  cutting 
from  a  journal,  where  I  saw  to  my  surprise  my 
own  picture,  taken  from  a  photograph  made  when 
I  first  came  to  Newport. 

"  Read  that !  "  said  Cousin  Henry  with  ferocity 
in  his  tone. 

I  read:  "Miss  Yvonne  Carrington,  a  debutante 
fresh  from  Europe,  with  all  the  flavor  of  the  old 
world  added  to  her  very  modern  charm,  has  dazvned 
on  Newport  society.  Her  debut  was  at  Bailey's 
Beach,  where  she  took  the  elite  by  storm,  as  rising 
like  Venus  from  the  waves,  the  risque  scantiness 
of  her  costume  recalled  the  far-famed  sights  of  the 
beaches  of  Trouville  and  Ostcnd.  It  is  rumored  that 
this  bewitching  ingenue  who  is  connected  with  the 
highest  insular  and  continental  nobility,  and  already 
presented  in  imperial  circles,  is  soon  to  have  her  fair 
locks  adorned  by  a  prince's  coronet.  .  .  ." 

I  crushed  the  paper  in  my  hand ;  my  face  covered 
with  redness. 
6 


82  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Cousin  Henry  said,  "  I  am  glad  to  see  you  can 
blush :  what  explanation  have  you  to  give  to  this 
outrageous  article  ?  " 

"  None  to  you,"  I  answered,  "  for  it  was  out- 
rageous for  you  to  show  it  to  me,  and  I  shall  never 
speak  to  you  again."  With  my  head  very  high  I 
traversed  the  room,  but  he  seized  my  arm. 

"  What  is  this  allusion  to  a  prince  ?  At  West 
Point  you  got  involved  in  some  sort  of  flirtation, 
with  a  half-baked  officer.  I  suppose  here  you  have 
got  engaged  to  one  of  these  foreign  monkeys !  " 

I  saw  the  ugly  gleam  of  jealousy  in  his  eye ;  free- 
ing my  arm  I  left  the  room  without  answering  him, 
and  locked  myself  into  my  own  chamber. 

My  spirit  was  filled  with  disgust;  all  my  pleas- 
ure, my  happiness  did  faint  away;  I  had  begun  to 
forget  my  misfortunate  bathing  suit,  and  to  have 
this  vile  paper  publish  in  America  that  story,  the 
rest  of  which  was  supplied,  no  doubt,  by  the  bab- 
blings of  Angelique!  I  was  too  angry  to  cry,  I 
should  like  to  have  screamed. 

Mischief  came  to  the  door  and  said,  "  Mr.  Short 
wants  to  speak  to  you." 

"  Tell  him,"  I  cried,  "  I  shall  never  speak  to  him 
again;  I  hate  him." 

"  I  am  so  glad,"  Mischief  called  back,  "  I  hate 
him  too." 

And  I  could  hear  her  run  down  the  stairs  where 
she  gave  my  message  as  I  said  it. 


NEWPORT  83 

All  the  afternoon  I  remained  obstinately  alone, 
till  finally  Evelyn  plaintively  asked  me  to  rub  her 
head,  so  I  let  her  in;  when  she  saw  how  emotioned 
I  was,  she  was  very  kind  to  me,  and  forgetting 
her  headache,  she  made  me  tell  her  the  sad  history 
of  my  bathing  costume. 

"  Don't  bother  about  it  any  more,"  she  said,  "  we 
never  pay  attention  to  what  the  newspapers  say, 
especially  a  yellow  journal  like  that,"  and  she 
smoothed  out  the  paper,  but  I  could  not  see  that  it 
was  yellow. 

Then  she  suddenly  became  absorbed  in  reading 
the  article,  and  I  was  pleased  she  showed  me  so 
much  interest.  I  bent  over  her  shoulder  to  look 
at  it  again,  when  to  my  surprise,  I  saw  that  she 
was  reading  the  reverse  side,  where  there  was  the 
portrait  of  a  man.  It  was  the  face  of  the  kind 
gentleman  in  the  train,  and  Evelyn  was  reading 
with  avidity  the  lines  beneath  his  picture;  the  top 
part  of  the  article  had  been  cut,  and  there  was  no 
name. 

Evelyn  suddenly  exclaimed,  "  It  is  an  outrage 
to  publish  such  things ;  the  cur  who  wrote  this  ought 
to  be  whipped !  " 

I  had  never  seen  Evelyn  so  indignant;  I  did  not 
know  she  could  ever  be  so  aroused. 

"  But,"  I  said,  "  you  have  not  read  what  concerns 
me!" 

She   was   quite   embarrassed,    and    for   the    first 


84  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

time  she  hastily  glanced  at  my  portrait  and  at  the 
villainous  remarks. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  she  observed  quite  indifferently,  "  that 
is  just  silly  nonsense,"  and  she  prepared  to  quit  the 
room. 

"  Please,"  I  said,  "  give  me  back  the  cutting." 

"  Oh,  no,  my  dear,"  said  Evelyn,  "  I  have  a  special 
reason  for  wishing  to  keep  it." 

"  And  I  have  two  special  reasons  for  wanting  it," 
I  said.  "  Give  it  back  to  me." 

I  then  noticed  Mischief  had  slipped  into  the  room, 
and  was  watching  us  with  much  curiosity;  I  did 
not  want  to  make  a  scene,  but  I  wanted  that  cutting, 
which  belonged  to  me,  and  I  could  not  understand 
why  Evelyn  was  so  determined  about  a  thing  which 
concerned  her  not. 

"  Yvonne,"  she  said,  "don't  make  a  fuss ;  I  am 
much  older  than  you,  and  my  reasons  are  better 
than  yours,  so  we  shall  discuss  this  no  longer,"  and 
she  went  towards  the  door.  I  felt  a  sudden  anger 
ascend  to  my  brain :  — 

"  Evelyn,  you  shall  not  leave  here  with  that 
paper ;  you  are  very  strange ;  you  have  contradicted 
yourself  —  firstly  by  saying  that  article  concerning 
me  was  of  no  consequence,  and  secondly  by  saying 
that  what  was  written  on  the  other  side  was  an  out- 
rage." 

"  You  little  fool,"  said  Evelyn  angrily  and  tried 
to  pass  me. 


NEWPORT  85 

At  that  moment  Mischief  seized  the  paper  from 
Evelyn's  hand  and  cried  out  triumphantly  — 
"  Stung!  There  Yvonne  is  what  belongs  to  you; 
Evelyn  sha'n't  treat  yon  as  if  you  were  one  of  her 
paupers,  who  has  to  obey  her." 

I  saw  Evelyn's  hand  rise  as  if  she  were  going  to 
slap  Mischief;  then  it  dropped  to  her  side,  and  she 
left  the  room. 

I  was  sorry  Mischief  had  been  so  rude,  and  I 
told  her  so  as  she  gave  me  the  paper ;  but  she  threw 
her  arms  around  my  neck,  and  embraced  me  with  all 
her  strength. 

'  You  sha'n't  be  angry  with  me,  you  darling," 
she  cried,  "  for  I  have  only  you  to  love.  Evelyn 
has  the  temper  of  a  turkey,  and  everyone  else  is 
horrid  to  me  except  you.  They  all  think  I  am  bad, 
and  nobody  likes  to  have  me  near  them.  To-mor- 
row you  are  going  away  to  Bar  Harbor,  and  my 
heart  will  break." 

She  nearly  strangled  me,  and,  bursting  into  sobs, 
she  fled  from  the  room.  I  love  Mischief,  and  I 
wish  the  others  loved  her  too,  but  I  have  never  seen 
such  different  characters  as  those  of  my  aunt's  four 
daughters. 

Angelique  appeared  to  dress  me,  as  there  was  a 
big  dinner  at  home  that  evening,  and,  even  torn  as 
I  was  by  different  emotions  so  varied,  I  did  not 
wish  to  miss  it.  She  talked  a  great  deal  while  she 
did  my  hair ;  said  she  had  had  a  letter  from  Fraiilein 


86  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

a  few  days  ago,  and  that  everyone  hoped  I  should 
return  to  Europe  and  marry  a  nobleman,  like  my 
cousin  Madame  la  Duchesse.  I  concluded  from  her 
remarks  that  Fraiilein  had  been  listening  behind 
the  doors,  as  I  once  caught  her  doing,  and  that  it 
was  through  Angelique  that  the  rumor  had  cir- 
culated of  Prince  Ulrich's  intentions.  I  disdained 
to  reprove  her ;  the  evil  was  done,  and  there  is  no 
use  in  bleeding  a  dead  man. 

While  she  talked,  I  smoothed  out  the  crumpled 
paper,  and  I  succeeded  in  making  it  flat.  I  looked 
long  at  the  portrait  of  the  gentleman,  who  had  been 
so  kind  to  me;  I  noticed  what  a  strong,  fine  visage 
he  had,  and  these  were  the  words  written  beneath 
the  picture,  the  continuation  of  what  was  missing 
above : — "  as  the  habit  is  now  of  rich  financiers  to 
advertise  themselves  through  philanthropic  schemes. 
This  ne^v  reformer,  with  his  Sanitarium  in  the  Berk- 
shire Hills,  side  by  side  with  his  stock  farm,  both 
conveniently  situated  to  combine  charity  with  gaiety, 
draws  attention  to  the  gifts  his  left  hand  bestows, 
which  overshadows  the  source  of  wealth  from  wJiicJi 
his  right  hand  is  draw'ing  — " 

I  did  not  understand  what  this  meant,  but  I  saw 
it  was  spiteful,  and  I  wished  his  name  had  been 
there.  As  I  was  all  dressed,  ready  to  descend, 
Evelyn  entered  the  room.  She  looked  more  pretty 
than  I  had  ever  seen  her,  with  quite  a  little  color 


NEWPORT  87 

in  her  cheeks;  she  wore  a  beautiful  dress;  she  held 
out  her  hand  to  me  :  — 

"  Forgive  me,  Yvonne,  for  having  lost  my 
temper;  I  have  a  very  quick  one,  which  I  try  to 
control,  but  sometimes  it  still  gets  the  better  of  me." 

I  kissed  her  and  said,  "  Dear  Evelyn,  do  not 
speak  of  it  again,  and  if  you  really  want  the  paper 
so  much,  you  can  have  it." 

"  Thank  you,"  she  said,  and  a  little  to  my  sur- 
prise she  calmly  took  it. 

"  What  is  the  name,"  I  asked,  "  of  the  man  whose 
portrait  interests  you  so  much  ?  " 

"  Oh !  "  she  said  lightly,  "  it  is  someone  with 
whom  I  have  been  associated  in  charity  work;  but 
come,  dinner  is  ready.  I  heard  some  of  the  guests 
arriving." 

I  had  no  further  chance  to  question  her  and  soon 
forgot  this  episode  in  the  gaiety  of  the  dinner, 
where  I  let  myself  go  very  freely  to  the  animation 
of  conversation ;  I  received  many  compliments 
which  tickled  my  ear  agreeably.  Oh!  it  is  so  good 
to  be  young  and  to  find  people  appreciative ! 


BAR  HARBOR 


XI 


JULY  28th.  One  cannot  write  with  facility, 
when  all  one's  time  is  addicted  to  pleasure. 
But  this  morning  Lily  Stuart  is  in  bed  with  a  head- 
ache, thus  I  have  a  few  moments  to  consecrate  my- 
self to  my  Memoirs. 

My  voyage  to  Bar  Harbor  was  without  incidents ; 
it  was  the  first  time  I  traveled  by  night  in  an  Amer- 
ican train.  I  could  not  secure  a  stateroom,  so 
Angelique  and  I  had  two  beds  over  each  other. 
Me,  the  upper  one,  as  I  am  the  most  agile  in  climb- 
ing. Angelique  was  scandalized  that  people  re- 
moved their  clothes  so  publicly,  but  I  told  her  that 
every  land  had  different  opinions  of  decency.  She 
undressed  herself  not  at  all,  and  thus  conserved  her 
own  modesty ;  I  slept  very  well  and  only  regretted 
not  to  have  studied  more  my  country's  scenery. 
There  was  a  great  deal  of  fog  in  crossing  to  the 
island;  therefore,  my  first  impression  of  Mt.  Desert 
was  vague.  Angelique  managed  to  be  ill  three 
times, —  she  says  just  the  aspect  of  a  boat  turns  her 
stomach.  I  left  her  alone,  as  I  do  not  think  that 
sea-sickness  calls  forth  sympathy. 

Lily  Stuart  met  me  at  the  quay ;  it  is  a  very  ugly 
one  and  I  am  surprised  that  the  entrances  to  our 

91 


92  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

fashionable  places  have  so  little  a  smiling  aspect. 
We  drove  to  the  Stuart's  country  estate,  where 
Mrs.  Stuart  greeted  me  with  a  warm  welcome, 
which  did  please  me ,  much.  Lily  says  Philadel- 
phians  are  nearly  always  amiable;  I  should  like  to 
reside  in  that  city. 

I  am  so  very  happy  here  that  I  nearly  lose  the 
desire  to  be  with  my  dear  grandmother;  we  do 
not  whirl  about  like  at  Newport  from  one  distrac- 
tion to  another ;  thus  we  have  a  little  time  to  reflect 
and  to  know  we  are  amusing  ourselves. 

We  breakfast  all  together  at  nine,  and  Mr.  Stu- 
art, although  he  assumes  not  the  dominating  posi- 
tion of  master  of  the  household,  yet  is  loved  as 
a  husband  and  a  father,  unlike  poor  Uncle  John, 
who  seemed  to  produce  a  family  only  for  their  own 
pleasure,  not  for  his. 

Mr.  Stuart  does  not  have  a  chance  to  talk  very 
much;  for  Mrs.  Stuart  is  so  bright  and  amusing 
one  wants  to  listen  to  her  all  the  time.  Lily  and 
her  little  brother  Tom  have  also  perfect  freedom 
to  converse.  Mrs.  Stuart  is  very  stout,  and  all 
her  person  seems  to  contain  kindliness  and  mother- 
liness,  as  if  it  overflowed  to  everyone,  beyond  the 
natural  evidence  of  her  love  for  her  two  children. 
It  must  be  very  wonderful  to  have  such  a  mother ! 

I  like  Tom  very  much ;  he  is  ten,  and  is  ten  years 
younger  than  Lily.  He  is  a  very  interesting  boy. 
He  adores 'music  and  animals;  his  pockets  are  al- 


BAR  HARBOR  93 

ways  full  of  beetles,  frogs,  rats,  snakes  and  worms. 
He  tries  to  educate  them,  and  gives  them  Bible 
names;  the  more  beautiful  names  to  the  ugliest 
creatures,  as  a  sort  of  compensation.  His  favorite, 
a  big  toad,  he  calls  Israel  for  he  is  the  father  of 
many;  Jacob  and  Rebecca  are  two  earth  worms; 
Solomon,  a  very  fat  guinea  pig,  who  seems  to  have 
a  large  number  of  companions;  a  tame  crow  he 
calls  John  the  Baptist,  for  he  has  a  voice  like  one 
crying  in  the  wilderness;  and  a  long,  black  snake 
he  calls  Moses,  for  he  makes  frogs  and  insects  to 
disappear  like  the  Egyptian  Plagues.  He  loves  to 
have  me  play  or  sing  to  him,  and  sits  perfectly 
quietly  all  the  time  the  music  lasts.  He  draws 
wonderfully  well,  and  likes  to  design  his  animals 
in  all  sorts  of  positions ;  he  has  made  a  little  theatre 
where  two  little  mice  perform  tricks.  In  the  gar- 
den he  has  a  small  house  where  he  keeps  his  pets; 
he  calls  it  Noah's  Ark,  for  there  are  many  animals 
within;  birds,  four-footed  beasts  and  creeping 
things.  I  have  difficulty  to  overcome  my  repulsion 
to  insects  when  I  enter  it  to  please  him,  and  it 
does  not  smell  agreeably.  As  he  and  I  arise  earlier 
than  the  others,  I  often  spend  an  hour  with  him 
before  breakfast  as  I  did  with  Mischief;  we  also 
ride  horses  unsaddled. 

Poor  little  Mischief!  I  had  a  desolate  letter 
from  her  yesterday  which  I  copy,  for  I  was  touched 
thereby. 


94  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

MISCHIEF'S  LETTER. 

<c  Darling  Yvonne, — 

"  You  are  gone  three  days,  and  three  nights  I 
have  cried  myself  asleep.  I  love  you  so  as  I  can 
never  love  any  one  else.  I  sit  in  your  room  and 
try  to  imagine  you  are  there.  I  kiss  your  pillow 
and  long  for  you  until  my  heart  feels  like  a  squeezed 
orange.  I  am  very  bad  since  you  went,  so  every 
one  hates  me  more  than  ever.  My  new  governess 
has  arrived.  I  loathe  her.  Please  get  married 
quick;  you  love  America  so  much  you  ought  to 
be  able  to  love  an  American,  and  every  one  loves 
you,  except  Nancy  —  but  then  she's  the  limit !  The 
Marquis  is  devoted  to  her  again  since  you  left. 
If  you  marry,  and  you  can  bear  to  have  me,  I  will 
come  and  live  with  you.  I  should  be  so  happy, 
I  should  be  very  good,  and  I  would  play  with  your 
little  children.  So  please  make  haste  for  I  am  very 
miserable. 

"  Evelyn  had  a  gentleman  stay  with  her ;  a  per- 
fect corker;  he  was  only  here  one  night,  and  he 
talked  to  me  before  dinner,  so  I  showed  him  your 
photograph;  he  was  awfully  interested,  asked  a 
lot  of  questions  and  wanted  to  know  just  the  day 
you  came  here.  I  said  you  beat  all  my  sisters 
hollow,  even  Romola.  I  heard  them  say  he  was 
an  old  beau  of  hers.  She  wore  her  duchess  tiara 


BAR  HARBOR  95 

the  other  night  at  a  ball  given  here  for  a  German 
Prince,  a  friend  of  Count  Janos;  she  looked  stun- 
ning. As  I  was  looking  over  the  stairs  I  heard  Hil- 
liard  Carrington  tell  her  under  a  palm  he  loved 
her.  She  took  it  very  calmly,  and  called  him  poor, 
dear  old  Milliard,  and  he  went  on  making  goo-goo 
eyes  at  her,  like  that  cousin  of  yours,  Mr.  Short, 
made  for  you.  Gosh !  he  was  fierce ! 

"  Count  Janos  saw  me  on  the  stairs  and  brought 
me  an  ice.  He  said  he  was  going  to  Bar  Harbor 
with  his  friend,  and  wanted  to  know  if  I  had  a 
message  for  you.  I  said  no  one  was  strong  enough 
to  carry  all  the  weight  of  my  love  to  you.  He 
laughed  and  told  me  to  go  on  loving  you,  and  when 
I  was  grown  up  he  would  come  and  marry  me  him- 
self. O !  dearest  darling,  I  sometimes  joke  with  peo- 
ple, but  when  I  'm  alone  I  cry." 


Dear  little  Mischief !  I  pity  her  so!  If  I  marry 
I  will  tell  Mr.  Lieutenant  she  must  live  with  us, 
and  we  can  all  chase  thieving  Indians  together. 
And  now  I  will  copy  a  letter  I  received  from  him 
to-day  which  has  annoyed  me  much.  Men  are 
often  so  silly  when  they  make  great  efforts  to  please, 
and  the  poor  Lieutenant  has  rendered  himself  very 
absurd. 


96  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

LIEUTENANT'S  LETTER. 
""  Ma  Aimee, — 

"  A  toi  est  adresse  mon  premiere  effort  dans 
lettre-ecriture  Francois.  Tout  a  fait  indigne  de  ton 
lecture  sans  doute,  mais  comment  suis-je  digne  de 
toi  dans  aucun  maniere.  Je  ai  fermement  resolve 
de  apprendre  Francois,  et  quand  je  aurai  maitrise 
les  principes  de  la  langue,  alors  je  entends  etudier 
Allemand,  pourque  un  jour  dans  la  future  a  le  coin 
de  nos  foyer,  mon  petite  epouse  et  je,  pouvons 
jouir  ensemble  des  litteratures  de  le  vieil  continent. 
Je  baise  avec  tendresse  tes  petit es  douce s  mains. 

"  Ton  fidele  adorateur." 

Can  my  English  have  ever  been  so  ridiculous 
as  his  French?  He  fills  me  with  impatience,  and 
I  will  demonstrate  to  him  that  I  have  also  mastered 
our  slang  and  our  manner  of  speech. 

YVONNE'S  LETTER. 
"  Dear  Mr.  Lieutenant, — 

"  On  receiving  your  letter  I  exclaimed  myself : 
Rats!  for  it  is  perfectly  decayed  of  you  to  write 
to  me  in  French.  It  is  limited !  it  is  fierce !  never 
do  it  again  and  remember  that  the  literatures  of 
Europe  are  to  me  old  chestnuts!  I  am  having  a 
corking  time  here ;  Lily  and  her  mother  are  peaches 
and  I  have  a  date  every  morning  with  Tom  in  the 


BAR  HARBOR  97 

garden.  He  is  Lily's  brother,  and  he  promenades 
me  in  boats  and  on  horses.  I  am  so  happy  in  the 
present,  I  have  little  time  to  think  of  the  future, 
but  I  have  made  the  project  to  have  my  Cousin 
Mischief  live  with  us,  and  she  can  help  you  to  catch 
Indians.  You  may  not  like  this  letter,  in  effect  — 
in  reading  it  over  I  think  it  is  horrid ;  but  it  is  better 
you  should  see  I  am  not  as  nice  as  you  think,  for  it 
is  not  wise  for  people  to  marry  themselves  with 
false  impressions  of  each  other.  You  consider  me 
too  good,  that  renders  me  uncomfortable,  for  Oh ! 
I  have  so  many  faults,  you  would  shudder  if  I 
enumerated  them,  and  perhaps  even  renounce  to 
espouse  me.  When  I  am  opposed  I  become  like  a 
kicking  mule,  so  please  do  not  write  to  me  in 
French  again.  A  French  gentleman  never  gives 
the  '  thou  '  to  his  fiancee,  nor  to  his  wife  in  public, 
(although  Germans  and  Italians  do) ;  it  is  not 
chic  to  seem  familiar.  The  bourgeoisie  do,  but 
then  perhaps  we  Americans  are  bourgeois,  as  we 
have  no  nobility,  I  had  not  thought  of  that. 
Abroad  I  only  frequented  Court  Circles.  Doctors, 
lawyers,  clergymen  we  met  only  in  a  business  way. 
I  am  sorry  not  to  have  better  known  persons  who 
lived  by  their  intelligence;  I  am  sure  they  must  be 
more  interesting. 

"  Good-bye,  dear  Mr.  Lieutenant,  I  did  not  ex- 
pect to  be  away  so  long  from  my  grandmother,  and 
7 


98  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

now  I  have  less  than  a  month  to  remain  in  America. 
Oh!  it  splits  my  heart  to  think  of  it.  Receive,  I 
pray  you*,  the  expression  of  my  best  sentiments. 

"  YVONNE." 

I  never  know  how  to  sign  myself  but  it  seems 
more  natural  to  be  formal. 

I  hear  a  carriage  on  the  gravel  avenue;  my 
window  overlooks  the  entrance.  There  are  two 
gentlemen  in  one  of  those  carriages  they  call  here 
buckboards.  I  recognize  Count  Janos  and  —  Oh ! 
whom  do  I  see?  Prince  Ulrich  von  Weissenberg! 
Quickly!  I  must  change  my  dress!  .  .  . 

Two  hours  later  —  Angelique  had  discovered 
who  was  downstairs  and  she  was  so  excited  she 
could  hardly  fasten  my  dress.  I  found  Mrs.  Stuart 
in  the  parlor  talking  French  to  the  two  Austrian 
gentlemen.  I  shook  hands  with  Janos  in  the  Ameri- 
can fashion,  Prince  Ulrich  bowed  to  me.  He  spoke 
little  but  looked  at  me  much.  Count  Janos  and  Mrs. 
Stuart  were  soon  absorbed  again  in  animated  con- 
versation. I  asked  Prince  Ulrich  with  an  innocent 
expression,  why  he  had  come  to  America. 

He — "  America  interests  Europeans  very  much." 

I  — "  Then  I  suppose  you  will  travel  all  pver  the 
States  to  make  a  study  of  our  country,  and  remain 
at  Bar  Harbor  a  short  time." 

He  — "  Bar  Harbor  interests  me  more  at  present 
than  all  the  States." 


BAR  HARBOR  99 

I  blushed  quite  red,  and  to  cover  my  confusion 
I  said  rather  boldly : 

"  Do  you  not  think  I  have  changed  and  become 
quite  grown  up  since  you  last  saw  me  ?  " 

He  — "  I  observe  you  have  become  very  Ameri- 
can." 

I  — "  You  have  paid  me  the  greatest  compliment, 
for  I  never  wish  to  be  thought  anything  else,  and 
my  most  ardent  wish  is  to  live. here  all  my  life." 

In  answering  him  thus  I  felt  all  the  excitement 
one  experiences  at  taking  a  high  and  difficult  jump. 

He  rose  and  bowed  to  take  leave.  I  noticed  his 
great  height  and  his  air  of  elegance.  He  is  the  type 
of  the  high  aristocrat.  Count  Janos  looked  sur- 
prised that  the  visit  was  cut  so  short,  and  whispered 
to  me,  "  You  have  been  as  unkind  to  him  as  you 
were  to  me." 

Mrs.  Stuart  invited  them  both  to  a  picnic  on  the 
thirty-first.  Janos  accepted;  the  Prince  simply  ex- 
pressed his  thanks.  Since  they  left  I  have  felt  a  lit- 
tle dull,  as  if  I  needed  some  excitement. 


XII 


AUGUST  ist.  What  a  joy  to  be  considered 
agreeable  and  to  be  courted!  How  sorry  I 
am  for  the  old  maids,  who  have  never  received 
attentions  from  men;  who  were  never  surrounded 
by  that  delicious  and  intoxicating  atmosphere  of 
admiration;  and  who  have  none  of  those  dear  little 
vanities  to  color  the  recollection  of  their  youth. 
How  pleasing  it  is  to  put  on  an  indifferent  expres- 
sion, and  seem  not  to  care  one's  self,  because  one 
is  sure  other  people  care  so  much.  But  I  fancy 
my  mask  is  very  transparent,  for  I  do  care  so  much 
about  people,  and  am  terribly  interested  in  all  they 
want  to  say.  Lily  says  the  reason  I  am  a  success, 
is  because  I  like  everybody  and  find  them  charming. 
Oh !  what  a  happiness  to  be  young,  and  not  ugly ; 
I  am  very  grateful  to  God  for  that,  as  therein  I 
have  no  merit,  and  it  is  so  much  easier  for  me  to  be 
sweet  and  nice,  than  if  I  had  a  crooked  nose  and 
were  humpbacked.  In  truth  people  are  kind  and 
the  world  is  beautiful,  and  the  minutes  fly  like  birds 
on  the  wing,  merrily  singing.  I  used  to  be  sad 
and  notice  more  the  shadows  than  the  sunlight; 
drops  of  falling  water  made  me  think  of  tears, 

100 


BAR  HARBOR  101 

but  now  Oh,  no!  they  sparkle  like  diamonds,  and 
a  love  for  the  whole  universe  possesses  me  so  that 
I  should  like  to  embrace  it.  The  trees,  the  sky, 
the  sea,  the  breezes  so  gentle,  the  air  so  vivacious, 
surround  me  with  all  their  delights  to  render  me 
more  joyous.  When  I  pray  at  night,  my  lips  can 
only  formulate  little  sounds  of  ecstacy  and  my  heart 
throbs  with  thankfulness. 

How  can  I  describe  how  I  walk,  and  drive,  and 
dance,  and  play  tennis,  and  swim,  and  canoe  with 
different  persons.  How  all  the  hours  of  my  day 
seem  not  to  suffice  to  fill  the  demands  that  are  made 
to  them.  When  I  was  in  Europe  it  took  me  pages 
to  describe  one  little  rare  moment  of  pleasure,  and 
now  they  succeed  themselves  with  such  rapidity  that 
with  a  few  words  only  do  I  verify  them.  But  the 
picnic  I  will  give  in  detail,  because  of  the  adven- 
tures that  arrived  to  me  there. 

It  was  yesterday.  On  awakening  myself  I  ran 
to  the  window  to  examine  the  weather.  Towards 
the  sea  there  was  a  cloud  of  mist,  but  on  the  earth 
the  sun  shone  bravely.  At  eleven  we  assembled  on 
the  wharf,  a  company  of  sixteen.  Lily  Stuart  is  a 
marvelous  hostess,  she  puts  animation  into  all  her 
guests  with  her  air  of  good  humor  and  her  amiable 
manners.  Prince  Ulrich  had  decided  to  remain. 
I  have  seen  him  every  day,  and  I  like  him  well,  but 
he  has  the  appearance  always  a  little  austere  as  if 
his  surroundings  did  not  interest  him  much. 


102  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

We  started  on  our  little  steam  yacht;  the  waves 
were  agitated,  which  rendered  some  people  some- 
what morose  but  without  mis  fortunate  results.  We 
approached  a  ravishing  island  and  landed  in  little 
boats.  I  was  enchanted  that  Lily  had  brought  no 
servants,  for  on  such  occasions  they  are  only  tire- 
some guardians  of  decorum;  thus  we  arranged 
everything  ourselves;  the  gentlemen  made  the  fire 
and  the  ladies  unpacked  the  baskets,  laid  the  cloth 
and  spread  all  the  good  things  thereon.  We  eat 
with  a  great  appetite  and  were  very  gay.  After 
lunch  we  scattered  two  by  two  over  the  island. 

I  knew  Prince  Ulrich  considered  me  his  partner, 
for  he  speaks  not  to  the  other  young  girls;  he  ren- 
ders me  very  timid  and  so  without  his  perceiving 
me,  I  escaped  with  Bobby.  Bobby  is  the  young 
man  I  met  on  the  steamer,  his  surname  is  Smith; 
he  is  very  jolly,  and  not  very  old;  he  is  a  Senior 
in  the  University  of  Harvard,  and  when  I  told  him 
I  had  believed  Harvard  and  Yale  to  be  two  race- 
horses, he  first  looked  much  scandalized  at  my 
ignorance,  and  then  rolled  himself  on  the  grass  with 
laughter. 

We  were  sitting  among  pine  trees,  and  we  smoked 
cigarettes,  which  gave  us  a  feeling  of  comradeship 
and  of  enjoying  together  a  somewhat  reprehensi- 
ble sport.  It  is  so  nice  to  be  just  a  little  wicked ! 

He  likes  to  talk  very  much  and  I  am  always 
glad  to  listen.  He  told  me  he  was  an  orphan,  and 


BAR  HARBOR  103 

an  uncle  called  Herbert  Dale  had  brought  him  up. 
He  grew  quite  enthusiastic  and  said : 

"  My  Uncle  Herbert  is  the  best  all  round  man 
I  have  ever  known;  he  is  as  straight  as  a  die,  kind, 
good-natured,  firm  as  a  rock  so  you  always  know 
where  to  find  him.  He  is  splendid  at  every  game, 
rides  a  horse  like  a  Centaur,  plays  polo  better  than 
any  one,  and  he  spends  lots  of  money  helping  peo- 
ple. I  tell  you  what,  he  is  perfectly  fine ;  ever  since 
I  was  a  little  chap,  I  passed  all  my  vacations  with 
him,  for  after  my  parents  died  he  looked  after  me, 
and  he  's  my  guardian." 

"  I  wish  I  knew  him,"  I  said.  "  I  suppose  al- 
though he  is  your  uncle  he  is  not  an  old  gentleman?  " 

"  No,"  answered  Bobby,  "  he  is  sort  of  middle- 
aged,  between  thirty  and  forty,  but  he  has  a  lot  of 
endurance  left;  I  guess  he  can  beat  me  at  pretty 
nearly  anything;  and  by  Jove!  he  is  a  good  sort; 
-he  has  seen  me  through  a  lot  of  scrapes;  yet  would 
you  believe  it,  some  people  dislike  him.  I  think 
they  're  afraid  of  him,  for  he  can  be  awfully  sar- 
castic ;  he  does  n't  care  much  for  society.  He  is 
clever,  you  know,  and  dull  people  bore  him  and  I 
guess  he  lets  them  see  it." 

I  then  asked  Bobby  about  his  life  at  college,  and 
I  was  deeply  interested  to  learn  thus  about  the  whole 
existence  of  a  young  man. 

"  By  Jove,  Miss  Carrington,"  he  said,  "  if  you 
will  only  stay  here,  instead  of  going  back  in  three 


104  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

weeks  to  that  beastly  old  Europe,  I  will  show  you 
all  the  sights  of  Cambridge,  and  next  spring  at 
Class  Day  when  I  graduate,  I  '11  see  to  you  hav- 
ing the  time  of  your  life." 

"Oh,  but!"  I  said,  "I  should  so  love  to  stay, 
but  I  cannot." 

"  Look  here,"  he  said,  "  if  you  got  engaged,  then 
you  would  stay  with  your  grandmother." 

"  But,  no !  "  I  answered  sadly,  "  being  engaged 
makes  no  difference." 

"  You  bet  it  would,"  he  said  eagerly.  "  By  Jove, 
Miss  Carrington,  I  have  not  known  you  so  awfully 
long,  but  long  enough  since  the  steamer  to  know 
that  I  'd  be  just  the  luckiest  fellow  on  earth  if  you 
—  if  we  —  well,  if  I  was  engaged  to  you,  for  I 
am  head  over  heels  in  love  with  you." 

And  he  looked  at  me  with  such  a  nice,  smiling 
expression  that  I  thought  to  be  engaged  to  him 
would  not  be  so  disagreeable;  unfortunately  one 
cannot  promise  to  be  betrothed  to  two  young  men 
at  the  same  time ;  it  would  not  be  honorable. 

"  I  am  extremely  sorry,"  I  said,  "  but  I  am  al- 
ready engaged." 

It  sounded  as  if  I  were  refusing  a  waltz.  He 
jumped  to  his  feet  and  looked  more  astonished  than 
sad. 

"  By  Jove !  you  are  already  engaged,  and  you 
are  only  eighteen!  Well!  I  might  have  known  it" 

"  Please,"  I  said,  rising  also,  "  speak  not  of  it  to 


BAR  HARBOR  105 

any  one,  for  it  is  a  secret,  but  I  told  you,  so  that 
you  should  lose  the  desire  to  espouse  me." 

He  looked  at  me  a  long  moment;  his  expression 
changed  from  an  air  of  surprise  to  an  air  of  sad- 
ness, and  I  felt  I  should  like  to  console  him. 

"  Don't  let  your  disappointment  pain  you  too 
much,"  I  said  gently. 

"I  shall  never  care  for  any  one  else,"  he  said; 
and  I  thought  that  surely  he  had  not  loved  me  so 
greatly  until  he  found  he  could  not  have  me. 

"  Do  you  mind,"  he  said,  "  if  I  leave  you  for  a 
bit,  I  just  want  to  pull  myself  together." 

"  Yes,  go,"  I  said,  "  and  do  not  desolate  your- 
self because  of  me.  Later  on  you  may  meet  a  nice 
young  girl  whom  you  can  marry." 

He  shook  his  head  and  went  off  among  the  trees 
while  I  wandered  along  the  shore;  there  were  big, 
flat  rocks  that  sloped  into  the  water,  and  I  found  a 
ravishing  place  just  above  them,  where  soft,  green 
moss  stretched  under  the  shade  of  pines.  I  sat 
myself,  glad  to  be  alone,  watching  the  sparkling 
waves  and  plunged  profoundly  in  my  reflections. 

How  strange  to  feel  that  in  the  space  of  a  month, 
two  charming  young  Americans  had  wanted  to  es- 
pouse me,  and  I  wondered  who  the  third  American 
would  be.  If  only  I  could  be  married  at  once  and 
not  return  to  Europe,  but  I  shall  have  to  wait  long 
years  for  Mr.  Lieutenant.  I  was  perhaps  a  little 
too  hurried  in  accepting  him,  for  I  know  now  that 


io6  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

young  people  drive  together  alone  without  becom- 
ing betrothed. 

I  sighed  under  the  trees;  the  blue  waves  shone 
beneath  the  great  rocks;  and  I  fell  into  a  deep  rev- 
ery.  Poems  of  Heine  about  love,  and  tears,  and 
death  traversed  my  mind  like  whispering  voices ;  it 
was  warm  in  the  sun  and  I  think  I  fell  asleep. 

A  cool  shadow  fell  upon  me  and  I  opened  my 
eyes.  Prince  Ulrich  stood  gazing  at  me.  I  arose 
quickly  all  confused;  for  in  sleep,  when  the  mind 
does  not  hold  guard  over  the  face,  it  seems  immod- 
est to  be  watched.  His  expression  was  gentle  and 
kindly;  different  from  what  I  had  ever  seen.  We 
conversed  in  German  which  I  shall  translate. 

He  — "  I  sought  you  everywhere,  mein  Fraiilein. 
I  feared  you  had  gone  off  like  the  other  young 
ladies  with  some  young  gentleman;  instead,  I  had 
the  happiness  to  find  you  alone,  slumbering  beneath 
the  trees,  and  the  song  of  Schuman  flows  from  my 
lips :  — '  Du  bist  wie  eine  Blume,  so  hold,  so  scJwn, 
so  rein.' ''  He  murmured  the  whole  of  it  with  an 
accent  so  tender,  that  suddenly  I  felt  steal  over  me 
an  emotion  very  soft.  It  must  have  been  the  effect 
of  my  sleep,  and  to  dispel  it,  I  said  laughing 
lightly : 

"  I  had  never  thought  you  were  so  poetic.  Look 
at  that  lovely  little  island  opposite  us.  I  am  longing 
to  visit  it;  will  you  take  me  over  there?  I  know 
where  the  boats  are  attached." 


BAR  HARBOR  107 

He  stiffened  himself  and  said  formally,  "  Cer- 
tainly, if  you  wish  it." 

We  strolled  to  the  beach.  Only  one  canoe  was 
left.  Nobody  was  to  be  seen.  I  carefully  got  in 
for  I  have  discovered  a  canoe  upsets  like  a 
nutshell,  and  Prince  Ulrich  in  entering  nearly  tipped 
it  over.  He  knew  not  how  to  paddle,  but  I  had  been 
taught  by  three  different  young  men,  so  I  took  place 
in  the  stern.  I  found  it  a  laborious  task.  I  was 
less  skillful  than  I  had  imagined,  but  the  tide  and 
the  wind  helped  me;  Prince  Ulrich  was  silent;  he 
smoked  cigarettes  and  watched  me.  I  became  very 
fatigued,  but  naturally,  without  complaining,  I  pad- 
dled on.  After  a  very  long  time  we  reached  the 
little  island. 

Oh !  it  was  magnificent !  just  a  pedestal  of  rock 
with  the  sea  all  around;  in  the  center  a  pine  tree 
with  moss  at  its  feet;  towards  the  open  ocean  we 
saw  on  the  horizon  a  great  wall  of  fog,  so  we  pre- 
ferred the  sunny  side  where  we  found  an  immense 
rock,  forming  a  platform,  whereupon  we  did  sit. 
The  sun  was  pleasantly  warm,  and  the  sky  looked 
as  if  it  had  drawn  a  thin,  white  veil  over  its  surface. 
My  heart  was  light  and  I  was  gay.  I  think  my 
gaiety  was  contagious,  for  Prince  Ulrich's  formal 
tone  melted  away,  and  he  had  the  manner  of  one 
who  lets  himself  go  to  be  agreeable,  without  con- 
straint. 

He  told  me  about  his  wild  boar  park  in  Hungaria 


io8  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

and  of  some  exciting  hunts  he  had  witnessed;  of  a 
voyage  he  had  taken  to  Persia,  where  he  was  the 
guest  of  the  Shah;  then  he  related  anecdotes  about 
the  court  of  Franz  Joseph,  where  he  holds  some 
function,  and  never  before  had  a  man  of  the  world 
conversed  with  me  with  such  freedom,  and  yet  with 
such  an  air  of  deference. 

Oh,  but  yes!  he  was  all  that  is  most  charming! 
For  a  moment  he  was  silent  and  I  tried  to  play 
ducks  and  drakes  with  flat  pebbles  as  Tom  had 
taught  me,  but  I  stopped  when  the  Prince  spoke  to 
me  again  with  a  new  gravity  in  his  voice. 

He  — "  You  must  know,  Fraiilein  Yvonne,  why  I 
have  come  to  this  country.  Since  I  saw  you  last 
spring  in  Berlin,  I  have  wished  to  .have  you  for  my 
wife.  I  have  your  parents'  consent,  and  their  per- 
mission to  seek  yours." 

I  — "  Oh !  Prince  Ulrich,  you  were  not  then  told 
that  my  grandmother  gives  me  no  dowry?  " 

He  — "  Yes,  your  mother  has  told  me,  that  for 
the  present  you  have  no  fortune,  but  that  has  not 
made  my  mind  to  change;  and  if  we  can  not  live 
in  the  great  state  I  should  have  wished,  yet  I  can 
offer  you  an  easy  life  and  I  hope  a  happy  one.  You 
have  bewitched  me,  Yvonne.  I  think  of  you  day 
and  night." 

I  — "Oh,  but  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  said,  my  voice 
trembling  a  little,  for  at  last  I  understood  that  he 
really  loved  me,  "  I  can  only  marry  an  American. 


BAR  HARBOR  109 

I  love  my  country  as  you  do  yours;  you  would  die 
for  yours,  so  would  I  for  mine;  all  these  years  of 
my  youth  where  I  have  been  an  exile,  my  love  for 
it  has  grown  and  grown,  like  the  deep  roots  of  a 
tree,  which  cannot  be  torn  and  transplanted  with- 
out being  killed.  Soon  I  must  return  to  Europe, 
but  then  later  I  shall  return  to  America,  to  stay  for- 
ever." 

He,  quite  tenderly — "  Mem  susses  Madel,  my 
sweet  girl,  you  are  still  very  young,  and  you  are 
impressionable  as  a  child ;  your  feelings  will  change, 
and  remember  a  woman's  country  as  well  as  her 
name,  when  she  marries,  is  her  husband's." 

I  — "  That  is  why  I  must  marry  an  American, 
and  then  you  forget  I  am  grown  up  now;  I  am  a 
woman,  and  I  know  whom  I  must  love  and  where 
I  must  live." 

He  — "  I  will  not  reason  with  you  now,  but  I 
shall  wait  and  this  Autumn  at  the  Imperial  Ma- 
noeuvre we  shall  meet  again,  and  you  may  relent ;  I 
assure  you,  it  is  the  first  time  I  have  ever  pleaded 
thus  with  a  young  girl." 

I  — "  Do  not  think  that  I  am  not  fully  aware 
of  the  honor  you  are  doing  me,  and  I  have  all  the 
feeling  for  you  which  would  be  required  of  a  Ger- 
man young  girl ;  I  fear  you  a  little,  I  respect  you 
much  and  admire  you  sufficiently,  but  I  shall  not 
change  my  mind,  and  you  will  find  me  the  same  at 
the  Imperial  Manoeuvre  as  I  am  on  this  tiny  island." 


no  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

(For  some  secret  reason  I  did  not  tell  him  I  was 
engaged;  perhaps  I  wanted  something  exciting  to 
look  forward  to  in  the  autumn.) 

He  gazed  at  me  long  and  searchingly  and  I  re- 
turned his  look  straight  in  the  eyes,  although  I  felt 
myself  redden.  He  bit  his  moustache  and  with  his 
air  of  superb  assurance  he  said :  — 

"  I  shall  wait ;  my  desire  is  stronger  than  your 
obstinacy." 

The  air  had  grown  cold  and  damp ;  he  arose  and 
looked  at  his  watch  and  said :  "  It  is  after  six 
o'clock ;  we  must  return  at  once ;  for  although  young 
people  here  are  left  strangely  alone  together,  I  would 
not  for  the  world  and  for  all  the  pleasure  I  have 
of  being  with  you  awaken  the  slightest  misappre- 
hension." 

I  — "  We  Americans  have  no  evil  thoughts  con- 
cerning young  girls ;  they  are  safe  from  all  scandal 
and  all  blame." 

He,  ironically  — "  You  are  very  proud  of  your 
countrymen's  faith  or  credulity,  which  I  prefer  not 
to  tax.  Besides  it  is  growing  dark  rapidly  and  the 
fog  is  surrounding  us." 

We  hastened  to  where  we  had  left  our  canoe;  it 
was  not  to  be  seen!  The  tide  had  risen  greatly 
and  the  wind  swept  sideways  over  the  island,  bring- 
ing the  fog  with  it,  and  we  were  soon  enveloped  in 
its  chilly  embrace.  Faintly  we  could  see  in  the  dis- 
tance the  picnic  island  and  the  yacht,  but  as  we 


Ill 

gazed  they  became  more  and  more  indistinct,  and 
we  surely  could  not  be  seen  at  all.  We  shouted, 
but  our  voices,  thickened  by  the  fog,  seemed  to  drop 
at  our  feet.  Prince  Ulrich  was  agitated  and  said : 

"  I  am  accustomed  to  the  Adriatic  and  the  Med- 
iterranean where  the  tide  hardly  rises;  I  wonder 
how  much  more  of  this  island  the  water  covers, 
but  do  not  be  frightened." 

I  — "  I  am  never  frightened,  and  if  they  do  not 
find  us  to-night  they  will  find  us  to-morrow  morn- 
ing; the  only  thing  is,  we  shall  be  very  hungry." 

He,  more  agitated  — "  That  must  not  be  that  we 
spend  the  night  here.  I  shall  swim  to  shore." 

I,  seizing  his  arm  — "  Oh !  that  must  you  not  do ; 
you  will  drown;  the  water  is  like  ice;  no,  we  must 
talk  and  be  cheerful,  and  try  to  keep  warm."  (I 
shivered  as  I  spoke,  for  my  dress  was  very  thin; 
my  coat  I  had  left  on  the  yacht.) 

He  — "  You  plucky  girl !  yes,  we  shall  make  the 
best  of  it,"  and  taking  off  his  coat  he  forced  me  to 
wear  it  notwithstanding  my  protests. 

The  tide  was  rising  over  the  rocks ;  we  withdrew 
to  the  solitary  tree  where  the  moss  gave  us  assur- 
ance the  waves  would  not  reach  us,  and  drawing  my 
arm  through  his,  he  walked  me  up  and  down.  He 
recalled  incidents  at  Berlin,  spoke  of  people  we 
knew,  and  tried  valiantly  to  entertain  me,  but  I 
could  discern  he  was  anxious,  for  he  often  stopped 
to  listen;  no  sound  reached  our  ear  except  the 


112  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

splash  of  the  waves,  and  sometimes  a  sea  hawk 
screeched  overhead. 

I  became  fatigued  and  asked  him  to  let  me  rest: 
he  spread  his  waistcoat  beneath  the  tree;  the  air 
was  like  a  wet  sheet,  and  I  begged  him  to  put  his 
coat  over  both  of  our  shoulders;  at  first  he  would 
not,  walked  up  and  down,  but  I  said  I  should  be 
warmer  if  he  sat  beside  me,  so  at  last  he  consented, 
and  like  the  lost  babes  in  the  wood  we  huddled 
together  in  the  moss. 

I  had  never  divined  how  kind  and  gentle  he  could 
be.  He  warmed  my  hands,  by  rubbing  them  gently, 
then  held  them  in  one  of  his,  while  he  held  with  the 
other  the  sleeves  of  the  coat,  and  as  I  leaned  against 
him  I  wished  he  had  been  an  American;  but  no, 
why  should  I  wish  thus  ?  am  I  not  already  betrothed  ? 
and  for  the  second  time  that  day  the  thought  which 
before  had  made  me  to  smile,  made  me  to  sigh;  and 
then  I  followed  the  impulse  which  came  with  a  sud- 
den idea. 

"  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  whispered,  "  why  could  you 
not  do,  what  so  many  English  lords  did  long  ago, 
settle  in  this  country  and  become  an  American  ?  " 

"  I !  "  he  exclaimed,  "  I,  an  Hungarian  Magnate 
become  an  American  citizen!  little  Yvonne,  you  are 
mad." 

"  You  wanted  me  to  abandon  my  nation,  why 
should  you  not  abandon  yours  ?  " 

"  Ach!    there    is    no    comparison.     I    repeat,    a 


BAR  HARBOR  113 

woman's  country  is  her  hearth  and  home,  but  we 
will  not  speak  now  of  such  matters;  if  only,"  he 
continued,  "  I  could  make  a  signal  to  draw  their 
attention,  for  they  must  be  searching  for  us.  This 
is  terrible." 

I  wondered  that  a  man  who  had  been  in  so  many 
perils  should  be  so  anxious.  After  that  we  re- 
mained silent ;  it  was  dark ;  no  sound  could  we  hear, 
but  I  felt  not  afraid. 

Thus  the  hours  passed,  gliding  one  into  the  other, 
with  nothing  to  divide  them,  and  we  remained  cold, 
damp  and  hungry,  but  comforted  by  each  other's 
warmth  and  presence.  We  thought  the  night  far 
advanced,  and  were  watching  for  the  dawn,  when 
suddenly  a  deep  voice  near  us  calling  —  Hullo ! 
Hullo!  made  us  jump  to  our  feet. 

We  shouted  as  loudly  as  we  could.  Then  the 
same  voice  seemed  to  come  from  another  direction. 
Again  we  answered,  but  to  our  cries  we  received 
no  response. 

"  They  are  calling  us  through  a  megaphone,"  said 
Prince  Ulrich. 

Again  we  shouted,  and  through  the  fog  appeared 
a  vacillating  flame ;  a  man  yelled,  "  Where  are 
you?" 

"  On  a  little   island,   right  here,"   we  answered, 
and   we   saw    the    fantastic   shapes   of   men    rising 
through  the  mist  holding  torches,  and  a  boat  scraped 
the  rock. 
8 


U4  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

We  ran  forward  and  Count  Janos  and  Bobby 
sprang  to  meet  us. 

"  We  thought  you  were  drowned  and  lost,"  they 
said. 

Janos  embraced  Prince  Ulrich  and  I  think  Bobby 
embraced  me.  We  told  them  as  they  rowed  us 
away  what  had  happened  to  us,  and  presently  we 
heard  the  fog  horn  from  the  yacht  and  saw  lights 
flashing  to  guide  us.  We  were  received  on  board 
with  shouts  of  delight ;  all  the  young  girls  did  kiss 
me,  and  Lily  Stuart  was  nearly  hysteric  with  joy, 
for  they  had  really  been  very  anxious.  We  discov- 
ered it  was  only  ten  o'clock,  which  surprised  us 
much,  as  we  had  thought  the  night  nearly  over. 

I  sat  down  to  supper  in  warm  clothes  the  young 
girls  gave  me,  and  Prince  Ulrich  looked  very  funny 
in  a  seaman's  jersey;  but  he  had  become  solemn 
again. 

I  was  given  champagne,  and  we  were  all  very 
jolly;  but  when  we  landed  on  the  quay  at  midnight 
we  were  encountered  by  worried  parents,  who  were 
not  jolly  but  very  cross,  for  they  had  waited  several 
hours  for  our  return,  and  who,  after  we  had  ex- 
plained what  had  happened,  seemed  to  think  it  very 
silly  that  I  should  have  been  lost  on  an  island  in 
the  fog. 

I  notice  people's  points  of  view  are  so  different! 


XIII 

AUGUST  2nd.  Yesterday  morning  I  felt  happy 
when  I  wrote  the  long  account  of  my  adven- 
ture. I  had  slept  ten  hours;  my  heart  was  gay;  it 
even  amused  me  to  think  that  at  my  will  I  could 
be  called  either  Mrs.  Lieutenant  Joseph  Hill  or 
Mrs.  Bobby  Smith,  or  lastly  —  Princess  Ulrich  von 
Weissenberg;  that  is  a  very  high  name,  but  a  true 
American  does  not  feel  honored  by  titles. 

And  so  I  was  lightly  turning  matters  over  in  my 
mind  as  I  sat  in  the  afternoon  in  the  garden,  trying 
to  read  about  our  Civil  War;  my  ideas  would  not 
work  over  the  bloody  battles;  they  felt  like  butter- 
flies put  into  a  bee-hive  and  told  to  produce  honey; 
thus  I  was  making  great  and  useless  efforts  to  ab- 
sorb myself  in  history,  when  I  saw  Prince  Ulrich  ad- 
vancing down  the  garden  path.  His  expression  was 
so  serious  I  wanted  to  run  away,  but  I  remembered 
my  grandfather  had  fought  in  the  war,  and  I  must 
not  be  unworthy  of  him. 

Prince  Ulrich  kissed  my  hand  as  if  I  were  a 
married  lady,  and  sat  down  near  me. 

I  began  talking  with  vivacity  of  the  ball  I  was 
going  to  that  evening,  but  he  interrupted  me  as 
if  he  had  nothing  heard. 

"5 


u6  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  I  have  come  to  very  earnestly  speak  with  you. 
You  must  realize,  of  course,  that  after  the  hours  we 
spent  alone  on  that  island  last  night  I  am  expected 
as  an  honorable  man,  by  your  friends  and  everyone 
you  know  to  make  you  my  wife." 

"  Oh !  but  certainly  no,"  I  protested. 

"  Hush,"  he  said,  as  if  I  were  an  impatient  child, 
"  a  little  thought  on  your  part  will  make  clear  to 
you,  that  what  will  be  my  greatest  happiness  is 
imposed  upon  you  as  a  necessity,  and,  my  dear 
Yvonne,  I  cannot  feel  it  ought  to  be  so  difficult  for 
me  to  dispel  your  childish  objections ;  I  thought  last 
night  you  showed  confidence  in  me,  did  you  not?" 

"Yes,"  I  admitted,  "but—" 

"  You  said,"  he  continued,  "  that  you  respected 
and  esteemed  me;  from  a  worldly  point  of  view,  I 
offer  nothing  unworthy  of  you." 

"  I  assure  you,"  I  hastened  to  say,  "  I  am  deeply 
honored,  but  — " 

"  And  what  do  you  oppose  to  my  suit  ?  "  he  went 
on  in  the  same  calm  manner  — "  patriotic  feelings 
for  a  country  you  have  only  known  a  few  weeks, 
whose  history,  I  observe,  you  are  trying  to  learn; 
but  I  can  inflame  your  fancy  with  tales  of  my  Fa- 
therland that  can  equal  yours;  we  Hungarians  have 
also  struggled  for  home  and  liberty;  in  marrying 
me  you  will  bear  the  name  of  heroes  who  have 
fallen  as  sacrifice  to  their  country,  your  children 
will  make  you  the  proud  mother  of  warriors  and 


BAR  HARBOR  117 

patriots,  and  then,  can  you  not  comprehend  that  all 
these  things  ought  to  fade  in  a  young  girl's  mind  in 
comparison  to  the  deep  affection  and  exalted  de- 
sire which  I  consecrate  to  you  ?  I  love  you  so  much ; 
your  sweet  innocence,  your  spirit  of  pride,  your 
fearlessness  and  every  girlish  charm  I  adore;  tell 
me  in  truth  would  it  be  so  difficult  for  you  to  care 
for  me  a  little  ?  " 

I  hardly  dared  raise  my  eyes  to  his  — "  I  care  for 
you  very  much,"  I  whispered,  "  but  — " 

"  That  is  sufficient,"  he  said  with  a  glad  accent. 
"  I  am  sure  I  can  make  you  love  me;  you  are  so 
young  a  creature,  that  life  is  still  a  closed  book  to 
you,  and  no  other  man  but  me  can  as  yet  have 
turned  the  leaves  to  open  even  the  first  page.  You 
require  a  strong  man  to  guide  and  shield  you,  and 
tenderly  care  for  you;  Yvonne,  tell  me  that  I  am 
the  one  to  whom  you  will  trust  yourself ;  for  surely 
you  are  to  be  my  treasure,  my  bride." 

"  Oh,  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  cried,  "  it  is  terribly  sad, 
but  I  am  not  free ;  I  am  already  betrothed." 

He  rose  to  his  feet,  a  flush  of  anger  spread  over 
his  face,  then  he  became  very  pale. 

"  You  have  played  with  me,"  he  said ;  "  you  have 
deceived  me." 

"  No,  I  have  not,"  I  answered,  my  courage  re- 
turning, and  I  arose  also,  drawing  myself  up  to  my 
full  height.  "  I  have  told  you  since  the  beginning 
I  would  not  marry  you,  that  I  should  only  marry 


u8  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

an  American.     You  would  not  believe  me;  that  is 
not  my  fault." 

"  And  may  I  inquire,"  he  said,  his  voice  sounding 
like  a  steel  sabre  cutting  off  people's  heads,  "  the 
name  of  the  American  on  whom  you  have  bestowed 
your  hand  ?  " 

"  I  am  engaged  to  an  officer  of  the  United  States 
Army !  "  As  for  the  first  time  I  made  this  clear 
statement,  the  sense  of  the  words  struck  me  as 
false,  and  my  heart  seemed  to  deny  my  declaration ; 
a  great  doubt  and  unhappiness  took  possession  of 
me,  yet  I  felt  I  was  carrying  a  banner  I  had  prom- 
ised to  bear,  and  I  must  be  true  to  my  colors, — 
at  least  while  the  fight  and  struggle  lasted. 

Prince  Ulrich  looked  at  me  coldly  for  a  moment. 
I  felt  the  color  come  and  go  in  my  face,  but  I 
lowered  not  my  head  and  looked  him  in  the  eyes. 
Then  he  bowed  low  with  a  sort  of  ironical  defer- 
ence, saying: 

"  Allow  me  to  take  leave  of  the  future  Frau 
Generalin  of  the  Army  of  the  United  States  of 
America,"  and  turning  he  walked  down  the  path. 

I  saw,  through  the  bitter  sarcasm  of  his  farewell, 
how  deeply  wounded  he  was,  in  his  pride  and  his 
affection;  and  so  I  took  not  amiss  his  words,  but 
I  felt  grieved,  oh!  so  grieved. 

He  reached  the  little  gate  at  the  end  of  the  path 
leading  to  the  high  road,  and  following  my  impulse 
of  remorse,  that  by  me  he  should  suffer,  I  ran  after 


BAR  HARBOR  119 

him.  He  stopped,  but  did  not  turn  his  head.  I 
laid  my  hand  on  his  arm  and  stood  before  him 
with  tears  in  my  eyes. 

"  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  stammered,  "  I  may  never 
see  you  again,  and  I  do  not  want  you  to  leave 
with  anger  and  bitterness  against  me.  I  meant  no 
harm;  I  thought  I  had  told  you  no,  so  plainly,  and 
how  could  I  have  ever  thought  you  would  love  me 
thus  greatly." 

He  looked  at  me  then  and  smiled  with  a  sadness 
that  I  could  hardly  support. 

"  Dear  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  continued,  "  if  I  could 
have  imagined  this,  I  would  have  told  you  the  first 
day  I  was  not  free,  although,  then  no  one  else  knew 
it.  Please  be  not  longer  angry  with  me,  for  I  like 
you  much,  very  much,  and  you  see  we  resemble  each 
other,  too,  for  we  both  so  love  our  own  countries 
and  we  are  both  proud ;  will  you  not  say  before 
you  go  that  you  forgive  me  and  will  not  think 
bitterly  of  me?  I  pray  you  do,  for  I  am  so  un- 
happy." 

As  I  looked  up  at  him  two  big  tears  rolled  down 
my  cheek. 

"  Mein  susses  Liebling,"  he  murmured,  as  he 
gazed  at  me,  "  my  sweet  darling,  I  am  not  angry 
with  you.  And  can  I  forgive  you  for  being  lov- 
able? You  are  everything  I  most  wanted  my  wife 
to  be,  and  fairer  than  I  could  ever  have  imagined, — • 
so  hold,  so  schon,  so  rein.  I  think  not,  that  I  shall 


120  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

love  another,  but  I  wish  you  all  that  is  excellent 
and  beautiful.  May  the  man  you  have  chosen  be 
good  and  strong,  and  watch  over  you,  as  I  had 
so  fervently  hoped  to  do  myself,  and  keep  you  from 
all  harm,"  and  as  if  he  were  blessing  me,  he  softly 
said,  "  Behilt  dich  Gott,"  and  rapidly  he  walked 
away. 

I  watched  him  as  he  went  —  a  noble,  martial 
figure ;  and  then  I  turned  back  into  the  garden  and 
hid  myself  and  wept. 


THE  SETTLEMENT 


XIV 

AUGUST  5th.  The  scene  has  changed !  Instead 
of  the  beautiful,  cool  Mt.  Desert,  I  am  now 
in  a  stifling  hot  little  house  in  the  poor  quarter 
of  Boston.  I  am  staying  with  my  cousin,  Evelyn 
King,  and  following  her  about  in  her  Settlement 
work. 

The  last  day  at  Bar  Harbor  I  felt  all  different 
from  myself;  dear  Mrs.  Stuart  fussed  over  me, 
thinking  I  was  suffering  from  the  effects  of  my 
adventure  in  the  fog,  but  no!  what  disturbed  me 
was  my  experience  so  grave  with  Prince  Ulrich. 
He  left  that  same  night  and  I  shall  probably  never 
see  him  again,  and  in  my  heart  I  feel  many  varied 
emotions.  I  have  lost  part  of  my  youth  fulness,  for 
I  must  be  quite  a  woman  if  a  man  like  him  wants 
to  make  of  me  his  wife.  I  contemplate  myself  in 
my  mirror  to  observe  if  I  have  visibly  changed, 
and  why  such  three  different  men  want  to  marry 
me.  I  look  into  my  own  serious  eyes,  and  they 
give  me  no  answer,  and  as  I  gaze  —  my  lips  smile 
back  at  me,  for  questioning  them  so  curiously.  No, 
I  do  not  understand!  Life  is  mysterious!  Why 
must  human  beings  create  so  many  difficulties  in 

123 


124  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

their  affairs  of  the  heart?  I  see  the  little  butter- 
flies gaily  chase  each  other  in  couples,  and  the  doves 
that  fondly  mate,  whereas  men  and  women  are 
tormented  by  their  love.  A  month  ago  I  had  not 
thought  of  such  things  and  now  I  so  continually 
search  my  heart  But  it  is  foolishness  to  think  so 
much  of  myself,  rather  will  I  inscribe  what  I  am 
doing. 

I  left  Lily  Stuart  with  great  regret;  she  has  be- 
come my  most  intimate  friend;  although  of  my 
proposals  I  did  not  speak  to  her.  By  silence,  a 
young  girl  must  respect  a  man's  love. 

Tom,  as  a  parting  gift,  gave  me  Israel,  his  favor- 
ite toad,  and  said,  "  Please  keep  him  and  love  him 
for  my  sake." 

I  have  such  a  horror  of  toads,  and  yet  Tom's 
affection  for  the  creature  and  his  sacrifice  in  giving 
it  ought  to  make  me  like  it.  Tom  said,  "  He  will 
be  a  quiet  pet.  I  had  thought  of  a  rat,  or  a  rabbit, 
or  a  guinea  pig,  but  they  would  so  easily  run  away, 
and  Israel  can  only  hop  a  short  bit.  I  have  put 
him  in  a  Maillard  candy  box  with  a  few  little  bugs 
for  the  journey." 

I  do  not  think  it  a  very  convenient  present. 

Cousin  Henry  Short  appeared  at  Bar  Harbor,  the 
day  before  I  left,  to  escort  me  to  West  Point;  he 
asked  my  forgiveness  for  his  rudeness  at  Newport, 
and  said  he  had  written  three  letters  which  he  had 
torn  up,  and  at  last  had  decided  to  come  himself, 


THE  SETTLEMENT  125 

to  make  his  peace.  Oh!  but  how  he  bores  me;  and 
he  smiles  all  the  time  to  render  himself  agreeable. 
Lily  Stuart  said  he  was  like  an  afternoon  tea, —  a 
necessary  drudgery  of  society  to  be  endured  for 
the  sake  of  other  amusements.  If  he  talks  not  to 
me  himself,  he  stands  and  watches  me  talk  to  others, 
which  is  most  exasperating,  but  I  have  had  my  little 
revenge :  I  informed  him  in  the  train  that  I  was  so 
glad  he  was  going  all  straight  to  West  Point,  for 
then  he  could  take  Angelique  there,  for  I  was  to 
stop  two  days  in  Boston.  Of  course,  in  a  Settle- 
ment, Evelyn  had  told  me,  there  was  no  place  for 
a  French  maid,  and  I  had  written  to  tell  my  grand- 
mother he  would  take  care  of  Angelique.  He  was 
furious,  and  went  off  to  smoke. 

Count  Janos,  who  was  on  the  train,  immediately 
took  his  chair;  he  was  like  always  very  amusing, 
and  said  he  was  spending  the  next  day  in  Boston, 
and  would  take  me  out  in  his  automobile. 

When  Cousin  Henry  returned,  he  saw  the  Mail- 
lard  box,  and  thinking  it  contained  sweets  opened  it 
to  offer  me  some.  Israel  fell  out  and  the  little  insects 
flew  around ;  Israel  hopped  onto  Angelique's  foot, 
who  began  to  scream  most  fearfully ;  I  could  not 
help  laughing,  and  Janos  was  simply  convulsed  with 
amusement,  and  everybody  in  the  carriage  was 
aroused.  Naturally,  for  all  the  world  I  would  not 
touch  the  toad,  and  so  Cousin  Henry  had  to  catch 
him,  but  Israel  hopped  about  with  much  energy, 


126  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

and  finally  took  refuge  under  an  old  lady's  skirt, 
who  made  little  squeaks  of  fright,  while  Cousin 
Henry  repeated,  "  Madam  it  is  not  a  mouse." 
Finally,  he  captured  the  poor  beast.  He  was  in  a 
rage  and  said  he  could  not  understand  a  young 
lady  traveling  with  such  creatures ;  and  he  went  off 
to  smoke  again;  so,  after  all,  Israel  rendered  me  a 
good  service,  in  ridding  me  a  long  moment  of  that 
tiresome  man. 

At  the  station  in  Boston  Evelyn  met  me,  and  I 
bade  good-bye,  with  a  great  deal  of  joy,  to  Cousin 
Henry  and  Angelique,  who  thus  were  forced  to 
pursue  the  journey  together. 

Evelyn  and  I  drove  in  a  cab  through  very  dismal 
streets;  it  was  night,  and  I  noticed  that  only  the 
public  houses  were  gay  and  brightly  illuminated,  so 
I  was  not  surprised  they  were  so  crowded.  I 
thought  I  saw  some  tipsy  men,  and  they  frighten 
me  much. 

I  asked  Evelyn  about  her  headaches  and  she  said 
she  had  too  much  to  do  to  think  about  them.  She 
is  much  more  cheerful  here  than  at  Newport. 

The  house  where  she  lives  is  small  and  very  sim- 
ply furnished.  There  are  two  other  Residents,  as 
they  call  them:  one  a  Doctoress  and  the  other  a 
Kindergarten  teacher ;  they  had  pleasant,  quiet  man- 
ners, and  I  liked  them  for  consecrating  their  lives 
to  charity,  without  the  satisfaction  of  wearing  a 
nun's  pretty  costume,  which  is  so  becoming. 


THE  SETTLEMENT  127 

After  a  little  supper,  I  went  to  bed;  many  queer 
city  noises  penetrated  through  the  open  window, 
but  I  soon  dropped  asleep  and  heard  no  more. 

Evelyn  awakened  me  at  seven,  for  at  half -past 
seven  they  breakfast,  and  they  have  only  one  servant, 
so  everything  has  to  be  very  regular.  The  Resi- 
dents dress  very  simply.  I  looked  a  little  queer 
in  a  flowered  silk  muslin.  I  had  only  a  tiny  little 
box  with  me  and  I  had  forgotten  to  tell  Angelique 
to  put  in  simple  raiments;  it  was  very  hot  and  this 
was  my  only  thin  frock.  Evelyn  told  me  I  had 
better  not  go  about  alone;  and  at  eight  we  started 
together,  as  I  wanted  to  see  how  the  poor  live  in 
America. 

The  first  family  we  visited  lived  in  a  cellar;  the 
beds  were  not  made,  and  everything  was  in  dis- 
order, and  the  children  wore  hardly  any  clothes. 
Evelyn  told  the  woman  to  open  the  window,  but 
she  said,  as  it  was  on  a  level  with  the  street,  every- 
one could  look  right  in,  and  winter  and  summer  for 
the  sake  of  decency  they  kept  it  mostly  shut.  She 
said :  — 

"  I  know,  Mum,  we  lives  like  pigs,  but  we  can't 
afford  no  better  rooms;  my  man  has  rheumatiz  of 
the  back,  and  my  Susan  was  took  awful  bad  with 
cramps  so  they  had  to  send  the  ambulance  for  her, 
and  they  cut  something  out  of  her  stomick,  and  so 
Tom  just  gets  enough  to  keep  us  along  by  selling 
newspapers." 


128  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"How  old  is  Tom?"  I  asked. 

"  Well,  dearie,  he  's  going  on  ten ;  he  's  strong 
enough  if  he  's  got  food  in  his  stomick,  although  it 
does  go  awful  hard  gettin'  him  out  of  bed  before 
there  's  no  light  to  fetch  his  newspapers,  and  there  's 
times  he  don't  get  home  till  near  midnight  Gettin' 
no  sleep,  I  guess,  will  stunt  his  growth,  and  them 
poor  cratures,"  pointing  to  two  small  children, 
"  them  goes  at  the  peril  of  their  lives  to  pick  up 
bits  of  coal  on  the  track;  sure  they'll  be  brought 
back  to  me  dead  some  day,  and  me  with  no  insur- 
ance to  bury  them  dacent." 

The  woman  began  wiping  her  eyes  on  her  dirty 
apron.  It  tightened  my  heart  to  hear  of  such  pov- 
erty, and  taking  out  a  twenty  dollar  bill  from  my 
purse,  I  gave  it  to  the  woman;  she  looked  at  it  and 
then  half  sobbing  said : 

"  The  Lord  bless  your  pretty  face  and  your  kind 
heart;  sure  ye  are  the  only  lady  I've  met  who  took 
pity  on  the  poor  folk,"  (this  was  said  with  a  re- 
proachful look  at  Evelyn)  "  and  this  will  pay  for 
a  white  casket  for  one  of  them  poor  cratures." 

"  But,"  I  said,  "  please  buy  coal  with  it  so  that 
the  children  shall  not  be  exposed  to  the  peril  of 
being  crushed." 

"Just  as  you  say,  dearie;  anything  to  plase  you." 

At  that  moment  a  man  came  in  from  the  back 
room,  with  only  an  undershirt  and  trousers  on;  he 
spoke  in  a  gruff,  cross  voice :  — 


THE  SETTLEMENT  129 

"  What 's  the  rumpus  ?  Just  some  of  them  vis- 
itors who  come  round  to  jaw  and  advise  poor  folk 
instead  of  helping  them,  and  prevent  a  man  from 
sleeping,  who's  been  workin'  all  night." 

He  looked  so  menacing  I  was  frightened,  but 
Evelyn  went  right  up  to  him  and  said  quietly: 

"  You  are  master  in  your  own  house,  Mr.  Cos- 
tello,  and  if  you  tell  me  not  to  return  I  sha'n't, 
but  I  had  some  work  I  thought  your  wife  could 
do/' 

"  Well,"  said  the  man  in  a  surly  tone,  "  I  ain't 
no  objection  if  you  give  her  work  to  do,  and  lave 
me  in  peace,"  and  he  slouched  out  of  the  kitchen. 

"  Mrs.  Costello,"  said  Evelyn,  "  I  have  two  dozen 
towels  for  you  to  hem,  if  you  will  come  for  them 
at  the  Home ;  we  pay  five  cents  a  towel ;  and  I  shall 
go  and  see  Susan  at  the  hospital." 

The  woman  thanked  her  and  begged  me  to  come 
again;  she  accompanied  us  to  the  black  corridor 
from  which  some  broken  steps  led  right  up  onto 
the  street. 

The  sun  was  baking  the  pavement  and  I  felt  as 
if  I  could  hardly  draw  a  full  breath.  Evelyn  was 
silent  until  I  questioned  her  about  the  Costellos. 
She  told  me  the  man  was  a  drunkard,  and  the  wife 
drank,  too,  sometimes,  and  neglected  the  children. 

"Did  I  do  wrongly  in  giving  her  money?"  I 
asked. 

"  It  was  unwise,"  answered  Evelyn;  "  if  he  finds 
9 


130  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

it  out  he  will  beat  her  to  get  it,  and  I  think  in 
either  case,  it  will  go  for  drink." 

"  But  then,"  I  said,  "  how  can  you  help  the  poor 
if  you  don't  give  them  money?  " 

"  We  try,"  said  Evelyn,  "  to  furnish  them  work 
to  earn  their  living;  we  try  to  strengthen  their  moral 
sense,  and,  by  living  among  them  as  neighbors,  we 
give  them  opportunities  for  amusement,  instruction 
and  rest." 

I  listened  to  Evelyn  with  much  respect  for  her 
wisdom,  and  I  admired  her  courage  in  confronting 
Mr.  Costello.  We  then  entered  another  house,  and 
climbed  to  the  top;  the  stairs  were  dark,  and  smelt 
of  all  sorts  of  horrid  things.  Evelyn  knocked  at 
a  door;  a  little  boy  in  a  torn  undershirt  opened  it. 
We  entered  a  small  room.  There  was  a  big  bed 
in  which  a  woman  lay  and  two  babies  crawled  be- 
side her;  one  was  crying  and  the  other  was  sucking 
a  comb. 

The  whole  place  was  steaming  with  wet  clothes 
which  hung  on  a  cord  stretched  between  the  window 
and  the  stove,  where  fish,  onions  and  cabbages  were 
cooking.  A  man  sat  eating  at  a  table,  and  paid 
no  attention  to  us.  A  girl  of  twelve,  who  was 
washing  in  a  wooden  tub,  came  forward  and  wiping 
a  chair  offered  it  to  Evelyn;  but  Evelyn  made  me 
sit  down  while  she  stood  by  the  bed,  seeming  not 
to  notice  the  terrible  odor  and  dirt. 


THE  SETTLEMENT  131 

"  I  brought  you  a  few  grapes  and  oranges,  Mrs. 
Homer,"  she  said  in  a  cheerful,  pleasant  voice,  "  and 
how  is  your  asthma  to-day  ?  " 

"  Awful  bad,  Miss,"  answered  the  woman  gasp- 
ing for  breath ;  "  I  don't  get  no  air  at  all  when  the 
washin'  's  bein'  done,  and  this  hot  spell  has  made 
us  all  sick." 

"  I  '11  brush  your  hair  and  wash  your  face  and 
you  '11  feel  fresher,"  said  Evelyn,  while  she  got 
water  in  a  basin  and  took  the  comb  from  the  baby 
and  gave  it  some  grapes  instead.  "  It  is  all  ar- 
ranged, the  children  are  going  to  the  Farm  to- 
morrow, and  I  '11  have  a  tent  put  on  the  roof  where 
you  can  sleep  and  remain  during  the  day." 

The  man  spoke  for  the  first  time,  "  We  were 
near  stifled  last  night,  and  it  kills  my  appetite  livin' 
in  sich  a  place." 

"  You  will  be  more  comfortable  when  the  bed  is 
in  the  fresh  air." 

"  There  ain't  no  fresh  air  round  these  parts," 
said  the  man. 

"  Say,  Miss,"  gasped  the  woman,  "  you  don't 
want  me  to  sleep  on  the  roof  because  you  thinks  I 
have  consumption?  I  don't  want  to  go  to  no  hos- 
pital ;  I  wants  to  stay  at  home." 

"  The  doctor,"  said  Evelyn,  "  told  you  you  had 
asthma  and  we  hope  you  will  get  well  soon." 

I  tried  to  speak  to  the  little  boy  who  stood  star- 


132  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ing  at  me,  but  he  would  not  answer.  Oh,  what  a 
difference  between  him  and  happy  Tom  at  Bar  Har- 
bor! 

Evelyn  and  I  visited  several  more  families;  it 
was  everywhere  so  hot,  so  hot  that  I  longed  for 
a  plunge  in  the  cool  ocean.  We  went  to  see  some 
Italians  who  were  very  clean  and  tidy,  and  smiled 
all  the  time,  although  the  man  was  in  bed  with  a 
crushed  leg,  and  they  were  delighted  to  have  me 
talk  Italian  to  them.  The  last  person  we  went  to 
was  an  old  blind  woman,  who  lived  all  by  herself, 
and  was  cheerful  and  loved  flowers;  we  took  her 
some  geraniums.  She  said  that  smelling  them 
made  her  see  all  the  lovely  gardens  she  had  known 
in  her  youth,  in  Scotland.  Evelyn  read  to  her,  the 
Bible,  while  I  tried  to  keep  the  flies  off  my  face. 
I  whispered  to  Evelyn,  to  know  if  I  might  offer 
to  have  fly  screens  put  in  for  her.  Evelyn  said  I 
might,  and  the  old  woman  was  so  pleased,  and  thus 
I  knew  there  was  one  thing  I  could  give  the  poor 
people,  for  I  had  noticed  what  a  plague  the  flies 
were  in  all  the  tenements  I  visited. 

I  was  so  hot  and  tired  when  we  got  home  I  could 
eat  no  lunch;  and  then  I  lay  down,  while  Evelyn 
went  off  to  a  meeting  at  the  Neighborhood  House, 
—  a  big,  brick  building  she  showed  me  close  by,  with 
large  rooms  for  entertainments  and  social  work. 
Towards  four  I  got  up,  and  I  remembered  that 


THE  SETTLEMENT  133 

Israel  had  not  been  taken  out  of  the  Maillard  box. 
I  ran  out  into  the  street;  it  was  still  boiling  hot. 
I  saw  a  few  children  playing  in  the  gutter  where 
there  was  a  little  moisture. 

I  opened  the  box  and  the  toad  at  once  jumped  out ; 
the  children  surrounded  it,  —  they  had  never  seen  a 
toad;  I  wanted  to  feed  it  but  there  was  no  grass. 
An  Italian  fruit  vender  passed  by.  I  bought  a  head 
of  lettuce  for  Israel  and  a  lot  of  oranges  and 
bananas  for  all  the  children  of  the  quarter  who  had 
gathered  about  me,  like  a  flock  of  sparrows.  At 
that  moment  I  heard  the  horn  of  an  automobile, 
and  a  big,  red  car  stopped  in  the  middle  of  the 
street.  Count  Janos  jumped  out  and  came  towards 
me  saying  in  his  manner  so  gay, — 

"If  to  the  hungry  you  give  good  things,  the 
rich  shall  not  go  empty  away.  I  have  come  to  carry 
you  off  for  a  little  promenade  — " 

"  Oh,  I  am  so  glad  to  go,"  I  said,  "  I  have  not 
been  here  twenty- four  hours  yet,  but  I  am  dying  for 
fields  and  green  grass." 

"  It  is  the  only  cool  thing  to  do  in  this  torrid 
atmosphere.  I  see  you  have  released  Israel." 

"  But  no,"  I  said,  "  I  must  keep  him  for  Tom's 
sake,"  and  I  begged  one  of  the  boys  to  put  him  into 
the  Maillard  box  for  me. 

Then  we  got  into  the  auto  —  it  was  a  great,  big 
Panhard  —  but  it  made  me  chagrined  not  to  take 


134  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

all  the  children  with  me,  they  looked  so  wistful; 
happiness  cannot  be  complete  when  you  leave  peo- 
ple behind,  so  I  said  to  Count  Janos : 

"  If  you  take  me,  you  must  take  some  of  these 
children;  the  tonneau  will  hold  ten;  the  ten  oldest, 
for  little  children  are  sometimes  a  source  of  trouble." 

Count  Janos  looked  uncertain  but  he  is  amiable, 
and  I  was  decided.  By  that  time  the  whole  popula- 
tion was  at  their  windows  giving  me  advice  as  to 
whom  to  take.  I  was  heart  broken  to  refuse  so 
many,  and  I  had  to  console  myself  with  the  happy 
faces  of  those  who  went.  The  Italian  fruit  man 
helped  me  to  get  the  children  seated.  As  we  started 
he  called  out, — 

"  Arrivederla,  Signorina,  bella  passegiata!"  and 
he  looked  as  pleased  as  if  he  were  going  himself. 

Oh!  it  was  delicious  traversing  rapidly  through 
the  air,  and  to  leave  the  sun-baked  streets  behind; 
and  the  children  were  quiet  and  good. 

Count  Janos  was  busy  driving  the  machine,  so 
for  once  he  could  not  talk  much ;  as  we  reached  the 
country,  I  looked  upon  all  the  sweet,  green  nature 
as  if  I  had  been  parted  from  it  for  long  years.  We 
stopped  at  a  little  wayside  place,  and  gave  the 
children  ices;  Janos  and  I  went  and  sat  at  a  little 
table,  and  eat  ours;  imagine  my  doing  such  a  thing 
in  Europe!  although  twenty  eyes  of  children  fixed 
upon  us  ought  to  be  sufficient  chaperons,  but  still  it 
was  quite  an  escapade,  as  no  one  knew  where  I  was. 


THE  SETTLEMENT  135 

Then  we  were  forced  to  return;  Janos  was  going 
back  to  Newport  by  a  late  train,  and  thus  our  party 
of  pleasure  drew  to  its  end.  The  brick  houses, 
the  dusty  streets  seemed  worse  than  ever,  and  as 
Janos  and  his  car  vanished,  I  looked  upon  them 
regretfully.  But  oh!  how  weak  of  me,  for  is  it 
not  my  choice  to  be  here?  and  only  for  two  days? 
and  one  day  is  already  over. 


XV 


AUGUST  6th.     It  was  so  hot  last  night  I  slept 
riot  at  all,  and  I  heard  babies  wailing,  and 
people  scolding  all  night  long. 

At  eight  o'clock  I  was  told  to  help  the  Kinder- 
garten lady  to  take  twenty  children  to  the  train. 
It  was  not  the  same  thing  as  going  in  an  automo- 
bile. Oh,  but  no!  we  had  to  divide  into  two  elec- 
tric trams,  and  I  was  afraid  that  the  children  would 
fall  out;  one  little  boy's  hat  blew  off,  and  one 
little  girl  dropped  her  doll  and  began  to  weep  as 
the  conductor  would  not  stop  for  it,  and  one  child 
said  it  was  always  car-sick,  which  made  me  very 
nervous.  One  little  boy  asked  me  —  if  cows  eat 
green  grass  why  their  milk  was  not  green,  for 
when  he  eat  strawberries  he  became  red  all  over 
his  face  —  and  many  other  strange  questions  they 
asked.  At  last  we  arrived  at  the  station,  where 
the  children  and  the  Kindergartner  took  the  train 
for  the  Farm.  I  am  glad  I  don't  have  to  look  after 
twenty  children  in  a  hot  train;  and  after  losing  my 
way  once  or  twice,  I  finally  got  back  to  the  Settle- 
ment; then  I  went  and  ordered  fly  screens  for  sev- 
eral people,  and  when  I  had  paid  for  them  I  had 

136 


THE  SETTLEMENT  137 

only  seven  dollars  and  twenty-five  cents  left  in  my 
purse. 

At  lunch,  I  found  on  the  table  a  letter  from  my 
grandmother,  enclosing  one  from  Cousin  Carolina 
Short,  inviting  me  to  stay  with  her  at  Lenox  for  a 
few  days.  My  grandmother  said  she  wished  me 
to  go;  it  was  very  hot  now  on  the  Hudson,  and 
Lenox  was  a  beautiful  place  in  the  hills  I  ought 
to  see,  and  it  would  not  be  polite  to  refuse.  I  did 
not  want  to  go;  I  was  tired  and  homesick  for  my 
grandmother;  and  if  Cousin  Carolina  is  like  her 
brother,  Cousin  Henry,  I  shall  not  like  her;  but  I 
had  to  obey,  and  I  telegraphed  to-day  to  Cousin 
Carolina  I  would  come  to-morrow  afternoon.  Thus 
my  twenty-five  cents  were  gone.  I  have  never 
counted  money  so  carefully. 

At  three  o'clock  Evelyn  and  I  went  together  to 
the  hospital  to  visit  Susan  Costello.  I  had  never 
been  in  a  hospital,  and  the  idea  frightened  me,  for 
I  feared  to  see  all  sorts  of  dreadful  diseases.  We 
entered  a  long  room,  with  beds  on  either  side;  it 
looked  very  clean,  and  the  women  lay  quietly,  with- 
out displaying  their  infirmities,  so  my  dread  dis- 
appeared, and  my  interest  in  all  these  poor  sick  peo- 
ple grew. 

Susan  Costello  was  a  nice  looking  girl,  and 
seemed  pleased  to  see  Evelyn;  as  they  talked  to- 
gether I  looked  about  the  room.  In  a  bed  oppo- 
site I  observed  a  young  girl  with  long,  blond 


138  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

tresses.  I  smiled  at  her  and  she  at  me ;  she  moved 
her  hand,  and  a  book  fell  off  the  bed ;  I  went  to 
pick  it  up,  and  I  noticed  it  was  a  German  Bible. 

"  Are  you  German  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Yes,  Miss,"  she  answered. 

And  thus  I  spoke  to  her  in  German,  and  all  her 
face  lighted  with  pleasure.  Although  she  had  pink 
cheeks,  she  appeared  to  me  very  delicate;  her  eyes 
were  blue,  and  she  looked  no  older  than  me.  Her 
voice  was  a  little  hoarse,  and  I  drew  up  a  chair  so 
that  we  could  converse.  I  asked  her  about  herself ; 
she  told  me  her  name  was  Anna  Engel,  that  she  was 
the  daughter  of  a  German  pastor,  and  that  she  was 
a  nursery  governess. 

"  How  come  you  in  the  hospital  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Ach,  Fraulein,  I  broke  my  arm  falling  down 
the  stairs,  and  — "  here  tears  came  into  her  eyes, 
"  and  the  doctor  says  I  am  beginning  tuberculosis 
of  the  lungs  and  that  I  ought  to  live  out  of  doors 
in  a  high  region;  but  how  can  I,  I  must  earn  my 
bread." 

"  Oh,"  I  said,  "  that  is  terrible !  you  must  be  well 
and  strong  first.  Have  you  no  friends  or  relations 
who  can  help  you  ?  " 

"  I  am  a  stranger  in  America,"  she  answered, 
"  I  came  here  all  alone." 

"  Were  you  not  afraid  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Ach  ya,"  she  answered,  "I  was  afraid,  but  I 
had  to  come.  I  am  the  oldest  of  eight  children 


THE  SETTLEMENT  139 

and  so  I  must  help  my  parents;  at  seventeen  I  had 
my  diploma,  and  I  traveled  to  America  to  earn 
my  bread.  I  could  not  speak  English,  and  the 
sea  was  so  agitated,  and  all  the  people  were  to  me 
so  strange;  but  it  had  to  be;  through  the  German 
Church  in  New  York  I  found  a  place  as  governess 
to  six  children  at  the  sea-shore,  near  Boston.  But 
American  children  are  different  from  ours,  and  the 
lady  said  I  was  not  able  to  manage  them ;  the  day 
she  dismissed  me  I  broke  my  arm,  and  now  I  know 
not  what  I  shall  do.  Ach  ya!  Fraulein,  life  is  not 
very  gay." 

"  Listen,"  I  said,  for  my  heart  was  all  troubled 
at  her  misfortune,  "  my  name  is  Yvonne  Carring- 
ton,  and  you  must  think  of  me  as  your  friend;  I 
shall  arrange  that  you  go  somewhere  to  get  well. 
When  do  you  leave  the  hospital  ?  " 

"  In  ten  days  the  Doctor  said." 

"  Well,  you  shall  hear  from  me  before  that." 
(Evelyn  was  calling  me.)  "Good-bye,  Anna."  I 
bent  over  and  kissed  her  forehead. 

"  Adieu,  Fraulein"  she  said  and  kissed  my  hand, 
"  I  know  not  how  to  thank  you." 

I  smiled  at  her  as  I  left,  but  I  felt  more  like 
crying,  for  her  sad  story  had  distressed  me  much. 

On  the  way  home,  I  kept  silent  with  my  thoughts 
and  in  wondering  how  I  could  assist  Anna  Engel, 
I  forgot  how  hot  and  tired  I  was. 

At  supper,  Evelyn  told  the  Doctoress  she  wished 


140  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

she  had  not  to  take  charge  of  the  Girls'  Club 
that  evening,  as  Mr.  Dale  was  going  to  speak  at 
Neighborhood  House,  and  she  wanted  to  hear 
him. 

"Who  is  Mr.  Dale?"  I  asked. 

"  He  is  a  friend  of  mine,"  said  Evelyn. 

"  I  have  heard  him,"  said  the  Kindergartner, 
"  make  a  speech  at  a  political  rally ;  he  is  very  elo- 
quent." 

"  He  has  a  Home  for  Consumptives  in  Lenox," 
?aid  the  Doctoress,  "  he  is  a  philanthropist." 

"  That  hardly  describes  him,"  said  Evelyn,  "  for 
his  time  is  taken  up  with  every  sort  of  thing;  some 
people  would  call  him  a  financier,  for  he  is  a  direc- 
tor in  mines  and  railroads ;  he  is,  I  think,  a  humani- 
tarian; every  thing  human  interests  him,  although 
he  visits  Settlements  as  he  would  the  Chinese  quar- 
ter, partly  out  of  curiosity.  He  runs  a  Sanitarium 
at  the  same  time  as  a  racing  stable, —  on  the  most 
advanced  modern  methods.  He  can  talk  at  a  politi- 
cal rally  and  dance  a  Cotillion  the  same  night;  he 
will  take  a  child  on  his  lap  and  tell  it  fairy  stories, 
and  turn  to  a  society  woman  and  listen  to  scanda- 
lous gossip.  Everything  he  does,  he  does  easily, 
without  effort,  and  at  times  without  much  seeming- 
interest,  so  he  is  often  called  blase." 

"  You  know  him  well  ?  "  asked  the  Doctoress. 

"  I  have  know  him  long,"  answered  Evelyn. 

"  Is  his  name  Herbert  Dale?  "  I  asked. 


THE  SETTLEMENT  141 

"  Yes,  do  you  know  him  ?  "  asked  Evelyn,  rather 
sharply. 

"  No,"  I  answered,  "  he  is  the  uncle  of  a  friend 
of  mine,  who  spoke  of  him  with  enthusiasm  as  a 
wonderful  sportsman  and  polo  player." 

"  Superficial  people  know  him  as  nothing  else," 
said  Evelyn,  "  he  is  also  a  traveler ;  to-night  he  is 
going  to  tell  the  men  and  boys  at  Neighborhood 
House,  of  an  ascent  he  made  in  an  airship  at  Spitz- 
bergen.  I  should  like  to  hear  it." 

"  Evelyn,"  I  said,  "  I  will  take  your  Girls'  Club 
if  you  think  I  can  manage  it,  and  you  go  and  hear 
Mr.  Dale." 

Evelyn  hesitated,  and  then  finally  she  said,  it 
would  be  a  good  experience  for  me,  and  so  I  might 
take  her  place ;  she  hurried  away  to  the  lecture  with- 
out telling  me  what  I  had  to  do ;  the  Kindergartner 
went  with  her. 

I  was  very  much  alarmed  at  keeping  a  lot  of 
grown  up  girls  in  order,  and  the  Doctoress  could  not 
help  me  as  she  had  gone  to  a  Mothers'  Meeting. 

The  young  girls  arrived  a  little  before  eight,  and 
did  not  seem  pleased  to  find  I  had  taken  Evelyn's 
place.  I  did  not  know  what  to  say  to  them;  they 
paid  no  attention  to  me,  and  formed  little  groups. 
One  of  them  said  to  me: 

"  Ain't  you  going  to  call  the  meeting  to  order  ?  " 

I  answered,  "  Oh,  no,  that  is  not  necessary,  every- 
body is  behaving  so  quietly." 


142  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

She  looked  at  me  and  giggled. 

One  young  girl  had  brought  an  illustrated  part  of 
a  Sunday  paper  to  show  her  friends.  I  shyly  asked 
if  I  might  look  at  it  also. 

"  We  ain't  got  no  objection,"  said  one. 

"  Say,"  said  another,  "  there's  a  picture  of  a  real 
live  duchess.  My!  ain't  she  smart  looking." 

I  bent  over  and  exclaimed,  "  Why  that  is 
Romola." 

"Who?"  said  several  girls. 

"  That,"  I  said,  "  is  the  Duchess  of  Fairfield,  Miss 
King's  sister." 

"  Oh,  come  off !  "  said  one  of  them. 

"  Come  off  what  ?  "  I  said. 

"  You  're  stuffing  us,"  said  another. 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  mean,"  I  answered, 
"  but  that  lady  is  Miss  King's  oldest  sister." 

"  Is  she  a  relation  of  yours  too?  "  asked  one  of 
them. 

"  She  is  my  cousin.  I  have  a  photograph  of  the 
four  sisters  taken  together." 

"Will  you  show  it  to  us,  my  dear?"  asked  an 
older  girl. 

"If  you  like,"  I  said,  "  my  album  is  upstairs,  I 
will  get  it." 

I  was  glad  to  discover  anything  to  interest  them, 
for  I  had  had  an  uncomfortable  quarter  of  an  hour, 
feeling  so  helpless  and  young ;  and  some  of  the  girls 
were  getting  very  noisy,  but  now  when  I  returned 


THE  SETTLEMENT  143 

they  all  crowded  round  me,  and  I  sat  at  the  table 
and  opened  the  album.  They  were  tremendously 
interested ;  I  showed  them  my  four  cousins  in  a 
group;  but  they  liked  even  better  a  picture  of 
Romola  in  Court  dress. 

"  My!  if  she  ain't  a  regular  daisy,"  said  one. 

"  You  bet  your  neck,  we  'd  rubber  if  she  came  to 
see  us." 

"  Say,  you  were  n't  sarsing  us  when  you  said 
she  was  Miss  King's  sister?  " 

"  Of  course  not,  and  I'm  sure  she  would  be  glad 
to  come  to  see  you  if  she  were  in  Boston." 

One  of  the  girls  turned  the  page  and  looked  at 
my  mother  and  step- father  in  Court  dress,  and 
wanted  to  know  who  they  were.  I  told  them. 

"  What 's  their  name?  "  they  asked. 

"  The  Count  and  Countess  von  Wildesheim." 

"  Then  you  are  a  Countess,  too." 

"  But  no,"  I  said  and  tried  to  explain,  but  when 
they  saw  my  photograph  in  Court  dress  they  would 
not  believe  I  was  not  a  Countess  also. 

"  You  're  real  foreign,"  said  one  girl,  "  the  min- 
ute you  opened  your  mouth,  I  knew  you  were  n't 
born  here ;  now  come,  were  you  ?  " 

"  No,"  I  said,  "  but  my  parents  being  Ameri- 
can — " 

"  Oh,  cut  it  out !  "  said  one,  "  your  ways  and  man- 
ners are  different  from  the  ladies  round  here,  and 
from  us  girls." 


144  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  I  think  she  looks  real  Frenchy,"  said  one,  and 
they  all  looked  at  me  as  if  I  were  an  animal  in  the 
Zoo,  from  an  unknown  country. 

"  Say,"  one  girl  exclaimed,  "  you  are  the  girl 
who  took  my  little  brother  in  an  auto  yesterday, 
and  talked  Italian  to  one  man,  and  Dutch  to  an- 
other ;  we  know  well  enough  you  're  a  foreigner, 
but  we  don't  mind,  do  we  girls?  " 

"  No,"  they  said. 

"  Say,"  asked  the  oldest  girl,  "  if  you  've  been 
wearin'  Court  dress,  then  I  guess  you  've  been  to  visit 
some  kings  and  queens." 

"  I  was  presented  to  the  Emperor  and  Empress 
of  Germany." 

"  You  don't  say !  "  exclaimed  one. 

"  You  must  have  looked  real  cute,"  said  another, 
"  but  say,  how  do  you  walk  in  that  long  train?  " 

"  One  has  to  learn  to  courtesy  and  walk  back- 
wards." 

"  You  be  a  darling,"  said  the  oldest  girl,  "  and 
show  us  how  you  did  it." 

Suddenly  a  brilliant  idea  struck  me. 

"  If  you  want,"  I  said,  "  I  '11  show  you  just  how 
they  do  at  court;  two  of  you  will  be  the  king  and 
queen;  the  others  will  be  the  royal  princesses,  and 
I  '11  be  the  lady  who  is  presented." 

The  young  girls  were  enchanted  with  the  idea. 
We  made  two  paper  crowns,  and  I  chose  the  oldest 
girl  for  the  king  and  the  prettiest  for  the  queen, 


THE  SETTLEMENT  145 

and  told  them  all  how  to  stand,  and  I  pinned  the 
table  cloth  to  my  shoulders  to  look  like  a  train. 
Then  I  advanced,  and  made  the  three  deep  courtesies, 
and  walked  out  backwards.  They  all  clapped  their 
hands  and  cried  out : 

"  Do  it  again,  little  Countess,  do  it  again." 

"  You  are  giving  us  the  best  time  we  ever  had 
here." 

And  so  encouraged  I  did  it  once  more;  just  as 
I  was  backing  out  towards  the  door  leading  to  the 
stairs,  I  saw  the  door  had  been  opened  into  the 
other  room  which  was  dark,  and  Evelyn  and  a  tall 
gentleman  stood  watching  me.  I  was  so  confused, 
that  seizing  the  album  off  the  table  I  ran  out  of  the 
room  and  up  the  stairs;  some  of  the  young  girls 
called  after  me,  "  Little  Countess,  come  down," 
but  I  refused  to  descend  and  being  more  hot  and 
tired  than  I  had  realized  downstairs,  I  quickly  un- 
dressed. I  could  hear  the  young  girls  talking  and 
then  gradually  going  away.  I  was  in  my  night 
gown  braiding  my  hair,  when  Evelyn  entered : 

"  Already  undressed ! "  she  said,  "  Mr.  Dale 
wanted  to  meet  you." 

"  I  am  sorry,"  I  said,  "  I  did  not  know  who  was 
with  you,  but  I  am  too  weary  to  come  down;  tell 
him  I  am  sorry  for  I  should  like  to  have  seen 
Bobby's  uncle." 

Evelyn  stood  and  watched  me  for  a  moment,  then 
said: 
10 


146  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  I  regret,  Yvonne,  you  told  the  girls  about 
Romola;  they  at  once  asked  me  about  my  sister, 
the  duchess,  and  it  was  absurd  their  calling  you 
'  little  Countess.'  I  live  here  as  simply  as  possible, 
absolutely  on  the  same  basis  as  the  other  social 
workers,  who  are  girls  who  have  to  earn  their  own 
living,  and  I  never  talk  about  my  family ;  now  every- 
body will  know  about  my  father  —  the  Copper 
King,  as  he  is  called  in  the  newspapers." 

"  I  am  very  sorry,  Evelyn,"  I  said,  "  I  meant  no 
harm  and  I  did  not  know  how  to  amuse  the  girls." 

"  My  dear  Yvonne,"  said  Evelyn,  in  her  clear, 
decisive  way,  "  you  are  like  many  other  people 
who  are  carried  away  by  their  impulses;  you  see 
a  poor  person,  and  to  relieve  your  own  feelings, 
you  give  them  money;  you  amuse  the  girls  at  any 
cost;  you  throw  food  to  the  children  in  the  street; 
you  give  them  a  desire  to  ride  in  automobiles;  it 
is  like  putting  a  plaster  over  a  wound  instead  of 
dressing  it  and  making  it  heal  gradually.  I  am 
afraid  you  have  rather  demoralized  the  neighbor- 
hood, but  you  are  very  young  and  warm-hearted; 
you  will  learn  in  time  to  be  wise.  Good-night,  Mr. 
Dale  is  waiting  for  me  downstairs,"  and  she  left 
the  room. 

Thus  I  am  not  wise,  because  I  am  young  and 
warm-hearted;  she  spoke  as  if  they  were  faults  to 
be  corrected.  Oh,  I  am  so  discouraged,  and  so  hot 
and  tired. 


THE  SETTLEMENT  147 

Midnight.  After  writing  my  Memoirs,  I  lay 
down  and  I  fell  into  a  sort  of  torpor.  I  have  had 
a  strange  dream  or  vision,  which  I  must  inscribe. 

I  felt  as  if  upon  my  shoulders  had  been  laid  a 
great  weight,  the  burden  of  all  the  sorrows  and 
pain  of  the  world,  and  I  tried  to  raise  it,  so  as 
to  make  it  lighter  for  others  to  carry,  and  I  could 
not;  and  then  I  felt  that  love,  great  love  to  all 
mankind  would  make  the  world  less  oppressed ;  and 
before  me  stood  Anna  Engel,  the  young  consump- 
tive; and  she  held  out  her  hands,  and  her  eyes 
were  full  of  pain  and  grief,  so  that  she  was  the 
image  of  all  that  humanity  suffers;  I  took  her  in 
my  arms  and  tenderly  I  loved  her,  and  wept  over 
her,  and  tried  to  take  her  misery  from  her ;  and  then 
I  awoke,  sobbing. 

My  candle  is  burnt  down  to  the  wick.  I  cannot 
sleep.  The  air  is  so  hot  I  cannot  breathe.  I  hear 
through  all '  the  open  windows  around  me,  the 
sleepless  people  tossing,  and  the  babies  crying,  and 
the  children  fretting.  Oh!  why  did  God  let  pain 
and  sorrow  enter  into  the  world,  and  fall  so  heavily 
upon  the  poor ! 


LENOX 


XVI 

AUGUST  ;th.  I  left  the  Settlement  this  morn- 
ing, feeling  I  had  gained  much  knowledge  of 
the  sad  manner  in  which  the  poor  have  to  live. 
It  was  hotter  than  ever,  and  on  the  doorsteps  women 
and  children  who  looked  as  if  they  had  also  not 
slept,  were  trying  to  breathe  a  little  air.  Oh,  so 
gladly  would  I  have  taken  them  all  to  the  hills  where 
I  was  going. 

Evelyn  did  not  accompany  me  to  the  station,  as 
she  was  occupied,  and  I  felt  very  emancipated  going 
all  alone,  and  traveling  thus  for  the  first  time  in 
my  life.  After  getting  my  ticket  and  paying  for 
the  carriage,  I  had  one  dollar  left  wherewith  I 
should  buy  my  lunch.  I  had  some  time  to  wait 
for  the  train,  and  so  I  promenaded  myself  outside 
the  station.  As  I  walked  up  and  down,  I  noticed 
a  little  girl  who  looked  very  ragged,  carrying  a 
pitcher  in  both  hands.  She  slipped  and  fell,  and  the 
pitcher  broke,  and  milk  flooded  the  pavement;  she 
burst  out  crying.  I  went  up  to  her  as  she  knelt  on 
the  earth  and  said : 

"  Have  you  hurt  yourself,  my  little  girl?  " 
She  shook  her  head  and  went  on  crying. 
151 


152  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  Can  you  not  get  some  more  milk?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  have  no  more  money,"  she  sobbed. 

So  it  was  but  natural  I  should  give  her  my  dollar 
which  consoled  her  completely.  I  could  not  have 
any  lunch,  but  then  there  is  no  value  in  a  gift  with- 
out sacrifice. 

I  found  it  was  time  for  my  train  to  start,  and  I 
had  to  run  the  whole  length  of  the  station  with  my 
bag  and  my  book,  and  Israel  in  the  Maillard  box ;  the 
porter  helped  me  in  as  the  train  was  moving,  and 
I  sank  breathless  into  my  chair.  I  remained  quite 
still  a  long  time,  with  my  eyes  closed,  for  my  heart 
and  my  head  were  throbbing,  and  I  felt  rather 
weak,  as  I  had  not  slept  for  two  days,  nor  hardly 
eaten  anything;  then  I  was  seized  by  a  great  thirst 
and  I  rose  to  get  myself  water,  but  as  I  stood  up 
everything  turned  .black  before  my  eyes,  and  I  be- 
came very  dizzy,  so  I  sank  back  in  my  chair; 
and  I  felt  frightened  to  be  all  alone,  and  wished 
Angelique  were  with  me. 

"Can  I  do  anything  for  you?"  a  voice  asked, 
which  I  felt  I  had  heard  before ;  as  in  a  dream  and 
without  opening  my  eyes,  I  said : 

"  I  should  like  a  little  water,  please." 

In  a  moment  some  one  gave  me  some  fresh  water 
with  a  little  brandy  in  it.  I  drank  and  felt  revived, 
but  there  were  silly  tears  in  my  eyes,  and  I  feared 
to  look  up  lest  they  should  drop. 

"  Lie  back  in  your  chair  and  I  '11  fan  you,"  and 


LENOX  153 

the  cool  air  made  my  tears  to  dry;  then  I  looked 
up,  and  before  me  stood  the  same  kind  gentleman 
who  had  paid  for  my  ticket  on  my  voyage  to  New- 
port, with  the  same  kind  expression  in  his  eyes; 
he  gently  fanned  me  and  smiled. 

"  You  are  feeling  better  now,  Miss  Carrington?  " 
he  asked. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  said  and  held  out  my  hand  to  him 
which  he  took  and  sat  down  in  the  chair  next  to 
me,  for  our  end  of  the  carriage  was  quite  empty. 
"  I  am  so  glad,  to  see  you  again,  and  what  a  strange 
hazard  we  should  meet  once  more  in  the  train,  and," 
I  continued,  reddening  a  little,  "  I  have  always 
wanted  to  see  you  to  pay  you  for  my  ticket,  but 
unfortunately  to-day  I  have  not  money,  because, 
well  —  because  I  have  none,"  I  stammered  and  felt 
so  foolish  not  to  be  able  to  explain,  and  I  was  ready 
to  cry  again. 

"  It  does  not  matter,  I  assure  you,"  he  said 
quickly.  "  How  is  the  American  History  getting 
on?" 

"  Well,"  I  explained,  "  I  have  been  so  tremend- 
ously occupied  at  Newport  and  Bar  Harbor  and  at 
the  Settlement,  I  have  not  been  able  to  finish  the 
first  volume ;  and  to-day  my  eyes  hurt  me,  but 
when  I  return  to  Europe  — "  my  voice  trembled, 
and  the  tears  came  back;  I  did  never  feel  before 
so  feeble  and  weepful. 

"If  your  eyes  hurt  you,"  he  said,  "  close  them, 


154  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

and  I  will  read  to  you,"  and  he  began  immediately 
to  read  to  make  me  feel  he  was  not  looking  at 
me;  his  voice  was  so  soothing  that  I  very  soon 
regained  my  calm.  It  was  a  nice,  well  modulated 
voice,  and  although  he  read  quite  softly,  the  words 
were  clear  and  distinct;  I  felt  at  peace  and  pro- 
tected, and  glad  to  be  no  longer  alone,  but  with 
someone  who  thus  took  care  of  me.  I  recalled 
what  Prince  Ulrich  had  said, —  that  I  needed  a 
good,  strong  man  to  watch  over  me ;  while  he  read 
I  half  opened  my  eyes  to  observe  him.  Yes, 
he  was  the  same  man  as  in  the  portrait  in  that 
horrid  journal;  I  wondered  who  he  was,  and  how 
he  knew  my  name,  but  I  felt  a  timidity  to  ask 
him  his.  And  as  I  observed  him,  I  saw  how  gen- 
tlemanly he  looked,  with  a  certain  grand  air  and 
distinction  that  Americans  do  not  often  possess. 
He  was  very  well  dressed,  very  clean,  very  neat, 
and  did  not  appear  to  suffer  from  the  heat  like 
the  other  men,  who  had  taken  off  their  vests,  and 
had  handkerchiefs  in  their  collars.  His  hair  was 
brown  and  so  was  his  small  moustache,  which  was 
neither  curled  nor  twisted.  His  hands  were  long 
and  sun-burnt ;  his  shoulders  were  broad ;  and  I 
remembered  he  was  tall;  he  gave  the  impression  of 
a  man  of  great  strength,  I  mean  to  say  strength 
and  power  to  lead  and  dominate  people.  I  was 
noticing  what  a  well  designed,  straight  nose  he 
had  when  he  suddenly  looked  up  and  said : 


LENOX  155 

"  What  is  your  opinion  of  the  Dred  Scott  de- 
cision? " 

I  reddened  very  much  and  said,  "  I  gave  not 
attention  to  the  sense  of  your  words,  but  I  like  so 
much  the  sound  of  what  you  read." 

He  laughed  and  said,  "  My  reading  has  been 
to  you  a  song  without  words.  Shall  I  go  on  ?  " 

"  Oh,  please  do,"  I  answered,  "  if  it  does  not 
tire  you,  and  I  shall  apply  myself  well  to  listen." 

So  he  went  on.  Gradually  my  eyes  closed  and 
his  voice  was  like  a  delicious  murmur,  and  I  think 
I  fell  asleep. 

I  was  aroused  by  the  porter  announcing  dinner, 
and  the  kind  gentleman  looked  at  me  smilingly : 

"  You  seem  rested  by  your  nap ;  now  I  should 
advise  you  to  have  something  to  eat,  and  I  shall 
be  much  honored  if  you  will  go  with  me  to  the 
dining  car." 

"  No,  thank  you,"  I  said,  "  I  prefer  remaining 
here." 

Not  for  the  whole  world  would  I  have  him  pay 
for  me  again ;  thus  in  fasting  myself,  I  should 
achieve  my  sacrifice  for  the  poor  little  girl  of  the 
broken  jug.  He  glanced  at  my  Maillard  box  and 
said: 

"  Well,  I  suppose  you  are  better  provided  for," 
and  he  left  me. 

I  wish  Israel  were  a  couple  of  sandwiches  in- 
stead of  a  toad!  I  should  like  to  have  asked  him 


156  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

to  bring  me  back  a  piece  of  bread,  but  no,  I  must 
be  heroic,  and  I  tightened  my  belt.  I  was  glad  to 
see  his  coat  hanging  up,  for  thus  I  knew  he  would 
return.  To  pass  the  time,  I  read  over  a  letter  of 
Lieutenant  Hill,  which  had  made  me  to  decide  our 
fate. 

LETTER. 

"Dearest  Yvonne, — 

"  I  cannot  express  to  you  the  pain  your  last 
letter  has  given  me.  My  effort  in  French  was 
evidently  ridiculous  in  your  eyes,  and  each  short 
note  you  have  written  since  we  parted  has  con- 
vinced me  how  little  you  care  for  me.  Without 
regard  for  my  feelings  you  speak  of  this  Tom, 
the  brother  of  your  friend,  with  exaggerated  terms 
of  affection;  and  you  inform  me  that  he  en- 
grosses much  of  your  time  and  thought.  I 
wish  you  to  realize  that  I  am  only  a  poor  army 
officer  at  the  very  beginning  of  his  career;  your 
visits  to  all  these  rich  and  brilliant  people  may 
have  opened  your  eyes  to  the  life  which  awaits 
you  at  my  side.  In  all  fairness  to  yourself,  in  all 
fairness  to  me,  reconsider  your  promise.  I  await 
your  decision.  I  love  you  as  passionately  as  ever, 
but  I  feel  certain  that  you  are  too  young  and  too 
inexperienced  to  know  your  own  mind.  Your 
always  faithful  but  unhappy, 

"JOSEPH  HILL." 


LENOX  157 

In  the  train  I  composed  a  rough  copy  of  my 
answer. 

LETTER. 

"  Dear  Lieutenant  Hill, — 

(I  know  now  the  right  way  of  addressing  him.) 
"  Your  suspicions  of  my  fidelity  are  very  unjust  and 
show  you  do  not  understand  me  at  all.  Tom,  of 
whom  you  are  jealous,  is  aged  —  10  years.  I  am 
very  fond  of  him,  which  is  .all  natural  for  he  is 
a  very  nice  boy,  and  he  gave  me  as  a  token  of 
his  affection  his  favorite  pet  —  a  toad.  I  am 
carrying  it  about  with  me  which  is  not  very  con- 
venient. As  for  your  not  being  rich,  that  is  to 
me  indifferent,  if  only  I  do  not  have  to  live  in 
tenements  in  hot  weather  and  do  not  suffer  too 
much  from  hunger;  otherwise  I  love  not  riches  as 
I  observe  their  owners  are  not  happier  for  them. 
That  I  am  young  and  inexperienced  is  not  my 
fault,  although  it  has  often  been  applied  to  me  as 
a  reproach.  I  grow  older  every  day,  and  I  ac- 
cumulate experiences  every  minute.  Oh,  so  many, 
you  would  be  surprised.  I  hope  I  have  justified 
myself  and  you  will  retire  your  accusations.  But 
as  for  my  loving  you  very  much?  Very  frankly 
I  do  not  think  I  do,  and  when  I  accepted  you  I 
did  not  know  it  was  necessary,  as  long  as  you  were 
honorable  and  I  liked  you;  but  my  new  experi- 
ences make  me  think  otherwise,  and  I  am  now  of 


158  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

your  opinion  that  ardent  love  may  be  obligatory. 
Ardent  love  I  have  never  felt,  except  for  my 
country.  I  could  have  waited  till  I  saw  you  to 
decide,  but  as  you  wish  to  know  at  once,  I  think 
we  had  better  renounce  the  idea  of  espousing  our- 
selves. I  am  very  sorry  if  you  are  unhappy.  I 
have  not  yet  finished  the  History  of  the  United 
States. 

"  Sincerely  yours, 

"  YVONNE." 

I  know  now  how  to  terminate  in  the  English 
manner. 

So  at  present,  I  am  free;  I  do  not  know  if  I 
am  pleased  or  sorry;  but  when  I  love  someone 
with  all  my  heart,  with  an  ardent  passion,  I  may 
better  understand  the  joys  of  marriage. 

I  became  more  and  more  hungry;  I  tried  to  con- 
sole myself  by  thinking  that  the  little  girl  and  her 
family  had  milk  and  food,  but  the  idea  did  more 
nourish  my  soul  than  my  stomach. 

When  the  kind  gentleman  returned  we  were 
stopping  at  a  station ;  he  said,  "  You  still  look 
rather  pale,  the  air  is  fresher  here,  come  out,  it 
will  do  you  good." 

He  seemed  to  enjoy  taking  care  of  me.  I  arose 
to  follow  him,  but  I  was  again  very  dizzy,  and  I 
had  for  an  instant  to  hold  on  to  the  chair.  We 
had  ascended  into  the  hills,  and  the  air  was  deli- 


LENOX  159 

clous ;  I  at  once  thought  of  Anna  Engel,  and  I  asked 
him  if  it  would  be  possible  to  find  a  place,  some- 
where in  the  high  regions  for  a  consumptive.  He 
asked  me  several  questions,  and  I  told  him  all 
about  her;  he  said  he  thought  he  could  arrange 
to  have  her  placed  in  a  home,  where  consumptives 
have  a  chance  to  get  well  and  strong.  He  was  so 
sympathetic  and  seemed  to  know  so  much  about 
the  poor  that  I  told  him  about  my  two  days  at  the 
Settlement,  and  we  reached  Pittsfield  before  I 
thought  it  could  be  possible  for  the  minutes  to  go  so 
quickly. 

This  time  when  I  arose,  everything  turned  black 
before  my  eyes,  and  I  had  to  seize  his  arm  so 
as  not  to  fall.  He  asked  me  no  questions  but 
helped  me  out  of  the  train  in  so  careful  a  manner 
that  I  was  touched,  and  he  carried  my  bag,  and  my 
book,  and  Israel. 

I  knew  I  had  to  take  another  train  for  Lenox, 
and  I  asked  him  to  show  it  to  me. 

He  said,  "  I  am  not  going  to  let  you  take  the 
train.  I  have  a  trap  here  and  I  shall  drive  you 
over ;  Lenox  is  on  my  way  home." 

Why  should  I  refuse  so  agreeable  an  invitation? 
I  accepted  with  gratitude. 

He  helped  me  up  to  the  front  seat  of  the 
carriage,  and  drove  himself  a  beautiful  pair  of 
horses.  I  breathed  with  full  lungs  the  air  so  fresh, 
and  looked  with  admiration  upon  the  hills;  I  re- 


160  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

joiced  myself  to  be  once  more  in  the  country. 
After  driving  some  time  in  silence,  he  said  : 

"  May  I  ask  what  that  Maillard  box  contains?  I 
supposed  you  carried  sandwiches,  but  just  now  I 
thought  something  jumped  inside."/ 

I  said,  "  Oh,  yes,  it  is  Israel,  Tom's  toad  which 
he  gave  to  me  as  a  souvenir  from  Bar  Harbor;  it 
has  not  been  very  convenient." 

"  Have  you  had  anything  to  eat  ?  " 

"  No,"  I  answered,  "  I  gave  all  my  money  away, 
but  it  does  not  matter." 

"  Not  for  once,"  he  said,  "  but  I  never  saw  a 
child  who  needed  more  some  one  to  take  care  of 
it,  than  you  do." 

"  You  have  taken  care  of  me  twice,"  I  said  a  little 
shyly. 

"  I  shall  always  be  happy  to  do  it  again,"  he  an- 
swered, and  then  he  talked  pleasantly  of  various 
things. 

I  told  him  I  was  going  to  stay  with  my  Cousin 
Carolina  Short,  and  he  seemed  to  know  where  she 
lived.  As  we  drove  up  the  avenue  he  said :  — "  I 
shall  come  and  see  you  soon." 

I  thanked  him  for  all  he  had  done  for  me.  He 
drove  away.  I  felt  all  of  a  sudden  a  terrible  lone- 
liness, as  if  he  were  my  only  friend,  and  I  was 
abandoned  among  strangers. 

A  maid  answered  the  door;  she  said  Miss  Short 
had  gone  to  the  Lenox  station  to  meet  me,  and 


LENOX  161 

she  asked  me  to  wait  in  the  parlor.  I  sat  in  a 
dark  room  with  all  the  shades  down,  and  I  felt 
more  and  more  miserable  and  oppressed. 

After  a  long  while  I  heard  a  carriage  arrive, 
and  soon  an  elderly  lady  entered  the  room.  She 
had  gray  hair,  and  a  perfectly  flat  figure,  and  she 
resembled  a  little  Cousin  Henry;  she  seemed  very- 
much  agitated. 

"  I  suppose  you  are  Yvonne  Carrington?  " 

"  Yes,  Cousin  Carolina,"  I  answered,  and  she 
kissed  me  awkwardly  as  if  she  were  not  in  the 
habit  of  it. 

"  How  did  you  get  here  ?  I  drove  to  the  station 
to  meet  you,  and  was  very  much  upset  not  to  find 
you." 

"  I  am  sorry  you  were  inconvenienced  but  I 
was  driven  over  from  Pittsfield." 

"With  your  trunk?" 

"  Oh,  no,  the  gentleman  who  drove  me  over  had 
not  the  place  for  it." 

"  What  gentleman?  a  friend  of  yours?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  but  I  do  not  know  his  name." 

"  You  do  not  mean  to  say  you  drove  with  a 
stranger  whose  name  you  do  not  know ;  it  is  most 
extraordinary  conduct." 

I  do  not  know  if  it  were  her  tone  of  reproach 

or  that  queer  weakness  which  returned,  but  I  burst 

out  crying,  quite  violently.     This  disturbed  Cousin 

Carolina,  and  she  led  me  quickly  to  my  room  re- 

ii 


162  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

peating,  "  Hush,  hush,  child,  don't  cry."  And  I 
began  to  laugh  and  cry  at  the  same  time.  She 
then  called  to  the  maid :  "  Send  for  the  doctor," 
and  that  brought  me  to  my  senses;  I  stopped  and 
said,  "  No,  please  —  I  am  all  right."  And  then  I 
was  quiet,  and  she  helped  me  off  with  my  hat  and 
made  me  lie  down. 

"  We  don't  have  afternoon  tea  in  summer,"  she 
said,  "  and  we  dine  at  half  past  seven.  I  have 
asked  some  ladies  to  meet  you,  so  try  and  get  a 
good  rest,"  and  she  left  the  room. 

I  lay  down  a  long  time.  I  drank  a  quantity  of 
water  and  took  a  bath,  and'  after  getting  fresh 
clothes  from  the  box  which  had  been  sent  to  me  from 
West  Point,  I  felt  more  presentable;  and  although 
very  weak,  I  went  downstairs  with  a  devouring 
hunger.  At  last  we  went  to  table;  there  were  six 
ladies  beside  ourselves;  all  quite  old,  so  it  was  not 
an  amusing  dinner,  but  I  did  not  care,  for  I  was 
so  happy  to  be  able  to  eat,  and  I  never  tasted  a 
more  delicious  repast.  After  dinner  four  of  the 
ladies  played  Bridge.  I  was  asked  to  play,  but  I 
do  not  know  how,  which  annoyed  Cousin  Carolina, 
so  she  and  I  and  two  other  ladies  were  obliged  to 
converse;  I  wondered  why  they  sat  not  outside  on 
such  a  beautiful  evening. 

"  I  saw  Mr.  Dale  drive  through  the  village  this 
afternoon,"  said  one  lady  who  was  thin,  with  a  long 
nose. 


LENOX  163 

"  I  hear  his  consumptives'  home  is  enlarged," 
said  the  other ;  "  it  is  very  unpleasant  to  have  con- 
sumptives established  in  the  neighborhood." 

"  Yes,"  said  Cousin  Carolina,  "  it  is  very  incon- 
siderate of  him  to  do  such  a  thing,  but  then  we  all 
know  he  is  a  very  selfish,  eccentric  man;  I  have 
asked  him  repeatedly  to  my  teas  and  card-parties, 
and  he  has  always  refused;  so  now  I  shall  not  ask 
him  again  even  if  he  begs  for  an  invitation." 

"  He  is  so  conceited  and  stingy,"  said  the  thin 
lady ;  "  I  wrote  and  asked  him  for  money, —  and 
you  know  he  is  as  rich  as  Croesus, —  for  a  temporary 
home  for  dogs  with  distemper, —  so  inconvenient 
and  painful  to  have  them  round, —  just  like  children 
with  measles, —  and  would  you  believe  it,  his  sec- 
retary wrote  a  note  of  refusal  and  I  have  never 
heard  from  Mr.  Dale  himself." 

"  Are  you  girls  talking  of  Herbert  Dale ;  I  adore 
him !  "  shrieked  a  lady  at  the  card  table  whom  I 
noticed  gave  herself  airs  of  youth ;  "  he  is  a  perfect 
fascinator!  Why,  Carolina  Short,  you  never  told 
us  you  had  a  box  of  Maillard  candy !  I  adore  Mail- 
lard  candy !  " 

Before  I  could  stop  her,  she  jumped  up  and 
opened  the  box  over  the  table  so  Israel  fell  out 
and  hopped  among  the  cards.  The  ladies  all  be- 
gan to  scream  and  pushed  back  their  chairs  so  vio- 
lently that  several  chairs  fell  over.  And  the  table, 
the  cards,  and  Israel  all  tumbled  down  together. 


164  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Cousin  Carolina  became  very  red  and  said,  "  Who 
has  been  playing  a  practical  joke  on  me,  like  this?  " 

I  advanced  myself  and  said:  "  Cousin  Carolina, 
I  am  very  sorry,  but  it  is  no  joke;  it  is  a  toad  I 
brought  from  Bar  Harbor ;  it  was  given  to  me  as  a 
present." 

"  Take  the  creature  away,"  called  several  ladies 
who  had  gathered  their  skirts  together  as  if  they 
thought  Israel  was  a  mouse  who  would  run  up  their 
legs. 

"  I  regret,"  I  said,  "  I  cannot,  for  I  have  a  horror 
of  touching  a  toad,  but  he  will  do  no  harm." 

Cousin  Carolina  looked  very  angry  and  said,  "  La- 
dies, as  Yvonne  is  unable  to  rid  us  of  the  animal 
she  has  brought  with  her,  we  shall  adjourn  to  an- 
other room ;  the  gardener  will  remove  it  in  the  morn- 
ing." 

All  the  ladies  describing  a  wide  circle  from  where 
Israel  was  hopping  among  the  cards,  retired  to 
another  parlor.  I  felt  humiliated  by  their  reproach- 
ful glances  and  I  slipped  off  to  my  room,  and  there 
I  have  written  for  over  an  hour. 

I  shall  not  be  happy  with  Cousin  Carolina,  and 
of  course  I  have  displeased  her  very  much.  Alas! 
I  have  to  remain  here  two  or  three  days.  Cousin 
Henry  is  coming  to-morrow  to  pass  Sunday,  and 
to  take  me  back  to  my  dear  grandmother,  whom  I 
have  such  a  longing  to  see.  When  I  was  amusing 
myself  my  longing  was  not  so  great,  but  now,  oh, 


LENOX  165 

yes,  I  want  to  be  with  her  and  not  leave  her  till  my 
departure. 

Although  the  people  here  please  me  not  and  I 
am  not  happy,  yet  I  like  to  sit  at  my  window  and 
listen  to  all  the  soft  voices  of  the  night.  They 
have  never  sounded  so  melodious  to  me  before.  I 
think  of  all  the  poor,  hot  people  in  their  tenements, 
and  oh,  I  thank  God,  that  their  lot  is  not  mine; 
but  I  want  to  help  them,  and  I  hope  I  shall  some 
day. 


XVII 

AUGUST  9th.     I  have  spent  two  days  of  com- 
plete boredom ;  every  hour  I  pass  here  be- 
comes more  intolerable;  my  only  compensation  is, 
that  I  am  reposing  myself  completely,   for  I  was 
very  tired. 

I  have  decided  to  separate  myself  from  Israel, 
for  his  greater  happiness  and  for  mine  ;  the  gardener 
has  put  him  in  a  nice  cool  place  among  hydrangeas, 
and  I  have  written  to  explain  it  all  to  Tom ;  I  hope 
he  will  not  be  wounded  at  my  lack  of  appreciation 
of  his  present,  but  a  toad  as  traveling  companion 
causes  many  annoyances. 

I  do  not  think  that  Cousin  Carolina  finds  me  to 
her  taste.  Her  effort  to  be  amiable  is  very  evidently 
a  great  one ;  to  distract  me  she  took  me  yesterday 
in  her  carriage  to  a  Church  Bazaar,  and  also  to 
call  upon  several  old  ladies;  they  said  there  were 
very  few  gentlemen  at  Lenox  in  August,  so  they 
have  "  hen  parties  " ;  I  should  prefer  "  chicken  par- 
ties "  of  young  persons  instead.  Thus  the  hours 
passed  slowly  yesterday.  I  had  hoped  the  kind  gen- 
tleman would  come  to  see  me,  but  he  did  not,  nor 
has  he  been  here  to-day. 

166 


s 

LENOX  167 

This  afternoon  Cousin  Henry  arrived.  Oh,  how 
he  does  displease  me!  He  takes  possession  of  me 
as  if  I  belonged  to  him,  and  evidently  Cousin  Car- 
olina was  glad  to  be  relieved  of  my  care. 

I  am  enormously  annoyed  for  I  intended  to  re- 
turn to  my  grandmother,  Monday,  and  I  was  count- 
ing the  minutes  until  my  departure,  when  Cousin 
Henry  informed  me  he  had  obtained  her  permission 
to  have  me  remain  until  Wednesday.  He  had  ar- 
ranged to  leave  his  office  on  a  holiday  for  that  length 
of  time,  so  as  to  escort  me  back;  he  had  affairs  to 
attend  to  in  Lenox  for  his  sister  until  then.  I 
reasoned  and  argued,  and  said  I  could  not  bear 
being  away  from  my  grandmother  so  long,  but  he 
treated  me  as  usual  —  like  a  foolish  child.  I  had 
to  run  to  my  room  so  as  not  to  burst  out  crying  in 
his  presence. 

I  feel  like  a  captive,  like  a  bird  with  clipped  wings ! 
Just  before  dinner  I  escaped  to  go  to  the  Post,  to 
see  if  I  had  any  letters;  I  met  there  a  lady  whom 
I  had  known  at  Bar  Harbor,  Mrs.  Edward  Lacy, 
and  I  nearly  embraced  her  with  pleasure  at  seeing 
someone  who  recalled  to  me  those  happy  days.  She 
is  not  very  old,  not  quite  thirty,  I  think,  and  is  very 
pretty,  and  has  a  nice,  jolly  husband.  She  is  very 
amiable;  she  asked  me  where  I  was  staying,  and 
would  I  not  come  to  her  for  a  visit.  She  lives  at 
Stockbridge,  and  I  said  I  should  like  to  come  very, 
very  much.  At  that  instant  appeared  like  a  spectre 


1 68  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

at  my  side,  Cousin  Henry  —  he  knew  Mrs.  Lacy 
and  she  invited  us  both  to  lunch,  to-morrow,  Sun- 
day. I  would  have  preferred  to  go  alone. 

As  we  walked  back  to  the  house,  I  asked  Cousin 
Henry  if  Mr.  Dale  of  Stockbridge  lived  near  the 
Lacy's. 

"  Yes,"  said  Cousin  Henry,  "  about  a  mile  off,  at 
Rilldale." 

"  Rilldale !  "  I  said,  "  what  a  pretty  name." 

"  It  was  called  that  way  because  a  brook  runs 
through  the  meadows." 

"  Do  you  think,"  I  asked,  "  that  Mr.  Dale  is  a 
philanthropist,  or  a  perfect  fascinator?  " 

"  He  is  neither,"  said  Cousin  Henry ;  "  what  ab- 
surd questions  you  ask,  Yvonne.  He  is  a  man  full 
of  fads  and  fancies;  he  goes  out  in  society  very 
little;  he  associates  somewhat  with  artists  and  Bo- 
hemians; a  pretty  good*  sort  of  fellow,  but  I  should 
find  difficulty  in  accurately  determining  his  real 
character." 

"  I  think,"  I  said,  "  that  Evelyn  also  thought  it 
was  difficult  for  other  people  to  understand  him ;  I 
should  like  much  to  know  him." 

"  I  doubt  if  you  get  a  chance,"  said  Cousin 
Henry ;  "  it  is  about  ten  years  since  he  has  paid 
the  slightest  attention  to  a  young  girl,  and  you  are 
still  very  immature,  my  dear  Yvonne." 

"  Yes,  Cousin  Henry,"  I  said  with  a  meek  ex- 


LENOX  169 

pression,  "  you  must  find  me  very  dull  as  I  am  so 
much  younger  than  you  are."  And  I  ran  up  to  my 
room.  I  am  curious  to  see  Mr.  Dale.  Why  is  it 
ten  years  since  young  girls  interested  him  ? 

At  dinner  Cousin  Carolina  told  Cousin  Henry 
that  a  gentleman  had  driven  me  over  from  Pitts- 
field,  whose  name  I  did  not  know ;  whereupon 
Cousin  Henry  began  to  preach  me  a  sermon. 

"  My  dear  Yvonne,  you  think  in  America  because 
a  girl  has  more  freedom,  that  everything  is  per- 
missible. To  accept  an  invitation  from  a  man  you 
do  not  know,  to  drive  that  distance  with  a  total 
stranger,  is  the  inconceivable  acme  of  bad  taste.  If 
he  is  a  gentleman,  he  must  think  you  a  very  peculiar 
young  person.  Allow  me  to  tell  you,  my  dear 
Yvonne — " 

"  No,  I  will  not  allow  you  to  tell  me  anything 
more !  "  I  said,  rising  from  the  table  and  stamping 
my  foot  with  exasperation  —  just  as  I  do  at  Fraii- 
lein  when  she  irritates  me  beyond  measure.  "  You 
are  not  my  guardian,  Cousin  Henry,  nor  my  tutor, 
and  I  am  under  no  obligations  to  accept  your  ad- 
vice. Please  excuse  me,  Cousin  Carolina,  my  head 
is  aching  badly.  Good-night." 

I  went  to  my  room  where  I  remained  a  long  time 
at  my  window,  watching  the  stars,  and  wondering 
if  the  kind  gentleman  did  think  me  a  peculiar  young 
person  —  that  is  perhaps  why  he  has  not  been  to 


1 70  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

see  me.  If  he  comes  not,  I  shall  write  to  Mr.  Dale 
and  ask  if  there  is  a  place  in  the  Home  for  Anna 
Engel;  if  Mr.  Dale  sees  me  not,  his  objections  to 
young  girls  will  not  prejudice  him  against  me. 


STOCKBRIDGE 


XVIII 

AUGUST  loth.  Sunday  morning,  my  cousins 
do  not  breakfast  till  half-past  nine,  and  it 
was  long  before  that  when  I  wandered  in  the  garden, 
as  is  my  habit.  It  was  a  delicious  morning,  with  a 
mist  over  the  hills  and  all  the  flowers  were  opening 
their  petals  to  bid  the  sun  good-day;  although  I 
was  afflicted  to  dwell  with  people  I  do  not  like, 
yet  the  earth  was  too  beautiful  not  to  rejoice  therein. 

I  passed  the  stable  where  the  old  coachman  was 
grooming  a  little  horse,  and  we  began  to  converse. 
I  told  him  how  much  I  liked  riding,  and  he  told  me 
the  horse  he  was  rubbing  down  was  the  best  saddle 
horse  he  knew;  he  had  been  a  polo  pony,  now  he 
was  only  used  in  harness.  A  great  desire  seized 
me  to  ride  him,  so  I  begged  the  coachman  to  bridle 
him  for  me;  I  assured  him  that  I  was  quite  in  the 
habit  of  riding  without  a  saddle;  at  first  he  would 
not,  but  I  begged  so  hard  that  he  finally  said : 

"  One  can't  deny  you,  Miss,"  and  he  mounted  me. 

Oh,  I  was  so  happy  as  I  rode  quietly  through 
the  back  gate,  and  the  pony  was  in  truth  a  dear  little 
animal.  I  rode  astride ;  I  was  dressed  in  a  pink 
linen  frock  and  a  pink  muslin  hat,  but  it  was  an  early 

i73 


174  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

hour,  and  there  was  fortunately  no  one  to  see  me. 
Besides,  I  do  not  mind  a  scolding  if  the  pleasure 
is  great  enough  to  compensate,  and  as  I  rode  away 
in  the  fresh  morning  air,  I  felt  free  and  joyous, 
for  the  first  time  in  many  days. 

The  pony  had  delicious  gaits,  and  I  made  him 
to  gallop.  I  think  he  enjoyed  the  promenade  as 
much  as  I ;  for  there  is  sympathy  between  a  horse 
and  his  rider,  and  it  is  surely  more  honorable  for  a 
horse  to  bear  a  person  on  his  back  who  caresses 
him  than  to  draw  a  carriage. 

I  felt  intoxicated  with  the  morning  so  fresh,  and 
the  sun  not  too  hot,  and  I  went  on  and  on  without 
thinking  of  the  direction  that  I  took.  After  a  while, 
I  stopped  under  the  shade  of  a  great  elm ;  I  listened 
to  the  song  of  the  birds,  for  like  me  they  are  more 
joyous  in  the  morning;  and  the  little  insects  were 
beginning  to  rejoice  in  the  increasing  heat  and  to 
hum  more  loudly;  and  I  could  hear  church  bells  in 
the  far  distance;  the  sounds  of  nature  and  the 
church  bells  seemed  to  summon  the  whole  creation 
to  praise  God. 

I  understood  now  why  my  grandmother  wished 
me  to  visit  Lenox;  she  comes  here  herself  in  the 
Autumn,  for  it  is  oh,  so  beautiful,  and  as  I  gazed 
at  the  hills  that  surrounded  me  they  looked  violet 
in  the  distance;  a  beautiful  lake  was  visible  below 
me.  I  went  on,  guided  by  a  vague  desire  to  pur- 
sue the  road  as  it  rose  higher  and  led  me  through 


STOCKBRIDGE  175 

unknown  country.  I  had  no  watch  and  knew  not 
the  hour;  but  one  does  not  wish  to  count  the  min- 
utes when  the  moments  are  pleasantest,  especially 
when  the  return  leads  to  displeasure  and  annoy- 
ance. 

I  was  thirsty,  I  was  hungry,  and  I  thought  I 
would  stop  at  a  farm  and  ask  the  peasants  for  a 
glass  of  milk,  as  I  have  done  in  Swiss  Mountains 
sometimes.  I  slid  off  the  pony  in  front  of  a  little 
house,  and  tied  the  bridle  to  a  branch.  I  went  to 
the  door  and  knocked,  but  no  one  answered ;  then  I 
walked  to  the  back,  and  no  one  was  there,  just  a 
few  hens  pecking  the  ground;  the  people  had  all 
gone  to  church;  I  made  up  mind  I  must  return  to 
Lenox  and  let  the  pony  guide  me  back. 

At  that  moment,  I  heard  a  horse  trotting,  and 
running  to  the  road  I  saw  the  pony  galloping  away, 
back  in  the  direction  we  had  come.  I  called  and  ran 
after  him,  but  he  went  only  the  faster,  and  hot 
and  tired,  I  sat  down  on  a  wall.  Not  a  human  being 
could  I  perceive  —  and  no  houses  either  —  as  the 
hill  was  covered  with  trees. 

It  was  a  little  discouraging  to  be  abandoned  like 
this,  far  from  home,  in  a  country  so  solitary.  I 
decided  to  walk  till  I  found  an  inhabited  house,  so 
I  arose  and  marched  through  the  dust,  the  heat  be- 
coming greater.  After  a  long  moment  I  arrived  to 
an  avenue,  which  led  from  the  road ;  it  was  well 
kept  and  looked  as  if  it  belonged  to  a  private  do- 


176  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

main;  this  was  encouraging,  so  I  followed  it,  being 
convinced  it  would  lead  me  to  a  house.  I  walked 
and  walked  indefinitely  through  a  fine  forest  and  I 
observed  the  underbrush  was  cleared  and  the  trees 
trimmed  as  they  are  in  Europe;  a  bridge  crossed 
over  a  stream. 

I  decided  at  last  that  this  road  had  no  end  and 
that  I  was  quite  lost ;  I  was  so  fatigued  my  legs 
would  no  longer  support  me.  I  was  abandoning 
all  hope  of  ever  reaching  a  habitation  or  seeing  a 
human  being  again,  when  the  avenue  turned  and  I 
saw  a  white  villa;  revived  at  this  view,  I  rapidly 
approached  it.  A  broad  terrace  stretched  in  front 
of  the  house  and  on  the  side  there  was  a  porch 
covered  with  roses.  I  found  a  bell  which  I  rang. 
A  domestic  appeared. 

"  Who  inhabits  here?  "  I  asked. 

"Mr.  Herbert  Dale,  Miss,"  he  answered. 

Oh,  I  thought,  how  fortunate ;  he  is  a  philan- 
thropist, he  will  let  me  a  rest  a  moment.  I  then 
said: 

"  May  I  sit  here  for  a  while,  and  do  you  think 
Mr.  Dale  would  let  me  have  a  glass  of  milk?  " 

"  Yes,  Miss,"  said  the  man ;  "  but  won't  you  come 
to  the  front  of  the  house?  this  is  the  back  entrance." 

"  No,  thank  you,"  I  answered ;  "  it  is  very  nice ; 
I  will  stay  here." 

"Whom  shall  I  say,  Miss?" 

"  Mr.  Dale  does  not  know  me ;  do  not  disturb 


STOCKBRIDGE  177 

him,  but  oh,  yes  — "  I  suddenly  thought  of  Anna 
Engel  — "  tell  him  I  want  to  speak  to  him  about  a 
young  consumptive." 

The  man  looked  at  me  with  surprise  and  departed. 
I  leaned  against  the  pillar  of  the  porch  all  sur- 
rounded by  roses  and  wondered  what  air  Mr.  Dale 
would  have;  for  every  one  spoke  of  him  so  differ- 
ently, judging  him  really  according  to  their  own 
natures ;  and  I  wished, —  oh,  I  wished  it  were  some 
one  else  who  has  come  twice  to  my  succor  before. 
I  have  only  one  superstition, —  that  is,  that  the 
number  three  brings  good  luck ;  the  Germans  'say, 
" Alle  gute  Dinge  sind  drel."  And  oh,  what  joy! 
my  wish  came  true;  I  saw  my  kind  friend  of  the 
train  approaching  quickly  towards  me. 

I  held  out  my  two  hands  to  him,  saying :  "  Oh, 
I  am  so  glad  it  is  you ;  for  the  third  time  you  have 
come  to  my  assistance." 

He  took  my  hands  and  looked  at  me  wonderingly 
and  yet  with  pleasure,  and  as  if  answering  my 
thought,  he  said : 

"Alle  gute  Dinge  sind  drei!  I  am  glad  to  see 
you  once  more ;  please  follow  me,"  and  he  led  me 
inside;  it  was  deliciously  fresh  and  I  rejoiced  to  be 
out  of  the  heat. 

"  Come  into  the  library,"  he  said  and  we  entered 
a  great,  big  room  lined  with  books,  with  an  enor- 
mous writing  desk,  where  it  was  evident  someone 
had  just  been  writing.  "  I  was  told  a  young  lady 
12 


178  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

wanted  a  glass  of  milk,  can  I  not  give  you  something 
else?" 

"  If  Mr.  Dale  does  not  mind,"  I  said,  "  perhaps  I 
might  also  have  a  piece  of  bread." 

I  saw  the  domestic's  eyes  were  big  with  aston- 
ishment; while  my  friend  gave  him  directions  I 
looked  out  of  the  glass  door  which  led  on  the 
terrace  from  which  there  was  a  superb  view ;  he 
came  towards  me,  and  made  me  sit  down  in  a  big 
leather  arm  chair,  and  showed  me  all  the  solicitude, 
which  I  am  now  accustomed  to  receive  from  him. 
In  truth,  I  felt  as  if  he  were  an  old  friend. 

"  Are  you  staying  with  Mr.  Dale?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  am  Herbert  Dale,"  he  answered. 

"  You !  "  I  exclaimed  and  jumped  up.  "  Oh,  how 
extraordinary!  Then  you  are  the  philanthropist, 
you  are  Bobby's  uncle,  you  are  the  traveler  and  the 
humanitarian  Evelyn  admires  so  much,  you  are  the 
perfect  fascinator  the  old  lady  spoke  of,  and  then  it 
was  you,  Mr.  Dale,  whose  photograph  was  behind 
mine  in  that  Sunday  journal." 

"  Yes,"  he  said  smiling,  "  and  it  was  through  that 
article  that  I  recognized  the  likeness  of  my  travel- 
ing companion  who  had  lost  her  ticket  in  the  train, 
and  I  have  followed  ever  since  the  career  of  Miss 
Carrington  with  the  greatest  interest." 

He  opened  a  drawer  of  his  writing  table  and 
took  out  a  small  piece  of  cardboard  on  which  was 


STOCKBRIDGE  179 

pasted  my  portrait  and  handed  it  to  me.  Yes,  it 
was  the  same  cutting  Evelyn  and  I  had  quarreled 
over. 

"  I  stayed  at  Newport,"  he  said,  "  with  your 
aunt,  Mrs.  King,  a  few  days  after  you  had  left, 
and  Mischief  confided  to  me  her  great  love  and 
admiration  for  you;  your  name  has  appeared  sev- 
eral times  in  the  social  news  of  the  papers;  at  the 
Settlement  I  saw  by  chance  your  graceful  perform- 
ance before  those  girls,  but  you  refused  to  let  me 
be  introduced  to  you." 

"  Oh,"  I  said,  "  you  were  then  the  gentleman  with 
Evelyn.  How  strange  a  hazard  we  should  have 
traveled  again  together  the  next  day." 

"  It  was  not  quite  an  accident ;  your  cousin  told 
me  what  train  you  were  taking  for  Lenox  and  I 
found  it  convenient  to  take  the  same,  and  now,  will 
you  tell  me  what  happy  chance  brought  you  here 
to-day?  When  I  saw  you  on  the  porch  in  your 
pink  dress,  you  looked  like  a  fairy  rose  among 
the  roses.  Have  you  run  away  from  the  respectable 
Miss  Carolina  Short  ?  " 

At  that  moment  the  domestic  brought  in  a  tray 
with  all  sorts  of  delicious  things,  and  I  sat  down 
to  the  best  morning  repast  I  have  ever  eaten.  I 
told  Mr.  Dale  my  adventure  of  the  morning;  he 
laughed  several  times  but  when  I  had  finished  he 
said: 


i8o  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  Your  cousins  must  be  very  much  worried  about 
you.  I  shall  telephone  to  them  at  once  and  drive 
you  back,  for  it  is  nearly  twelve  o'clock." 

"  Oh,  but!  "  I  said,  "  I  wanted  so  much  to  lunch 
to-day  with  Mrs.  Lacy;  it  was  the  only  nice  thing  I 
was  going  to  do  during  my  whole  visit  to  Lenox." 

"  Then  I  shall  drive  you  to  her  house ;  she  lives 
only  a  mile  from  here,  and  your  cousin  can  come 
for  you  there." 

He  went  to  the  door  and  as  he  passed  me,  I 
shyly  detained  him  by  putting  my  finger  on  his  arm 
and  looked  up  at  him. 

"  Mr.  Dale,"  I  said,  "  can't  I  stay  here  a  little 
longer?  I  am  so  happy;  it  is  the  middle  of  the 
day  and  very  hot  out  of  doors,  and  we  shall  be  too 
early  for  lunch,  or  perhaps,"  and  I  rose  and  folded 
my  hands  before  me  — "  perhaps  it  is  true  what 
Cousin  Carolina  said,  because  I  drove  with  you, 
without  knowing  your  name,  you  disapprove  of  me, 
and  think  me  a  very  peculiar  young  person." 

"  I  think,"  he  said  impulsively,  "  that  you  are  an 
adorable  child,  and  that  you  greatly  need  someone 
to  take  care  of  you." 

I  looked  about  me  after  he  had  gone.  It  was  a 
room  in  which  one  felt  at  ease,  books  are  such  good, 
silent  companions,  and  I  imagined  in  cold  weather 
a  great  cheerful  fire  burning  in  the  beautiful  big 
chimney.  There  were  three  long  windows  opening 
on  the  terrace  and  the  view  was  over  distant  moun- 


STOCKBRIDGE  181 

tains ;  on  a  small  table  were  photographs.  I  divined 
they  were  members  of  his  family;  there  was  a  pic- 
ture of  a  little  boy  with  curly  hair  who  must  be 
Bobby.  I  carefully  observed  everything  so  as  to 
remember  long  each  detail,  and  as  I  stood  by  the 
table  I  saw  a  letter  addressed  to  myself. 

Mr.  Dale  entered  the  room  and  I  took  the  letter 
to  him.  "  You  were  writing  to  me,"  I  said. 

"  Yes,"  he  answered,  "  about  your  consumptive 
girl.  I  can  arrange  to  have  her  come  here  next 
week." 

"  You  were  not  coming  to  see  me  then?  "  I  asked 
with  a  queer  feeling  of  disappointment. 

"  I  thought  it  better  to  write,"  he  answered.  "  I 
am  going  to-morrow  to  New  York.  I  have  also 
written  to  the  Doctor  at  the  hospital  to  have  Anna 
Engel  accompanied  by  a  nurse."  He  took  the  letter 
from  me  and  tore  it  up.  "  Your  cousins,"  he  went 
on  — "  have  been  much  upset  over  your  disappear- 
ance. Mr.  Short  is  at  present  wandering  about  the 
country  looking  for  you ;  the  pony  had  just  arrived 
and  they  thought  you  had  had  an  accident." 

"  Oh,"  I  said  with  a  deep  sigh  — "  I  can  imagine 
how  contraried  Cousin  Carolina  will  be,  and  Cousin 
Henry  will  preach  me  such  a  long  sermon ;  they  will 
think  worse  of  me  than  ever.  I  wish  I  had  not  to 
go  back  to  them." 

The  domestic  announced  the  carriage  was  at  the 
door.  I  looked  about  me  regretfully  and  said,  "  It 


182  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

is  so  nice  to  be  here;  I  should  like  to  stay.  It  is 
a  very  unkind  arrangement,  do  you  not  think,  that 
when  one  is  happy  time  runs  and  the  moments  are 
gone,  and  when  one  is  dull,  time  drags  so  slowly, 
so  slowly,  the  little  minutes  become  long  hours.  I 
wonder  if  I  shall  ever  be  here  again,"  and  at  the 
door  he  was  holding  open  for  me,  I  whispered  to 
the  room,  "  Auf  Wiedersehn." 

We  drove  in  a  phaeton  with  a  groom  behind. 
Several  houses  I  saw  on  his  estates  and  young  horses 
gamboling  in  the  prairies;  and  before  I  thought  we 
had  gone  but  a  few  metres,  we  drove  up  to  Mrs. 
Lacy's  door. 

He  said  good-bye  to  me  quite  cheerfully,  but  I 
felt  not  cheerful  to  say  good-bye  to  him,  for  I  feared 
I  should  never  see  him  again. 

Mrs.  Lacy  was  at  home  and  received  me  in  a 
most  kind  manner.  I  told  her  of  my  misadventure, 
and  my  lips  trembled,  as  when  I  was  a  child,  when  I 
said  how  I  dreaded  going  back  to  my  cousins,  be- 
cause now  I  was  in  utter  disgrace  with  them,  and 
I  longed  to  get  back  to  my  grandmother,  but  Cousin 
Henry  would  not  let  me  go  till  Wednesday,  so  as 
to  travel  with  him. 

"  Listen,"  said  Mrs.  Lacy;  "we  will  take  you  to 
New  York  with  us  to-morrow  when  we  go  to  Long 
Island.  We  are  going  in  our  automobile,  and  I 
wonder  if  we  could  not  find  a  fourth,  another 
man." 


STOCKBRIDGE  183 

"  Mr.  Dale  said  he  was  going  to  New  York  to- 
morrow," I  suggested. 

"  That 's  splendid,"  she  said;  "  we  could  not  have 
a  more  delightful  person.  I  know  him  well.  We 
shall  motor  over  to  Lenox  this  afternoon  to  get 
your  things,  and  you  '11  spend  the  night  here  as  we 
have  to  make  an  early  start." 

I  kissed  her  hand  with  effusion,  and  thanked  her 
oh !  so  joyfully. 

Cousin  Henry  had  telephoned  all  the  horses  were 
used  up  hunting  for  me,  so  he  could  not  come  to 
lunch.  Mrs.  Lacy  telephoned  to  Mr.  Dale  who  said 
he  would  go  with  us  with  pleasure.  I  was  so  joyous, 
my  heart  seemed  filled  with  little  springs  of  con- 
tentment. 

When  it  was  cool  in  the  afternoon  we  motored 
over  to  Lenox.  I  was  afraid  of  the  battle  before 
me,  for  I  knew  Cousin  Henry  would  not  wish  me 
to  leave  so  suddenly.  By  wonderful  good  luck  he 
saw  me  not,  and  I  was  shown  into  Cousin  Caro- 
lina's room;  she  was  lying  down  in  semi-darkness; 
the  blinds  were  closed;  she  had  a  wet  handkerchief 
on  her  forehead  which  indicated  she  had  a  head- 
ache. 

"  Well,  Yvonne,"  she  said  as  I  stood  at  the  foot 
of  her  bed,  "  you  have  caused  us  by  your  thoughtless 
behavior,  the  greatest  anxiety ;  we  thought  you  were 
killed,  and  until  two  o'clock  your  Cousin  Henry  and 
the  coachman  have  been  hunting  for  you  in  all  direc- 


184  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

tions.  When  I  heard  from  Mr.  Dale,  at  twelve 
o'clock,  that  he  had  picked  you  up  somewhere  I 
collapsed,  and  I  expect  as  a  result  one  of  my  three 
days'  headache,  when  I  am  utterly  prostrated." 

"  I  am  very  sorry,  Cousin  Carolina,"  I  stammered, 
"but—" 

'  There  is  no  use  in  being  sorry  afterwards," 
she  said,  like  the  queen  in  "  Alice«in  Wonderland," 
"  I  don't  know  what  you  will  do  with  yourself  for 
the  next  three  days,  for  I  feel  quite  incompetent  to 
look  after  you ;  and  I  shall  beg  you  not  to  leave  the 
house,  unless  my  brother  escorts  you;  he  is  also 
completely  worn  out  and  it  has  brought  on  one 
of  his  bilious  attacks;  now  leave  me;  I  wish  to  be 
entirely  quiet." 

"  Cousin  Carolina,"  I  said,  "  Mrs.  Lacy  has  asked 
me  to  spend  to-night  at  her  house  and  she  will  take 
me  home  to-morrow  to  my  grandmother's,  if  you 
do  not  mind." 

"  No,  I  do  not  mind  at  all,"  said  Cousin  Carolina 
sitting  up  as  if  the  idea  of  my  departure  had  re- 
vived her.  "  I  think  under  the  circumstances  it  is 
the  very  best  thing  you  can  do.  I  will  explain  it 
to  your  Cousin  Henry." 

"  Please  do,"  I  said,  and  hurriedly  took  my  leave, 
for  fear  he  might  appear. 

I  threw  all  my  things  into  my  trunk  and  then 
jumped  on  it.  It  would  be  too  horrible  if  Cousin 
Henry  should  prevent  my  going,  and  never  was  I 


STOCKBRIDGE  185 

so  relieved,  as  if  escaping  from  a  great  danger,  as 
when  we  safely  were  clear  of  the  house  on  our  way 
to  Stockbridge. 

In  the  evening  Cousin  Henry  telephoned  —  this 
is  what  he  said : 

He  — "  Yvonne,  I  will  not  reproach  you  for  run- 
ning away  from  us  as  you  did  this  morning;  your 
falling  off  the  horse  was  an  accident.  After  all  the 
anxiety  I  have  gone  through,  I  am  only  too  grateful 
to  know  you  are  well  and  alive,  but  I  wish  you  to 
return  to  us." 

I  — "  Cousin  Henry,  I  am  very  sorry  to  have 
troubled  you,  but  Cousin  Carolina  does  not  wish  me 
to  come  back." 

He  — "  You  are  my  guest,  Yvonne,  as  well  as 
hers,  and  I  cannot  let  you  go  away  like  this.  I 
am  unfortunately  rather  played  out  or  else  I  should 
have  driven  over  this  evening  to  get  you." 

I  — "  Cousin  Henry,  I  wish  you  to  know  I  did  not 
fall  off  the  horse;  he  left  me  — : 

He  — "  This  misfortune  was  not  your  fault ;  I 
have  explained  that  to  my  sister." 

I  — "  It  was  not  a  misfortune,  for  I  was  very 
fortunate  to  meet  Mr.  Dale,  and  I  breakfasted  in 
his  beautiful  house." 

He  — "  What  do  you  say  ?  " 

I  — "  I  say  I  visited  Mr.  Dale." 

He  — "  Were  you  alone  there  ?  " 

I  _«  Yes." 


186  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

He  — "  But  he  is  a  bachelor." 

I  — "  That  matters  nothing.  He  is  very  kind  and 
nice,  and  did  not  mind  my  being  immature." 

He  — "  What  do  you  say  ?  " 

I  — "  I  say  I  am  going  to  New  York  with  him 
to-morrow." 

He  — "  I  cannot  allow  it;  you  shall  do  nothing  of 
the  kind.  -What  train  do  you  take?  I  shall  join 
you  at  Stockbridge." 

I  — "  But  Cousin  Henry,  you  told  me  you  had 
business  affairs  which  detained  you  in  Lenox  till 
Wednesday;  besides  we  are  going  with  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Lacy  in  the  automobile;  there  is  no  room  for 
more.  Good-bye;  please  express  my  regrets  to 
Cousin  Carolina  for  the  annoyances  I  have  caused 
her."  And  I  rang  off  the  telephone  to  end  the  dis- 
cussion. I  wish  in  future  I  could  always  talk  to 
Cousin  Henry  at  the  end  of  a  telephone. 

My  day  has  been  full  of  adventures,  and  I  look 
forward  to  the  morrow  with  all  sorts  of  wonderful 
expectations. 


WEST  POINT 


XIX 

AUGUST  nth.  This  has  been  the  most  inter- 
esting day  of  my  life!  I  awoke  at  six,  as 
the  sun  was  streaming  into  my  room;  I  ran  to  the 
window;  it  had  rained  in  the  night,  and  the  trees 
were  shining,  so  clear  and  fresh  as  if  emerging 
from  a  bath. 

I  felt  as  if  happiness  was  resplendent  all  around 
me;  the  sky  was  azure  blue,  with  little  soft  clouds 
floating  lightly,  as  if  spun  from  the  morning  mist. 
After  I  was  dressed,  I  tried  to  sit  down  quietly  and 
read  my  American  History,  but  the  phrases  my 
eyes  dwelt  upon  penetrated  not  to  my  brain ;  I  could 
only  think  of  one  thing,  and  so  I  ran  down  to  the 
garden  to  procure  myself  a  little  exercise. 

Afterwards  I  was  finishing  my  breakfast  in  my 
room  when  I  saw  from  my  window  Mr.  Dale  drive 
to  the  house  in  his  dog-cart;  my  first  impulse  was 
to  run  down  and  greet  him,  but  a  sudden  reticence 
took  possession  of  me,  and  I  waited  till  they  called 
me  to  depart ;  and  a  new  and  strange  timidity  emo- 
tioned me,  as  I  shook  hands  with  him. 

Mr.  Lacy  activated  our  departure  and  hurried  his 
wife,  who  is  always  a  little  late.  We  sat  thus  in 

189 


190  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

the  automobile:  Mr.  Lacy  in  front  with  the 
chauffeur;  behind,  Mrs.  Lacy  at  the  right,  Mr. 
Dale  at  the  left,  and  I  —  being  the  slightest  —  in 
the  middle. 

The  air  was  deliciously  fresh,  and  the  ground  a 
pleasant  brown  color,  darkened  by  moisture.  The 
road  was  shaded  by  trees,  and  the  overhanging 
branches  sprinkled  us  lightly  with  rain  drops  as 
we  brushed  past  them,  which  made  us  to  laugh. 
We  were  gay  and  I  think  very  content  to  be  to- 
gether. 

At  first  we  rose  among  the  hills  to  a  high  point 
where  there  was  a  beautiful  view,  and  then  we 
descended  by  a  rough  road  to  a  long,  winding 
valley,  with  a  stream,  at  the  bottom,  rushing  over 
stones  and  disappearing  beneath  a  thick  foliage. 
I  was  reminded  of  the  Tyrol,  although,  I  regret  to 
say,  the  peasants'  houses  were  not  so  picturesque. 

It  was  striking  twelve  at  the  town  clock  when 
we  entered  a  little  city  where  we  intended  to  lunch. 
We  felt  rather  stiff  as  we  descended  from  the 
machine,  especially  Mrs.  Lacy,  whose  back  is  weak, 
and  she  looked  pale  and  fatigued. 

At  table  the  two  gentlemen  did  all  the  talking; 
I  know  not  why  I  felt  silent  although  I  was  most 
happy.  The  nourishment  was  not  appetizing,  and 
the  hotel  little  attractive.  In  Europe  a  small  inn 
would  possess  a  terrace  where  we  could  have  our 
repast  out  of  doors,  but  my  compatriots  never  eat 


WEST  POINT  191 

in  the  fresh  air.     I  suppose  they  have  a  good  rea- 
son for  that. 

Mr.  Lacy  meant  to  start  as  soon  as  we  had  fin- 
ished: for  we  had  a  long  run  before  us,  but  Mrs. 
Lacy  begged  him  to  wait  a  little  longer,  and  en- 
gaged a  chamber  to  repose  herself.  I  sat  in  the 
hotel  parlor;  an  ugly  room  with  soiled  lace  cur- 
tains, monstrous  furniture  and  absurd  pictures.  I 
tried  to  read  Rhodes'  History,  but  again  my  mind 
did  wander. 

My  eyes  instead  of  being  fixed  on  the  book  were 
watching  the  open  door,  and  thus  I  saw  Mr.  Dale 
pass  before  it.  He  stopped  on  seeing  me,  and  I 
smiled,  so  he  entered  the  room  saying : 

"  Shall  I  disturb  the  ardent  American  in  her 
pursuit  of  knowledge,  by  joining  her  for  a  mo- 
ment ?  " 

"  Oh,  please  disturb  me,"  I  said,  "  for  I  seem  not 
able  to  apply  myself  to  study." 

He  sat  near  me  in  one  of  the  grotesque  arm- 
chairs, and  again  I  felt  an  emotion  or  conscious- 
ness of  myself  that  made  me  ill  at  ease,  and  I  did 
so  want  to  appear  as  old  as  possible,  Cousin  Henry 
having  told  me  Mr.  Dale  liked  not  young  girls. 

"  I  suppose,"  Mr.  Dale  said,  "  that  besides  your 
study  of  American  History,  you  have  been  inter- 
ested in  our  summer  life,  though  no  doubt  you 
find  Europe  more  interesting." 

"  Oh !  "  I  exclaimed,  "  believe  not  that !     Verita- 


192  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

bly  if  I  could  see  my  prayers  accomplished,  never 
again  would  I  return  to  Europe.  I  hate  it!  I 
hate  it  so  that  my  feet  will  crisp  themselves  with 
repulsion  when  I  touch  once  more  European  soil !  " 

He  laughed  and  I  wondered  if  I  had  said  a  child- 
ish thing;  then  he  said;  "  But  you  were  born  and 
brought  up  in  Europe." 

"  Yes,  that  is  what  makes  it  so  tragic ;  no  one 
has  known  what  I  felt;  they  have  treated  me  as  if 
I  were  one  of  them  over  there;  as  if  it  were  all 
natural  for  me  to  be  content  to  be  retained  in  a 
foreign  land." 

"  You  speak  as  if  they  kept  you  in  captivity." 

"  Were  not  the  strict  rules  and  coventions  that 
compressed  me,  chains?  Chains  to  my  feelings, 
chains  to  my  actions,  chains  to  every  desire  of 
liberty?  Oh,  but  yes,  I  have  been  in  chains,  just 
my  heart  do  you  see  could  not  be  made  foreign. 
My  manners,  my  clothes,  my  voice,  my  language, 
all  these  were  forced  to  be  European,  but  my 
heart!  no,  that  is  American,  and  belongs  all  entire 
to  my  wonderful  country."  I  had  animated  myself 
in  talking,  I  could  feel  my  cheeks  were  burning; 
he  was  looking  at  me,  I  thought  with  curiosity. 

"  You  strange  child !  "  he  said  with  a  little  laugh. 

The  words  gave  me  a  blow  to  the  heart;  he 
mocked  himself  of  me,  I  appeared  to  him  as  a  child. 
I  felt  tears  come  to  my  eyes.  I  arose  and  went  to 
the  window. 


WEST  POINT  193 

"  Miss  Carrington,"  he  called,  but  I  did  not  an- 
swer; he  repeated  my  name  more  softly  and  joined 
me  at  the  window.  "  Miss  Carrington,  don't  mis- 
understand me." 

"  You  have  laughed  at  my  words,"  I  said  re- 
proachfully. 

"  No,  don't  think  that.  Do  you  know  why  I 
laughed?  I  was  thinking  of  myself.  I  laughed, 
remembering  my  own  youthful  dreams  of  patriot- 
ism and  my  early  enthusiasms  for  the  Greek 
heroes." 

"  My  heroine  is  Jeanne  d'Arc ;  I  have  envied  her 
so.  Oh,  it  would  be  glorious  to  lead  the  armies 
of  one's  land." 

"  I  felt  that  way,"  he  said,  "  when  I  was  young 
-young  like  you." 

"  And  would  you  not,"  I  asked,  "  be  joyful  to 
die  for  your  country  now?" 

"  I  hardly  know,"  he  answered,  "  living  in  it 
nowadays  seems  to  be  bad  enough." 

"  Oh,  how  dreadful,"  I  said,  "  to  feel  like  that. 
If  America  was  invaded,  would  you  not  take  arms 
to  repulse  the  intruder?" 

"  Every  immigrant  who  lands  on  our  shores, 
invades  the  country ;  thousands  take  possession 
every  year.  None  of  us  dispute  one  inch  of 
ground;  they  rule  us  in  city  politics;  the  strangers 
dispose  of  our  money  for  the  education  of  their 
children  and  other  profits  of  their  own;  there  is 
13 


194  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

no  country  in  the  world,  Miss  Carrington,  where 
it  is  harder  to  be  patriotic." 

I  reflected  gravely  over  his  words,  then  I  spoke : 
"  What  you  say  is  no  doubt  true,  but  I  agree  not 
with  your  conclusion.  An  American  can  be  patri- 
otic, for  just  as  parents  love  the  new  little  children 
whom  they  have  not  possessed  long,  who  are  help- 
less and  cannot  speak,  so  the  new  arrivals  in  our 
land  become  part  of  the  great  family  of  the  nation 
to  be  protected  and  cared  for.  It  is  good  we  pay 
for  their  education,  for  we  teach  them  the  laws 
of  our  marvelous  constitution,  and  they  are  happy 
to  leave  the  servitude  of  European  governments; 
thus  they  soon  look  up  to  our  flag  as  their  own." 

"  Indeed,  Miss  Carrington,  I  named  you  well 
just  now,  the  ardent  American." 

"  The  name  pleases  me,"  I  said,  "  but  not  your 
way  of  saying  it.  You  seem  to  mock  yourself  of 
me,  as  if  your  heart  were  hard  and  not  tender  to 
other  people's  feelings.  Evelyn  truly  said  you 
were  difficult  to  understand,  for  your  words  make 
forget  your  actions:  you  have  a  Home  for  Con- 
sumptives ;  Bobby  loves  you ;  Mischief  likes  you 
much;  children  know  who  is  good,  so  do  animals 
it  is  said.  Are  they  afraid  of  you?  " 

"  Be  reassured,"  he  answered,  "  dogs  and  cats 
make  up  to  me  at  once." 

"  I  was  right,"  I  said  enchanted,  "  I  knew  you 
must  be  better  than  you  thought  yourself  to  be." 


WEST  POINT  195 

"  Thank  you,"  he  said,  "  for  your  good  opinion. 
I  wish  you  could  help  me  to  discover  some  more 
valuable  qualities." 

"  Yes,  I  will  gladly,"  I  answered,  "  for  I  think 
you  take  pleasure  in  disliking  yourself.  I  do  too 
sometimes.  I  think  I  am  horrid,  and  then  I  scold 
myself  for  I  believe  I  must  not  hate  what  the 
good  God  has  made,  and  the  people  who  thus  en- 
courage themselves,  I  think,  are  better  liked,  and 
it  is  so  nice  to  be  liked." 

"  A  new  philosophy,"  he  said  laughing,  "  love 
yourself  and  others  will  love  you.  That  is  quite 
a  wise  observation." 

"  Oh,  please,"  I  said,  "  do  not  laugh  when  I  talk 
to  you  seriously.  I  open  to  you  my  thoughts,  and 
rudely  you  thrust  them  back.  I  know  not  why  I 
want  to  like  you.  I  disbelieve  the  way  the  old 
ladies  spoke  of  you,  for  I  think  when  people  judge 
another  harshly,  they  do  show  more  their  own  char- 
acter, than  that  of  the  person  they  condemn." 

"  I  ask  for  no  better  champion  than  you,"  he 
said  with  a  nice  smile,  "  to  defend  my  cause  against 
myself  and  against  others." 

"  I  want,"  I  said  timidly,  "  to  show  my  recog- 
nition of  your  kindness,  for  three  times  you  have 
come  to  my  succor;  I  must  think  you  kind  there- 
fore." 

"  Not  so  very  kind  after  all,"  he  said,  "  for  I 
confess  the  first  time  I  saw  you  in  the  train  going 


196  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

to  Newport,  my  curiosity  was  awakened;  you  re- 
minded me  of  someone." 

"  My  Cousin  Romola  ?  "  I  asked ;  "  they  say  I 
resemble  her." 

"  Yes,  your  Cousin  Romola,"  he  answered. 

"  You  know  her  well?  "  I  asked  again. 

"  I  knew  her  well ;  but  let  us  talk  of  you  —  that 
is  more  interesting." 

"  I  thought  you  liked  not  young  girls." 

"  This  young  girl  interests  me.  You  looked  to 
me  on  our  first  meeting  like  a  little  princess  wan- 
dering alone,  unguarded." 

"  Angelique  was  there,"  I  said. 

"  Hardly  a  conscientious  duenna,  for  she  was 
soon  asleep.  I  wanted  to  hear  you  speak  again. 
Your  accent  was  charming,  and  as  I  talked  to  you 
I  confess  you  quite  bewitched  me." 

I  reddened  with  pleasure  at  what  he  said.  At 
that  moment  Mr.  Lacy  called  us.  As  we  arose, 
Mr.  Dale  said :  "  Now  I  count  on  your  friendly 
feelings,  besides  those  of  Bobby  and  Mischief,  and 
the  dogs  and  the  cats." 

"  Oh !  "  I  said,  "  I  should  like  to  take  you  in 
seriousness." 

"  That's  a  promise,"  he  said,  "  we  shall  both 
take  each  other  in  seriousness." 

We  started  off  again  in  the  motor.  We  were 
not  gay  and  talkative  as  in  the  morning.  We  went 
fast,  the  road  was  bad  and  we  were  silent.  As 


WEST  POINT  197 

the  day  advanced  the  atmosphere  grew  more  op- 
pressive, clouds  of  storm  gathered  overhead  and 
the  thunder  made  itself  heard  in  the  distance.  We 
had  then  traveled  two  or  three  hours  when  Mrs. 
Lacy  said  to  her  husband,  she  felt  so  unwell,  she 
would  have  to  descend  at  the  first  station,  and  con- 
tinue in  a  train.  She  had  become  more  pale ;  I 
think  not  that  she  is  very  strong. 

We  were  entering  a  city  and  stopped  at  the  rail- 
road. A  train  for  New  York  was  awaited  in  a 
few  minutes;  the  Lacys  asked  me  if  I  would  go 
with  them  or  continue  in  the  machine,  which  would 
take  me  to  Garrison,  where  I  had  to  traverse  the 
Hudson.  I  was  hesitating  how  to  answer,  as  I 
did  not  want  to  enter  a  hot  train,  when  Mr.  Dale 
said  he  would  look  after  me  and  see  me  safely  to 
West  Point. 

Our  partings  from  the  Lacys  were  hurried,  as 
they  had  to  hasten  to  catch  their  train,  and  thus 
he  and  I  continued  our  journey  together.  I  felt 
happy  to  be  alone  with  him,  and  I  think  the  storm 
in  the  air  also  did  excite  my  nerves. 

We  were  passing  through  a  desert  country  when 
the  first  loud  rolling  of  thunder  burst  forth,  and 
the  hills  echoed  the  sound ;  at  the  same  moment  the 
auto  stopped,  and  the  chauffeur  turned  round  to 
tell  us  a  pneumatic  had  burst.  Big  drops  of  rain 
began  to  fall ;  no  house  was  to  be  seen.  Mr.  Dale 
jumped  out,  and  said  he  would  explore  for  a  house 


198  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

or  barn,  and  as  the  chauffeur  began  to  jack  up  the 
car,  I  had  also  to  descend. 

In  a  moment  Mr.  Dale  returned  saying  he  had 
found  a  small  shed  over  the  crest  of  the  hill.  The 
chauffeur  remained  with  the  machine,  and  Mr.  Dale 
throwing  a  rug  over  our  shoulders  as  a  protection 
to  the  increasing  rain,  we  ran  together,  like  Paul 
and  Virginia  caught  by  the  tornado. 

We  found  a  little  open  shed  near  the  road;  it 
faced  the  valley  below,  arad  overlooked  the  horizon 
of  hills  and  black  clouds.  We  had  hardly  entered 
our  shelter  when  a  torrential  rain  descended,  and 
the  sky  was  torn  by  zigzags  of  lightning,  while 
great  claps  of  thunder  followed  each  other  closely. 

"  Are  you  frightened  ?  "  Mr.  Dale  asked. 

"  Oh,  but  no !  "  I  answered,  "  I  adore  to  watch 
the  clouds;  all  the  mysteries  of  the  sky  approach  the 
earth  in  a  great  storm." 

We  stood  in  silence  awed  by  this  grand  display 
of  nature's  powers.  The  thunder  increasingly 
shook  the  ground. 

"  The  vibration,"  I  said,  "  reminds  me  of  ava- 
lanches in  the  Alps." 

'  Yes,"  he  answered,  "  I  once  witnessed  a  hail 
storm  in  the  Veldt  —  a  terrible  sight,  for  as  I 
crouched  in  a  cave,  all  around  me  the  vegetation 
was  reduced  to  pulp  and  a  herd  of  sheep  were  stoned 
to  death." 

"  I  am  glad  you  were  safe,"  I  said,  and  at  that 


WEST  POINT  199 

instant  a  flash  of  lightning  blinded  our  eyes,  and 
we  were  deafened  by  a  terrific  roll  of  thunder.  A 
tree  before  us  was  covered  by  fire,  the  flames  hissed 
over  it  and  then  vanished  in  the  earth.  Instinc- 
tively I  seized  his  hand,  and  he  drew  me  toward 
him,  for  the  danger  was  very  near.  I  was  not 
afraid  but  I  trembled  with  excitement,  and  I  felt 
it  was  good  to  be  protected  by  a  strong  man,  as 
if  nothing  now  could  do  me  harm. 

The  rain  began  to  lessen,  the  lightning  faintly 
quivered  and  the  storm  clouds  sailed  grandly  away ; 
across  the  sky  a  rainbow  elevated  its  shining  curve, 
a  promise  of  safety  and  of  sweet  peace. 

There  was  no  more  reason  for  our  standing  so 
near  together;  he  left  my  side;  nature  was  smiling 
and  the  sun  reappeared;  only  the  tree  was  scorched 
and  blackened. 

"The  car  is  coming,"  he  said,  and  in  truth  it 
approached;  he  hailed  the  chauffeur;  the  grass  was 
soaked  we  had  to  traverse.  "  I  will  carry  you 
across,"  and  taking  me  in  his  arms,  he  lifted  me 
easily. 

It  lasted  but  an  instant  but  the  sensation  was  in- 
describable !  . 

The  hood  of  the  machine  was  raised,  and  under 
the  cover  we  sat  near  together  with  the  rugs 
wrapped  around  us,  in  a  sort  of  obscurity.  I  was 
emotioned  and  happy,  and  we  did  not  talk;  rapidly 
we  ran  over  the  smooth  road,  with  all  the  perfumes 


200  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

of  the  damp  verdure  penetrating  to  us  in  a  man- 
ner I  think  is  intoxicating.  After  a  time,  I  know 
not  if  it  were  long  or  short,  we  drew  into  a  village. 

"  Stop  here,"  he  commanded  and  we  drew  up 
before  a  house  called  "  Maple  Inn." 

"  It  is  after  six  o'clock,"  he  said,  "  and  you  must 
have  something  to  eat,  for  you  will  not  reach  home 
till  very  late." 

We  entered  the  inn;  a  clerk  more  polite  than 
they  usually  are  here  in  hotels  came  up  to  me  and 
said: 

"  Will  you  have  a  room  for  the  night,  Miss  —  or 
Madam  ?  "  he  added  seeing  Mr.  Dale  following  me. 

I  became  scarlet,  but  Mr.  Dale  said  quietly  — 

"  We  only  wish  tea  served  at  once,"  and  then 
to  me  — "  And  would  you  like  a  room  to  rest  for 
a  while?" 

"  Oh!  no!  "  I  said,  "  I  am  not  fatigued  at  all." 

We  had  the  merriest  little  repast  imaginable,  and 
were  alone  in  the  dining  room.  Mr.  Dale  has 
traveled  all  over  the  world,  and  he  told  me  of 
many  funny  and  interesting  experiences,  then  he 
asked  me  about  my  life  in  Europe  and  of  my  family, 
and  I  described  to  him  my  dull  existence  there, 
and  as  I  spoke  of  the  life  I  was  so  soon  going  back 
to,  a  cloud  of  sadness  enveloped  me. 

"  Of  course,"  I  said,  "  just  abandoning  America 
is  to  me  most  terrible,  for  I  do  love  her  so,  and  all 
the  people  here,  except  perhaps  one  or  two " 


WEST  POINT  201 

(thinking  of  Cousin  Henry  and  Cousin  Carolina), 
"  but  what  makes  it  more  difficult  for  me  to  dwell 
over  there,  is,  that  my  mother  so  much  wants  me 
to  marry;  it  is  not  agreeable  for  her  to  conduct 
in  society  so  old  a  daughter,  when  she  does  look 
so  young.  But,  I  will  not  be  forced  against  my 
inclination  to  marry  a  European,  nor  will  I  con- 
sent to  marry  without  love  an  American  for  the 
joy  of  living  here.  Perhaps  thus  I  shall  be  an 
old  maid,"  and  I  sighed. 

He  looked  at  me  thoughtfully  as  I  spoke,  but 
he  seemed  not  to  find  words  to  answer  me,  and 
abruptly  he  arose  from  table,  we  having  finished 
eating  and  said: 

"  I  am  going  to  telegraph  and  let  your  grand- 
mother know  when  she  can  expect  you." 

I  remained  by  myself,  puzzled  by  new  ideas  and 
feelings  which  disturbed  me,  for  they  had  no  shape 
nor  could  I  express  them  clearly  to  myself.  I 
sat  on  the  floor  and  played  with  a  kitten  which  had 
strayed  into  the  room.  He  returned,  and  we  im- 
mediately started  off  again,  the  top  of  the  car 
being  opened  at  my  request. 

The  last  part  of  our  journey  was  like  a  dream. 
The  air  was  cool,  drops  of  rain  hung  on  the  leaves, 
the  sky  was  blue,  with  a  few  pink  clouds  colored 
by  the  setting  sun,  and  the  birds  were  twittering 
gently  their  tender  good-nights. 

I  did  never  in  my  life  feel  so  perfectly  happy! 


202  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

After  a  while,  the  motor  taking  a  too  rapid  curve, 
a  rug  fell  out;  we  stopped  and  the  chauffeur  had 
to  go  back  to  get  it.  Everything  around  us  was 
still,  a  silence  full  of  sweet  mysteries.  The  new 
moon  appeared  above  some  great  elms,  to  complete 
the  beauty  of  the  evening. 

"  Oh !  "  I  said  softly,  "  I  wish  I  were  a  poet  to 
fill  the  universe  with  symbols;  even  I  have  had 
many  fancies.  When  I  was  little  I  used  to  pray 
to  the  evening  star,  thinking  my  dear  father  dwelt 
there  and  could  see  me."  I  interrupted  myself  to 
look  at  him  to  see  if  he  were  laughing,  but  no,  his 
expression  was  full  of  sympathy. 

"  Go  on,"  he  said,  "  tell  me  more." 

"  And  then,"  I  continued,  "  I  love  the  language 
of  the  flowers,  a  pansy  means  a  thought,  a  for- 
get-me-not a  request." 

He  smiled  at  me,  and  I  felt  I  could  have  confi- 
dence in  him;  the  long  day  together  had  made  us 
friends. 

We  continued  on  our  way.  The  moon  rose 
higher  and  the  stars  shone  brighter  one  by  one. 

We  reached  Garrison  after  eight;  Mr.  Dale 
seemed  agitated  lest  we  should  not  catch  the  boat; 
it  reminded  me  of  Prince  Ulrich's  anxiety  on  the 
little  island,  and  I  was  diverted  thereby. 

Why  should  one  be  disturbed  by  the  sentiment 
of  the  conventions  in  a  country  where  chaperons 


WEST  POINT  203 

are  not  really  necessary,  and  where  men's  honest 
intentions  ought  to  excite  no  distrust? 

The  ferry  boat  was  at  the  point  of  departure, 
so  we  successfully  took  it,  leaving  the  automobile 
behind  which  was  to  join  the  Lacys  the  next  day. 
We  stood  forward  on  the  boat  and  watched  the 
river,  whose  waters  seemed  quite  black,  except 
where  the  moon  cast  a  silvery  light  on  the  ripples. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  our  journey  is  coming  to  an 
end." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  answered  sadly,  "  I  suppose  you  go 
to  New  York  at  once." 

"  My  train,"  he  answered,  "  leaves  West  Point  in 

two  hours." 

• 

"  Oh,  then,"  I  said  gladly,  "  we  have  two  more 
hours  together,  for  you  must  come  to  my  grand- 
mother's and  wait.  I  am  sure  she  will  be  content 
to  meet  you." 

"  I  have,"  he  said,  "  the  honor  of  knowing  your 
grandmother,  and  I  shall  be  glad  to  see  her  again." 

And  thus  I  felt  joyous  once  more.  At  the 
landing  the  carriage  was  waiting,  for  he  had  tele- 
phoned from  Garrison,  and  it  was  about  nine  o'clock 
when  we  reached  the  house. 

I  had  not  realized  how  glad  I  would  be  to  see 
my  dear  grandmother  again,  and  I  embraced  her 
more  tenderly  than  anybody  before  in  my  life. 
She  received  Mr.  Dale  in  her  kind,  gracious  man- 


204  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ner  while  I  explained  how  he  had  taken  care  of 
me  after  the  Lacys  left.  She  had  made  the  dinner 
to  wait  until  this  late  hour.  As  we  sat  at  table 
in  animated  conversation,  and  I  looked  from  her 
to  him,  I  thought  that  never  could  three  people 
be  happier  together. 

As  we  left  the  dining  room  she  put  her  hand 
to  my  forehead  saying :  "  Are  you  feverish, 
Yvonne?  you  are  flushed  and  your  eyes  are  un- 
naturally brilliant." 

"  Oh,  but  no,  dear  Grandmamma,"  I  answered, 
"  I  am  perfectly  well,  not  even  tired ;  it  is  the  effect 
of  the  grand  air  all  day." 

And  then  he  had  to  leave,  and  a  sort  of  anguish 
seized  my  heart,  for  I  might  never  speak  to  him 
or  see  him  again.  As  he  held  my  hand  a  little 
lengthily  for  good-bye  the  only  thing  I  said  was  — 
"  Don't  forget  Anna  Engel." 

He  smiled  and  answered :  "  I  shall  not  forget." 

He  went,  and  all  words  of  farewell  were  left 
unspoken. 

I  suddenly  did  become  terribly  fatigued,  and  I 
bade  my  grandmother  good-night.  I  went  to  bed 
but  was  too  agitated  to  sleep;  I  arose  and  I  have 
written  all  these  pages  in  my  journal.  My  head 
is  burning,  my  hands  are  cold,  perhaps  I  have  fever 
after  all. 


XX 


AUGUST  1 5th.  These  days  following,  I  feel 
myself  all  funny,  so  restless  and  yet  so 
fatigued,  and  all  my  thoughts  concentrate  on  one 
subject  or  rather  on  one  person.  It  no  longer 
amuses  me  or  makes  me  angry  when  Angelique 
scolds;  she  was  perfectly  horrified  at  the  condition 
of  my  clothes  which  I  had  thrown  into  my  box  at 
Lenox.  I  want  to  be  alone,  and  I  promenade  my- 
self in  solitary  places,  where  I  can  be  quiet,  and 
think,  and  think.  .  .  . 

My  grandmother  asks  me  no  questions  why  I 
appear  troubled ;  I  am  so  grateful  she  does  not 
inquire;  for  I  should  know  not  what  to  answer; 
yet  she  is  interested  in  all  I  tell  her  of  the  people 
and  of  the  distractions  of  Newport  and  Bar  Har- 
bor, and  of  my  experiences  in  the  Settlement.  I 
told  her  the  sad  story  of  Anna  Engel,  to  whom  I 
have  sent  some  money;  I  wish  to  pay  her  pension 
at  the  Sanitarium  at  Rilldale,  for  I  am  to  receive 
from  my  grandmother  an  allowance  of  two  hun- 
dred dollars  a  month,  to  be  given  to  me  also  in 
Europe.  My  grandmother  said  she  would  pay  half 

205 


206  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

the  pension  and  that  she  would  write  to  Mr.  Dale 
to  find  out  what  it  cost ;  she  asked  me : 

"  Have  you  any  message  to  send  him,  for  he 
has  been  very  kind  to  you." 

I  had  told  her  of  my  two  meetings  in  the  train  and 
how  I  had  lost  my  way  to  his  house,  and  she  knew 
I  had  been  under  his  protection  in  the  automobile ; 
for  some  unknown  reason  I  blushed  now  at  her 
question. 

"  Oh,  Grandmamma,"  I  answered,  "  I  know  not 
what  kind  of  message  I  can  send." 

"  Well,"  she  said,  smiling  as  she  prepared  her- 
self to  write,  "  I  shall  thank  him  for  his  excellent 
care  of  my  little  girl." 

"  Oh,  it  is  so  strange,"  I  said,  "  the  different 
opinions  that  people  have  of  him.  To  me  he  has 
been  kind;  Bobby  and  Mischief  and  animals  like 
him.  Do  you  think,  Grandmamma,  that  he  is 
good?" 

"  I  also  like  him,"  said  my  grandmother,  "  but 
I  should  not  qualify  him  by  simply  calling  him 
good.  He  has  excellent  qualities,  some  of  which 
he  has  never  developed.  Very  early  in  life  he  was 
his  own  master,  with  no  one  to  be  responsible  to. 
His  father  died  leaving  a  large  fortune.  His 
mother  was  an  invalid;  he  was  devoted  to  her; 
he  sacrificed  a  year  of  college  to  accompany  her 
abroad,  taking  her  from  one  health  resort  to  an- 
other. She  had  consumption.  In  those  days 


WEST  POINT  207 

warm  climates  were  considered  essential,  and  doc- 
tors had  not  attained  sufficient  knowledge  to  open 
windows;  I  remember  visiting  her  in  stifling  hot 
rooms." 

"  That  is  perhaps  why  he  has  a  Consumptive 
Home,"  I  said,  "  although  he  does  not  avow  the 
real  reason  of  his  interest." 

"  I  have  no  doubt  of  it,"  said  my  grandmother, 
"  he  prefers  calling  it  a  fad.  His  mother  died 
when  he  was  twenty,  and  he  then  traveled  exten- 
sively. A  year  or  two  later,  a  young  boy  was  left 
in  his  charge." 

"  It  was  Bobby,"  I  said,  "  he  adores  his  uncle." 

"  Well  he  may,"  continued  my  grandmother, 
"  for  Herbert  took  him  into  his  own  house  until 
Robert  was  of  age  to  be  sent  to  school,  and  in 
every  way  he  proved  himself,  an  efficient  and  affec- 
tionate guardian.  But  unfortunately  Herbert's 
career  has  been  that  of  the  rich  young  man;  every 
wish  granted  without  the  savor  of  longing;  no 
object  to  work  for;  no  one  to  be  answerable  to. 
He  experimented  in  various  directions,  studied 
law  for  a  year,  engineering  the  next,  was  a  secre- 
tary of  Embassy  abroad  for  a  while.  He  excelled 
in  every  game.  Society  opened  her  arms  to  him; 
but  in  the  last  ten  years,  after  a  severe  disappoint- 
ment, he  has  kept  aloof." 

"Was  he  in  love  with  somebody?  "  I  asked  hesi- 
tatingly. 


208  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

'  Yes,  the  story  is  well  known.  He  was  en- 
gaged to  your  cousin  Romola,  but  she  changed  her 
mind  suddenly  and  married  the  Duke  of  Fairfield.'' 

"  Oh,  how  could  she !  "  I  exclaimed,  "  the  Duke 
looks  like  a  wilted  cornstalk,  and  to  prefer  him  to 
Mr.  Dale  who  is  so  noble  and  strong!  " 

My  grandmother  looked  at  me  and  smiled.  "  I 
am  afraid  Romola  was  very  undiscriminating,  to 
say  the  least;  so  she  became  a  duchess  and  Herbert 
Dale  became  a  cynic;  his  idol  was  shattered.  He 
turned  his  own  enthusiasms  to  ridicule,  and  began 
to  distrust  other  people's  motives." 

"  I  see  now,"  I  said,  "  why  he  seems  sometimes 
scornful  and  bitter;  oh,  Grandmamma,  you  have 
made  me  understand  him  so  much  better,  and  your 
judgment  is  so  just;  but  how  did  you  thus  know 
him  well?" 

"  His  mother  was  my  friend,  and  a  few  years  ago 
when  I  was  staying  at  Lenox,  he  had  a  fall,  hunting. 
He  was  alone  at  the  hotel,  so  I  invited  him  to  stay 
at  my  cottage.  His  gratitude  was  touching,  for  the 
little  I  did  was  only  a  pleasure.  I  found  he  had  an 
intelligent,  well  cultivated  mind.  He  knew  I  would 
not  tolerate  any  cynical  pose;  he  was  therefore 
natural,  and  showed  a  far  gentler,  kinder  nature 
than  he  himself  is  perhaps  aware  of,  or  than  he 
is  generally  credited  with." 

"  Oh !  I  am  sure  you  are  right,"  I  exclaimed. 
"I  knew  he  had  a  generous  heart!"  And  I  ab- 


WEST  POINT  209 

sorbed  myself  in  a  reverie  while  my  grandmother 
recommenced  her  correspondence. 

This  conversation  took  place  two  days  ago. 
Yesterday  I  was  sitting  under  a  willow  tree  in  the 
garden,  with  a  book  in  my  hand  I  was  not  reading, 
when  I  saw  coming  towards  me  an  officer,  in  the 
American  uniform  which  at  first  had  given  me  such 
a  thrill  of  patriotic  joy  —  it  was  Lieutenant  Hill! 
I  had  not  thought  of  him  at  all  lately,  and  as  I 
rose  to  shake  hands  with  him  I  felt  all  confused. 

He  looked  at  me  for  a  moment  very  earnestly, 
then  said : 

"  Yvonne,  I  must  have  one  more  talk  with  you, 
before  I  can  be  certain  that  I  am  doomed  to  give 
you  up." 

We  sat  down  and  I  felt  discouraged:  for  what 
could  our  conversation  change?  I  had  written  I 
would  not  marry  him,  I  knew  more  strongly  than 
ever  now  that  it  was  impossible:  even  his  uniform 
did  not  excite  in  me  the  same  sentiment  as  before. 

"  Listen  to  me,  Dearest,"  he  said,  "  and  let  me 
plead  my  cause  once  more.  Our  letters  have  been 
unsatisfactory.  You  do  not  seem  to  understand 
how  much,  how  passionately,  I  love  you.  Your  last 
letter  breaking  our  engagement  sounded  so  heart- 
less, I  could  scarcely  believe  it  came  from  you." 

"  I  wrote  in  the  train,  perhaps  in  a  hurry,"  I  mur- 
mured. 

"  You  wrote  in  a  hurry,  Yvonne,  when  you  knew 
14 


210  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

your  words  meant  the  breaking  of  a  man's  life 
and  happiness  ?  " 

There  was  deep  reproach  in  his  voice,  yet  his 
look  was  kind,  and  I  felt  full  of  remorses  to  have 
treated  him  thus. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Lieutenant,"  I  said,  "  forgive  me, 
please  forgive  me,  I  had  no  intention  to  be  to  you 
cruel.  I  am  so  terribly  sorry  if  I  have  broken 
your  life  and  happiness.  I  affianced  myself  with 
you  without  any  experience  of  such  things;  now 
I  have  seen  more  young  men  and  learnt  a  great  deal, 
and  veritably,  do  you  think  it  would  be  right  for 
me  to  marry  you  without  a  great  love?  " 

He  looked  at  me  with  knitted  brows,  as  if  study- 
ing my  face. 

'  You  are  a  child  still  in  many  ways,  for  you 
know  nothing  about  love  and  real  affection ;  and  yet 
how  like  a  woman,  to  shift  the  responsibility  of 
your  refusal  onto  my  shoulders.  No,  of  course, 
you  must  not  marry  me,  if  you  do  not  love  me ; 
I  do  not  want  you  if  that  is  the  case,"  and  then  sud- 
denly bending  over  my  hand  and  pressing  it  to  his 
lips,  he  cried  — "  that  is  not  true,  I  want  you, 
Yvonne;  I  want  you,  my  Darling;  with  every  long- 
ing a  man  is  capable  of,  I  want  you;  after  think- 
ing of  you  so  long  as  my  own,  it  breaks  my  heart 
to  give  you  up." 

As  his  dark  head  was  bent  before  me,  I  had  the 
strongest  sensation  of  compassion,  and  of  affection, 


WEST  POINT  211 

for  what  can  stir  more  a  young  girl's  heart  than 
to  see  a  man  grieve  so  at  renouncing  her?  With 
the  hand  he  had  left  free  I  timidly  touched  his  hair 
and  whispered: 

"  Dear  Mr.  Lieutenant,  if  it  were  only  not  in 
marriage  you  wanted  me,  I  should  like  so  much 
to  be  like  my  grandmother,  able  to  console  you." 

He  raised  his  head  and  laughing  bitterly  he  said : 
"  Indeed  that 's  an  original  idea  for  a  girl  to  offer 
to  the  man  she  refuses,  to  be  a  grandmother  to 
him ;  they  usually  in  similar  cases  call  it  a  sister." 

I  was  offended  at  his  tone,  and  said,  "  Lieuten- 
ant Hill,  I  hope  you  may  become  a  general  in  our 
army,  but  I  assure  you,  you  will  never  become  my 
husband." 

He  paced  up  and  down,  and  paid  no  attention 
to  what  I  said;  then  he  stopped  before  me. 
"  Yvonne,  our  last  talk  shall  not  end  in  a  quarrel. 
I  am  enough  of  a  man  and  enough  of  a  soldier, 
to  accept  marching  orders,  bravely.  I  leave  you, 
and  before  I  go  I  wish  to  beg  you  not  to  be  sorry 
on  my  account;  my  pain  must  in  no  way  distress 
you;  I  thank  you  for  the  unutterably  happy  mo- 
ments you  have  given  me;  I  do  not  regret  that 
you  entered  my  life;  your  memory  will  remain 
ever  as  a  vision  of  loveliness,  and  if  —  but  no," 
he  sighed,  "there  will  be  no  if;  you  have  changed 
in  these  six  weeks ;  you  are  no  longer  the  confid- 
ing little  girl  I  first  met.  I  have  of  late  reproached 


212  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

myself  that  perhaps  I  had  taken  advantage  of  your 
inexperience  — " 

"  Oh,  but  no,"  I  interrupted,  "  dear  Mr.  Lieu- 
tenant, make  to  yourself  no  reproach;  it  was  I 
who  was  hasty  and  thoughtless;  you  have  been 
so  very  kind,  that  I  shall  be  grateful  to  you  always ; 
and  do  you  know  I  think  that  being  engaged  to  you, 
has  saved  me  from  marrying  two  other  people  I 
did  not  really  love." 

I  thought  he  would  be  pleased  at  my  confiding 
to  him  this,  but  no,  not  at  all,  his  voice  was  severe 
as  he  said: 

"  What  do  you  mean?  " 

"  I  cannot  explain,"  I  said,  "  only  that  two  gen- 
tlemen would  have  persisted  in  making  me  their 
court,  if  I  had  not  said  I  was  engaged."' 

"  I  am  then  to  understand,"  he  said  bitterly, 
"  that  our  engagement  has  served  as  a  useful  pre- 
text to  put  an  end  to  some  of  your  flirtations." 

"  Oh !  do  not  speak  to  me  like  this,"  I  said  half 
frightened,  for  his  voice  sounded  so  harsh.  "  I 
never  tried,  as  an  amusement  to  make  anybody  love 
me,  I  should  not  know  how." 

"  Forgive  me,"  he  cried,  "  I  am  a  beast  to  say 
such  things !  Nobody  who  sees  you  can  help  loving 
you,  and  I  really  feel  sorry  for  the  other  poor 
devils.  The  fact  is,  you  know  nothing  about  love, 
your  heart  is  like  a  closed  fknyer  bud;  if  I  only 
could  have  inspired  you  with  a  little  love  for  me! 


WEST  POINT  213 

I  thought  the  warmth  of  my  passion  could  awaken 
some  response.  But  I  will  no  longer  torment  you ; 
good-bye,  Yvonne,  good-bye,  my  sweetest  Darling." 

He  pressed  my  hand  so  hard  I  would  have 
screamed  had  I  not  thought  I  deserved  pain  to 
make  so  nice  a  young  officer  to  suffer,  and  as  he 
went  he  looked  once  more  upon  me  as  if  the  effort 
to  separate  himself  from  me  was  immense. 

And  in  the  same  way  as  after  Prince  Ulrich  had 
gone,  my  heart  again  was  much  troubled,  and  I  felt 
distressed. 

I  entered  the  drawing  room  where  my  grand- 
mother was  sitting.  She  looked  up  at  me.  "  What 
is  the  matter  my  little  Yvonne,  you  do  not  look 
well?" 

I  could  restrain  my  emotions  no  longer;  I  fell 
kneeling  at  her  feet,  and  hiding  my  head  in  her 
lap,  I  sobbed. 

"  Dear  little  girl,"  she  murmured  and  stroked 
my  hair  softly;  then  I  became  calmer  and  sitting 
on  a  footstool  at  her  feet,  I  said : 

"  Dear  Grandmamma,  you  are  so  wonderful,  you 
never  ask  me  questions  but  I  always  feel  you  under- 
stand." 

"  Long  ago,"  she  answered,  "  I  was  young  my- 
self, and  we  old  people  only  require  a  little  memory 
to  sympathize  with  the  young.  All  your  youthful 
emotions  revive  my  past  ones.  Alas,  my  darling, 
I  wish  my  knowledge  could  assist  your  inexperi- 


214  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ence,  but  we  elders  can  only  look  on,  and  watch 
tenderly.  My  wisdom  can  not  remove  a  single 
pebble  from  your  path.  You  must  know  and  feel 
them  for  yourself." 

And  thus  she  soothed  and  consoled  me  by  her 
infinite  affection,  asking  nothing  in  return. 


XXI 

AUGUST  iQth.  I  have  just  had  a  very  disa- 
greeable interview  with  Cousin  Henry.  He 
came  yesterday,  and  all  the  afternoon  he  tried  to 
persuade  me  to  walk  or  drive  with  him,  but 
I  would  not,  and  took  every  precaution  not  to 
be  alone  with  him.  He  made  me  no  reproaches 
about  my  shortening  my  visit  to  Lenox,  but  said 
he  had  never  been  so  disappointed  in  his  life,  for 
he  had  intended  doing  so  many  things  with  me. 
During  the  evening  he  tried  to  render  himself 
agreeable  in  all  sorts  of  ways,  and  if  I  dropped 
anything  he  precipitated  himself  to  pick  it  up. 
Yet  he  seemed  not  at  his  ease,  and  very  early  I 
went  to  bed,  congratulating  myself  that  I  had 
avoided  what  I  felt  was  a  great  danger  —  a  pro- 
posal from  Cousin  Henry.  I  have  no  supersti- 
tion about  broken  mirrors,  spilt  salt,  going  under 
a  ladder,  and  the  number  13,  but  I  have  a  strong 
feeling  that  the  number  3  is  always  lucky  and  suc- 
cessful, and  Cousin  Henry,  I  was  determined  was 
not  to  be  the  third  American  to  ask  me  in  marriage. 
But  I  have  been  nearly  caught  by  my  habit  of 
rising  early.  The  carriage  had  been  ordered  at 
twenty  minutes  to  eight,  to  conduct  him  to  the 

215 


216  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

station.  At  half  past  seven  I  descended  into  the 
garden,  taking  the  precaution  not  to  pass  under 
his  windows,  but  he  must  have  seen  me  from  the 
dining  room,  for  he  rushed  out  into  the  garden, 
with  his  mouth  full  as  I  perceived  when  he  spoke 
to  me: 

'  Yvonne,  how  good  of  you  to  give  me  a  chance 
to  see  you  again,  because  — " 

"  Oh,  Cousin  Henry,"  I  said,  wondering  how 
I  could  gain  time,  "  you  must  not  think  me  good, 
I  did  not  intend  to  see  you,  please  return  to  your 
breakfast." 

"  Hang  my  breakfast,  it 's  no  matter,  I  want 
before  I  go  to  ask  you  a  question." 

"  Wait,  Cousin  Henry,"  I  said  quickly,  and  di- 
rected our  steps  towards  the  avenue  when  I  knew 
the  carriage  would  arrive  soon.  "  I  have  also  a 
question  to  ask  you." 

"  What  is  it,  my  dear  little  Yvonne  ?  "  he  said 
with  an  insupportable  tenderness  and  making  the 
goo-goo  eyes  Mischief  had  spoken  of.  He  also 
tried  to  take  my  hand,  but  I  put  it  behind  my  back 
for  safety. 

"Excuse  me,  Cousin  Henry,"  I  said  with  dignity, 
"  I  am  not  your  dear  little  Yvonne ;  I  am  not  dear, 
I  am  not  little  and  I  am  not  yours." 

"  We  are  wasting  time,"  he  said  impatiently  — 
then  wishing  to  be  pleasant  — "  and  what  was  your 
question  ?  " 


WEST  POINT  217 

"  I  want  very  much  to  know,"  I  said  with  great 
gravity,  "  how  my  dear  little  toad  is  getting  on 
with  Cousin  Carolina."  He  flushed  very  red  but 
I  kept  on  talking  and  approached  nearer  to  the 
porch.  "  You  see,  Cousin  Henry,  Israel  was  a 
present  from  Torn,  whom  I  am  so  fond  of,  and 
I  know  Cousin  Carolina  has  toads  in  horror,  and 
I  was  also  troubled  lest  the  little  insects  at  Lenox 
might  be  different  from  those  at  Bar  Harbor,  and 
therefore  not  agree  with  Israel." 

To  my  relief  I  saw  the  carriage  arriving,  but 
Cousin  Henry  stopped  suddenly  behind  a  hydrangea 
bush,  and  saiid  very  solemnly: 

"  Yvonne,  I  am  afraid  you  are  making  fun  of 
me.  Never  have  I  seen  a  girl  so  exasperating  and 
elusive  as  you  are,  and  at  the  same  time  so  at- 
tractive. I  suppose  I  shall  be  a  fool,  but  I  am 
impelled  to  tell  you  — " 

"Oh,  no!"  I  exclaimed,  "tell  me  nothing;  do 
not  become  a  fool;  please  go;  you  will  miss  your 
train  — " 

Before  I  could  defend  myself,  he  seized  me  in 
his  arms  and  kissed  me  violently,  and  while  I  tried 
to  recover  my  breath,  he  disappeared  round  the 
hydrangea  bush  and  drove  off  in  the  carriage. 

I  have  never  been  so  furious  in  all  my  life,  to 
be  thus  embraced  by  that  detestable  man.  I  ran 
up  into  my  room  to  wash  from  my  face  the  offense 
of  his  kiss.  I  rubbed  and  I  rubbed.  Even  if  he 


218  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

is  my  cousin,  he  has  no  right  to  embrace  me  in 
so  passionate  a  manner;  but  at  least  he  made  me 
no  proposal,  and  of  that  I  rejoice. 

I  have  busied  myself  since  I  have  been  here  with 
my  new  large  correspondence,  for  I  have  promised 
Lily  Stuart  and  several  other  young  girls  to  write 
regularly  and  very  often;  of  course,  since  I  am  no 
longer  betrothed  to  Lieutenant  Hill,  I  write  not  to 
young  men. 

I  had  a  letter  from  Evelyn  in  answer  to  one  of 
mine,  but  we  neither  of  us  did  speak  of  Mr.  Dale. 

Here  is  a  letter  from  Mischief : 

"  Dearest,  darling  Yvonne, — 

"  I  cannot  bear  to  have  you  go  back  to  that 
horrid  Fraiilein  you  told  me  about;  my  governess 
is  also  a  beast.  I  love  you  so  much,  my  sweetest! 
I  am  quite  jealous  of  Tom  and  his  toad.  I  think 
Nancy  is  engaged  to  the  Marquis;  I  saw  him  kiss 
her.  I  heard  Nancy  and  Romola  talk  about  Evelyn 
the  other  day ;  they  said  she  was  in  love  with  an  old 
bow  of  Romola's,  that  is  why  she  has  taken  up 
charity  and  given  up  society.  I  think  Evelyn  is  a 
humbug ;  anyway  she  is  nutty !  Good-bye,  my  dear, 
dear  Yvonne ;  all  my  thoughts  will  follow  you  across 
the  ocean,  but  its  bigness  is  not  as  big  as  my  long- 
ing for  you. 

"  Your  adoring  and  lonely, 

"  MISCHIEF." 


WEST  POINT  219 

Of  course  I  know  who  Evelyn  is  in  love  with. 
Did  she  not  take  by  force  his  picture  in  the 
journal  from  me?  Evelyn  will  see  him  often  and 
I  never!  Thus  many  doubts  and  thoughts  disturb 
me;  my  last  days  are  filled  with  the  sadness  of  my 
departure. 

I  have  pressed  a  few  flowers  and  leaves,  and  I 
have  put  in  a  little  sandal-wood  box  some  earth. 
But  oh,  how  lifeless  are  the  things  detached  from 
where  they  belong,  and  how  little  they  give  back  the 
sensation  of  that  which  one  worships  and  adores 
—  they  are  like  a  curl  cut  from  a  beloved  head  — 
yet  I  shall  treasure  them  in  a  foreign  land. 


ON  THE  STEAMER 


XXII 

AUGUST  23rd.  I  have  stood  on  deck  taking 
leave  of  my  dear  country,  until  the  shores 
faded  in  the  distance.  Then  I  descended  to  my 
cabin  with  my  heart  full  of  sorrow,  and  full  of 
feelings  I  cannot  express.  I  do  not  understand 
why  my  thoughts  are  so  shapeless,  for  until  now 
I  could  easily  describe  all  my  different  sensations; 
that  power  is  gone ;  my  soul  is  mute  and  it  pains 
me  like  a  hidden  suffering. 

Of  course,  I  mourn  above  all  at  leaving  my 
grandmother;  nothing  could  surpass  her  sweetness 
and  goodness  to  me ;  nobody  has  cared  for  me 
before  as  she  has,  or  shown  me  affection  in  so  tender 
and  discreet  a  manner,  and  yet  an  undefinable  regret 
possesses  me  more  and  more. 

I  am  sitting  in  my  cabin;  it  is  filled  with  the 
odor  of  flowers,  which  renders  it  like  a  mortuary 
chapel;  they  give  me  as  little  pleasure  as  if  I  were 
a  departing  corpse  surrounded  by  the  tributes  of 
friends.  At  first  I  opened  with  interest  all  the 
boxes  addressed  to  me,  but  now  the  interest  is  gone. 

In  a  box  five  feet  long  are  some  red  roses  with 
a  card  signed  — "  Your  adoring  and  disconsolate  — 

223 


224  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Bobby."  A  basket  of  all  sorts  of  flowers  with  an 
enormous  pink  ribbon  is  from  Count  Janos;  Lily 
Stuart  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Lacy  also  sent  flowers. 
Cousin  Henry  sent  flowers  and  fruits;  he  met  me 
this  morning  at  the  train  and  accompanied  me  to 
the  steamer,  where  he  put  me  under  the  care  of  an 
old  lady,  a  friend  of  Cousin  Carolina.  Cousin 
Henry's  manner  was  composed,  as  if  he  had  for- 
gotten his  outburst  behind  the  hydrangea  bush;  I 
was  cold  and  dignified;  thus  our  adieus  were  not 
emotional. 

Dear  little  Tom  sent  me  a  box  of  Maillard  sweets, 
happily  he  put  no  animals  within;  there  is  a  pack- 
age of  books  from  Evelyn,  and  from  Mischief  these 
verses : 

TO  MY  LOVE 

Descending  from  the  sky  above, 

To  all  the  winds  that  blow, 
I  whisper  words  of  burning  love 

That  from  my  lips  do  flow. 

For  thee,  my  sweet  one  they  are  meant, 

Receive  them  when  they  come ; 
Many  a  tear  on  them  was  spent, 

And  sighs  accomp'ny  some. 

For  thou  hast  gone  far,  far  away 

And  I  am  left  to  mourn, 
Still  by  the  breeze  day  after  day 

My  heart  to  thee  is  borne. 


ON  THE  STEAMER  225 

I  do  not  comprehend  how  all  these  tokens  of 
affection  from  my  friends  do  leave  me  so  indiffer- 
ent. Two  months  ago,  when  I  never  had  received 
a  single  bouquet,  I  should  have  been  excited  and 
enchanted.  I  have  grown  very  old  in  these  two 
months,  I  am  like  another  person.  All  my  thoughts 
dwell  now  in  the  past,  and  I  look  into  the  future 
without  hope  or  joy. 

One  hour  later.  I  was  still  sitting  in  my  cabin 
when  Angelique  brought  me  a  little  box,  she  said 
had  been  overlooked,  it  was  so  small  and  insig- 
nificant. I  took  it  with  a  strange  emotion  and  told 
Angelique  to  carry  away  all  the  other  flowers,  I 
could  not  suffer  them  around  me. 

After  she  had  gone,  I  opened  the  little  box;  my 
fingers  trembled  and  my  heart  palpitated.  Inside 
lay  a  pansy  and  a  spray  of  forget-me-nots!  No 
card  was  within,  no  card  was  necessary ! 

As  I  gazed  upon  these  tokens  my  eyes  filled  with 
tears ;  could  any  offering  have  been  more  full  of 
knowledge  and  sympathy  ?  He  had  remembered  my 
saying  on  our  wonderful  drive  that  a  pansy  repre- 
sented a  thought,  the  forget-me-not  a  request.  Oh ! 
how  I  kissed  them!  for  surely  his  hand  alone  had 
touched  them,  and  my  heart  glowed  as  if  something 
loving  and  kind  had  awakened  it.  Like  Pandora, 
hope  I  had  found  after  disappointment ;  hope,  which 
had  neither  shape  nor  substance,  but  then  it  was  — 
hope. 


PART  II 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS 


XXIII 

SEPTEMBER  26th.     I    wonder    if    philosophy 
makes    sad    hearts    less   heavy!     I    have    read 
much   lately,    seeking  to   grasp   new   thoughts   like 
persons  blind  holding  out  their   fingers  to   find   a 
guidance. 

Nearly  one  month  have  I  been  in  this  hated 
country,  in  my  step-father's  castle  in  Hanover,  and 
my  little  book  have  I  not  opened ;  no,  what  interest 
is  there  in  uttering  laments?  but  now  I  will  lament 
no  longer  and  try  to  find  cause  of  laughter  in  my 
own  distress  like  a  true  philosopher,  or  in  the  foibles 
of  my  companions  which  must  turn  my  sighs  to 
smiles.  Brave  people  always  laugh,  even  with  tears 
in  their  eyes. 

My  days  are  occupied  in  this  manner : 
Breakfast  at  eight,  all  the  family  assembled.  My 
step- father  at  the  head,  quite  unmistakably;  my 
mother  opposite,  pouring  out  the  coffee.  She  likes 
it  when  people  say  we  look  like  sisters  and,  in  truth, 
she  seems  not  very  middle  aged,  although  she  is 
nearly  forty.  Sometimes  a  guest  sits  at  her  right, 
but  it  is  always  certain  to  be  a  dull  person.  Then 
comes  Fraiilein,  that  odious  woman,  who  speaks 

231 


232  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

but  to  scold;  next  to  her  Wilhelmine,  aged  ten; 
gentle,  pretty  and  perfectly  stupid,  without  a  drop 
of  American  blood  to  add  a  little  vivacity  to  her 
German  nature.  Next  Mamma  on  her  left  sits 
Hugo;  a  nice  enough  boy,  but  who  hates  girls  and 
women,  and  who  thinks  of  nothing  but  of  the  Cadet 
School  which  he  enters  soon ;  he  was  very  offended 
with  me  for  saying  West  Point  was  the  best  military 
school  in  the  world,  but  now  we  are  friends  again, 
for  I  gave  him  a  knife  with  six  blades.  His  tutor 
comes  next,  Herr  Candidat  Cornelius  Hasemann. 
He  is  tall,  with  longish  hair,  very  near  sighted,  and 
Hugo  is  always  hiding  his  spectacles  whereby  he 
becomes  blind;  his  hands  and  feet  are  enormous, 
and  look  like  a  misfit  on  his  arms  and  legs,  and  he 
is  much  embarrassed  by  them.  At  the  first  repast 
I  began  a  conversation  with  him  as  if  he  were  an 
American  young  man,  but  he  was  so  shy  he  became 
very  red  and  his  pinch-nose  fell  off  into  his  soup; 
the  family  stopped  talking  to  listen  to  me.  What 
I  said  was  this: 

"  Herr  Candidat,  do  you  not  think  that  a  govern- 
ment for  the  people  and  by  the  people  makes  a 
better  nation  than  one  crushed  under  the  rule  of 
an  autocrat  ?  " 

He  did  not  answer,  there  was  silence  —  then  my 
step- father  spoke :  "  Yvonne,  you  forget  in  foreign 
countries  I  represent  my  Emperor  and  I  cannot  tol- 
erate at  my  table  radical  doctrines." 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  233 

"  Indeed,"  said  Mamma,  "  Yvonne  since  her  re- 
turn from  America  shows  an  independent  spirit 
which  is  most  unpleasant.  She  likes  to  be  alone; 
she  no  longer  courtesies  in  the  proper  manner;  she 
walks  as  if  she  were  indifferent  to  her  surroundings, 
and  altogether  she  has  changed  for  the  worse." 

"  Ach,"  said  Fraiilein  in  her  rasping  voice, 
"  Yvonne  has  become  quite  American ;  I  might  say 
a  Republican;  she  crosses  her  legs,  and  swings  her 
arms,  and  cares  not  in  what  folds  her  dresses  lie, 
and  she  no  longer  knits  or  sews,  but  reads  all  day 
long." 

"  And,"  piped  up  Wilhelmine,  "  she  eats  not  all 
upon  her  plate,  and  kisses  not  Papa's  hand  any 
more." 

"  Hand  kissing  is  absurd,"  said  Hugo,  who  only 
presses  his  nose  on  ladies'  hands. 

"  Hush,  children,"  said  my  step-father  sternly, 
"  you  were  not  questioned,  therefore  you  need  not 
speak." 

I  think  my  silence  was  noble,  for  I  did  not  reply 
to  any  of  these  accusations ;  if  you  know  you  cannot 
persuade  people  it  is  more  superior  to  leave  them  in 
their  dark  ignorance. 

I  have  obtained  the  permission  to  receive  Latin 
lessons  from  Herr  Hasemann,  and  we  have  profound 
conversations  about  histories  and  governments ;  I 
think  he  hides  a  socialistic  soul  beneath  his  long 
hair,  and  I  think  they  are  growing  together,  for  he 


234  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

never  cuts  his  hair,  and  he  becomes  more  and  more 
interested  in  what  I  tell  him  about  America;  thus 
in  my  glowing  descriptions  of  my  dear  country,  I 
forget  my  misery.  He  is  the  only  person  here  who 
disapproves  not  of  me,  and  so  our  lessons  are  a 
pleasure  to  us  both. 

Fraiilein  used  to  assist  at  them  at  first,  but  the 
arid  beginnings  of  Latin  interested  her  not,  so  she 
leaves  us  now  in  peace.  She  has  a  very  plebeian 
nature;  she  is  always  interested  in  the  servants'  af- 
fairs of  the  heart,  and  listens  to  Angelique's  recitals 
of  my  actions  in  America ;  she  questioned  me  about 
Prince  Ulrich's  visit,  but  I  would  say  nothing.  In 
truth  one  can  be  a  plebeian  without  being  a  Re- 
publican; between  the  two  there  is  a  great  dis- 
tinction. 

On  knowing  better  my  brother's  tutor,  I  find  he 
also  like  myself  is  searching  for  wider  horizons. 
I  give  an  example  of  one  of  my  lessons  with  him. 
At  opposite  sides  of  a  table  we  sit: 

"  Comtesse  Yvonne,  be  so  gracious  as  to  conju- 
gate the  verb  esse" 

I  begin  "  Sum,  es,  est,  sumus,  esies,  sunt." 

He  remains  with  his  mouth  wide  open  and  stares 
at  me  while  I  speak,  as  if  forgetting  he  were  giving 
me  a  lesson,  and  then  jumps  in  his  chair  and  runs 
his  long  fingers  through  his  long  hair  before  ques- 
tioning me  again. 

The  study  of  Latin  grammar  is  exhausting,  and 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  235 

in  the  same  manner  that  Lieutenant  Hill  and  I 
drifted  from  American  History  into  our  personal 
histories,  so  Candidat  Hasemann  and  I  exchange 
our  reflections. 

I  ask  him :  "  Are  you  really  going  to  become  a 
pastor  ?  " 

"  Ach  ya,  Comtesse  Yvonne,  that  is  my  vocation 
or  at  least  my  career;  for  eight  generations  in  my 
family  the  eldest  son  has  been  a  pastor ;  my  father 
naturally  wishes  me  to  follow  the  tradition." 

"  Ho\v  will  you  feel,"  I  ask,  "  when  you  enter 
the  pulpit  to  preach  the  first  time?"  for  I  could 
well  imagine  him  stumbling  up  the  steps  in  his  shy, 
awkward  way,  and  looking  wildly  and  speechless 
upon  a  congregation. 

"  Ach  mein  Gott!  the  thought  fills  me  with  fear, 
for  I  feel  that  I  have  no  aptitude  for  my  profession. 
I  know  not  how  to  express  the  thoughts  that  throb 
in  my  brain;  I  am  a  scholar,  I  love  my  books,  I 
reverence  the  great  teachers;  and  then  Comtesse 
Yvonne  dare  I  tell  you?  but  the  philosophers,  the 
agnostics,  the  free  thinkers,  the  socialist  doctrinaires, 
the  emancipated  spirits  have  for  me  a  terrible  fas- 
cination ;  they  seem  to  possess  minds  with  wings  — 
powerful  pinions  that  soar  high,  while  I  must  crawl 
along  the  beaten  path,  and  close  my  eyes  to  the  broad 
views  of  modern  times.  Have  I  the  right  to  stand 
in  a  pulpit  and  speak  to  men  of  doctrines  which  I  be- 
lieve not  in,  or  to  admonish  them  in  ways  of  virtue 


236  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

towards  which  I  am  unable  to  lead?  Ach!  my  soul 
is  torn  with  doubts !  " 

He  waved  his  arms  in  the  air.  I  thought  per- 
haps I  could  help  to  emancipate  him. 

"  Dear  Herr  Candidat,"  I  said,  "  why  not  free 
yourself  and  become  an  independent  man?  " 

He  paced  the  room ;  a  chair  or  two  falling  to  the 
floor  as  he  knocked  into  them.  "  Ach  barmherziger 
Himmel!"  he  exclaimed,  "how  can  I  free  myself! 
I  am  the  weak  little  stream  following  the  channel 
cut  in  the  rock  of  fate,  by  eight  generations  of  an- 
cestors. I  am  the  oldest  of  nine  children ;  my  father 
has  made  every  sacrifice  to  send  me  to  the  Uni- 
versity," then  stopping  suddenly,  "  this  story  of 
myself  cannot  interest  you." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  exclaimed,  "  it  interests  me  im- 
mensely, for  truly  when  a  person  speaks  from  the 
heart  as  you  do,  Herr  Candidat,  I  could  listen  all 
day  long." 

He  looked  at  me  very  gratefully  at  these  words, 
and  sighed  and  sighed. 

Yesterday  we  had  again  wandered  away  from 
Latin  and  seeing  that  continually  he  is  distressed  in 
his  thoughts,  I  tried  to  make  him  feel  more  at  his 
ease  with  me. 

"  You  see,  Herr  Hasemann,"  I  said,  "  you  and  I 
in  this  castle  can  only  exchange  our  aspirations  with 
each  other,  for  no  one  else  would  understand.  I 
also  make  dreams  of  emancipation;  for  I  am  an 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  237 

American,  and  in  my  dear  country  we  should  both 
be  free.  You  would  not  be  bound  to  step  into  your 
father's  shoes,  I  mean  into  his  pulpit.  In  America 
you  could  follow  your  own  ambition." 

"  Ach,  Comtesse  Yvonne,  if  I  could  shake  off  my 
fetters,  I  would  reach  upwards  and  embrace  a  new 
career." 

He  opened  wide  his  long  arms  and  threw  back 
his  head.  He  looked  so  ridiculous  that  had  I  not 
pitied  him,  I  should  have  laughed ;  but  controlling 
that  unkind  impulse,  I  spoke  even  more  gently  than 
usual. 

"  Dear  Herr  Candidat,  why  not  liberate  yourself, 
and  go  to  America,  and  show  the  world  you  can  do 
great  things?  " 

"  Ach,  Comtesse  Yvonne !  I  have  no  money,  no 
patronage !  " 

"  Perhaps  I  can  help  you,  by  writing  to  my  grand- 
mother to  assist  you  to  become  a  philosopher.  She 
is  very  kind  and  generous." 

"  Comtesse  Yvonne,  you  overwhelm  me  with  your 
goodness.  Ach!  if  only  you  were  not  a  high  born 
Fraiilein." 

"  But  I  am  not,"  I  interrupted  eagerly,  "  I  am 
just  like  you  —  biirgerlich,  I  am  proud  of  it ;  in 
my  land  we  are  all  equal,  and  I  want  to  beg  you  not 
to  call  me  —  Comtesse  Yvonne." 

"  What  would  the  Frau  Grafin  say  ?  " 

I  hesitated :     "  My  mother  wishes  me  called  thus 


238  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

to  make  no  difference  between  me  and  my  sister 
Wilhelmine;  before  her  then  perhaps  you  had  better 
give  me  the  title  which  in  my  heart  I  think  odious, 
but  when  we  are  alone  remember  I  like  absolute 
equality." 

" Ach,  mem  Fraulein!  you  make  me  so  happy; 
you  think  then  there  is  no  difference  between  us? 
that  I  am  your  equal  ?  " 

"  Herr  Candidat,"  I  answered  with  great  seri- 
ousness, "  you  are  my  superior,  for  you  work ;  people 
who  like  myself  take  no  part  in  the  labor  of  the 
world  are  inferior  beings.  I  watch  the  little  ants 
and  the  busy  bees  so  active  and  laborious  all  day 
long,  and  reflect  how  much  more  useful  creatures 
of  the  universe  they  are  than  I.  Thus  I  consider 
you  my  superior,  and  you  must  henceforth  have 
more  confidence  in  yourself." 

"  Ach,  Fraulein  Yvonne,  you  are  as  good  and 
wise  as  you  are  beautiful." 

Thus  a  bond  of  sympathy  has  established  itself 
between  Cornelius  Hasemann  and  me, —  between 
our  two  minds,  for  otherwise  his  personality  is  not 
in  any  fashion  seductive. 

I  also  study  the  English  language  assiduously 
so  as  to  make  no  more  mistakes  in  my  turn  of 
phrases.  Much  of  my  days  I  spend  locked  up  in 
my  room,  and  as  I  look  at  the  German  landscape 
from  my  turret  it  gives  me  no  pleasure ;  only  the 
clouds  I  contemplate,  for  when  driven  by  an  east 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  239 

wind  I  think  they  are  sailing  towards  America,  and 
I  long  to  be  swept  away  on  their  white  wings.  I 
am  not  allowed  to  walk  alone  in  our  park,  except 
in  view  of  the  castle.  I  often  sit  for  hours  beneath 
some  great  cedars  of  Lebanon,  and  I  dream  and  I 
dream;  through  the  branches  I  see  a  bit  of  blue  sky, 
and  I  wonder  if,  in  the  manner  of  the  earth's  ro- 
tation, that  bit  of  sky  has  been  looked  upon  by  those 
three  thousand  miles  away.  I  should  like  to  whisper 
messages  to  the  sun  and  moon  which  illumine  all 
the  continents,  but  I  cannot  gaze  upon  the  sun,  and 
the  moon  regards  me  coldly.  I  feel  with  mournful- 
ness  that  I  am  a  useless  object  on  the  face  of  the 
globe;  I  long  to  be  active  and  join  in  the  struggle 
for  existence  I  perceive  going  on  all. around  me; 
down  among  infinitesimal  creatures,  up  to  the  busy 
Chancellor  of  the  Empire.  I  want  to  work  at  some- 
thing. To  be  able  to  weave  a  basket  and  place  it 
on  the  market  for  sale,  would  be  a  contentment. 
My  step-father  often  takes  me  to  ride,  that  is  my 
only  distraction,  and  thus  my  days  pass  by  in  heavy 
monotony. 


XXIV 

SEPTEMBER  3<Dth.  At  last  I  open  my  little 
book  not  in  vain  for  I  have  something  to  re- 
late. 

The  Autumn  Manoeuvres  are  taking  place  in  our 
neighborhood  and  the  Emperor  is  staying  at  the 
castle  of  a  cousin  of  my  step- father;  several  officers 
and  a  lot  of  men  are  quartered  with  us. 

Yesterday  I  rode  with  the  gentlemen  to  the  great 
field  where  the  first  review  took  place,  and  some  of 
the  officers  did  not  consider  me  like  my  step- father  — 
too  young  to  converse,  and  we  talked  quite  gaily; 
this  was  a  surprise  to  me,  for  I  meant  to  be  sad 
like  a  stranger  far  from  my  country,  but  my  reserve 
melted ;  I  forgot  my  troubling  thoughts ;  the  younger 
officers  and  I,  riding  through  the  forest,  in  the  morn- 
ing air  so  fresh,  formed  the  rear  guard  of  the  cav- 
alcade. 

We  had  five  German  miles  to  go,  and  when  we 
arrived  at  the  Camp  of  Manoeuvre  the  sight  was 
very  imposing.  A  great  line  of  cavalry  was  drawn 
-up  awaiting  the  Emperor's  arrival,  and  when  he 
took  his  position  with  his  staff  on  a  little  hillock 
above  the  field,  I  felt  quite  excited  by  the  spectacle. 

240 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  241 

A  quantity  of  persons  had  arrived.  I  was  for- 
tunate enough  to  be  in  the  first  rank,  although  this 
position  was  the  cause  of  my  misadventure.  A 
charge  of  artillery  took  place,  and  down  the  incline, 
at  a  grand  speed,  came  the  thunder  of  the  caissons 
and  of  the  mounted  guns.  I  suppose  I  was  holding 
my  bridle  loosely,  for  my  horse  suddenly  quivered 
with  excitement,  and,  plunging  and  rearing  before 
I  knew  what  happened,  cleared  a  little  ditch  before 
us  and  galloped  alongside  of  the  troops. 

The  noise  beside  us  made  him  go  faster  and 
faster.  Soon  he  was  bolting  without  my  having 
any  power  to  stop  him;  we  gained  on  the  troops, 
and  as  we  reached  the  hill  where  the  Emperor  was 
standing,  I  was  at  the  head  of  the  charge,  on  a 
line  with  the  commanding  officer.  It  was  wildly 
exciting,  and  I  raised  my  hand  to  salute,  while  I 
heard  shouts  in  all  directions.  Then  I  realized  that 
unable  to  guide  my  horse,  I  must  urge  him  on,  so 
as  not  be  run  down  by  the  battery  behind  me,  and 
faster  we  flew. 

I  heard  a  loud  command,  and  I  perceived  by  a 
superb  manoeuvre  the  whole  battalion  swerved  to 
the  left ;  thus  I  went  on  without  danger,  and  soon 
my  horse  was  pacified.  I  turned  round  and  slowly 
rode  back,  stroking  my  horse  and  trying  to  quiet 
him  completely.  I  perceived  an  officer  riding 
quickly  towards  me.  It  was  not  a  Prussian  officer. 
He  wore  the  Austrian  uniform.  I  recognized 
16 


242  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Prince  Ulrich.  He  was  very  pale  and  bowing  to 
me  said :  "  His  Majesty  commands  your  presence." 
He  took  my  horse's  bridle. 

"  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  said,  "  it  is  not  necessary  for 
you  to  hold  him,  he  is  quiet  now." 

But  Prince  Ulrich  shook  his  head  and  kept  his 
hold  on  my  bridle.  "  You  have  been  in  the  greatest 
danger  of  being  trampled  on  by  the  whole  battery, 
you  must  never  ride  this  horse  again." 

"  Oh,  he  is  my  favorite,"  I  exclaimed,  "  and 
truly  I  loved  the  excitement;  it  is  the  first  time  I 
have  felt  myself  alive  since  I  have  returned  to  this 
horrible  country."  Prince  Ulrich  looked  at  me  re- 
proachfully, and  I  felt  suddenly  revived  the  same 
old  feeling  for  him  of  respect  and  sympathy,  mixed 
with  impatience  at  his  air  of  authority  and  intol- 
erance. 

"Are  you  really  not  happy?"  he  asked  after  a 
moment;  his  voice  was  kind,  and  he  was  the  first 
who  seemed  to  care  about  what  I  felt. 

"  No,  I  am  not,"  I  answered,  and  I  felt  my  eyes 
moisten,  but  remembering  my  resolve  of  courage,  I 
smiled  and  held  out  my  hand  to  him.  "  I  am  very 
happy  to  see  you,  Prince  Ulrich." 

And  he  looked  so  pleased,  that  I  thought  it  were 
perhaps  better  not  to  say  nice  things  to  him ;  it  is  so 
difficult  to  measure  one's  words  after  a  man  has 
made  a  declaration  of  love ;  if  you  are  nice,  he  thinks 
you  relent;  if  you  are  horrid,  he  looks  distressed;  so 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  243 

i 

it  was  with   Lieutenant   Hill,   and   the   same   with 

Cousin  Henry. 

Prince  Ulrich  held  my  hand  but  an  instant  for 
we  came  in  view  of  the  Emperor  and  his  staff.  One 
of  the  Aides  advanced  and  asked,  "  Is  the  young 
lady  injured  by  the  fright?  " 

"  Oh,  no,"  I  answered  gaily,  "  I  enjoyed  it  very 
much." 

Prince  Ulrich  said  sternly,  "  Be  careful  how  you 
answer  the  Emperor." 

His  Majesty  was  very  gracious  and  made  me  no 
reproaches,  but  treated  the  affair  as  an  accident.  I 
answered  in  a  very  proper  manner.  As  another 
charge  of  cavalry  was  coming,  he  ordered  me  behind 
him  with  an  Aide  to  hold  my  bridle.  My  step- 
father approached  me,  and  I  was  surprised  to  see 
he  had  been  very  much  worried,  for  I  had  thought 
so  little  of  the  danger. 

My  mother,  who  was  in  a  victoria,  told  me  I  had 
made  myself  ridiculous,  and  henceforth  I  should 
drive  with  her,  which  would  be  an  abomination; 
I  had  rather  stay  at  home.  And  thus  the  incident 
caused  many  officers  to  notice  me  and  be  introduced, 
and  I  had  a  very  amusing  time. 

The  dinner  at  the  castle  of  my  step-father's  cousin 
was  very  gay.  The  young  people  sat  at  a  different 
table,  and  at  the  dance  afterwards  I  had  more  cav- 
aliers than  I  could  accept.  Prince  Ulrich  danced 
only  with  me  and  with  the  wife  of  my  step-father's 


244  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

cousin.  I  must  say,  he  looks  very  handsome  in 
his  beautiful  Austrian  uniform;  I  wish  he  liked  me 
instead  of  loving  me,  for  then  we  could  be  such 
good  friends. 

I  saw  him  and  my  mother  in  deep  conversation, 
and  the  result  was,  this  morning  I  was  called  to  my 
mother's  little  sitting-room,  and  here  I  inscribe  our 
interview : 

My  mother  — "  My  dear  child,  I  wish  to  announce 
to  you  that  Prince  Ulrich  of  Weissenberg  has  done 
you  the  honor  to  ask  your  hand  in  marriage." 

I  — "  Yes,  Mamma,  he  asked  me  this  summer  in 
America  to  marry  him,  and  I  refused  him." 

My  mother  — "  Your  refusal,  my  dear  child,  is 
of  no  importance ;  you  had  not  reflected  what  a  bril- 
liant offer  you  were  receiving;  your  father  and  I 
entirely  approve  of  this  marriage.  The  idea  may 
frighten  you  a  little  as  the  Prince  has  an  imposing 
appearance,  as  such  a  grand  seigiicur  should  have, 
and  you  may  not  wish  to  leave  your  happy  sur- 
roundings, and  marriage  is  perhaps  a  little  appalling, 
but—" 

I,  interrupting  — "  Oh,  Mamma,  I  should  be  very 
glad  to  marry,  but  I  told  Prince  Ulrich  it  would 
never  be  with  a  European." 

My  mother  — "  You  are  very  silly  and  obstinate, 
Yvonne.  Remember  the  Prince  belongs  to  the  Or- 
der of  the  Golden  Fleece ;  he  is  a  mediatised  noble- 
man ;  his  children  can  marry  royalty." 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  245 

I  — "  I  care  not,  Mamma,  if  my  husband  wears 
a  little  gold  mutton  round  his  neck  and  if  his  chil- 
dren marry  kings  and  princes ;  I  do  not  wish  Prince 
Ulrich's  children  to  be  mine,  for  my  children  shall 
be  true  Americans." 

My  mother,  angrily  — "  You  are  very  imperti- 
nent, Yvonne,  and  I  am  very  good  to  be  so  patient 
with  you.  Your  conduct  is  deplorable  since  you 
came  home.  You  have  taken  airs  most  unbecoming 
to  a  young  lady.  I  observed  yesterday  your  free- 
dom in  conversation  with  gentlemen,  which  may  be 
tolerated  in  America  where  there  is  no  proper  re- 
serve among  young  people,  but  here  such  conduct 
is  judged  as  fast  and  immodest." 

I,  with  indignation  — "  I  can  assure  you,  Mamma, 
that  in  America, —  the  country  in  which  you  were 
born,  and  which  you  have  quite  forgotten  —  young 
girls  are  not  fast  and  immodest;  our  beautiful  free- 
dom teaches  us  to  care  for  ourselves,  and  be  pure 
in  mind,  and  think  no  evil,  and  we  are  respected 
by  men  in  all  conditions  of  life." 

My  mother,  laughing  disdainfully  — "  You  have 
truly  become  a  red  Republican,  but  you  only  deserve 
to  be  treated  as  a  ridiculous  child." 

I,  calmly  — "  In  that  case,  dear  Mamma,  I  am  too 
young  to  be  married,  and  Prince  Ulrich  knows  well 
my  feelings." 

My  mother  — "  He  spoke  to  me  of  some  absurd 
attachment  or  engagement  you  had  formed,  but  I 


246  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

told  him  that  from  what  I  heard  it  was  a  babyish 
flirtation  you  had  taken  too  seriously." 

I  — "  What  you  heard,  dear  Mamma,  could  have 
only  been  Angelique's  opinion  reported  by  Fraiilein, 
and  that  I  would  not  value  very  much." 

My  mother,  very  angry  — "  Go  to  your  room ; 
your  impudence  is  abominable;  you  shall  stay  there 
until  I  send  for  you ;  I  will  tell  Fraiilein  to  lock  you 
in,  for  I  cannot  trust  you."  (Then  calling  me  back 
as  I  reached  the  door)  "  You  shall  return  henceforth 
to  the  schoolroom,  which  you  may  be  glad  to  leave 
to  become  one  of  the  great  ladies  of  Europe." 

I  made  no  answer  but  fled  to  my  room  in  a  blue 
rage.  I  threw  myself  on  the  floor,  shaken  with 
dry  sobs.  Oh!  I  am  so  unhappy!  If  only  I  could 
run  away.  I  feel  like  a  stormy  petrel  shrieking  in 
the  dark  skies. 

I  have  just  had  an  excellent  idea ;  I  shall  beg 
Prince  Ulrich,  for  my  sake,  to  marry  some  queen 
or  royal  princess,  and  then  I  shall  be  left  in  peace. 
That  at  least  will  dissolve  for  the  moment  this  hor- 
rid persecution.  If  I  were  only  twenty-one,  I  should 
be  free  to  return  to  my  darling  grandmamma; 
oh,  how  slowly  one  gets  old  when  one  is  young ! 


XXV 

OCTOBER  ist.  Twenty- four  hours  have  I 
been  in  my  room,  with  bitterness  and  anger 
in  my  heart.  How  can  I  wait  nearly  three  years 
until  I  am  free?  I  saw  this  morning  the  officers 
riding  away  to  the  Camp  of  Manoeuvre,  the  one 
pleasure  I  might  enjoy,  but  no,  there  are  no  pleas- 
ures for  me  any  more,  and  my  youth  will  pass 
away  without  joy  or  recreation.  To-night  is  the 
big  ball  here  in  honor  of  the  Emperor.  I  shall  hear 
the  music,  and  remain  imprisoned  like  a  naughty 
child. 

One  person  at  least  is  sorry  for  me,  that  is  Can- 
didat  Hasemann;  but  I  am  destined  alas!  to  make 
him  also  unhappy.  A  sheet  of  paper  was  slipped  un- 
der the  door.  In  thirty  stanzas  was  written  a  decla- 
ration of  love  beginning: 

"  Du  herzallcrliebste   Yvonne! 
Mein  Schmerz,  mein  Gliick,  und  Pein,  und   Wonne — " 

and  continuing  with  the  expressions  of  an  ardent 
love.  The  signature,  Cornelius  Hasemann,  is  so 
unpoetic  —  I  should  laugh  if  my  soul  was  not  in 
pain,  but  I  must  make  an  effort  to  respect  feelings 

247 


248  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  cannot  'share,  and  that  even  somewhat  offend  me. 
At  the  end  of  the  poem,  he  said  in  prose  he  was 
leaving  the  castle  for  Hamburg,  to  await  my  answer, 
as  he  feared  notwithstanding  my  encouraging  words 
that  his  love  was  hopeless.  I  do  not  understand 
why  our  talks  on  philosophy  should  have  such  a 
distressing  result;  and  although  his  words  are  hum- 
ble, it  is  surely  presuming  of  him  to  make  love  to 
me. 

Again  I  heard  a  rustle  beneath  my  door  and 
Hugo's  voice  saying,  "  I  have  brought  you  an  Amer- 
ican letter." 

The  faces  of  our  modern  Presidents  on  stamps 
are  not  very  heroic,  but  they  always  make  my  heart 
beat  a  little  faster  with  pleasure.  It  was  a  letter 
from  Anna  Engel  and  I  transcribe  it,  as  it  has  had 
much  influence  over  my  actions: 

"Dearest  Miss  Carrington: 

"  I  must  write  to  you,  to  tell  you  how  happy  I 
am,  for,  owing  to  you,  I  am  well  and  the  doctor 
says  I  can  go  to  work  again  in  healthy  surround- 
ings, so  I  am  most  fortunate.  Mr.  Dale,  who  vis- 
its us,  told  me  yesterday  he  had  found  a  position 
for  me  in  a  nice  family,  who  are  going  to  San 
Moritz,  and  that  is  just  the  place  to  complete  my 
recovery.  I  thanked  him  with  tears  in  my  eyes,  and, 
dearest  Miss  Carrington,  I  look  upon  you  and  him 
as  my  benefactors,  for  without  you  both  I  should 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  249 

have  succumbed  to  the  terrible,  White  Plague.  In 
my  prayers  I  unite  you  both  when  thanking  the 
good  God  for  all  His  mercies  to  me.  It  is  two  years 
ago  since  I  came  to  this  country,  when  I  was  seven- 
teen, knowing  no  one,  and  speaking  but  a  few  words 
of  English;  here  I  discovered  that  people  could  be 
very  unkind  like  devils  and  good  like  angels.  I  was 
distressed  to  hear  through  Mr.  Dale  that  your  grand- 
mother, who  is  in  Lenox  now  for  the  autumn,  was 
so  ill  — " 

I  threw  down  the  letter.  What  did  that  mean? 
My  grandmother  very  ill,  and  I  not  know  of  it. 
Indeed  I  had  not  received  from  her  my  weekly  let- 
ter; had  news  been  sent  which  I  had  not  heard?  I 
could  not  wait  a  moment  longer;  I  had  disdained 
till  then  to  try  and  escape,  but  I  knew  a  way  in 
which  I  could  get  out  of  my  room.  It  was  even- 
ing now  and  dark  outside;  by  climbing  out  of  the 
window  of  my  dressing-room,  I  could  drop  down 
on  a  little  balcony  about  five  feet  below. 

I  am  agile  and  it  was  not  difficult.  I  burst  open 
the  window  of  the  room  opening  on  the  balcony.  A 
lady  was  dressing  for  the  ball;  she  and  her  maid 
looked  at  me  stupefied ;  but  I  cared  not,  and  without 
making  excuses  I  rushed  through  the  room  and  ran 
along  the  corridor  to  my  mother's  little  sitting- 
room,  which  I  entered  without  knocking.  No  one 
was  there,  but  on  the  table  I  saw  the  envelope  of 


250  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

a  telegram;  I  took  it;  it  was  addressed  to  me;  it 
had  been  opened,  read  and  I  had  not  been  told. 

Flaming  with  indignation,  I  flew  into  my  mother's 
dressing-room;  she  was  seated  before  her  toilet 
table,  polishing  her  nails,  while  Angelique  was  doing 
her  hair.  She  was  giving  directions  to  the  house- 
keeper, and  Fraiilein  was  standing  in  a  corner  with 
Wilhelmine,  who  loves  to  watch  people  dress. 

My  voice  trembled  with  passion  as  I  asked 
abruptly,  "  Where  is  the  telegram  that  was  sent 
to  me  ?  " 

My  mother  looked  at  me  with  eyes  of  anger : 
"  How  dare  you  enter  my  room  like  this  ?  How 
did  you  get  out  of  your  room?  Fraiilein,  is  not  the 
door  locked  ?  " 

But  I  gave  not  Fraiilein  the  chance  to  answer,  and 
stamping  my  foot  I  cried,  "  Give  me  my  telegram. 
You  had  no  right  to  take  it;  it  is  mine;  give  it  to 
me." 

There  was  a  chorus  of  shocked  expressions;  An- 
gelique ejaculated,  "  Bonte  divine,  Mademoiselle 
Yvonne  est  folle !  " 

The  housekeeper  murmured,  "  Du  lieber  Him- 
mel!" 

Fraiilein  exclaimed,  "  Ach!  solch  Benehmen  ist 
emporend!  ya!  ganz  entzetzlich! " 

My  mother  arose,  her  long  hair  streaming  over 
her  shoulders,  "  Out  of  my  room,  at  once,"  she 
commanded. 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  251 

"  No,"  I  answered,  "  I  will  not  go  until  I  have 
my  telegram." 

Fraiilein  put  her  hand  on  my  shoulder,  but  I 
shook  her  off  with  violence,  and  Wilhelmine  began 
to  cry.  At  the  noise  thus  made,  my  step- father  en- 
tered the  room  dressed  in  his  Ambassador's  uniform 
to  receive  the  Emperor. 

"What  is  the  trouble?  "  he  asked  quietly. 

"  Oh,  you  at  least  are  just,"  I  exclaimed  quite 
wildly,  "  come  to  my  aid.  I  am  sure  my  grand- 
mother is  ill,  very  ill.  Here  see,  is  a  telegram  ad- 
dressed to  me  and  Mamma  has  taken  it,  and  will  not 
show  it  to  me.  Oh!  please  tell  me,  if  it  is  very  bad 
news  ?  " 

"  Have  you  heard  anything,  my  dear,  concerning 
Mrs.  Carrington  ?  "  he  asked  my  mother. 

"  Yes,"  she  answered,  "  a  telegram  came  yester- 
day, from  a  Mr.  Short.  I  had  just  had  an  un- 
pleasant scene  with  Yvonne,  and  I  thought  I  would 
let  her  come  to  her  senses  before  sending  for  her ; 
as  nothing  can  be  done  now,  it  would  be  time  enough 
to  tell  her  after  the  ball." 

"  My  grandmother  is  dead !  "  I  cried,  "  I  am  sure 
she  is  dead,  and  you  wanted  me  to  be  gay  and 
dance." 

I  looked  at  my  mother  so  fiercely  that  she  stepped 
back,  and  then  raising  her  eyebrows  in  disdain,  she 
seated  herself  at  the  table  and  told  her  maid  to  do 
her  hair. 


252  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

My  step- father  put  his  hand  on  my  arm,  "  Hush, 
Yvonne.  You  are  beside  yourself.  You  shall  not 
speak  to  your  mother  in  that  tone."  He  could  feel 
I  was  trembling.  "  Where  is  the  telegram,  my 
dear  ?  "  he  asked. 

My  mother  told  Angelique  to  look  for  it  in  the 
writing-desk.  We  were  all  silent.  I  felt  as  if  my 
heart  would  jump  out  of  my  breast.  My  step-fa- 
ther took  the  telegram  and  read  it  to  himself;  then 
he  said,  "  I  think  as  Yvonne  is  so  anxious  she  had 
better  know  the  news ;  "  he  read  aloud :  "  Your 
grandmother  is  ill  with  acute  bronchitis,  come  if 
you  can  by  Thursday's  steamer,  condition  seri- 
ous, not  dangerous.  Signed,  Henry  Short."  He 
handed  me  the  telegram. 

'''  You  perceive,"  said  my  mother  coldly,  "  there 
is  nothing  to  be  done.  It  is  out  of  the  question  that 
Yvonne  should  take  the  steamer,  it  sails  to-morrow. 
It  is  impossible  to  make  preparations  at  such  short 
notice." 

I  could  not  speak  or  I  should  have  burst  out  cry- 
ing. 

"  Fraiilein,"  said  my  step-father,  "  conduct 
Yvonne  to  her  room;  the  Countess  will  send  orders 
concerning  her  later." 

I  left  without  a  word,  pressing  the  telegram  in 
my  hand  and  not  heeding  the  remarks  Fraiilein 
poured  upon  me;  she  unlocked  my  door  and  asked 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  253 

how  I  escaped,  but  I  would  not  answer.  I  felt 
stunned.  In  a  moment  she  returned ;  she  had  heard 
through  the  lady's  maid  how  I  escaped.  With  an 
indignant  cackle,  like  a  hen,  she  locked  also  the 
door  of  the  dressing-room  and  left  with  the  keys: 
"  Now  unless  you  have  wings  you  cannot  fly  from 
here." 

I  paced  my  turret  chamber  like  a  wild  animal  in 
a  cage.  I  looked  out  of  the  window,  thinking  of 
all  the  mad  escapes  I  had  read  about,  but  I  was 
three  stories  from  the  ground,  and  my  two  sheets 
tied  together  would  reach  but  a  little  way.  There 
was  no  open  fireplace  by  which  I  could  crawl  onto 
the  roof,  only  a  porcelain  stove.  My  mind  fluttered 
between  a  thousand  impossible  projects.  The 
steamer  sailed  to-morrow  —  could  I  persuade  An- 
gelique  to  fly  with  me  ?  No,  I  knew  she  would  not. 
I  saw  Anna  Engel's  letter  on  the  table ;  it  reminded 
me  that  she,  younger  than  I,  had  traversed  the  ocean 
alone,  not  knowing  the  language,  arriving  among 
strangers,  therefore  I  certainly  could  go  alone.  But 
was  it  not  too  late  ?  When  did  the  steamer  sail  ?  I 
must  know ! 

I  heard  a  soft  knock  at  the  door;  then  Hugo's 
voice  in  a  whisper,  "  Poor  Yvonne,  I  am  sorry  you 
are  shut  up  here  to-night,  and  you  won't  see  my 
new  uniform;  can  I  do  anything  for  you?  " 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  "  dear  Hugo,  run  and  get  me  the 
journal." 


254          .  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

He  soon  returned  and  slipped  each  sheet  under 
the  door  and  then  ran  away. 

A  plot  was  beginning  to  form  in  my  brain.  I 
looked  at  the  shipping  news :  the  steamer  sailed  from 
Hamburg  to-morrow  morning  at  ten.  If  I  could 
catch  the  milk  train  leaving  our  little  station  at  two, 
in  the  night,  I  could  get  to  Hanover  in  an  hour, 
and  take  the  five  o'clock  train  to  Hamburg,  getting 
there  in  time.  But  in  some  manner  I  must  escape 
from  my  room.  As  I  was  wondering  whether  I 
could  force  the  lock  with  my  scissors,  I  heard  the 
key  turn,  and  Angelique  entered  with  my  ball  dress ; 
she  told  me  my  mother  wished  me  to  appear  at  the 
ball.  My  first  impulse  was  to  refuse,  but  then  I 
quickly  reflected  I  now  had  a  way  to  escape,  so 
I  resolved  to  play  a  comedy  with  tragedy  in  my 
heart. 

Fraiilein  entered  a  moment  afterwards  followed 
by  Wilhelmine :  Fraiilein  had  evidently  been  sent 
to  watch  me.  I  bathed  my  face  in  cold  water,  but 
I  still  felt  a  deep  flush  in  my  cheeks. 

"  Oh,  Yvonne,"  said  my  sister,  "  you  look  so 
pretty  to-night;  nearly  as  pretty  as  Mamma  when 
she  puts  color  on,  but  you  know  you  have  been 
very  naughty." 

"  Yes,"  said  Fraiilein,  "  take  warning,  Wilhel- 
mine, not  to  be  like  Yvonne;  it  is  America  which 
produces  this  pernicious  effect." 

They  went  on  talking  about  me,  but  I  paid  no 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  255 

attention  until  Wilhelmine,  who  has  a  manner  of 
touching  things,  exclaimed,  "  Who  calls  you  Herz- 
allerliebste  Yvonne,  and  writes  a  long  poem?  " 

Fraiilein  seized  the  paper.  "  Ach!  it  is  Herr  Can- 
didat  Hasemann's  writing ;  I  shall  warn  your  mother, 
Yvonne,  to-morrow;  it  is  most  shocking  and  un- 
seemly to  have  a  flirtation  with  your  brother's  tutor ; 
your  interest  in  Latin  was  only  an  excuse,"  and  she 
pocketed  the  verses  and  cackled  again. 

I  was  annoyed;  but  after  all  to-morrow  no  one 
could  harm  me,  and  poor  Herr  Hasemann  was 
also  leaving.  I  showed  a  superbly  indifferent 
aspect,  and  spoke  not  a  word,  for  I  was  concen- 
trating all  my  forces  on  playing  a  difficult  role. 
Just  as  I  had  finished  dressing,  Hugo  rushed  into 
my  room.  "  Come  quick,  Yvonne,"  he  cried,  "  the 
Emperor  is  arriving!  I  am  so  glad  Papa  wanted 
you  to  be  present!  See  my  cadet  uniform."  He 
seized  my  hand  and  we  ran  down  stairs  together. 

The  imperial  carriage  was  driving  up.  My  step- 
father was  at  the  door;  my  mother  in  the  hall;  she 
gave  me  a  cold  glance  and  beckoned  me  to  her 
side.  We  courtesied  profoundly  as  the  Emperor 
greeted  us.  A  fanfare  was  played,  and  we  all  en- 
tered the  great  ball  room.  It  was  filled  with  peo- 
ple, the  brilliant  uniforms  putting  the  ladies'  dresses 
in  the  shade. 

I  gave  myself  to  dancing  as  never  before  in  my 
life.  I  felt  capable  of  the  wittiest  answers  to  my 


256  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

cavaliers.  I  experienced  a  sort  of  intoxication,  as 
if  exalted  by  the  spirit  of  my  resolution.  My 
mother,  as  once  I  approached  her,  made  a  disdain- 
ful remark  that  my  worries  had  been  soon  forgotten ; 
I  simply  smiled  an  answer. 

Prince  Ulrich  watched  me  the  whole  evening. 
Once  I  waltzed  with  him ;  he  inquired  with  concern 
if  I  had  fever.  "  Fiebertanz "  I  called  out  as  I 
flew  away  on  the  arm  of  an  officer. 

After  dancing  unceasingly  I  stood  for  a  moment 
breathless,  surrounded  by  cavaliers.  Prince  Ulrich 
approached;  they  made  way  for  him  respectfully, 
for  here  he  is  a  great  personage. 

"  Allow  me,"  he  said,  offering  me  his  arm, 
"  to  take  you  to  the  buffet  for  some  refreshment." 

I  bowed  and  accepted. 

"  You  are  very  much  flushed,"  he  said,  "  are  you 
ill?" 

"  I  am  not  ill,"  I  said,  and  sipped  the  lemonade 
he  had  ordered. 

"  You  are  unlike  yourself,  you  are  excited,  un- 
natural." 

"  Oh,  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  said,  forcing  myself  to 
laugh,  "  I  am  excited  by  the  joy  of  the  dance." 

"  I  think  not,"  he  said  quietly,  "  you  have  some- 
thing on  your  mind." 

"  The  dance  is  nearly  at  an  end,"  I  said,  "  let  us 
return  to  the  ball  room;  in  a  few  minutes  every- 
thing will  be  over." 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  257 

"  I  wish  to  detain  you  a  minute,"  he  said  in  his 
calm,  impassive  way,  as  if  he  always  expected  to 
be  obeyed,  "  I  have  had  a  conversation  with  your 
mother." 

"  Oh,  I  know,"  I  interrupted,  "  as  a  consequence 
I  was  locked  up  in  my  room  for  two  days." 

"  I  deeply  regret  to  have  been  the  cause  of  annoy- 
ance to  you." 

"  Let  us  return  to  the  ball  room,"  I  said  again. 

"  No,  kindly  listen  to  me.  Your  mother  tells 
me  that  your  engagement  exists  not;  she  called  it 
only  an  American  flirtation;  the  nature  of  such 
an  engagement  I  do  not  understand;  for  to  my 
mind  a  betrothal  is  a  sacred  troth;  but  I  want  you 
to  tell  me  whether  you  are  free  ?  " 

"  I  am  free,"  I  answered.     "  I  wish  to  be  so." 

"  I  shall  not  annoy  you  by  my  attentions,"  he  said 
very  gravely,  "  but  I  repeat  that  I  love  you,  that 
I  hope  some  day  you  will  be  my  wife.  I  shall 
wait:  Can  you  not  realize,  that  I  know  you  better 
than  any  one  else?  That  I  see  to-night  that  your 
apparent  gaiety  is  forced.  There  is  a  haunted  look 
in  your  sweet  eyes.  Will  you  not  at  least  treat 
me  as  a  friend  ?  Give  me  your  confidence ;  tell 
me  what  is  distressing  you;  let  me  be  of  service  to 
you." 

"  Oh,  Prince  Ulrich,"  I  said,  all  smiles  leaving  me 
and  my  anxiety  no  doubt  appearing,  "  you  have 
divined  rightly.  I  am  very  troubled,  very  unhappy 


258  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

this  evening,  but  I  can  tell  no  one  what  is  on  my 
mind." 

"If  your  parents  are  bringing  too  much  pressure 
to  bear  on  you,  if  they  are  distressing  you  by  urging 
my  suit,  I  shall  retire;  on  my  account  no  one  shall 
molest  you." 

"  Oh,"  I  cried,  "  that  matters  to  me  no  longer," 
then  seeing  'by  his  pained  surprise,  what  thoughtless 
words  I  had  spoken,  I  hastily  said,  "  Soon  you  will 
know  why  I  appear  like  this  to-night;  you  will 
hear  me  criticised.  I  care  not  what  others  say,  but 
of  you  I  beg  —  do  not  judge  me  harshly;  and  be- 
lieve me,  dear  Prince  Ulrich,  the  American  girl  must 
follow  her  own  way,  and  you  must  go  your  road  up 
to  the  high  place  to  which  you  belong." 

At  that  moment  through  the  halls  the  fanfare 
sounded  for  the  banquet. 

"  They  await  you,"  I  said  hastily,  "  at  the  Em- 
peror's table.  Our  paths  separate;  here;  now;  at 
once.  I  am  deeply  grateful  to  you.  Be  not  angry 
with  me.  Adieu." 

He  looked  at  me  with  searching  eyes,  trying  to 
discover  the  meaning  of  my  words ;  we  had  reached 
the  ball  room;  the  procession  was  forming  for  the 
banquet;  there  were  different  tables  prepared;  the 
high  dignitaries  were  following  the  Emperor;  no 
one  would  take  note  where  I  might  be ;  now  was 
the  moment  for  me  to  disappear.  I  slipped  off 
without  being  remarked,  and  made  my  way  to  my 


WILDESHEIM  SCHLOSS  259 

room  by  an  unused  staircase.     I  tore  off  my  ball 
dress  as  if  it  burned  me. 

I  am  all  ready  for  my  voyage,  and  to  subdue  my 
impatience  I  have  been  writing.  One  o'clock  will 
be  the  hour  for  me  to  leave.  I  am  dressed  in  a 
blue  serge  suit  and  a  dark  veil  over  a  simple  hat. 
I  shall  carry  only  a  rug  and  my  handbag  with  my 
necessary  things.  I  have  counted  my  money.  I 
possess  three  hundred  and  thirty  marks  and  twenty 
dollars.  Probably  Anna  Engel  had  less.  My  pearls 
are  around  my  neck,  concealed.  I  hope  to  be  quite 
unnoticed.  I  am  happy  to  feel  thus  valiant  and 
brave.  I  leave  this  place  I  detest  with  the  hope 
of  never  returning.  My  diary  accompanies  me, 
the  pansy  and  the  forget-me-not  pressed  within  its 
leaves.  I  shall  lock  my  door  so  as  to  delay  the 
search,  but  they  will  not  look  for  me  before  to-mor- 
row ;  and  now  I  must  go. 


HANOVER  STATION 


XXVI 

OCTOBER  2d.  I  am  writing  in  the  corner  of 
the  waiting  room.  To  distract  my  thoughts 
from  a  dread  of  the  future,  I  turn  them  to  the 
events  just  past  and  so  I  shall  take  up  the  thread 
of  my  narrative. 

Unobserved,  down  an  unused  stairway  I  slipped 
out  by  the  servants'  entrance,  and  from  an  inner 
courtyard  I  gained  the  way  to  the  forest,  which 
I  had  to  traverse  to  reach  the  little  station.  The 
night  was  dark;  there  was  no  moon,  and  a  damp 
mist  clung  to  the  trees.  I  knew  well  the  path, 
every  turn  and  every  root  was  familar  to  me  since 
my  childhood,  so  without  hesitation  I  advanced, 
throwing  only  one  look  backwards  on  the  illumined 
castle,  which  I  hoped  never  to  see  again. 

My  heart  was  beating  fast ;  not  from  fear  but 
from  a  sort  of  tremendous  excitement.  I  had  gone 
a  little  way,  not  hurrying  much,  as  I  had  given 
myself  an  amplitude  of  time,  when  I  heard  a  dry 
branch  crackle  behind  me.  Then  in  truth,  my  heart 
did  beat  with  terror.  I  stopped  and  listened.  Yes, 
surely  some  one  was  following  me.  Perhaps  a 
detective  who  might  arrest  me;  I  knew  there  were 

263 


264  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

several  about,  on  account  of  the  Emperor;  or  per- 
haps an  evildoer  who  had  been  prowling  about  the 
castle,  and  observing  me  thus  alone  wished  to  rob 
me  or  do  me  harm. 

Wild  thoughts  flew  through  my  brain;  should  I 
run,  or  confront  him,  or  hide?  I  could  not  see 
him,  as  the  path  wound  among  the  trees,  but  I 
heard  him  approaching.  A  great  oak  stood  to  my 
right;  I  felt  the  roots  rising  above  the  ground,  and 
noiselessly  I  hid  behind  it.  The  footsteps  were  not 
like  those  of  a  pursuer,  but  very  uncertain  and 
noisy;  then  I  heard  a  low  muttering,  and  soon 
the  words  came  to  me  distinctly:  " Du  herzaller- 
liebste  Yvonne."  It  was  Candidat  Hasemann. 
He  also  was  leaving  the  castle,  apparently  suffering 
from  the  torments  of  his  love  for  me;  oh,  how 
I  felt  at  once  reassured !  At  the  moment  he  passed 
me,  he  stumbled  over  the  protruding  roots  and 
fell  all  of  his  length;  his  valise  rolling  nearly  at 
my  feet.  I  waited.  He  soon  picked  himself  up, 
ejaculating:  " Ach  Gott!  mein  Zwicker!"  he  had 
lost  his  eyeglasses,  therefore  he  was  like  a  blindman. 

Should  I  make  myself  known,  and  help  him  find 
them?  No,  that  would  not  be  prudent;  nobody 
must  know  of  my  escape.  For  some  time  on 
four  paws,  he  searched  for  his  pinch-nose,  but  was 
unable  to  discover  it;  picking  up  his  valise,  he 
stumbled  along  the  path;  I  following  at  a  little 
distance,  and  feeling  protected  by  his  presence.  It 


HANOVER  STATION  265 

is  annoying  that  women  are  exposed  to  dangers  and 
fears  which  men  can  ignore,  and  thus  appear  so 
brave. 

Our  park  extends  to  the  station.  In  the  obscurity 
of  the  trees  I  waited  for  the  train.  I  could  hear 
Candidat  Hasemann  wake  up  the  station-master  and 
ask  for  a  ticket.  Then  our  farmer  drove  up  with 
the  milk-cart ;  the  whole  scene  illumined  only  by  two 
or  three  lanterns.  I  had  determined  not  to  buy  a 
ticket,  so  as  to  pass  unobserved,  and  at  that  hour 
when  every  one  is  sleepy,  there  would  be  fewer 
formalities.  It  was  unpleasant  to  be  forced  to  be 
thus  dishonest. 

At  last  the  train  came  puffing  in.  There  were 
only  fourth-class  carriages  to  accommodate  the 
peasants  going  to  market  to  Hanover.  While  the 
guard  was  talking  to  our  farmer,  I  slipped  in  to 
one  of  the  compartments.  The  wooden  benches 
were  all  filled  with  peasants ;  at  the  other  end  of  the 
carriage  I  saw  Candidat  Hasemann,  stumbling  over 
baskets  and  dropping  on  the  knees  of  a  big  fat 
man,  who  was  asleep  and  who  woke  up  with  a 
fearful  swear.  It  created  a  little  commotion,  and 
I  quietly  wedged  myself  between  a  peasant  woman 
with  a  basket  of  hens  on  her  lap  and  a  little  boy 
carrying  a  bundle  of  willows.  Nearly  everyone 
was  asleep  and  paid  no  attention  to  me.  The 
odor  from  fowls,  vegetables,  muddy  boots,  etc.,  was 
terrible.  I  buried  my  nose  in  my  scent  bottle,  which 


266  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  had  fortunately  brought.  It  took  over  an  hour 
to  reach  Hanover,  and  the  time  seemed  to  me  long. 

I  felt  very  much  abandoned  as  I  descended  into 
the  great  station.  It  was  the  middle  of  the  night. 
Never  had  I  found  myself  thus  alone,  and  it  gave 
me  a  sort  of  young,  childlike  feeling  of  dread; 
but  I  tried  to  overcome  it  and  remember  I  was 
going  to  my  dear  grandmother  who  was  ill.  I 
reflected  how  Anna  Engel,  younger  than  I,  poor 
and  without  friends,  had  ventured  into  a  foreign 
country,  whereas  I  was  returning  to  my  own  dear 
land. 

I  inquired  for  the  train  to  Hamburg;  it  was  due 
at  five  o'clock,  so  I  had  over  two  hours  to  wait. 
Two  hours  to  wait!  Two  hours  to  think!  To 
wonder  how  I  should  accomplish  my  resolve.  In 
all  this  long  evening,  with  so  many  varied  inci- 
dents, the  thought  of  my  grandmother  had  not  left 
me  for  a  second.  Before  taking  refuge  in  the  wait- 
ing-room I  walked  on  the  platform.  It  was  cold, 
ill-lighted  and  full  of  smoke.  I  nearly  ran  into 
Candidat  Hasemann,  who  was  also  pacing  up  and 
down  with  hasty  and  uncertain  steps,  but  he  recog- 
nized me  not.  Little  did  he  think  that  the  young 
girl  he  was  in  love  with  was  so  near  him.  I 
watched  his  ungainly  figure  and  it  reassured  me  a 
little  in  my  strange  loneliness. 

A  train  entered  the  station  just  now;  he  and  I 


HANOVER  STATION  267 

had  both  forgotten  to  buy  our  tickets,  so  we  rushed 
simultaneously  to  get  them.  I  arrived  before  him, 
and  asked  for  a  ticket  to  Hamburg. 

"  What  class?  "  demanded  the  agent. 

"  First,"  I  said. 

"  First?  "  he  repeated  with  surprise. 

"  No,  third,"  I  said,  reflecting  I  was  traveling  as 
it  were  in  disguise. 

Cornelius  Hasemann,  breathless,  having  fallen 
over  his  own  valise,  was  behind  me,  but  quite  un- 
observant of  his  surroundings  and  unconscious  of 
me.  Besides  my  veil  was  opaque.  I  heard  him 
ask  for  a  third-class  ticket  to  Hamburg.  As  we 
returned  to  the  platform  we  discovered  it  was  a 
wrong  train  going  to  Berlin. 

I  sat  down  again.  Through  the  window  of  the 
waiting-room  I  see  Herr  Hasemann;  he  looks  per- 
turbed; his  gestures  are  more  uncontrolled  than 
usual.  In  Hamburg  dwell  his  three  aunts;  there 
he  will  expect  my  answer.  I  have  none  to  give. 
Why  because  I  was  interested  in  his  thoughts,  did 
he  imagine  I  could  love  him?  I  must  in  future  not 
show  any  sympathy  to  young  men.  How  long  the 
journey  seems,  I  have  before  me!  The  ticket  agent 
has  looked  at  me  curiously  several  times.  He  knew 
Herr  Hasemann. 

It  is  fortunate  for  me  the  Candidat  lost  his 
glasses ;  no  one  shall  know  I  am  going  to  America. 


268  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

The  steamer  stops  in  England  and  France,  and  as 
I  am  a  minor,  I  might  be  forcibly  returned  to  my 
mother.  That  would  be  horrible!  I  must  not  be- 
tray myself. 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA 


XXVII 

OCTOBER  3d.  The  train  for  Hamburg  came 
roaring  into  the  station.  I  wished  to  avoid 
the  Candidat;  I  saw  him  go  forward,  and  so  I 
went  to  the  rear  end  of  the  train.  The  guard  helped 
me,  or  rather  shoved  me  into  a  compartment  full 
of  sleeping  people.  One  little  space  in  the  middle 
seemed  unoccupied,  and  in  that  I  sunk,  making  my- 
self as  small  as  possible.  Some  of  the  persons 
grunted  at  being  disturbed,  but  as  soon  as  the  train 
started  all  was  quiet. 

In  the  dim  light  I  perceived  nine  people  drawn 
up  in  grotesque  attitudes :  two  women  and  seven 
men.  Both  windows  were  entirely  closed.  I 
gasped  for  breath  in  the  thick  air,  and  my  zest  for 
adventure  was  diminished.  I  wished  I  was  not  so 
young,  and  had  a  little  more  experience  and  self  con- 
fidence; but  what  a  coward  I  was  not  to  be  willing 
to  endure  anything  for  my  grandmother's  sake. 
I  thought  of  Jeanne  D'Arc  and  other  heroines, 
younger  and  more  ignorant  than  I ;  but  their  forti- 
tude did  not  seem  to  fortify  me  very  much;  and  as 
the  train  rushed  through  the  night,  I  felt  as  if  I 
were  swept  away  in  a  strange  fantastic  whirlwind. 

271 


272  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  wondered  rather  helplessly  if  my  three  hundred 
marks  would  pay  for  a  cabin,  and  I  also  asked 
myself  if  I  had  better  take  an  assumed  name.  I 
wish  I  could  look  like  a  widow;  but  how  can  I  in 
a  blue  serge  dress?  No  real  disguise  seemed  prac- 
tical, in  fact,  I  have  no  dress  at  all  to  change,  only 
a  few  underclothes  and  my  tortoise-shell  brushes 
in  my  bag;  but  I  would  not  think  so  selfishly  of 
myself  any  longer,  and  my  thoughts  wandered  to 
my  dear  grandmother ;  how  ill  might  she  really  be  ? 
"  Serious,  not  dangerous,"  to  repeat  those  words 
for  ten  long  days  on  the  ocean,  away  from  all  news, 
oh !  what  a  torturing  doubt ! 

To  distract  myself  I  began  observing  my  traveling 
companions.  In  the  opposite  corner  was  a  big, 
fat  man.  I  could  not  see  his  face  as  it  was  sunk 
in  his  arm;  his  thick,  not  clean  hand,  covered  with 
cheap  rings,  lay  on  his  knee.  A  thin  little  man, 
with  a  funny  face,  and  his  mouth  wide  open  was 
squeezed  to  small  dimensions  between  the  fat  man 
and  a  very  fat  woman  on  whose  shoulder  his  head 
rested.  She  had  at  least  three  chins,  which  hung 
on  the  great  curve  of  her  breast,  as  her  head  dropped 
forward.  Her  forehead  was  covered  with  curl 
papers,  and  on  her  lap  she  held  an  enormous  green 
hat  with  yellow  feathers.  Next  to  her  was  a 
little  old  man  with  his  head  on  her  other  shoulder, 
his  feet  were  up  on  the  seat,  his  knees  nearly  under 
his  chin,  and  facing  him  in  the  same  position  was 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          273 

a  young  man,  with  a  straight  nose  and  very  black 
hair.  A  bandage  was  strapped  over  his  mouth. 
I  wondered  if  he  had  been  wounded,  and  then  I 
remembered  advertisements  I  had  seen  for  giving 
the  upward  imperial  curve  to  the  moustache. 

I  have  now  described  the  row  opposite  me ;  their 
lack  of  constraint  made  me  think  they  were  all  rela- 
tions, and  I  wondered  if  when  they  awoke  they 
would  be  embarrassed  to  find  a  stranger  among  them. 

On  my  left,  were  a  man  and  a  woman,  whom 
I  took  for  a  married  couple,  as  his  arm  was  around 
her,  and  she  leant  against  him.  She  also  wore 
curl  papers,  and  an  enormous  hat  was  suspended 
on  the  curtain  above  her.  Two  men,  on  my  other 
side,  slept  with  colored  handkerchiefs  over  their 
faces.  Every  smallest  space  was  crowded  with 
bags,  valises  and  packages  whose  extraordinary 
shapes  puzzled  me,  but  the  light  was  very  dim.  My 
own  bag  I  was  obliged  to  keep  on  my  knees,  and  my 
feet  rested  on  a  bandbox. 

I  could  hardly  breathe,  the  air  was  so  oppressive, 
and  for  the  first  time  since  my  escape  I  ventured 
to  remove  my  veil;  then,  so  as  to  lean  back  my 
head,  I  took  off  my  hat.  I  closed  my  eyes,  and  I 
was  beginning  to  doze  a  little,  when  suddenly  a 
voice  startled  me,  by  saying,  "  Erlanben  Fraiilein" 
and  my  bag  was  taken  from  my  knees.  I  looked 
up  and  saw  it  was  the  man  on  my  right.  He 
placed  the  bag  between  his  feet.  I  observed  he  had 
18 


274  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

deep  sunken  eyes,  and  very  thin  cheeks,  and  a  pleas- 
ant, clever  face,  smooth  shaven. 

He  whispered  again,  "  Go  to  sleep,  Fraiilein,  you 
can  rest  your  head  on  my  shoulder."  I  saw  he  did 
not  mean  to  be  impertinent,  but  simply  was  kind 
and  friendly.  I  shook  my  head,  and  then  hoping 
he  might  procure  me  a  little  fresh  air,  I  asked  if 
he  would  open  the  window. 

"  Gewiss,"  he  said  and  opened  it  a  crack,  and  then 
whispered  again  with  a  smile,  pointing  to  the  fat 
man,  "  Herr  Meyerbaum  will  not  support  it  long ; 
he  thinks  night  air  injurious." 

And  in  truth  after  a  moment,  the  fat  man's  snore 
suddenly  became  a  tremendous  sneeze,  which  dis- 
turbed all  the  slumbers;  with  many  ejaculations  of 
disgust  he  rose  and  closed  the  window.  My  com- 
panion pretended  to  be  asleep,  and  I  did  not  move.  - 

After  a  while  I  think  I  must  also  have  slept,  for 
I  was  surprised  on  opening  my  eyes  to  see  it  was 
daylight,  and  the  people  around  me  were  all  awake. 

We  had  entered  a  station.  My  right  hand  neigh- 
bor was  at  the  open  door  of  the  carriage,  accom- 
panied by  a  waiter  carrying  a  tray  with  coffee  and 
rolls.  Every  one  eagerly  took  a  cup,  and  one  was 
offered  to  me.  I  suddenly  became  very  hungry 
and  was  glad  to  accept  it,  and  I  felt  thus  much  bet- 
ter. All  my  companions  seemed  of  good  humor 
although  most  of  them  had  pale,  tired  faces,  and 
they  talked  a  great  deal  and  very  loudly.  I  thought 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          275 

it  strange  that  members  of  the  same  family  should 
resemble  each  other  so  little. 

After  the  train  started  again,  I  heard  one  of 
them  say,  "  In  an  hour  we  shall  be  at  Hamburg." 
So  I  asked  a  little  shyly,  "  Do  we  have  to  change 
trains  to  get  to  the  steamer  landing?  " 

The  fat  man  answered,  "  Yes,  mein  Fraiilcin, 
are  you  also  going  to  America?  " 

I  told  him  I  was;  and  then  they  all  said  in  a 
chorus,  "  So  are  we,"  and  the  fat  man  clearing 
his  throat  said,  in  rather  a  pompous  manner : 

"  As  we  are  going  to  take  this  long  journey  to- 
gether over  land  and  sea,  allow  me,  Fraiilein,  to 
make  presentations.  I  am  Herr  Meyerbaum,  Man- 
ager of  the  Frankfurt  Musikal  und  Lustspiel 
Gesellschaft,  visiting  New  York,  Chicago  and  other 
cities.  This  lady  (indicating  the  fat  woman)  is 
Frau  Theodora  Matrosi,  who  takes  the  noble 
mothers'  parts;  our  other  leading  lady  is  Fraiilein 
Malvina  Edelweiss." 

Bows  were  exchanged  between  the  ladies  and 
myself.  My  polite  right  hand  neighbor  was  intro- 
duce! as  Herr  Schimmel,  a  distinguished  flute 
player;  the  comic  man  as  Herr  Knackfuss;  the  old 
one  as  Herr  Schnirbelmaul,  famous  violoncellist; 
the  young  man,  who  had  removed  his  moustache 
trainer,  was  Herr  Alfons  von  Ritterstuhl,  who  took 
the  lover's  role  —  a  world  famed  tenor  and  a 
mandolin  player.  The  one  whom  I  had  thought 


276  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

was  the-  husband  of  Fraulein  Edelweiss,  was  pre- 
sented as  Herr  Ludwig,  without  further  qualifi- 
cations. The  men  all  stood  up  as  their  names  were 
mentioned  and  made  marvelous  bows.  Then 
they  all  looked  as  if  they  expected  me  to  introduce 
myself.  I  felt  terribly  embarrassed.  After  a  pause 
Herr  Meyerbaum  said,  "  And  how  shall  we  have 
the  honor  of  addressing  you,  mein  Fraulein?  " 

I  said  the  first  name  that  occurred  to  me,  "  Frau- 
lein Schmidt." 

"And  what  Christian  name?"  persisted  Herr 
Meyerbaum. 

"  Rosa,"  I  said  feebly, 

"  And  with  what  object  are  you  visiting  Amer- 
ica?" 

"  Just  for  pleasure,"  I  answered  —  not  knowing 
what  to  say, 

"  Ach,"  said  Herr  Alfons,  "  tvic  interressant,  wie 
kostlich." 

The  man  at  the  further  corner  who  had  not  been 
thus  far  introduced,  jumped  up  and  exclaimed,  "  My 
name  is  also  Schmidt,  Andreas  Schmidt,  without 
doubt  we  are  cousins !  " 

I  bowed  and  looked  at  him  aghast.  He  had  vivid 
red  hair,  brushed  up  straight,  a  red  bristling  mous- 
tache, green  eyes,  and  the  most  turned  up  nose  I 
have  ever  seen. 

"  I  play  the  trombone,"  he  announced ;  and  so  the 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA         277 

queer  shaped  packages  I  had  vaguely  descried,  were 
different  musical  instruments. 

We  were  nearing  Hamburg  and  everybody's  toilet 
was  actively  begun.  The  ladies  removed  their  curl 
papers;  the  same  comb  was  passed  around  which 
served  also  for  the  men's  moustaches;  the  powder 
puff  was  freely  applied ;  the  red  lip  salve  after  the 
ladies  used  it  was  passed  to  Herr  Alfons,  who 
colored  his  rather  protruding  mouth.  He  also 
adorned  himself  with  a  cherry  tie  in  which  he 
planted  an  enormous  scarfpin.  He  produced  a  mir- 
ror from  his  bag,  which  Herr  Ludwig  held  for  each 
one  of  the  Troupe  in  turn.  I  soon  discovered  the 
latter  was  called  upon  to  render  every  kind  of 
service. 

I  was  at  first  bewildered  by  the  manners  of  the 
strange  company  I  was  in,  but  then  I  noticed  how 
amiable  and  good-natured  they  all  were  together, 
and  unrestrained,  like  children  in  the  same  nursery. 

When  the  mirror  was  also  presented  to  me,  I 
looked,  and  saw  a  pale  face  and  untidy  hair.  I  ad- 
justed myself  as  well  as  I  could.  I  failed  several 
times  to  respond  when  addressed  as  —  Fraiilein 
Schmidt  —  and  then  I  remembered  how  in  truth  I 
was  acting  a  serious  role,  so  I  must  not  forget  to 
do  it  well.  I  took  courage  to  ask  Herr  Meyerbaum 
if  I  should  have  difficulty  in  getting  a  cabin  on  the 
steamer. 


278  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  Ach,  mein  Fraulein,"  he  said,  "  you  have  no 
ticket?  then  you  have  started  in  a  great  hurry?  " 
'  Yes,"  I  confessed,  reddening  furiously. 

"You  are  going  to  America  so  suddenly?"  in- 
quired Frau  Matrosi,  "  and  without  preparations ; 
but  at  least,  my  dear  Fraulein,  let  me  hope  you 
have  friends  awaiting  you  in  that  far  off  land." 

"  I  am  going  to  my  grandmother,"  I  answered. 

"Ach!"  they  all  exclaimed,  "you  have  a  grand- 
mother in  America,  has  she  been  there  long?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  said. 

"  She  is  probably  well  established  then." 

"  Yes,"  I  answered. 

'  Then  you  are  not  seeking  a  situation." 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  Because,"  said  Herr  Meyerbaum,  "  I  need  an 
ingenue  for  my  Troupe,  and  your  appearance  would 
correspond.  You  may  also  have  some  talent.  Do 
you  sing?  " 

"  A  little." 

"  Do  you  dance  ?  " 

"  I  have  been  taught." 

"  Do  you  play  on  any  instrument  ?  " 

"  The  piano,  the  harp  and  the  guitar,"  I  answered, 
amused  at  his  questions. 

" Famosl"  he  exclaimed,  "you  will  make  a 
career  for  yourself  under  my  protection  and  I  will 
arrange  about  your  berth  at  Kuxhafen." 

"  I  think,"  said  Herr  Schimmel,  "  it  would  be  well 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          279 

for  the  little  Fraiilein  to  have  us  look  after  her  and 
protect  her ;  she  is  too  young  to  travel  alone." 

The  phrase  was  familiar  to  my  ear. 

"  She  will  be  under  my  care,"  said  Frau  Matrosi, 
laying  her  arm  around  my  shoulder,  and  giving  me 
a  hearty  kiss. 

I  was  inclined  to  resent  such  a  familiarity ;  but  no, 
what  is  kindly  offered  must  be  graciously  accepted; 
and  I  hoped  that  on  the  steamer  we  should  remain 
apart. 

"  Well  then,"  I  said,  "  Herr  Meyerbaum,  if  you 
will  get  a  stateroom  I  should  like  one  to  myself; 
first-class  if  you  please;  and  here  are  three  hundred 
marks." 

"  Ach,  first-class !  "  several  exclaimed. 

"  Kolossal!  "  ejaculated  Herr  Alfons. 

"  But,  dear  Fraiilein,"  said  Herr  Meyerbaum, 
"  you  know  the  saying :  Only  princes,  fools  and 
Americans  travel  first-class,  and  three  hundred 
marks  would  not  reach ;  leave  it  to  me,  I  see  you 
have  no  experience." 

I  tried  to  protest  and  explain,  but  we  were  en- 
tering the  Hamburg  station  where  we  had  half  an 
hour  to  wait  for  the  train  to  Kuxhafen.  There  was 
a  tremendous  excitement  to  disembark  the  Troupe 
with  their  thousand  parcels  and  musical  instruments. 
As  we  were  crossing  the  platform,  Herr  Cornelius 
Hasemann  was  hurrying  past  us  and  collided  with 
Herr  Schnirbelmaul's  violoncello.  There  were 


280  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

loud  expostulations,  and  everybody  stopped  and 
stared.  I  tried  to  conceal  myself  behind  Frau 
Matrosi,  and  my  thick  blue  veil  was  also  a  pro- 
tection; at  last  I  saw  the  Candidat  vanish  through 
the  outer  gate.  With  the  usual,  never-appeased 
hunger  of  traveling  Germans,  the  Troupe  entered 
the  Buffet  for  a  second  breakfast,  and  with  much 
noise  seated  themselves  and  ordered  a  copious  meal. 
They  grew  quite  sentimental  over  their  last  German 
repast,  their  last  sausages  and  beer ;  and  their  stand- 
ing toast  to  the  Vaterland  attracted  much  attention. 

It  was  ten  o'clock  when  we  arrived  on  the  dock. 
All  the  travelers  were  agitated  identifying  their  own 
luggage.  I  sat  a  little  apart  on  a  box,  feeling 
dazed  and  bewildered  by  all  that  had  occurred  in 
the  last  few  hours.  So  here  I  was,  having  fled 
from  my  family  in  the  castle  and  from  the  Em- 
peror's presence,  to  become  a  member  of  a  musical 
theatrical  troupe;  laughter  and  tears  were  striving 
with  each  other ;  I  felt  much  like  a  wind  tossed  leaf, 
which  one  moment  gaily  dances  in  the  air  and  then  is 
swept  low  to  the  ground. 

But  not  for  long  did  I  remain  plunged  in  thought ; 
soon  Herr  Meyerbaum  appeared  and  called  loudly 
the  Troupe  by  name.  They  gathered  around  him 
like  chickens  chirping  beneath  the  hen's  wing. 
Seizing  my  arm,  he  said,  "  Come,  little  Fraiilein, 
everything  is  arranged  for  you,"  and  he  marched  me 
up  the  gang  plank.  After  many  inquiries  the  cabins 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          281 

were  found.  To  my  dismay,  I  was  told  Herr 
Meyerbaum  had  been  fortunate  enough  to  exchange 
with  a  lady,  who  had  given  up  her  berth  in  Frau 
Matrosi  and  Fraulein  Edelweiss's  cabin,  which  I 
instead  had  the  privilege  to  share  with  them.  "  The 
steamer  is  full,"  he  added,  "quite  over  full,  and  if 
it  had  not  been  for  me,  little  Fraulein,  you  would 
have  remained  on  the  dock." 

"But,"  I  protested,  "is  the  first-class  so  full?" 

"  First-class,  little  Fraulein,  costs  six,  seven, 
eight  hundred  marks.  Ach!  you  know  nothing  of 
the  value  of  money !  " 

That  was  true  indeed,  so  as  cheerfully  as  possible 
I  thanked  him,  and  disposed  my  few  things  in  the 
cabin;  with  the  consent  of  the  ladies  I  chose  the 
upper  berth.  Then  we  all  went  up  on  deck,  the 
ladies  and  men  of  our  party  wearing  white  cluck 
yachting  caps,  thus  endeavoring  to  assume  a  nauti- 
cal appearance,  and  being  certainly  very  noticeable. 

As  we  were  standing  near  the  rail,  suddenly 
Herr  Knackfuss,  the  comic  man,  gave  a  piercing 
hoot,  and  wildly  gesticulating,  screamed,  "  Mein 
Gott!  there  is  Herr  Matrosi  with  his  little  sons  and 
Frau  Meyerbaum  with  her  young  ladies,"  and  calls 
of  Theodora,  Rachel  and  Judith  responded.  Inde- 
scribable excitement  followed,  and  shoving  their 
way  up  the  gang  plank,  several  persons  flew  into 
the  arms  of  the  Troupe.  After  watching  a  pas- 
sionate exchange  of  embraces,  I  was  introduced  to 


282  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Herr  Matrosi;  a  tiny  little  man,  with  two  fat 
little  boys  clinging  to  his  hand,  and  to  Frau  Meyer- 
baum  and  her  two  Jewish  looking  daughters. 
They  had  come  to  surprise  their  relatives  and  bid 
them  good-bye.  Everybody  talked  at  once  with  a 
hurried  exchange  of  recommendations.  Herr 
Alfons  von  Ritterstuhl  was  evidently  a  favorite 
with  the  two  Fraiilein  Meyerbaum,  and  I  never  saw 
such  coquetting  in  my  life. 

Herr  Schimmel,  who  is  evidently  very  kind 
hearted,  thinking  I  felt  lonely  said,  "  It  is  very  sad 
to  take  farewell  of  one's  dear  ones,  but  it  is  perhaps 
sadder  to  have  nobody  to  say  good-bye  to ;  and  then 
I  love  my  beautiful  fatherland  and  it  pains  me  much 
to  leave  it.  Perhaps,  you  too,  mein  Fraiilein,  feel 
as  I  do." 

"  We  all  love  our  own  country  most,"  I  said, 
"  and  I  suppose  we  thus  think  it  the  most  perfect." 

At  that  moment  the  bell  of  departure  rang.  With 
jokes  and  laughter  exchanged  between  the  Meyer- 
baums,  and  with  loud  sobs  from  the  Matrosi 
family,  they  all  had  to  separate.  It  was  touching 
to  see  Frau  Theodora  arrange  with  lingering  ten- 
derness her  little  boys'  curls,  and  then  kiss  them 
over  and  over  again,  with  a  thousand  words  of  ad- 
vice to  her  poor  little  husband,  who  was  weeping 
copiously.  Even  when  we  were  moving  out  of 
dock  —  in  unchecked  grief,  with  streaming  eyes  and 
reddening  nose,  unmindful  of  appearance,  they 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          283 

waved  each  other  repeated  farewell.  Sorrow  is  con- 
tagious among  warm  hearted  people,  and  soon  the 
whole  Troupe  were  in  tears,  and  I  found  myself 
patting  Frau  Matrosi's  shoulder  like  an  old  friend. 
"  Ach,  Gott,"  she  moaned,  "  if  instead  of  being  an 
actress  I  could  only  stay  at  home,  and  be  the  mother 
of  my  family." 

It  is  now  the  middle  of  the  day;  we  are  well  out 
at  sea ;  I  have  found  a  still  corner  on  deck  where  I 
am  writing.  At  this  moment  perhaps,  at  Castle 
Wildesheim  they  are  forcing  open  my  door,  to  find 
the  caged  bird  flown.  They  will  not  know  where 
to  look,  but  I  shall  not  feel  quite  safe  until  South- 
hampton  and  Cherbourg  have  been  left  behind,  so 
it  is  well  I  am  traveling  under  an  assumed  name. 

My  thoughts  try  to  pierce  the  future;  anxiety 
weighs  heavily  on  my  heart.  The  throbbing  of  the 
screw  seems  to  chant  the  refrain  — "  Serious,  not 
dangerous."  Oh,  if  I  were  not  to  find  my  dear 
grandmother  at  the  end  of  my  voyage!  I  long  to 
throw  myself  at  her  knees,  and  have  her  dear  hands 
laid  upon  my  head  as  if  in  blessing,  for  she 
alone  in  this  world  loves  me.  But  I  must  be  strong 
and  brave,  and  if  when  I  reach  America  I  find  in 
truth  I  am  alone,  then  I  shall  work  for  my  living, 
for  never  will  I  return  to  Europe.  With  a  feeling 
of  hate,  I  look  back  upon  the  fading  shores  of  the 
land  Herr  Schimmel  is  staring  at  with  love  and 
regret. 


XXVIII 

OCTOBER  5th.  I  seem  to  have  lost  in  the 
last  two  days  my  own  personality.  I  am 
no  longer  the  spoiled  and  petted  Miss  Carrington 
of  America  nor  the  respectable  Comtesse  Yvonne 
of  Germany,  bowing  to  Emperors  and  dancing 
with  princes,  but  just  plain  little  Rosa  Schmidt;  a 
member  of  Herr  Meyerbaum's  Troupe ;  called  Du  by 
the  women,  and  surnamed  by  the  men  — Dornr'6- 
schen.  This  arrived,  because  that  odious  Herr 
Alfons  von  Ritterstuhl  seemed  to  me  familiar  and 
I  treated  him  with  a  certain  highness.  Herr  Knack- 
fuss,  the  comic  man  was  present  and  called  out  — 
"  Ach  so!  the  rose  has  thorns,"  and  thereafter  they 
have  called  me  Dornroschen. 

Vulgar  familiarity  I  will  not  permit,  but  other- 
wise I  have  certainly  no  superiority  of  position 
to  exalt  myself  with.  They  have  showed  their  real 
excellence  by  their  kindness  to  me.  Yet  foolishly 
enough  my  nerves  rebel  when  the  women  kiss  me, 
and  employ  everything  of  mine  they  find  useful. 
I  am  afraid  I  am  still  ruled  by  unworthy  aristo- 
cratic prejudices  and  that  I  am  not  the  true  Repub- 
lican I  wish  to  be. 

284 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          285 

It  is  very  unworthy  of  me  to  object  to  their 
manners  and  not  to  think  only  of  their  good  hearts. 
I  suppose  that  in  Heaven  we  shall  only  be  recog- 
nized by  our  hearts  and  souls,  and  that  the  surface 
of  people  which  now  attracts  or  repels  will  vanish ; 
table  manners  and  a  refined  tone  of  voice  will  not 
be  considered ;  in  fact,  all  the  things  will  count 
for  nothing  which  alone  have  been  developed  in  my 
education.  I  must  also  in  truth  think  more  of  what 
Candidat  Hasemann  calls  —  the  inward  growth  of 
the  Superman,  and  therefore  it  makes  me  ashamed 
when  I  review  my  memoirs  to  find  therein  only  the 
account  of  little  trivial  things.  I  shall  look  for 
books  of  philosophy  in  the  ship's  library,  and  study 
them  deeply. 

As  soon  as  the  steamer  rolled  a  little,  most  of 
the  men  and  both  the  women  were  sick.  Frau 
Matrosi  makes  a  very  astonishing  appearance  in 
bed.  She  wears  a  purple  satin  jacket,  strewn  with 
little  blue  flowers,  and  trimmed  with  tarnished  gold 
lace,  I  suppose  part  of  a  discarded  theatrical  cos- 
tume. She  and  Fraiilein  Edelweiss  have  not  un- 
rolled their  hair  from  curl  papers,  which  protrude 
beneath  green  and  yellow  checked  cotton  handker- 
chiefs tied  round  their  heads.  Herr  Ludwig  spends 
all  day  in  the  stateroom  and  renders  them  every 
sort  of  service.  He  appears  to  belong  especially 
to  Fraiilein  Edelweiss.  I  always  supposed  ac- 


286  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

tresses  were  vain;  but  oh,  no,  in  private  life  it  is 
quite  the  contrary,  and  they  display  a  superb  indif- 
ference to  the  effect  they  produce. 

I  am  now  to  call  Malvina  by  her  first  name  and 
Du.  Her  age  seems  to  be  a  matter  of  uncertainty. 
I  never  go  to  my  cabin  except  to  smooth  my  hair 
and  to  sleep  late  at  night.  I  am  always  on  deck ;  I 
love  the  salt  sea  air. 

Herr  Schimmel  —  who  must  be  quite  an  old  man 
—  often  sits  near  me  silently,  like  a  good  watch 
dog;  he  is  most  kind  and  attentive.  He  secured 
me  a  steamer  chair  which  I  paid  for  with  my  last 
money,  for  this  morning  an  accident  arrived  to  me. 
I  always  carried  my  purse  in  a  little  gold  filagree 
bag,  hung  on  my  wrist.  (The  ladies  thought  it 
a  gilt  imitation  like  my  brushes  and  other  things. 
Malvina  perceived  my  pearls  and  asked  why  I  had 
not  bought  a  bigger  size,  they  did  not  cost  any 
more.)  I  was  stooping  over  the  rail  watching  a 
school  of  fish  when  the  chain  caught  in  a  hook, 
snapped,  and  the  bag  fell  in  the  ocean.  I  was  con- 
sternated for  I  was  penniless.  Herr  Meyerbaum 
and  Herr  Schimmel  were  very  sympathetic  and  when 
the  others  were  told,  they  all  offered  to  help  me. 
As  is  always  the  rule  when  charity  is  proffered,  they 
felt  justified  is  asking  me  questions. 

"  Had  my  grandmother  any  fortune  ?  Was  I 
going  to  work  for  her  or  could  she  support  me? 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          287 

Where  did  she  live  ?  What  was  her  name  ?  "  I 
answered  as  well  as  I  could,  but  I  find  that  one  lie 
engenders  rapidly  others.  I  said  her  name  was  the 
same  as  mine  as  she  was  my  father's  mother. 

" Ach  so!"  said  Herr  Andreas  Schmidt,  "I  had 
an  aunt  —  Anastasia  Schmidt  —  who  possessed  a 
sausage  factory  in  Milwaukee ;  is  she  not  your  grand- 
mother ?  for  then  surely  we  are  cousins  ?  " 

I  looked  at  him  a  moment  aghast;  with  his  red 
hair  and  trumpet  nose,  the  possible  nephew  of  my 
beautiful  grandmother  making  sausages  in  Mil- 
waukee, and  then  I  laughed,  without  answering, 
and  I  thought  of  Cousin  Henry;  how  horrified  he 
would  be  with  my  present  companions,  for  he  pos- 
sesses not  the  magic  wand  that  recognizes  people's 
hearts  below  the  rough  surface. 

Herr  Meyerbaum  announced  afterwards  that  he 
would  make  good  my  loss,  that  he  had  a  little 
scheme;  he  brought  me  a  pamphlet  and  begged  me 
to  learn  the  part  of  Pierrette  in  a  one  act  musical 
comedy.  It  will  divert  me  from  my  sad  thoughts. 
I  have  nothing  to  do  and  I  can  learn  easily ;  I  have 
acted  before  quite  large  audiences  for  charity;  this 
will  be  in  my  own  aid ;  it  will  only  delay  a  little  my 
research  of  the  books  of  philosophy. 

We  have  accosted  Southampton!  and  safely  left 
without  enquiry  for  me.  Here  is  the  rough  copy 
of  my  letter  to  my  mother  mailed  at  Cherbourg: 


288  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  Dear  Mamma, — 

"  I  think  it  is  my  duty  to  let  you  know  I  have  gone 
to  America  to  visit  my  grandmother,  and  that  I  shall 
never  return  to  Europe.  I  have  been  very  unhappy 
with  you,  and  I  have  displeased  you  much,  by  not 
marrying  those  you  have  chosen  for  me.  You  have 
also  told  me  I  was  a  bad  example  for  Wilhelmine, 
so  I  have  no  doubt  you  are  glad  I  have  gone.  If 
necessary,  I  shall  earn  my  own  living  —  a  career  has 
been  opened  to  me.  I  shall  take  care  of  myself  as 
an  American  young  girl  always  can.  It  would  not 
be  truthful  if  I  declared  I  was  repentant  for  running 
away,  and  like  Luther  at  the  Council  of  Worms,  I 
shall  say,  '  Were  all  the  slates  on  the  roof,  devils, 
I  could  not  do  otherwise,  so  God  help  me  ' ;  there- 
fore, dear  Mamma,  permit  me  to  only  sign  myself, 
"  Yours  very  truthfully, 

"  YVONNE  CARRINGTON." 

I  think  my  letter  is  very  dignified,  and  my  only 
pride  is  to  be  able  to  assert  I  am  a  free  American. 
My  mother  loves  me  not,  I  know  well;  this  is 
very  sad  I  think  for  a  child  to  feel,  but  what  is  the 
use  for  me  to  pretend  an  affection  we  neither  of  us 
have;  my  love  for  my  grandmother  alone  fills  my 
heart,  since  I  know  she  is  so  ill. 

I  had  just  finished  and  addressed  my  letter  when 
Herr  Alfons  passing  through  the  saloon  saw  me;  he 
had  other  letters  in  his  hand,  and  offered  to  take 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          289 

mine  as  the  mail  bag  was  being  closed.  I  did  not 
wish  to  offend  him  so  I  gave  him  the  letter ;  he 
calmly  read  the  address. 

"  Hire  Excellenz  Grafin  Wildesheim, 

"  Schloss  Wildesheim, 
"  Provinz  Hanover." 

"  Ei,  cl,  so  so,  in  correspondence  with  a  Countess." 

"Give  me  back  my  letter,"  I  said  angrily;  "you 
have  no  right  to  read  the  address." 

"  Softly,  Dornroschen,  I  can  read  what  is  open  to 
the  postman,  ha  ha!  ei  ei!  so  so! "  he  went  off  mur- 
muring. 

I  was  in  a  rage,  but  what  could  I  do !  He  would 
tell  the  others,  and  they  would  ask  me  more  ques- 
tions, and  I  would  have  to  invent  more  answers.  I 
went  on  deck  to  see  the  new  passengers  arrive  on 
the  tug  at  Cherbourg.  I  was  idly  watching  them, 
when  I  suddenly  recognized  Graf  Adel,  one  of  the 
young  secretaries  at  the  Embassy  in  Paris,  whom  I 
remembered  had  just  been  transferred  to  Washing- 
ton. 

I  hastily  pulled  down  my  veil,  and  he  did  not 
recognize  me;  but  Herr  Alfons  had  apparently  been 
observing  me,  for  I  heard  him  close  at  my  side 
murmur  "  Ha  ha!  ei  oil  so  so! " 

I  walked  away  with  my  head  in  the  air,  and  very 
much  annoyed.  It  is  fortunate  that  I  am  traveling 
19 


290  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

second  class,  for  had  I  met  Graf  Adel  in  the  Saloon, 
without  a  chaperon,  everyone  would  think  it  im- 
proper; those  absurd  conventions  are  not  observed 
among  my  present  companions;  there  are  several 
young  girls,  school  teachers  and  governesses,  who 
are  by  themselves,  and  whose  dignity  insures  them 
respect.  It  is  curious  that  with  women 'who  work, 
everyone  is  not  ready  to  think  they  will  misbehave 
—  like  ladies  in  society,  who  can  never  be  independ- 
ent without  criticism,  so  I  conclude  that  the  usual 
careful  bringing  up  by  governesses,  etc.,  does  not  ed- 
ucate women  to  take  care  of  themselves,  but  very 
much  the  contrary.  They  are  taught  that  they  must 
depend  on  safeguards.  It  is  the  same  with  every 
one  in  high  places,  a  parapet  must  surround  them  for 
fear  of  a  disastrous  fall.  I  think  it  is  quite  won- 
derful that  I  should  have  discovered  this  all  by  my- 
self, but  solitude  develops  reflection. 

I  went  to  my  cabin  before  dinner;  the  whole 
Troupe  was  there  assembled,  but  they  did  not  per- 
ceive me  at  first  in  the  door.  Herr  Alf  ons  and  Herr 
Knack  fuss  were  perched  on  the  bunk.  Herr  Meyer- 
baum  occupied  the  only  camp  stool,  and  the  other 
four  men  sat  at  the  feet  of  the  women's  beds.  Sev- 
eral of  them  were  smoking  and  they  were  talking 
with  great  animation.  Herr  Alfons  was  saying: 
"  Her  letter  was  addressed  to  a  Countess.  I  know 
the  name;  the  Count  is  German  Ambassador  to 


ON  BOARD  THE  AM  ERIK  A          291 

Paris,  and  she  gave  a  start  of  recognition  and  pulled 
down  her  veil  as  a  young  man  embarked  at  Cher- 
bourg, and  I  have  ascertained  that  — " 

"  What  have  you  ascertained,  Herr  Alfons  von 
Ritterstuhl  ?  "  I  asked  with  a  serene  expression,  but 
with  anger  boiling  beneath.  A  bomb  thrown  among 
them  could  not  have  disturbed  them  more.  Herr 
Knackfuss  leapt  to  the  floor  and  landed  on  Herr 
Ludwig's  toes;  I  then  saw  he  was  holding  one  of 
my  brushes;  Herr  Meyerbaum  held  the  other,  and 
Malvina  tried  to  conceal  beneath  her  pillow  my  gold 
scent  bottle. 

"  Dornroschen !  Dornroschen !  be  calm,"  said  Herr 
Meyerbaum. 

"  I  am  perfectly  calm,"  I  said,  "  but  I  should  like 
to  benefit  by  Herr  Alfons'  information."  I  dis- 
dained to  inquire  why  they  were  examining  my 
things. 

Herr  Alfons  remained  perched  and  with  a  silly 
snigger,  he  said :  "  Well,  mein  Fraillein,  perhaps  I 
ought  to  say  Countess  or  Princess,  as  you  came 
among  us  without  a  letter  of  introduction  and  your 
grand  airs  may  betoken  noble  birth  ;  I  was  telling  our 
friends  that  a  young  man,  a  Count  I  find  he  is,  is 
not  unknown  to  you." 

"  Yes,  and  what  else?  "  I  asked. 

"  And  that  in  fact  the  German  Ambassador  and 
his  lady,  and  his  staff  may  be  former  friends  or 


292  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

patrons  of  yours,  and,"  he  added  maliciously,  "  that 
your  hurried  departure  may  not  have  pleased  them ; 
I  noticed  you  took  pains  to  avoid  recognition." 

"  Is  this  piece  of  news  of  Herr  Alfons'  very  in- 
teresting to  you  all?"  I  asked.  They  looked  em- 
barrassed and  did  not  answer.  "  And  may  I  beg 
you  to  give  me  my  brushes  as  I  came  here  to  prepare 
for  dinner." 

I  washed  my  hands  with  as  much  unconcern  as 
if  I  were  alone.  Herr  Alfons  descended  from  my 
berth  and  handing  me  my  brushes,  remarked  — "  It 
is  curious  that  the  initials  on  these  brushes  do  not 
correspond  with  your  name;  I  see  Y.  C.  instead  of 
R.  S.,  and  they  are  very  beautiful." 

"  I 'thought  they  were  imitation,"  said  Malvina. 

"  Oh,  no,"  replied  Herr  Alfons,  "  they  are  the 
genuine  article  —  the  finest  I  have  ever  seen." 

I  took  them  from  him  and  smoothed  my  hair, 
then  I  replaced  them  in  my  traveling  bag,  leaving 
it  open.  All  this  was  done  with  great  composure  — 
with  what  Hugo  calls  my  air  noble.  They  watched 
me  in  silence;  having  finished,  I  went  to  the  door 
and  turning  round  faced  them  all.  I  suddenly  felt 
as  if  I  had  grown  very  tall,  taller  than  any  of  them. 
I  spoke  thus: 

"  My  good  people,  I  came  among  you  as  Herr 
Alfons  von  Ritterstuhl  says,  without  introduction; 
nor  did  I  ask  for  any  in  return.  You  gave  me  the 


ON  BOARD  THE  AM  ERIK  A          293 

names  with  which  your  audiences  greet  you ;  I  have 
not  asked  what  quarterings  of  nobility  Herr  Alfons 
von  Ritterstuhl  can  boast  of,  nor  any  other  ques- 
tions. You  asked  me  by  what  name  to  call  me.  I 
told  you.  Why  the  initials  on  my  brushes  do  not 
correspond,  I  shall  not  tell  you.  You  have  been 
very  kind  to  me.  I  thank  you.  That  I  know  the 
Ambassador's  wife  is  an  accident  for  which  I  am 
not  responsible,  and  my  other  acquaintances  do  not 
concern  you.  Freely  you  accepted  me  and  you 
are  free  to  dismiss  me.  Herr  Meyerbaum,  shall 
we  part  company  ?  " 

"  Ach!  me  in  Gott!  mein  liebes  Fraillein!"  he  ex- 
claimed, "  by  no  means ;  it  can  be  no  fault  of  yours 
if  you  are  an  aristocrat;  Alfons  has  a  long  tongue 
and  a  short  brain;  we  care  not  what  he  says." 

"  Very  well,  my  friends,"  I  said  smiling,  "  I 
shall  gratefully  remain  among  you.  Gentlemen, 
dinner  is  ready.  Frau  Matrosi,  if  there  is  any  nice 
little  dainty  —  I  will  bring  it  to  you  and  tempt 
your  appetite.  Malvina,  you  may  keep  my  scent 
bottle,  I  give  it  to  you  —  it  is  real  gold."  With 
that  I  left  the  cabin;  I  heard  a  few  excited  whispers 
and  Herr  Alfons  exclaim,  "  Kolossal!  " 

From  henceforth  they  have  treated  me  with  more 
reserve.  Herr  Schimmel  alone  changing  nothing  of 
his  attitude  of  politeness  and  kindness.  Thus  my 
air  noble  imposed  on  them  and  I  feel  I  have  won 


294  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

a  little  victory,  and  at  the  same  time  lost  a  little  of 
their  unquestioning  confidence.  I  think  they  won- 
der if  I  am  a  runaway  governess  having  stolen  her 
ladies'  brushes,  or  an  eloping  princess;  but  then 
princesses  never  elope  alone. 


XXIX 

OCTOBER  8th.  Three  days  have  passed. 
Days  at  sea  are  monotonous.  The  weather 
has  been  rough.  All  the  Troupe  except  Herr 
Schimmel  are  sick,  and  he  is  a  quiet  and  silent 
companion.  I  feel  he  is  good  and  kind;  we  sit 
on  deck  for  hours  without  talking,  watching  the 
enormous  waves  rolling  in  their  gigantic  undula- 
tions, and  his  presence  comforts  me  much,  for  in 
my  heart  a  nameless  dread  is  growing;  the  words 
"  serious  —  not  dangerous  "  beat  upon  it  like  ham- 
mer strokes.  The  word  serious  sounds  fainter,  and 
dangerous  repeats  itself  insistently  with  greater  cer- 
titude. O  my  God !  not  to  know  what  at  this  min- 
ute may  be  happening!  Torturing  visions  pass 
before  my  eyes  of  my  grandmother  asking  for  me, 
and  finding  me  not;  and  yet  one  thought  consoles 
me,  I  have  done  all  in  my  power  to  go  to  her.  I 
have  snapped  conventions  like  dry  twigs,  and  sub- 
duing my  fears  I  am  coming  as  fast  as  this  great 
steamer  can  carry  me. 

Not  quite  four  months  ago,  with  my  face  turned 
towards  my  dear  country,  I  was  also  impatiently 
counting  the  throb  of  the  screw;  full  of  hope  and 

295 


296  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

eagerness,  and  so  very  young  in  my  inexperience 
of  all  things.  I  am  still  only  eighteen  but  I  have 
grown  very  mature.  Men  have  loved  me;  that  has 
taught  me  much.  I  have  widely  opened  my  eyes, 
and  watched  people  in  happiness  and  sorrow;  and 
joy  and  grief  I  have  also  known,  and  thus  in  a 
short  time  I  have  grown  old. 

And  then  —  oh,  then,  how  can  I  describe  it,  the 
tokens  of  friendship  I  carry  with  me,  have  they 
not  whispered  things  new  and  strange  ?  The  pansy, 
the  forget-me-not!  What  thoughts  do  they  sug- 
gest? Is  he  who  sent  them  really  my  friend?  Or 
just  a  strange,  incomprehensible  man  whose  image 
constantly  pursues  me?  Poor,  faded  little  flowers! 
They  have  lost  all  their  sweetness  and  perfume,  and 
perhaps  I  have  also  faded  thus  from  his  memory ! 

I  am  now  alone  and  penniless,  nothing  to  pay 
my  voyage  to  Lenox.  I  may  have  to  sell  my 
brushes. 

I  was  on  the  stern  of  the  boat,  watching  the 
waves  churned  by  the  screw,  and  pity  for  myself 
overcame  me,  so  that  tears  ran  down  my  cheek. 
Slowly  the  sensation  came  over  me  that  somebody 
was  observing  me  —  that  strange  feeling  of  a  sixth 
sense  that  gives  warning.  I  quickly  turned  and  saw 
Graf  Adel  with  his  eyes  fixed  upon  me.  He  is 
nice,  young  and  very  gentlemanly;  but  as  his  look 
of  curiosity  suddenly  changed  to  a  stupefied  recog- 
nition, I  grew  more  embarrassed.  My  cheeks 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          297 

flamed  with  red  and  I  was  conscious  of  the  tears 
still  undried.  I  could  not  bring  it  upon  myself 
to  wipe  them,  and  thus  to  acknowledge  their  pres- 
ence, so  with  the  formality  proper  in  a  ball  room 
I  bowed  to  him. 

He  approached  me  cap  in  hand ;  "  Comtesse 
Yvonne,"  he  said,  "  this  is  a  most  unexpected  meet- 
ing." 

"  Yes,"  I  answered  with  as  much  unconcern  as 
I  could  assume,  "  my  departure  for  America  was 
sudden.  I  am  going  to  see  my  grandmother  who 
is  ill,"  and  then  I  added  to  leave  him  no  doubt  as  to 
our  future  intercourse,  "  You  see  we  are  traveling 
in  different  classes.  I  am  in  second  and  you  are 
in  first,  so  we  shall  not  meet;  this  part  of  the  deck 
is  allowed  to  us  as  it  is  the  least  agreeable ;  I  think 
it  is  you  therefore  who  have  passed  the  forbidden 
boundary." 

"  Do  I  understand,  gnadiges  Fraiilein"  he  said 
bowing,  "  that  you  are  dismissing  me  ?  " 

I  hesitated.  I  felt  keenly  the  pleasure  of  meeting 
a  former  acquaintance ;  he  looked  so  nice  as  he  stood 
bareheaded,  and  proud,  and  offended  before  me ; 
and  his  manners  made  me  realize  how  much  I 
missed  the  lack  of  them  in  my  present  companions. 
The  deck  was  entirely  empty ;  the  spying  Alfons  was 
prostrated  by  sickness,  so  why  not  accord  to  my- 
self a  few  minutes  of  civilized  conversation. 

"  Listen,  Graf  Adel,"  I  said,  "  you  must  under- 


298  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

stand  that  my  position  is  unusual  for  a  young  girl 
of  our  world.  You  see  I  am  traveling  alone." 

"  Alone !  "  he  exclaimed  with  surprise. 

'  Yes,"  I  said  with  pleasure  at  taking  somebody 
for  the  first  time  in  my  confidence,  "  I  ran  away." 

"  Comtesse  Yvonne,  we  all  know  that,  but 
thought  not  that  you  ran  away  alone." 

'You  all  knew?"  I  said  in  stupefaction,  "how 
is  that  possible  and  with  whom  could  I  run  away?  " 

"  We  thought,"  he  said  embarrassed,  "  the  jour- 
nals said  — " 

"  The  journals,"  I  cried  out,  "  what  can  they 
know,  what  can  they  say  ?  " 

"  Why,  gnddiges  Fraiilein,  when  a  young  lady  in 
your  position  disappears  it  occasions  a  colossal  scan- 
dal." 

"  Oh !  "  I  said  consternated,  "  I  never  thought  of 
that.  I  have  been  very  stupid.  I  had  only  one 
thought  in  my  head.  Please  tell  me  what  you 
know." 

We  sat  down  on  a  coil  of  rope,  for  the  steamer 
was  plunging  violently  and  it  was  difficult  to  keep 
our  feet.  My  air  of  grandeur  had  departed;  I 
listened  to  Graf  Adel  in  a  spirit  of  meekness  and 
contrition. 

"  You  disappeared  the  night  His  Majesty  was 
at  a  ball  at  your  castle.  Of  course  the  place  was 
guarded  by  detectives  and  secret  police;  no  one 
could  come  and  go  without  being  observed.  The 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          299 

next  morning  towards  midday,  you  did  not  appear, 
nor  answer  any  summons ;  so  your  room  was  forced 
open  and  found  empty.  At  once  search  was  made 
in  all  directions,  then  it  was  found  that  — "  he 
hesitated. 

"  Oh,  please  go  on,"  I  entreated. 

"  That  your  brother's  tutor,  Candidat  Cornelius 
Hasemann  had  suddenly  gone  in  the  night,  leaving 
a  short  note  for  His  Excellency  giving  his  resigna- 
tion but  without  any  explanation.  Countess  Wil- 
helmine's  governess  had  discovered  a  love  declara- 
tion addressed  to  you  by  the  Candidat.  A  detective 
had  seen  a  young  woman  leave  the  Castle  by  the 
servants'  door,  shortly  before  the  Candidat  was 
observed  to  follow  by  the  same  path,  in  the  forest. 
He  thought  they  were  having  a  tryst,  but  naturally 
when  all  these  facts  were  ascertained,  the  conclu- 
sion was  that  you  had  both  gone  off  by  the  milk 
train.  At  Hanover  the  ticket  agent  said  he  had 
recognized  the  Candidat  with  a  thickly  veiled 
young  lady;  they  bought  tickets  together  for  Ham- 
burg." 

"  The  good  Candidat  has  gone  to  Hamburg  to 
stay  with  old  maiden  aunts;  they  have  three  cats, 
they  call  Jungfrau,  Monch  and  Eiger.  The  Candidat 
read  me  a  letter  last  week,  in  which  he  was  told  that 
the  Jungfrau  had  eight  kittens.  Oh,  it  is  too  funny 
to  think  I  could  elope  with  Herr  Candidat  Corne- 
lius Hasemann!"  I  threw  my  head  back  and 


300  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

laughed  as  I  have  not  laughed  all  these  weary 
months. 

But  Graf  Adel  looked  serious;  yes,  very  serious; 
regaining  my  gravity  I  said,  "  But  tell  me,  how 
did  you  hear  of  my  flight?  You  left  Europe  one 
day  after  me." 

'  Your  father's  private  secretary  wrote  to  me 
from  Wildesheim,  the  afternoon  you  vanished;  they 
had  just  traced  your  flight  in  company  with  Herr 
Hasemann.  The  further  investigation  at  Hamburg 
had  not  begun.  As  I  left  Paris  the  newspapers  had 
printed  a  headline  —  Daughter  of  German  Ambassa- 
dor to  Paris  Elopes  With  Brother's  Tutor.  Your 
mother  was  lamenting  ceaselessly  that  the  chances 
for  your  sister's  marriage  had  been  spoilt,  and  His 
Excellency  also  keenly  feels  the  disgrace." 

"  Well,"  I  said,  "  they  are  reassured  now ;  for 
I  wrote  from  Cherbourg;  and  as  long  as  I  eloped 
alone,  it  is  perfectly  proper,  and  nobody  is  dis- 
graced." 

Graf  Adel  did  not  look  as  if  he  were  of  my  opin- 
ion. "  I  shall  write  to  my  step- father  and  beg  his 
pardon ;  for  I  lived  in  his  house  and  he  has  been  kind 
to  me,  and  I  am  sorry  I  distressed  him;  but  oh,"  I 
said  laughing  again,  "  how  I  should  like  to  have 
seen  Herr  Cornelius'  face  and  the  faces  of  his  old 
maiden  aunts,  when  the  detective  arrived  at  his 
home  in  Hamburg,  and  accused  him  of  running 
away  with  me.  Why  poor  dear  man,  there  is  noth- 


ON  BOARD  THE  AM  ERIK  A          301 

ing  he  would  have  liked  better,  but  it  never  entered 
his  head.  He  was  close  to  me  in  the  station  and 
never  saw  me ;  never  knew  I  was  in  the  same  train. 
That  is  a  fact,  Graf  Adel,  although  you  look  at  me 
so  incredulously.  Besides  it  is  only  princesses  who 
run  away  \vith  tutors  and  grooms." 

Graf  Adel  looked  scandalized. 

"  And  now  listen,"  I  continued,  "  you  must  not 
speak  to  me  again.  I  am  not  Comtesse  Yvonne. 
When  I  land  I  shall  be  once  more  Miss  Carrington ; 
at  present  I  am  traveling  under  an  assumed  name 
with  a  troupe  of  actors." 

Graf  Adel  looked  bewildered. 

"  Yes,"  I  went  on,  "  I  am  called  now,  Rosa 
"Schmidt." 

"  Are  you  going  on  the  stage?  "  he  asked  rather 
stupidly. 

"  I  hope  not  to  be  obliged  to,  although  many 
ladies  do ;  and  now,"  I  said  rising,  "  you  must 
promise  me  on  your  honor  not  to  betray  me."  I 
held  out  my  hand ;  he  took  it. 

"  One  thing,  will  you  tell  me  why  you  ran  away  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  I  said ;  "  I  told  you  a  while  ago ;  they 
telegraphed  to  me  from  America  my  grandmother 
was  ill ;  my  mother  kept  the  news  from  me ;  when 
I  saw  the  cable  and  begged  to  go,  she  would  not  let 
me ;  so  you  see," —  I  tried  to  smile  — "  I  was  obliged 
to  run  away." 

Graf  Adel  looked  unconvinced,  but  he  said,  "  I 


302  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

promise  not  to  speak  to  you,  nor  recognize  you; 
but  I  beg  you  to  let  me  know  if  I  can  be  of  any 
service  to  you.  You  are  much  too  young  and  too 
beautiful  to  travel  unprotected  in  a  company  of 
strange  people,  far  below  your  rank.  If  I  were 
not  afraid  of  compromising  you  further,  I  should 
insist  on  your  traveling  under  my  care,  but  unfor- 
tunately, that  is  impossible." 

"  Thank  you,"  I  answered.  "  I  return  to  my 
second  class  comrades  with  whom  I  can  travel  with- 
out being  compromised.  I  am  glad  I  met  you;  I 
am  glad  of  the  information  you  have  given  me; 
but  one  thing  you  must  quickly  learn  ;  in  my  country, 
an  American  young  girl  can  always  take  care  of 
herself.  Good-bye,  and  remember  we  know  not 
each  other  when  we  meet."  He  looked  at  me  ques- 
tioningly  one  moment,  then  seeing  I  was  serious, 
he  bowed  profoundly  and  left  me. 

I  confess  I  have  noticed  more  since  this  meeting 
the  little  vulgarities  of  the  Troupe.  I  am  afraid  I 
am  neither  a  philosopher  nor  a  true  Republican ;  and 
the  clouds  overhead  seem  very  dark  and  heavy,  and 
the  waves  beneath  very  gray  and  angry. 


XXX 

OCTOBER  loth.  I  appeared  last  night  as  Pier- 
rette in  a  performance  our  Troupe  gave.  This 
is  how  it  happened.  Among  the  first  class  passen- 
gers there  were  no  distinguished  actors  and  Herr 
Meyerbaum  was  asked  to  permit  his  Troupe  to  give 
a  performance  for  the  benefit  of  the  Sailor's  Haven. 
He  accepted  on  condition  that  half  of  the  proceeds 
went  to  his  comedians,  as  they  were  not  in  a  position 
to  give  their  services  entirely  free.  He  told  me 
he  had  made  this  arrangement  for  my  sake,  as  I 
had  lost  my  money  overboard,  and  I  should  get 
the  whole.  This  I  refused,  but  said  we  should  all 
share  alike.  Before  I  promised  to  act,  I  looked 
over  the  passenger  list  to  see  I  had  no  acquaintances 
on  board.  Graf  Adel's  name  was  the  only  one  I 
knew,  and  I  was  sure  I  could  depend  on  his  discre- 
tion. 

Thus  the  night  before  landing  the  performance 
took  place.  First  on  the  program  was  a  mono- 
logue by  Herr  Knackfuss,  supposing  himself  to  be 
a  German  emigrant  arriving  in  New  York,  meeting 
millionaires  who  asked  him  to  dinner,  and  offered 
him  their  daughters  in  marriage.  It  was  amusing 

303 


304  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

and  fantastic,  as  the  author  had  never  been  outside 
his  own  country;  I  think  people  can  write  more 
entertainingly  of  things  they  know  not,  than  of 
things  they  are  intimate  with. 

Then  followed  a  duet  between  Malvina  Edelweiss 
and  Alfons  von  Ritterstuhl,  very  sentimental  and 
not  to  my  taste.  Thirdly,  Frau  Matrosi  and  old 
Herr  Schnirbelmaul  had  a  little  dialogue  as  between 
two  German  peasants,  which  was  amusing  for  those 
who  understood  the  dialect. 

Then  came  the  last  number  in  which  I  appeared 
as  Pierrette,  in  a  costume  composed  of  my  white 
silk  petticoat  with  black  paper  disks  sewn  over  it, 
a  white  loose  waist  of  Malvina's  decorated  in  the 
same  manner.  With  white  tissue  paper  I  made  a 
big  ruff,  and  with  stiff  white  satin  paper  I  cut  out 
a  three  cornered  hat,  with  different  colored  ribbons 
hanging  from  one  corner.  As  I  stepped  forward  I 
made  a  sensation,  and  was  greeted  with  a  great 
deal  of  applause.  Herr  Schimmel  was  Pierrot;  al- 
though he  is  quite  old,  over  fifty,  he  has  a  nice  bari- 
tone voice.  Herr  Schmidt  was  dressed  as  Arle- 
quin;  he  and  Herr  Schimmel  serenaded  me  in  turn, 
singing  with  guitar  and  mandolin;  with  rouge  and 
paint  we  made  quite  a  good  effect.  Herr  Ludwig 
stood  behind  the  piano  representing  the  moon;  his 
round  face,  plastered  with  white  appeared  through 
the  hole  in  a  disk  of  blue  paper,  and  looked  very 
comic.  I  sang  and  I  danced  or  rather  went  through 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          305 

a  figure  with  steps  and  conventional  attitudes.  I 
may  say  our  comedy  was  a  success. 

Herr  Meyerbaum  wanted  me  to  go  the  rounds 
with  my  three  cornered  hat  to  make  the  collection, 
but  I  absolutely  refused.  Herr  Ludwig  performed 
the  duty  instead. 

I  had  noticed  Graf  Adel  in  the  front  row ;  he  gave 
no  sign  of  recognition;  afterwards  the  general  at- 
tention being  directed  to  Herr  Meyerbaum  who 
stood  up  to  make  a  speech,  unobserved  Graf  Adel 
approached  me  and  whispered: 

"  Last  time  I  had  the  pleasure  of  seeing  you  act 
was  at  the  Russian  Embassy  before  the  Grand 
Duchess  Vladimir ;  your  comrades  were  two  princes, 
the  contrast  is  strange." 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  remember ;  but  these  people  act  better, 
and  they  are  kinder,  more  helpful  and  less  jealous." 
As  I  spoke,  I  know  not  why,  a  great  lassitude  came 
over  me;  a  desire  to  hide  myself;  and  in  the  midst 
of  the  noise  and  clapping  of  hands  which  greeted 
Herr  Meyerbaum's  speech,  I  slipped  away  to  my 
cabin  unseen. 

It  was  quiet  there,  and  as  I  stood  alone,  suddenly 
I  was  overwhelmed  with  a  terrible  feeling  of  unhap- 
piness.  I  cannot  describe  it ;  a  sort  of  nameless 
misery,  that  ran  through  every  vein,  down  to  my 
finger  tips;  a  wretchedness  that  made  me  feel  like 
a  little  lost  child.  I  saw  my  painted  face  in  the 
mirror,  and  for  the  first  time  I  realized  how  my 
20 


306  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

grandmother  would  have  disliked  to  see  me  thus; 
and  tearing  off  the  hateful  clothes,  I  effaced  the 
paint  and  powder.  Such  a  yearning  I  felt  to  seek 
refuge  in  her  kind  arms ;  it  seemed  to  me  I  was  like 
a  young  bird  fallen  from  its  nest,  unable  to  fly  and 
with  no  one  to  assist  it. 

I  climbed  into  my  berth  and  hiding  my  head  in 
the  pillow,  I  sobbed,  I  sobbed  as  if  my  heart  would 
break.  I  was  disturbed  by  Herr  Ludwig  who  is 
always  sent  on  errands.  He  entered  my  cabin,  and 
his  round,  painted  face  appeared  over  the  edge  of 
my  berth.  I  laughed,  and  then  I  cried,  and  then  I 
laughed  again  in  a  sort  of  a  convulsive  way.  He 
looked  at  me  alarmed  and  ejaculated:  " Ach  du 
Himmel!  die  Klelne  hat  N ervenanfall ! "  and  he 
rushed  away. 

A  moment  later,  as  I  lay  panting  in  my  berth 
Herr  Schimmel  entered ;  he  was  also  still  dressed  as 
a  white-faced  Pierrot,  but  he  made  me  not  laugh. 
He  looked  at  me  in  his  quiet  kind  way  and  took 
my  hand,  and  stroked  it  soothingly,  as  an  old  nurse 
might  have  done  and  murmured,  "So,  so!,  muss  nit 
weinen,  armes  Kmdchen;  kleines  Madel,  das  so 
schon  gespielt  hat."  And  over  and  over  again  he 
repeated  the  same  words,  patting  my  shoulder  and 
stroking  my  hand;  so  I  sobbed  no  more  and  only 
shivered  from  time  to  time  as  waves  ripple  after  a 
storm. 

Then  he  offered  me  a  glass  of  water,  and  I  sat 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          307 

up  to  drink  it.  At  that  moment  Herr  Meyerbaum 
and  Frau  Matrosi,  followed  by  Herr  Schmidt  en- 
tered the  room,  and  were  aghast  at  my  face  all 
swollen  and  red. 

" Du  barmherzige  Jung f ran!  Das  Kind  ist  en- 
stellt! "  from  Frau  Matrosi. 

"  Potztausenddonnerwetter!  "  from  Herr  Meyer- 
baum. 

"  Ach  Jemind!  Consinchen ! "  from  Herr  Lud- 
wig. 

Then  Herr  Meyerbaum  said  I  must  wash  my 
face  and  get  up ;  they  were  going  to  have  a  glorious 
supper  in  the  purser's  room,  with  toasts  in  my  honor, 
and  he  laid  nine  dollars  on  the  bed  as  my  share  of 
the  proceeds.  "  Come  Dornroschen,"  he  added,  "  I 
will  give  you  a  famous  engagement;  you  will  be- 
come celebrated,  and  make  a  lot  of  money;  a  lot  of 
American  money;  big  dollars;  but  you  must  clip 
your  thorns  and  be  a  good  little  Rosa,  for  nerves 
destroy  the  happiness  of  the  actress  and  the  patience 
of  the  stage  manager." 

"  Yes,  my  little  one,"  said  Frau  Matrosi.  "  I 
will  comb  your  beautiful  hair  and  smooth  it,  and 
wash  your  pretty  eyes." 

But  I  shook  my  head,  and  lay  down  again,  and 
turned  my  face  towards  the  wall.  After  a  few 
more  excited  expostulations,  Herr  Schimmel  sent 
them  away  and  said  he  would  care  for  me. 

Standing  by  my  berth,   he  began  singing  softly 


3o8  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

those  sweet  German  folk  songs,  until  I  was  quiet 
and  peaceful.  I  turned  to  thank  him.  He  stopped 
me :  "  Hush,  hush,  kleines  Madel,  thank  me  not, 
and  listen  to  me  and  rest.  You  are  delicate  and 
sensitive,  and  not  shaped  of  the  same  coarse  ma- 
terial we  are ;  you  are  not  meant  for  the  life  we 
lead;  it  is  full  of  hardships  and  knocks  which  bruise 
the  tender  ones  like  you.  I  know  not  why  you 
strayed  among  us,  but  I  know  you  must  leave  us 
and  wander  back  to  your  own  again.  I  saw  the 
fair  young  gentleman  speak  to  you ;  he  is  your  sort, 
—  you  and  he  —  not  you  and  we  belong  to  each 
other.  I  have  seen  much  of  life;  not  from  the 
boxes  all  high  and  gilded,  but  down  in  the  pit,  where 
delicate  flowers  like  you  are  trodden  upon  and  soiled 
by  coarse  usage.  So  far,  you  have  grown  on  a 
long  noble  stem;  you  carry  your  head  high,  and 
thorns  prick  the  hand  that  would  pluck  you.  It  is 
among  such  carefully  raised  flowers,  in  a  weeded 
garden  that  you  must  bloom,  not  among  us  poor  this- 
tles and  dusty  wayside  plants.  Your  fragrance  is 
very  sweet ;  we  have  all  felt  its  purity ;  you  know  not 
of  evil  and  therefore  know  no  fear;  but  listen,  my 
child,  to  the  man  who  trembles  for  you,  and  is  full 
of  fear." 

He  paused  a  long  time,  and  then  asked,  "  One 
question  will  you  answer  me?  Are  you  going  to  a 
strange  country?  I  think  not  that  you  are  a  Ger- 
man. Have  you  friends  here  ?  " 


ON  BOARD  THE  AMERIKA          309 

"  Yes,  dear  Herr  Schimmel,"  I  said,  "  to  you 
alone  I  will  tell  my  story.  I  have  run  away  from 
those  I  lived  with  in  Germany;  from  my  mother, 
my  step- father,  my  brother  and  sister;  my  own 
father  was  an  American.  I  am  an  American.  I 
love  my  wonderful  country.  I  am  a  true  American. 
I  have  friends  here,  and  above  all  my  dear  grand- 
mother; it  is  to  her  I  am  going.  Yes,  to  her  I 
hope." 

But  my  heart  misgave  me  at  the  assertion  I 
was  making  with  a  certitude  of  disaster;  and  again 
big  tears  came  to  my  eyes.  Without  further  ques- 
tioning Herr  Schimmel  began  singing  again  and  I 
must  have  dropped  into  a  profound  sleep  for  I 
heard  him  not  go,  nor  the  two  women  come  to  bed. 

This  account  I  have  been  writing  on  deck  where 
I  have  sat  since  a  very  early  hour.  Last  night  I 
felt  like  a  foolish  weak  child,  this  morning  I  am 
strong  and  courageous. 

The  lines  of  hills  are  growing  visible.  I  look  on 
them  with  ardor,  drawing  hope  and  resolution  from 
the  joy  of  returning  to  my  dear  country.  The 
aspect  is  not  bright  with  the  fresh  green  of  June, 
but  the  land  looks  soft  and  hazy,  and  a  patriotic 
tenderness  fills  my  soul.  Once  more  I  shall  step 
onto  American  earth.  That  joyous  thrill  is  suffi- 
cient to  inspire  me  with  courage  —  and  thus  what 
the  good  God  sends  me,  I  am  ready  to  face. 


310  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  had  nine  dollars;  three  I  gave  the  stewardess 
who  seemed  pleased,  even  unto  surprise.  The  six 
remaining  shall  pay  my  journey  to  Lenox.  We 
land  in  time  for  me  to  take  the  afternoon  train. 
It  is  a  wonderful  satisfaction  to  possess  money  one 
has  earned.  I  am  proud  of  it;  and  it  gives  me 
confidence  that  if  forced  to,  I  can  earn  my  fortune; 
for  whatever  happens  I  will  not  return  to  Europe. 

I  found  on  my  bed  an  engagement  drawn  by 
Herr  Meyerbaum,  to  which  I  only  need  sign  my 
name;  his  New  York  address  I  have;  thus,  my 
fortune  is  assured,  if  all  else  fails  me.  A  great 
shadow  of  grief  hangs  over  me,  which  veils  the 
prospect  before  me.  In  a  few  hours  it  will  be 
cleared;  until  then  my  destiny  is  obscure.  Is  my 
fate  to  be  like  the  carefully  tended  flower  in  a  bloom- 
ing garden?  Or  am  I  to  be  the  lonely  rose  of 
thorns,  with  head  held  bravely  high,  pricking  the 
fingers  that  would  pluck  it  ?  Oh,  I  know  not ! 


RILLDALE 


XXXI 

OCTOBER  nth.  I  sit  looking  at  the  blank 
pages  of  my  diary,  and  knowing  so  well  the 
words  that  will  soon  cover  them,  my  pen  trembles, 
I  hardly  can  write,  for  how  can  I  describe  the  emo- 
tions I  have  experienced? 

Twenty-four  hours  ago  I  disembarked  at  New 
York.  Mr.  Meyerbaum  had  signed  our  papers. 
On  the  dock  I  did  much  interpreting  for  them  all, 
and  for  the  first  time  they  thus  knew  I  could  speak 
English.  They  pressed  me  to  spend  the  night  at 
their  boarding  house,  but  I  said  my  grandmother 
was  ill,  and  I  must  go  to  her  at  once.  I  felt  a 
never-before-imagined  impatience  that  stung  me 
like  the  pricks  of  a  thousand  pins,  to  depart  rap- 
idly. 

Finally,  I  got  away.  I  had  the  intelligence  be- 
fore stepping  into  a  carriage  to  ask  the  price,  and 
I  found  I  would  not  have  enough  money  for  the 
train;  so  I  took  various  electric  trams,  and  after 
two  or  three  mistakes  I  arrived  at  the  station,  run- 
ning to  catch  the  train  for  Lenox. 

I  sank  into  a  seat  which  I  fortunately  occupied 
alone.  I  was  breathless,  my  heart  was  beating,  and 

313 


3 14  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

every  nerve  was  tingling  with  apprehensions  vague 
and  unformed.  Then  as  the  dismal  blocks  of  houses 
became  visible,  and  later  the  fields  and  fences  dis- 
figured by  odious  advertisements,  the  sky  grey  with 
heavy  clouds,  the  day  vanishing  sadly  without  the 
smile  of  the  setting  sun,  the  air  growing  cold  and 
raw,  my  abject  condition  was  so  overpowering,  that 
never  a  thrill  of  joy  did  I  feel  at  traversing  once 
more  my  beloved  American  land. 

Pictures  of  my  grandmother  lying  cold  and  sense- 
less, without  response  revolved  before  my  vision 
like  fever  dreams.  I  saw  myself  kneeling  at  her 
bedside,  praying,  sobbing,  and  her  hands  unmoved, 
white  and  rigid,  unable  to  extend  the  blessing  I 
implored.  No  words  of  comfort  could  she  speak, 
and  my  misery  grew  beyond  any  power  of  expres- 
sion. Great  pain  turns  us  into  dumb  animals. 

I  had  a  book,  but  I  could  not  read.  I  had 
eaten  nothing  since  early  morning,  and  knowing  I 
required  all  my  forces  for  my  journey's  end,  I 
bought  a  sandwich  at  a  station,  but  I  could  not 
swallow  it.  Night  came  on,  and  the  train  wound 
its  way  into  the  hills,  sweeping  round  great  curves, 
following  a  river's  course.  I  could  hear  the  wind 
howl  in  increasing  fury,  and  the  rain  beat  violently 
against  the  window  panes.  A  suffocating  steam 
heat  was  turned  on  to  the  car,  which  I  had  never 
known,  and  which  made  me  feel  dizzy  and  faint. 

A  thousand  times  I  looked  at  my  watch.     The 


RILLDALE  315 

minutes  are  exactly  timed  on  the  clock  but  not  so  do 
we  realize  them;  to  the  happy  mind  they  fly  like 
seconds,  to  the  anxious  heart  they  are  prolonged 
into  hours,  and  the  hours  into  centuries  of  pain. 

Two  stations  more !  I  was  growing  wild  at  the 
delays ;  I  glanced  out  of  the  window  and  saw  as  the 
train  moved  slowly  again  a  beautiful  horse,  pran- 
cing near  the  platform.  A  tall  man  preparing  to 
enter  the  carriage  bent  forward  to  speak  to  the 
coachman.  The  light  of  the  lantern  fell  on  his 
face.  It  was  Herbert  Dale. 

I  rose  in  my  seat  with  the  impulse  to  call  him, 
but  we  were  speeding  past  the  station  platform.  It 
was  too  late.  I  sank  back  with  a  sob  of  disap- 
pointment. He  had  been  near  me  through  all  this 
terrible  journey.  He  could  have  set  my  mind  at  rest. 
An  intense  longing  came  over  me,  for  some  one  to 
take  care  of  me.  All  my  proud  independence  was 
gone. 

The  last  moments  of  suspense  passed.  New  and 
conflicting  emotions  possessed  me.  Lenox!  was 
called  out.  I  rose  and  grasped  my  bag  and  rug, 
my  sole  possessions.  My  knees  trembled  so,  that 
as  I  stood  on  the  platform  with  the  wind  beating 
against  me,  for  a  moment  I  could  not  move.  One 
or  two  travelers  passed  by  and  drove  off  hurriedly. 
The  rain  had  changed  to  sleet  and  after  the  hot 
train,  I  was  seized  by  the  cold. 

The  night  was  dark.     I  saw  no  other  carriage, 


316  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

but  I  rallied  my  strength :  I  had  not  traveled  three 
thousand  miles  to  be  a  feeble  coward  in  the  end, 
and  stumbling  on  to  the  platform  with  a  voice 
nearly  firm,  I  asked  the  chief  of  the  station  where 
I  could  obtain  a  carriage. 

"  Where  do  you  want  to  go?  "  he  asked. 

"  I  wish  to  drive  to  Mrs.  Carrington's  house,"  I 
answered. 

'  That 's  the  old  lady  who  died  a  week  ago ;  the 
house  is  closed,  the  help  left  this  morning." 

I  stared  at  him  with  my  eyes  wide  open  as  if 
I  could  not  understand  what  he  said.  He  moved 
away,  I  remained  standing  in  the  wind  and  rain. 
The  man  returned,  he  said, — 

"  I  am  going  to  close  the  station,  you  can't  stay 
here  —  what  are  you  going  to  do  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  I  said  feebly,  "  where  can  I  go?  " 

"  The  hotel  is  open,"  he  said,  "  or  have  you 
friends  in  these  parts  ?  " 

"  I  have  one  friend  in  Stockbriclge."  I  spoke 
hardly  knowing  what  I  said. 

"Where  abouts?" 

"  I  could  not  tell  you  where  he  lives,"  I  said. 

"What's  his  name?  I  know  most  of  the  folks 
about." 

"  Herbert  Dale." 

"  Oh,  that 's  all  right,  he  '11  look,  after  you.  I  '11 
put  you  on  board  the  trolley  car  for  Stockbridge.  I 
hear  it  coming  now.  You  are  powerful  young  to 


RILLDALE  317 

be  traveling  alone  and  you  are  soaked  through  al- 
ready. You  need  some  one  to  look  after  you." 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  "  I  need  some  one  to  look  after 
me." 

"  Well,  Herbert  Dale  will  do  that  all  right ;  he 
is  the  right  sort,  and  don't  you  forget  it." 

A  shrill  whistle  pierced  the  night.  The  chief  of 
the  station  had  an  umbrella,  and  he  tried  to  shield 
me  with  it,  but  it  was  nearly  blown  from  his  hand. 
I  observed  everything  as  if  my  senses  were  strung 
to  the  keenest  perception. 

The  lights  approached;  the  electric  train  stopped. 

"  Say,  Billy !  Let  this  girl  out  at  Beach  Road ; 
she  is  going  to  Dale's."  The  conductor  nodded,  the 
chief  of  the  station  shoved  me  in. 

"  Good-night,"  he  shouted. 

"  Thank  you,"  I  said  and  the  car  started. 

I  paid  my  place  and  sat  perfectly  still.  I  felt 
as  if  I  were  turned  to  stone;  all  the  nervous  rest- 
lessness was  gone ;  from  time  to  time  I  shivered 
so  that  my  teeth  chattered.  I  do  not  know  how 
long  I  remained  in  the  car.  The  conductor  called 
to  me,  "  Here  's  your  stop." 

I  got  up,  "  Where  do  I  go  now?"  I  asked  mechan- 
ically. 

"  Follow  the  road  to  the  top  of  the  hill ;  up 
there  on  the  mountain  you  can  see  the  lights  of 
Dale's  house." 

"How  far  is  it?  "I  asked. 


3i8  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  A  bit  above  a  mile.  Here 's  your  grip  you 
were  forgetting." 

I  descended  into  a  pool  of  water.  The  rain 
stung  with  icy  sharpness;  the  wind  had  risen  to 
a  gale,  and  my  garments  whipped  around  me  so 
that  I  could  hardly  walk. 

The  tramway  started,  and  soon  vanished  in  the 
dark.  I  was  alone!  The  obscurity  was  profound. 
The  deeper  blackness  of  trees  and  bushes  was  the 
only  indication  of  the  sides  of  the  road.  The  sleet 
transpierced  me.  I  stumbled  at  every  step;  my  bag 
was  heavy.  My  only  guide  was  the  distant  light  on 
the  mountain,  which  seemed  to  recede  as  I  ad- 
vanced. 

Twice  my  hat  blew  off,  and  as  a  more  furious 
assault  of  the  wind  swept  upon  me,  I  stopped,  and 
said  to  myself  with  great  clearness  of  mind  as  if 
counseling  some  one  else  — "  Leave  your  bag  and 
rug  under  this  tree;  by  the  side  of  this  bridge; 
there  you  can  find  them  to-morrow,  for  you  are 
too  weak  to  carry  them  further;  your  hat  leave 
there  also;  your  strength  is  nearly  gone;  you  must 
depend  only  on  your  will.  Courage!  March! 
you  must  reach  his  house  to-night."  If  but  the 
stars  were  shining  that  might  smile  on  me,  as  if 
with  the  eyes  of  the  dear  dead!  For  there  I  like 
to  think  they  dwell.  But  no !  Above,  around,  on 
every  side,  only  darkness. 

The  road  mounted  steeply ;  my  breath  was  short ; 


RILLDALE  319 

my  heart  beat  in  a  strange  manner;  my  eyes  were 
fixed  on  the  mountain.  I  stopped  again,  and  I 
could  distinguish  the  lights  in  the  distant  house 
shining  from  different  windows;  as  I  looked  I  saw 
one  extinguished,  and  then  another.  It  was  no 
doubt  very  late,  and  soon  the  lights  would  all  be 
out,  and  then  how  should  I  find  the  way?  Should 
I  lie  beneath  the  hedge  like  a  poor  lamb  lost  in 
a  storm?  Surely  then  I  should  die.  I  shivered 
from  head  to  foot.  I  was  wet ;  I  was  cold,  and  the 
darkness  filled  me  with  terrors.  I  thought  I  saw 
weird  shadows  moving;  and  with  a  sort  of  de- 
spairing resolution  I  advanced  murmuring:  Cour- 
age !  Courage ! 

I  reached  what  seemed  the  top  of  the  road;  an- 
other road  ran  across  it.  On  the  hill  side,  one 
light  was  shining;  the  wind  struck  me  as  if  to 
throw  me  down;  I  bent  my  head,  and  when  I  lifted 
it  again,  the  light  was  out.  Which  way  now  to 
turn?  I  knew  not.  I  knelt  down  and  prayed,  and 
in  my  anguish  I  prayed  to  my  grandmother,  as  if 
she  were  a  saint  in  Heaven. 

"  Oh,  my  dear  Grandmother,  I  have  come  to  you 
from  across  the  great  Ocean,  longing  for  you  all 
the  time,  for  you  are  the  only  one  who  loves  me. 
I  yearned  to  have  your  arms  about  me,  and  have 
you  bend  your  head  to  bless  me ;  bless  me  now 
I  beseech  you ;  I  have  lost  my  way ;  I  am  like  a 
little  desolate  child,  and  I  shall  die  if  I  find  no  shel- 


320  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ter;  children  die  and  young  people  like  me  too, 
it  matters  not  so  very  much,  but  I  should  like  to  live 
a  little  longer;  show  me  the  way  to  his  house,  for 
there  I  shall  be  safe." 

I  rose  from  my  knees,  and  turned  to  the  left ; 
thus  the  wind  was  behind  me.  I  had  gone  but  a  few 
steps  when  I  perceived  to  my  right  two  gate  posts; 
they  surely  indicated  the  road  to  a  house,  and  as  I 
passed  through  they  seemed  vaguely  familiar.  In- 
stead of  the  deep  mud  I  had  been  traversing  I  could 
feel  beneath  my  foot  the  gravel  of  an  avenue.  I 
mounted  onwards  by  great  bends,  amidst  open 
meadows;  then  the  avenue  continued  through  a 
wood  which  was  so  dark,  I  had  to  feel  my  way 
slowly ;  I  passed  on  a  bridge,  beneath  which  I  heard 
water  flowing.  Then  I  remembered  how  in  the 
summer,  when  my  pony  had  run  away  and  I  was 
lost  on  a  similar  road,  that  I  had  passed  likewise 
through  prairies,  a  forest  and  a  stream.  Then  I 
was  suffering  from  great  heat  in  the  blazing  noon 
sun,  now  I  was  perishing  from  cold  in  a  stormy 
night,  but  surely  it  was  the  same  path. 

In  the  same  manner  as  before,  when  I  thought 
my  strength  was  utterly  gone,  the  trees  unex- 
pectedly opened  to  a  clear  space,  and  I  saw  the  out- 
line of  a  big  house. 

I  reflected  thus:  "Is  every  one  asleep  within? 
Where  can  I  enter?  Shall  my  knocking  be  heard?  " 

Vaguely  to  my  right  I  see  a  faint  reflection  of  a 


RILLDALE  321 

light.  I  mount  the  stone  steps  of  a  terrace ;  I  per- 
ceive that  through  three  long  windows  light  is 
shining;  I  approach,  and  turn  the  handle  of  the 
nearest  window.  I  open  the  glass  door.  I  walk 
in,  shutting  the  door  behind  me. 

I  was  in  the  library  I  remembered  so  well.  A  fire 
was  blazing  in  the  great  chimney ;  Herbert  Dale  sat 
in  front  of  it.  He  turned  and  saw  me,  and  jumped 
to  his  feet.  I  could  neither  speak  nor  move;  a 
strange  faintness  came  over  me. 

He  looked  at  me  first  with  the  greatest  surprise, 
and  then  with  a  sort  of  horror.  He  has  told  me 
since,  that  as  I  stood  there,  pale,  with  staring  eyes, 
for  an  instant,  he  thought  I  was  my  own  spirit. 

Half  unconsciously  I  held  out  my  hands  to  him 
and  murmured,  "  I  have  come  to  you,  please  take 
care  of  me." 

He  came  forward ;  I  felt  the  touch  of  his  fingers ; 
everything  grew  obscure.  He  caught  me  as  I  fell. 
Gradually  my  consciousness  returned.  I  was  lying 
on  the  sofa  before  the  fire,  and  he  was  kneeling  at 
my  side,  chafing  my  hands.  I  kept  my  eyes  closed 
not  to  disturb  what  seemed  at  first  a  wonderful 
dream.  I  heard  him  murmur :  "  Poor  little  girl ! 
Poor  child !  " 

His  voice  was  gentle,  his  hands  held  mine  in 
a  clasp  so  protecting  and  strong,  I  felt  with  a 
sense  of  peace  that  at  last,  someone  was  taking 
care  of  me;  thus  I  moved  not,  but  remained  quite 


322  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

still.  He  lifted  a  strand  of  my  hair  which  had 
blown  all  over  my  shoulders.  "  Where  does  she 
come  from,  she  is  dripping  wet!"  He  made  a 
movement  to  rise  from  his  knees.  I  could  not  bear 
to  have  him  leave  me ;  I  opened  my  eyes  and  looked 
at  him  without  speaking.  He  bent  over  me;  his 
expression  was  anxious  and  so  kind  as  I  had  never 
expected  to  see. 

"  Yvonne,"  he  said,  "  speak  to  me,  where  do  you 
come  from  ?  " 

"  From  Germany,"  I  answered. 

"  From  Germany !  "  he  repeated,  "  I  mean  to- 
night where  do  you  come  from  ?  " 

"  Out  of  the  storm,"  I  murmured,  and  I  shivered. 

He  rose  to  his  feet :  "  Where  is  your  maid  ? 
Where  is  your  trunk?  I  heard  no  carriage  ap- 
proach. You  must  change  your  clothes." 

"  I  came  alone,"  I  said,  "  I  have  brought  nothing 
with  me." 

My  lip  trembled;  it  was  difficult  not  to  cry,  for 
I  felt  very  pitiable.  He  looked  at  me  perplexed  and 
repeated,  "  All  alone  from  Germany,"  and  seeing 
my  shoes  covered  with  mud  he  bent  down  and  took 
them  off,  "  you  walked  here,  how  far  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  From  the  tramway  at  the  bottom  of  a  hill,  up 
a  long,  long,  road." 

Again  I  shivered. 

'  You  are  cold ;  you  must  take  these  wet  things 
off.     I  have  no  woman  in  the  house.     I  am  only 


RILLDALE  323 

picnicking  here  with  a  man  servant;  he  went  to  bed 
some  time  ago."  He  knit  his  brow  as  if  reflect- 
ing. 

I  arose  and  stretched  out  my  hand  to  him :  "  Oh 
please  Mr.  Dale,  don't  send  me  away  again.  I  have 
nobody  in  the  world  to  go  to  now;  let  me  stay  by 
the  fire;  I  shall  dry  myself  thus,  and  soon  I  shall 
be  stronger;  just  to-night  let  me  stay." 

He  took  my  trembling  hands  in  his.  "  Dear 
child,"  he  said,  "  don't  be  alarmed :  you  shall  remain 
here.  I  am  going  to  hunt  for  something  that  you 
can  wear." 

He  left  the  room.  I  stood  by  the  mantelpiece 
and  waited.  In  a  moment  he  returned  carrying  a 
red  silk  quilted  and  embroidered  Japanese  kimono, 
woolen  golf  stockings  and  a  fur  coat. 

"  Take  your  dress  off,"  he  said,  "  here  by  the 
fire,  and  put  these  things  on.  I  shall  be  gone  for 
a  few  minutes  to  warm  some  milk  for  you." 

He  went,  and  I  obeyed  him  and  took  off  my 
clothes.  I  wrapped  the  red  silk  gown  around  me, 
pulled  on  the  long  woolen  stockings,  and  put  the 
fur  cloak  around  my  shoulders.  I  then  sat  down 
in  a  big  arm  chair  by  the  fire;  my  hair  fell  to  my 
waist,  for  I  had  lost  all  my  hairpins  when  the  wind 
blew  off  my  hat. 

I  must  have  had  an  appearance  extraordinary, 
for  when  Mr.  Dale  returned,  he  stood  still  an  instant 
looking  at  me  and  exclaimed,  "  By  Jove !  " 


324  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

He  gave  me  a  long  glass  filled  with  warm  milk, 
a  little  sweetened  and  with  rum  in  it.  I  drank 
slowly ;  a  delicious  warmth  penetrated  me,  for  until 
then  I  had  felt  as  if  the  marrow  of  my  bones  were 
congealed. 

'  That  is  good,"  I  said,  and  he  put  down  my 
emptied  glass;  then  drawing  a  chair  near  mine  he 
sat  down  beside  me. 

"  Now,"  he  said,  "  if  you  feel  up  to  it,  tell  me 
what  strange  adventure  brought  you  here  to-night." 

"  But  yes,"  I  answered,  "  I  will  tell  you  every- 
thing: the  reason  of  my  leaving  Germany  was  I 
heard  my  dear  grandmother  was  ill,  very  ill,  but  my 
mother  wished  me  not  to  depart,  so  I  had  to  run 
away  from  the  Castle  and  go  to  America  alone; 
from  the  steamer  I  went  to  Lenox,  and  there  the 
chief  of  the  station  told  me  my  grandmother  had 
died  last  week."  Emotion  overcame  me:  I  hid 
my  face  in  my  hands,  and  I  sobbed. 

"  Poor  little  girl,"  he  said  softly,  and  laid  his 
hand  on  my  bowed  head  as  if  to  protect  me.  It 
soothed  my  grief  a  little.  I  no  longer  sobbed. 
After  a  moment  he  gently  drew  down  my  hands 
from  my  face,  and  said :  "  Listen,  Yvonne,  I  will 
tell  you  now  what  I  know  about  your  grandmother's 
illness,  if  you  want  to  hear." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  said,  "  I  beseech  you  tell  me  every- 
thing about  her;  for  I  know  nothing."  And  as  he 
drew  not  away  his  hand,  my  fingers  remained 


RILLDALE  325 

clasped  in  his,  and  this  seemed  to  give  me  courage 
to  listen,  and  comfort  to  my  sorrow. 

He  began  in  a  low,  even  voice.  "  Your  grand- 
mother came  as  usual  to  Lenox  this  autumn.  I 
have  always  called  on  her,  and  this  year  I  went 
oftener  than  usual.  We  often  spoke  of  you.  She 
loved  you  dearly." 

'  Yes,  I  know,"  I  said  with  a  sob,  "  and  I  loved 
her  more  than  anybody  on  the  earth." 

"  She  told  me,"  he  continued,  "  that  she  feared 
you  were  not  happy  with  your  family  in  Germany; 
that  perhaps  your  mother  did  not  quite  understand 
your  character." 

"  Oh,"  I  cried,  "  my  mother  has  never  tried  to 
understand  me,  she  thinks  I  have  nothing  but  bad 
qualities !  " 

"  Your  grandmother  on  the  contrary  said  you  had 
the  warmest  heart  and  the  sweetest  disposition  she 
had  ever  seen,  but  she  dreaded  that  in  your  im- 
petuousness  you  did  not  often  consider  the  conse- 
quences of  your  acts." 

"  That  is  true !  I  am  constantly  astonished  at 
what  arrives  to  me." 

"  Therefore  I  think  she  was  worried  over  you. 
The  last  time  I  saw  her, —  she  was  then  feeling  very 
unwell, —  she  said  to  me  it  would  be  a  comfort 
for  her  to  know  that  I  would  stand  by  you  in  case 
of  necessity,  for  if  anything  happened  to  her  you 
had  no  one  to  turn  to." 


326  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  Oh,  yes,  that  is  so,"  I  said  and  bent  my  head  to 
hide  my  tears. 

"  I  assured  your  grandmother  I  would  do  my 
utmost  to  be  of  help  to  you,  although  I  feared  I 
was  not  the  kind  of  man  a  young  girl  like  you  would 
appeal  to." 

"  Oh,  why  not  ?  "  I  asked  looking  at  him  ques- 
tioningly. 

He  looked  at  me  a  moment  with  an  expression  I 
could  not  define.  "  We  shall  not  talk  now  of  other 
matters  which  concern  you  and  which  your  grand- 
mother apparently  ignored." 

I  knew  not  what  he  meant. 

He  continued :  "  Your  grandmother's  cold  devel- 
oped into  pneumonia ;  she  became  rapidly  uncon- 
scious, and  was  spared  all  suffering,  for  when  I 
returned  five  days  later  I  met  her  nephew,  Henry 
Short,  who  told  me  she  had  died  very  peacefully." 

I  moaned :  "  Oh,  my  dear,  dear  grandmother," 
and  because  it  was  she  who  told  him  to  be  my  friend, 
as  he  sat  beside  me  holding  my  hand,  I  leant  my 
head  upon  his  shoulder  and  wept. 

"  Poor  little  girl,"  he  whispered,  and  I  felt  in 
truth  like  a  desolate  child. 

After  a  while,  as  I  became  calmer,  he  said :  "  Lis- 
ten Yvonne,  I  will  tell  you  the  rest." 

I  sat  up  straighter  and  wiped  my  eyes,  regain- 
ing thus  the  freedom  of  my  hands,  for  I  knew  he 
could  not  hold  them  forever. 


RILLDALE  327 

"  The  funeral  was  in  New  York  five  days  ago. 
I  tried  several  times  on  the  following  days  to  see 
your  Cousin  Henry,  but  he  was  either  absent  from 
his  office  or  engaged.  At  last  this  morning  I  ob- 
tained an  interview;  it  was  not  altogether  a  pleas- 
ant one,  for  when  I  told  him  I  wished  to  ask  what 
news  he  had  of  you,  as  I  intended  writing  to  you, 
or  perhaps  running  over  to  Europe  for  a  few  days ; 
he  informed  me  it  was  impossible  to  communicate 
with  you  at  present;  that  he  had  received  a  very 
disturbing  piece  of  intelligence  concerning  you,  the 
nature  of  which  he  could  not  discuss  with  a 
stranger." 

"Oh,  what  an  odious  man  he  is!"  I  exclaimed 
with  indignation. 

"  He  was  very  much  excited  and  relentlessly  un- 
communicative. I  cabled  to  you,  and  decided  to 
await  your  answer  as  to  whether  you  would  like 
to  see  me  or  not." 

"  Oh,  how  good  you  are,  how  kind !  " 

"  I  was  keeping  my  promise.  Now  will  you  tell 
me  your  own  tale,  how  you  came  to  my  house  to- 
night?" 

"  I  arrived  by  the  last  train  to  Lenox." 

"  I  was  on  that  train." 

"  Yes,  I  only  saw  you  as  you  entered  your  car- 
riage, it  was  too  late  to  call  you.  When  at  the 
Lenox  station  I  was  told  my  grandmother  had 
died,  that  her  house  was  closed,  and  when  I  was 


328  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

asked  if  I  had  any  friend,  I  could  only  think  of  you. 
I  was  put  on  the  trolley  car,  and  then  left  at  the 
bottom  of  the  road,  with  the  light  of  your  house  to 
guide  me.  Oh,  it  was  terrible  walking  in  the  dark- 
ness and  in  the  storm,  and  when  the  light  went 
out,  I  thought  I  was  lost;  but  no,  the  good  God 
heard  my  prayer,  and  I  found  your  avenue,  and 
thus  I  came.  That  is  my  story." 

"  I  want  to  hear  more  of  your  future  plans, 
but  we  shall  wait  till  to-morrow ;  now  you  must 
rest." 

As  he  stopped  speaking,  in  the  silence,  a  clock 
in  the  hall  struck  the  hour;  we  listened,  I  counted 
twelve  strokes ;  we  looked  at  each  other. 

"  It  is  late,"  I  said. 

"  Yes,"  he  answered,  "  I  shall  make  a  fire  in 
one  of  the  rooms  upstairs,  for  the  house  is  very 
cold." 

"  Let  me  remain  here,"  I  said,  "  I  can  sleep  near 
this  beautiful  fire,  on  that  long  comfortable  sofa, 
thus  I  shall  give  no  trouble." 

He  reflected  a  moment.  "  Very  well,  stay  here ; 
I  will  get  blankets  and  pillows.  A  dressing  room 
is  next  door,  where  you  will  find  brushes,  soap,  all 
you  require.  May  I  ask  if  you  brought  nothing 
with  you  from  Europe  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  a  few  things,  in  a  bag  I  left  under  a 
big  tree  by  the  bridge.  I  was  too  weary  to  carry 


RILLDALE  329 

it  further,  my  rug  covers  it,  it  may  not  be  quite 
spoilt." 

"  To-morrow  we  shall  hunt  it  up,"  he  said,  and 
left  the  room. 

I  found  all  I  needed  in  the  dressing-room ;  it  re- 
freshed me  washing  my  tear-stained  face.  I 
braided  my  hair  in  two  long  plaits,  and  when  he 
returned  he  found  me  on  the  sofa. 

He  arranged  the  pillows  beneath  my  head,  cov- 
ered me  with  the  blankets  as  carefully  as  a  woman 
might  have  done.  And  after  putting  two  enormous 
logs  on  the  fire,  he  looked  down  at  me  a  moment. 
I  gave  him  my  hand:  "Good-night,"  I  said,  "I 
know  not  how  to  thank  you !  for  had  you  not  taken 
me  in,  I  certainly  should  have  died  in  the  storm," 
and  very  shyly  I  added :  "  May  I  call  you,  my 
Friend,  now  and  for  always  ?  " 

He  did  not  answer  me  at  once,  then  he  said :  "  I 
never  succeeded  in  being  a  woman's  friend;  with 
a  child  it  may  be  different.  Good-night." 

He  left  the  room,  I  not  knowing  how  to  inter- 
pret his  words;  all  the  tenderness  he  had  shown 
me  had  gone  from  his  voice ;  I  felt  chilled  and  dis- 
tressed. 

I  lay  a  long  time  with  my  eyes  wide  open,  star- 
ing at  the  firelight ;  the  long  red  and  yellow  flames 
flashed  brightly  and  lost  themselves  up  the  big 
chimney.  I  could  hear  the  wind  sweep  round  the 


330  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

house.  I  was  in  safety,  and  yet  all  alone  in  the 
world ;  the  uncertainty  of  the  words  "  serious,  not 
dangerous  "  had  resolved  themselves  in  the  knowl- 
edge of  my  great  loss. 

Nobody  cared  now  what  happened  to  me! 
Why  would  he  not  call  himself  my  friend?  Did 
he  mean  he  liked  me  not  as  a  woman,  but  only  as  a 
child? 

I  looked  around  the  great  room  filled  with  fan- 
tastic shadows.  The  room  I  had  entered  so  cheer- 
fully when  the  roses  bloomed  in  summer,  into  which 
to-night  I  had  been  driven  by  the  storm,  in  de- 
spair seeking  a  refuge.  On  the  next  day  no  doubt 
I  must  leave.  Should  I  ever  come  back  again? 

Feverish,  with  images  of  all  sorts  chasing  through 
my  brain,  I  know  not  how  long  it  was  before  I  fell 
asleep. 


XXXII 

OCTOBER  nth  continued —  I  awoke  with 
the  sound  of  low  voices  talking  in  the  room. 
At  first  I  thought  I  lay  in  my  berth  on  the  steamer, 
and  then  I  suddenly  realized  where  I  was. 

The  sun  was  shining  brightly;  I  saw  Mr.  Dale 
speaking  to  a  young  girl.  I  wondered  who  she  was. 
They  stood  in  the  window ;  I  noticed  her  hair  was 
the  color  of  flax. 

As  I  moved,  they  turned  round,  and  I  recognized 
Anna  Engel.  She  came  forward  quickly,  and  we 
kissed  each  other. 

"  How  well  you  look !  "  was  the  first  thing  I  said, 
for  in  truth  she  no  longer  appeared  like  the  poor 
consumptive  girl  in  the  hospital. 

" Ach  liebes  Fraiilein!"  she  exclaimed,  "it  is 
owing  to  you  and  Mr.  Dale  that  I  am  alive;  you 
are  my  two  benefactors,  and  in  my  prayers  your 
names  are  always  united  on  my  lips." 

I  know  not  why,  but  I  blushed,  and  I  felt  very 
shy  when  Mr.  Dale  wished  me  good-morning. 

"  You  have  slept  nearly  twelve  hours,"  he  said. 
"I  hope  you  feel  rested;  a  room  is  prepared  for 
you  upstairs,  and  Fraiilein  Engel  will  show  you 

33i 


332  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

the  way.  Your  clothes  have  been  pressed;  I  found 
your  bag;  the  rug  preserved  it  from  utter  ruin,  but 
your  hat  has  vanished." 

I  thanked  him  for  the  trouble  he  had  taken,  and 
Anna  Engel  and  I  went  upstairs.  A  charming  bed- 
room, with  a  fire  brightly  burning  was  prepared  for 
me.  Also  a  cup  of  tea. 

"  How  pretty  this  is !  "  I  said,  and  went  to  the 
window  which  overlooked  the  terrace  and  the  woods 
beyond.  It  resembled  not  the  scene  of  last  night; 
everything  was  lit  by  the  sun  making  the  whole 
earth  shining  and  happy;  and  my  anxious  feelings 
were  replaced  by  a  sensation  of  sadness  full  of 
resignation. 

Anna  and  I  talked  for  some  time;  she  was  very 
sweet  and  sympathetic  about  my  dear  grandmother ; 
as  much  so,  as  if  she  had  also  loved  her;  her  grati- 
tude to  me  is  very  touching,  for  it  was  simply  a 
lucky  chance  on  my  part  that  I  had  helped  her, 
with  no  trouble  to  myself.  I  told  her  how  much 
influence  her  own  story  had  had  upon  my  resolve 
to  come  alone  to  America.  Thus  one  person's  ex- 
perience seems  to  be  a  link  in  the  chain  of  all  human 
experiences  —  bound  together  and  endlessly  revolv- 
ing. 

She  expresses  the  greatest  reverence  for  Mr.  Dale 
and  cites  of  him  all  sorts  of  acts  of  kindness.  She 
leaves  the  Home  in  a  little  while  to  achieve  her 
complete  recovery  at  San  Moritz,  where  Mr.  Dale 


RILLDALE  333 

lias  arranged  that  she  shall  go  with  Mrs.  Lacy  to  be 
the  governess  of  her  two  little  children. 

I  like  to  think  that,  although  he  seems  hard,  and 
brusque,  and  cynical  at  times,  he  possesses  all  this 
great  thought  fulness  and  goodness,  which  must  be 
Ijis  real  nature. 

Anna  Engel  left  me  while  I  dressed.  It  was  de- 
licious taking  a  warm  bath  in  the  white  tiled  bath- 
room. I  am  ashamed  to  love  so  all  the  luxuries 
of  existence,  and  after  the  squalor  of  the  ship  they 
seemed  to  me  more  enviable  than  ever.  My  clothes 
were  miraculously  restored  to  a  decent  appearance. 
I  look  rather  pale,  and  feel  full  of  lassitude,  which 
is  but  natural. 

Having  some  time  to  wait  before  lunch,  I  wrote 
the  experiences  of  yesterday  in  my  diary;  then  the 
gong  sounded  and  I  descended. 

Mr.  Dale  and  Anna  awaited  me  in  the  library, 
where  a  little  table  was  set  for  us  in  the  big  window. 
I  was  silent,  and  they  spared  me  the  effort  of  con- 
versation. Mr.  Dale  said  that  Anna  would  remain 
with  me  here  in  the  house,  and  he  spoke  not  fur- 
ther of  my  future. 

After  lunch  he  invited  me  to  go  to  drive  with 
him,  which  I  willingly  accepted.  I  wore  a  fur 
coat  of  his,  and  having  no  hat,  I  bound  a  blue 
scarf  round  my  head.  He  said  it  mattered  not, 
as  we  should  avoid  the  village  and  frequented  roads. 

We  drove  in  a  phaeton  with  two  horses;  he  con- 


334  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ducted  himself;  we  went  so  quick,  so  quick,  that  it 
was  an  excitement  and  a  pleasure. 

The  air  was  wonderfully  fresh  and  sparkling,  and 
the  mountains  looked  blue.  He  told  me  that  the 
brilliant  foliage  had  been  blown  off  by  last  night's 
storm,  but  many  yellow  and  red  leaves  were  left  in 
protected  valleys  which  gave  me  a  proof  of  the 
beautiful  carnation  the  trees  of  America  wear  in 
Autumn. 

When  I  thought  of  my  grandmother,  the  tears 
would  rush  to  my  eyes,  but  at  the  same  time  I 
felt  a  quiet  joy  to  be  alone  with  him,  and  yet  a 
feeling  of  great  timidity  possessed  me  also.  He 
questioned  me  about  my  life  in  Germany,  in  the 
castle,  and  said  he  was  sorry  for  me  to  have  been 
subjected  to  a  woman  like  Fraiilein.  I  spoke  of 
my  Latin  lessons  with  Candidat  Hasemann,  which 
had  been  transformed  into  philosophy  and  ended 
rather  unfortunately.  Then  I  told  him  of  my  first 
quarrel  with  my  mother,  how  she  wished  me  to 
marry  an  Austrian  nobleman. 

Mr.  Dale  looked  at  me  curiously  when  I  said  this. 

"  I  fancied  from  something  my  nephew  Bobby 
told  me,  that  you  were  already  engaged." 

"  Oh,"  I  said  consternated,  "  what  has  Bobby 
told  you?" 

"  Bobby  informed  me  he  had  asked  you  to  marry 
him  when  you  were  together  at  Bar  Harbor ;  you 
refused  because  you  were  already  engaged;  he  said 


RILLDALE  335 

to  me :  '  You  know,  Uncle  Herbert,  all  the  men 
are  crazy  about  her;  a  foreign  prince  was  running 
after  her,  an  idiotic  middle-aged  cousin  was  evi- 
dently dotty  about  her,  and  even  an  old  chap  like 
you  would  think  she  was  the  most  attractive  girl 
in  the  world,' —  Bobby  shows  occasionally  some 
discernment." 

This  Mr.  Dale  said  smilingly,  then  he  added  in 
quite  a  different  tone :  "  Your  grandmother,  as  I 
hinted  to  you  last  night,  was  ignorant  of  your  en- 
gagement, or  else  I  hardly  think  she  would  have  con- 
sidered it  natural  for  you  to  want  to  turn  to  me  in 
your  trouble.  I  promised,  however,  to  do  what  I 
could ;  but  I  do  not  know  if  in  the  future  my  services 
can  be  acceptable  to  you  or  not." 

Oh !  what  difficult  situation  was  mine !  He  who 
had  been  disappointed  by  a  young  girl  —  and  ren- 
dered cynical  thereby,  how  would  he  understand  that 
I  also  could  so  easily  break  my  engagement.  Es- 
pecially, Romola  being  my  cousin,  he  would  con- 
sider it  a  family  resemblance,  just  as  our  noses  and 
eyes  are  alike! 

I  looked  all  around  me;  we  were  driving  on  the 
top  of  a  high  hill,  the  beautiful  country  displayed 
before  us  on  all  sides,  and  distant  mountains  over 
which  the  sun  was  gradually  descending;  no  cloud 
in  the  sky.  I  turned  and  looked  at  him.  He  was 
watching  his  horses;  his  face  was  in  profile,  clear 
cut,  with  a  firm,  decided  chin.  Oh!  how  I  wished 


336  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

to  have  him  like  me,  and  approve  of  me,  not  con- 
sider me  a  child,  but  a  woman.  I  understood  also 
now  his  refusal  of  friendship. 

"  Mr.  Dale,"  I  said  speaking  with  much  hesita- 
tion, "  it  is  very  difficult  for  me  to  explain  to  you 
the  circumstances  of  my  engagement." 

"  I  have  asked  for  no  explanation,"  he  said  coldly. 

"  Do  you  not  wish  to  hear?  "  I  asked  timidly. 

He  turned  and  looked  at  me,  and  I  looked  up 
imploringly  into  his  eyes,  "  I  want  you  not  to  think 
badly  of  me,"  I  said. 

His  expression  became  softer  with  the  kind 
look  I  love  so  much.  "  I  can  not  think  badly  of 
you,  no  matter  what  you  say  or  do,  you  strange, 
adorable  child." 

A  little  reassured,  I  began :  "  You  see  when  I 
came  to  America  in  June  for  the  first  time,  I  had 
never  talked  to  a  young  man,  except  to  Bobby 
on  the  ship,  but  then  he  is  only  a  boy !  So  at  West 
Point  it  was  my  first  experience.  An  officer  took 
interest  in  me,  and  gave  me  history  lessons.  Do 
you  know,  Mr.  Dale,  I  think  it  is  not  wise  to  let 
young  men  give  young  girls  lessons.  I  know  not 
why,  but  it  renders  the  teachers  very  impression- 
able." 

"  Even  the  Latin  masters,"  he  said  laughingly. 

I  blushed  and  went  on  — "  So  because  I  knew 
so  little  of  life,  and  because  also  this  young  officer 
was  very  nice,  and  wore  the  American  uniform, 


RILLDALE  337 

I  thought  it  a  thing  all  natural,  when  he  said  he 
loved  me  —  to  become  affianced  to  him.  It  deso- 
lated me,  later  on,  to  break  my  engagement,  for  I 
am  afraid  it  hurt  him,  although  he  was  never  bitter, 
and  was  not  rendered  cynical;  he  only  looked  very 
sad  when  I  told  him  he  must  surely  think  it  wrong 
to  be  espoused  without  my  loving  him.  Do  you 
not  think  I  was  right?  " 

"  Oh,  Yvonne !  "  he  answered,  speaking  more  im- 
pulsively than  I  had  ever  heard  him,  "  I  can  not 
be  your  judge;  you  are  the  most  beguiling  creature 
I  have  ever  seen.  I  am  sorry  for  the  poor  devil. 
He  is  no  doubt  a  brave  man ;  I  congratulate  him 
at  not  being  cynical.  I  doubt  if  in  his  case  I  should 
behave  so  well." 

Oh !  I  wanted  so  much  then  to  ask  him  again 
if  he  would  be  my  Friend :  I  need  a  friend  so  much, 
but  I  did  not  dare. 

For  a  time  we  were  silent,  then  he  questioned 
me  about  my  voyage  on  the  ocean.  I  told  him 
about  Herr  Meyerbaum  and  the  Troupe. 

When  I  had  finished,  he  said :  "  I  do  not  like 
at  all  the  idea  of  your  associating  with  all  those 
people." 

"  Oh,  but  Mr.  Dale,  they  were  very  kind  to  me ; 
and  do  you  not  think  that  true  nobility  consists 
in  not  being  dependent  on  other  people ;  think  you 
not,  that  it  is  well  to  earn  one's  own  living?  " 

"  I  agree  with  you  there,  I  respect  workers  of  all 

22 


338  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

kinds.  Typewriters,  stenographers,  teachers,  even 
factory  girls  are  a  far  higher  type  of  woman  than 
idle  society  girls  whose  only  interest  is  in  their  flirta- 
tions." 

His  saying  this  strengthened  me  in  my  resolu- 
tion to  seek  work. 

On  returning  to  the  house  I  lay  down,  as  I  felt 
much  fatigued.  Anna  Engel  sat  with  me  in  my 
room.  She  told  me  that  during  the  last  two 
months  Mr.  Dale  had  her  learn  typewriting ;  she  had 
done  work  for  him,  and  earned  quite  a  little  money ; 
on  her  telling  me  this,  I  asked  her  if  she  would 
lend  me  seven  dollars,  that  I  would  repay  her  in 
a  week  or  two.  I  mean  to  go  to  New  York  and 
seek  employment;  this  I  did  not  tell  her.  She  was 
so  pleased  that  I  should  ask  of  her  anything,  and 
offered  me  more ;  but  that  will  suffice  as  I  only  need 
enough  to  get  to  the  city.  Unfortunately  I  forgot 
the  cheque  book  at  Wildesheim,  my  grandmother 
had  given  me.  I  know  nothing  about  money  af- 
fairs, but  I  certainly  can  earn  enough  to  support 
myself. 

Anna  Engel  has  also  lent  me  a  hat;  I  divine  it  is 
her  very  best,  but  it  is  very  ugly. 

We  dined  again  in  the  library,  and  soon  after 
dinner  Anna  Engel  went  up  to  her  room:  she  is 
very  discreet. 

Mr.  Dale  and  I  sat  before  the  fire.  It  was  so 
intimate,  so  delicious,  I  wished  it  could  always  be 


RILLDALE  339 

thus;  but  my  thoughts  were  rudely  dispersed  by 
his  first  words. 

"  We  must  talk  a  little  about  your  future  plans. 
I  have  sent  a  cable  to  your  mother,  to  reassure  her ; 
for  she  must  have  suffered  great  anxiety  concern- 
ing you." 

"  She  has  suffered  principally  because  she  thinks 
I  disgraced  the  family  and  have  ruined  the  pros- 
pects of  a  high  alliance  for  my  sister  Wilhelmine." 

"  How  old  is  Wilhelmine?  " 

"  Only  ten,  but  my  mother  has  plans  for  her 
future." 

"  I  think  your  mother  will  no  doubt  send  for 
you." 

"  Oh !  "  I  exclaimed,  "  it  would  be  the  most  hor- 
rible thing  to  return.  How  can  you  be  so  cruel  as 
to  suggest  it  ?  " 

"  Surely  a  young  girl  of  eighteen  can  not  run 
away  from  home  and  expect  to  be  allowed  to  wan- 
der about  at  her  will.  I  have  telegraphed  to  your 
Cousin  Henry.  I  am  going  to  New  York  to-mor- 
row, I  shall  see  him.  He  will  very  likely  return 
with  me.  You  can  remain  here  with  Anna  Engel 
for  the  next  two  or  three  days;  then  I  think  the 
most  suitable  place  for  you  to  await  your  mother's 
orders  will  be  with  your  Cousin  Carolina;  Henry 
Short  is  your  grandmother's  executor,  and  he  is, 
no  doubt,  your  trustee." 

I  stared  at  him  as  he  spoke,  with  my  eyes  wide 


340  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

open  with  horror.  I  rose  to  my  feet;  at  first  I 
could  not  find  my  breath  to  speak,  then  I  said,  in 
a  very  low  voice,  looking  down  at  him :  — 

"  You  want  to  torture  me ;  you  have  thought 
of  everything  that  would  be  the  most  terrible  for 
me.  I  would  never  have  believed  your  heart  could 
be  so  hard  and  unpitiful." 

"  My  dear  child,"  he  said,  and  rising  stood  in 
front  of  me,  "  I  am  profoundly  sorry  for  you ;  I 
wish  some  happier  plan  could  be  devised,  for  I  know 
you  have  no  great  fondness  for  your  cousins." 

"  I  hate  them !  "  I  muttered. 

"If  your  aunt,  Mrs.  King,  were  here,  you  would 
naturally  go  to  her  house,  but  she  and  Nancy  are 
abroad;  only  Mr.  King  and  Mischief  with  her  gov- 
erness are  in  town.  Besides  I  have  no  right  to 
decide  what  you  shall  do,  whereas  your  Cousin 
Henry  has  the  right.  You  must  be  patient,  and 
things  won't  appear  quite  so  bad." 

I  was  trying  very  hard  to  control  myself;  it  is 
a  dreadful  sensation  to  be  on  the  verge  of  cry- 
ing at  a  moment  when  you  want  to  appear  very 
strong;  I  felt  as  if  I  had  to  plead  to  save  myself 
from  an  awful  destiny. 

"  You  do  not  understand,"  I  said,  "  that  Cousin 
Carolina  likes  me  not  at  all,  she  has  always  thought 
badly  of  me,  now  she  will  think  worse  for  my  run- 
ning away  from  my  home.  Cousin  Henry  although 
he  approves  not  of  me,  likes  me  too  much,  that  is 


RILLDALE  341 

unendurable.  I  don't  know  how  they  will  treat  me 
if  I  return  to  Germany."  I  could  speak  no  more. 

"  Come,"  he  said,  "  don't  take  things  quite  so 
hard.  You  exaggerate  the  disapproval  of  your 
mother  and  your  cousins;  they  will  understand  you 
ran  away  to  reach  your  grandmother;  that  you  are 
sorrowing  for  her  now.  Promise  me  you  will  be 
a  good  child  — " 

His  saying  this  was  more  than  I  could  bear. 
Half  sobbing,  I  cried:  "I  am  not  a  child,  I  will 
not  stay  with  my  cousins,  I  will  not  go  back  to 
Germany.  Nobody  wants  me,  I  am  all  alone  in 
the  world,  and  I  am  very  unhappy !  "  I  leant  my 
head  against  the  mantelpiece,  and  I  wept  bitterly, 
very  bitterly;  nothing  was  heard  in  the  room  but 
my  sobs.  After  a  moment  Mr.  Dale  approached 
me  and  laid  his  hand  on  my  shoulder. 

"  Yvonne,  my  dear,  don't  misunderstand  me ; 
from  the  bottom  of  my  heart  I  am  sorry  for  you. 
I  want  to  do  all  I  can  to  help  you,  but  you  are 
very  young  — " 

"  Oh !  "  I  cried  raising  my  head  and  facing  him, 
the  tears  running  down  my  cheeks,  "  I  know  you 
treat  me  as  a  child,  but  I  am  not;  Anna  Engel 
at  my  age  gained  her  life,  I  made  nine  dollars  on 
the  ship,  so  I  am  capable  of  working." 

"  That  will  hardly  be  necessary  for  Mrs.  Carring- 
ton's  granddaughter,"  he  said  with  a  smile ;  a  smile 
apparently  at  my  childishness ;  it  was  intolerable. 


342  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"  I  can  not  bear,"  I  cried,  "  to  have  you  treat 
me  so;  you  mock  yourself  of  me;  you  and  Cousin 
Henry,  seeing  I  have  so  little  power  to  defend  my- 
self, want  to  force  me  to  follow  your  wills.  Ah ! 
if  you  knew  how  sad  it  was  to  lose  what  one  loves, 
to  have  every  one  think  badly  of  you;  that  because 
one  is  young  every  one  thinks  you  foolish!  You 
would  not  be  so  cruel.  I  thought  perhaps  on  ac- 
count of  your  promise  to  my  dear  grandmother 
you  at  least  would  try  to  be  kind  to  me;  but  no, 
you  even  refused  to  be  my  friend  — "  No  longer 
could  I  control  my  bitterness  and  sorrow,  and  sob- 
bing I  ran  out  of  the  door,  up  the  staircase,  into  my 
room. 

With  every  sort  of  emotion  and  despair  I  paced 
up  and  down  unceasingly.  After  a  long  time,  I  had 
to  rest  from  sheer  fatigue. 

To  calm  myself,  as  is  my  habit,  I  sat  down  and 
wrote  these  pages.  Midnight  is  striking  at  the  hall 
clock!  My  resolution  is  formed.  I  have  run 
away  once,  I  shall  run  away  again.  Nobody  shall 
know  where  I  have  gone.  I  have  only  to  sign  my 
engagement  with  Herr  Meyerbaum ;  thus  my  future 
is  assured.  I  shall  work,  I  shall  grow  old,  and 
some  day  Herbert  Dale  will  say :  "  I  was  mistaken, 
she  was  not  a  child." 


XXXIII 

OCTOBER  1 2th.  The  sun  streamed  into  my 
room  as  I  awoke.  Anna  Engel  stood  at 
the  foot  of  my  bed,  she  was  smiling.  "  You  look," 
she  said,  "  when  you  sleep,  like  a  little  girl  twelve 
years  old." 

"  I  am  nearly  as  old  as  you,"  I  said. 

"  Ach!  after  working  three  or  four  years  and  liv- 
ing among  strangers  one's  youth  disappears.  But 
here  is  a  letter  from  Mr.  Dale.  He  left  by  the  early 
morning  train." 

When  I  was  alone,  I  broke  the  seal  with  hasty 
fingers;  the  letter  was  dated  last  evening;  here  is 
what  he  wrote  — 

"Dear  Yvonne, — 

"I  hear  your  footsteps  pacing  the  floor  above  me ; 
to  know  that  you  are  agitated  and  unhappy  dis- 
tresses me  more  than  I  can  express,  more  no  doubt 
than  you  will  believe.  I  wish,  my  dear,  (the  word 
'  child  '  was  effaced)  that  instead  of  adding  to  your 
perplexities,  I  could  help  you  to  your  independence, 
for  this  apparently  is  your  chief  desire.  You 
call  me  cruel ;  it  is  the  last  thing  I  wish  to  be.  I 

343 


344  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

am  afraid  my  arguments  were  clumsy;  I  am  aware 
they  were  unconvincing,  but  perhaps  when  you 
realize  the  trust  placed  by  your  grandmother  in  Mr. 
Short,  in  making  him  the  executor  of  her  will,  for 
her  sake  you  may  wish  to  consult  him;  in  fact,  I 
have  no  right  to  any  decision.  You  misunderstood 
my  meaning  if  you  thought  I  refused  to  be  your 
friend.  Yes,  let  me  be  a  friend;  this  is  a  suitable 
position  for  a  man  who  is  twice  your  age;  and  yet 
this  title  and  also  what  must  seem  to  you  my  ad- 
vanced years,  do  not  enable  me  to  keep  you  under  my 
roof,  and  I  am  forced  to  seek  for  you  a  shelter  else- 
where. Therefore  I  beg  you  not  to  judge  me  too 
harshly,  if  I  am  constrained  to  act  the  part  of  a 
severe  mentor.  .  .  .  Your  restless  little  feet 
are  still  pacing  above  me,  betraying  the  state 
of  mind  which  I  have  provoked.  My  heart  aches 
to  comfort  you,  but  here  below  I  must  remain,  and 
I  must  also  remain  by  my  resolve  to  resign  my  care 
of  you  into  the  hands  of  your  cousin,  at  any  rate 
for  the  present.  Forgive  me  for  accomplishing 
my  distasteful  task. 

"  Yours  faithfully, 

"  HERBERT  DALE." 

How  can  I  describe  the  impression  his  letter  has 
produced !  His  style  appears  very  clear  and  yet 
I  do  not  understand  the  meaning  of  all  he  says. 
He  wants  me  not  to  think  him  unkind ;  his  idea 


RILLDALE  345 

of  friendship  seems  but  a  cold  one,  yet  if  his  heart 
ached  for  me,  then  he  has  some  warmth  of  feeling. 
One  thing  is  clear:  his  will  is  strong,  but  so  is 
mine,  and  Cousin  Henry  shall  not  be  my  ruler. 

A  train  leaves  Stockbridge  at  one  o'clock;  my 
preparations  to  depart  are  all  made.  I  told  Anna 
I  wished  to  lunch  early,  and  go  to  drive  immediately 
after.  She  has  to  spend  the'  afternoon  at  the  Home, 
for  some  treatment  she  is  taking.  It  is  a  cheerful 
place.  We  visited  there  this  morning,  and  all  the 
patients  speak  enthusiastically  of  Mr.  Dale.  It 
must  be  the  best  thing  in  the  world  to  be  rich,  so 
as  to  be  able  to  help  the  poor. 

I  am  writing  my  answer  to  Herbert  Dale : 

"  Dear  Mr.  Dale  — 

"  You  wrote  with  the  wish  to  pacify  me,  and  you 
try  to  be  kind,  but  in  the  same  way  that  your  reso- 
lution is  unchanged,  so  is  mine  the  same.  You 
say  you  have  no  right  over  me;  therefore  I  have 
no  reason  to  obey  you,  and  I  am  leaving  your 
house ;  for  I  understand  well  that  even  if  you  were 
my  friend  and  had  grey  hairs,  I  could  not  stay 
here  longer.  What  it  signifies  to  have  Cousin 
Henry  execute  my  grandmother's  will,  I  know  not, 
but  his  will  he  shall  not  execute  on  me :  for  he 
would  in  truth  be  my  executioner.  I  should  die 
if  I  lived  with  him  and  Cousin  Carolina!  I  am 
going  to  earn  my  own  life;  you  said  you  respected 


346  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

working  girls  the  most.  I  may  not  become  rich 
at  first,  that  matters  not,  but  I  will  prove  to  you 
that  I  am  not  a  child,  and  as  I  have  given  you 
and  other  people  much  trouble,  it  is  well  for  rne 
to  disappear,  and  cause  no  more  annoyances.  I 
am  fortunately  in  my  own  country,  thus  I  have 
nothing  to  fear  when  I  travel  alone,  and  this  in- 
spires me  with  courage  and  confidence  in  my  future. 
Good-bye,  dear  Mr.  Dale,  I  thank  you  for  letting 
me  stay  these  two  days  with  you;  notwithstanding 
my  great  sorrow,  I  shall  keep  of  them  a  good  re- 
membrance. Not  for  what  you  intend  to  do,  but 
for  what  you  have  already  done  in  the  past,  I  shall 
always  be 

"  Your  grateful, 

"  YVONNE." 

"  P.  S.  As  soon  as  I  have  earned  money,  I  shall 
send  you  the  ten  dollars  you  paid  for  me  and  An- 
gelique,  in  the  train  to  Newport,  the  first  time  I  saw 
you ;  for  I  wish  not  to  be  in  your  debt." 

To  Anna  Engel  I  wrote  a  few  lines  thanking  her 
for  the  seven  dollars,  which  I  should  soon  return, 
and  for  her  hat,  which  is  suitable  for  me  now  as  a 
working  girl.  I  told  her  I  was  going  to  New  York, 
and  not  to  be  disturbed  about  me  at  all,  and  that  her 
story  and  example  had  been  my  great  inspiration. 

For  the  last  time  I  look  out  over  the  distant  blue 
hills,  this  scene  I  have  so  quickly  grown  to  love. 


RILLDALE  347 

It  would  be  a  happy  fate  to  live  here  always,  but  I 
shall  never  see  it  again. 

I  have  lost  my  grandmother;  my  friends  all  dis- 
approve of  me ;  I  have  no  fortune ;  I  must  depend 
alone  upon  myself;  I  am  in  debt  of  seventeen  dol- 
lars, and  so  I  must  go  and  earn  my  bread.  Thou- 
sands of  other  young  girls  do  it,  so  why  not  I? 


NEW  YORK 


M** 


XXXIV 

OCTOBER  1 5th,— Fran  Goldstein's  Boarding 
House  —  Three  days  have  passed  since  I  last 
wrote,  and  I  must  begin  with  the  moment  I  left 
Stockbridge. 

It  was  very  easy  to  depart;  I  went  to  the  station 
all  naturally  without  any  one  questioning  me ;  I 
gave  the  coachman  the  note  for  Anna  Engel;  the 
one  for  Mr.  Dale  I  had  left  on  the  hall  table. 

It  was  dark  when  I  arrived  in  New  York ;  I  felt 
very  calm  and  independent,  as  a  young  girl  must, 
who  has  no  one  to  occupy  himself  with  her.  The 
red  capped  porters  rushed  at  me  when  the  train 
stopped,  for  my  costume  being  cut  in  the  last  fashion 
does  not  reveal  my  poverty,  but  I  refused  their 
assistance,  and  carried  my  bag  and  rug  alone.  I 
took  a  cab,  and  gave  the  address  of  Herr  Meyer- 
baum's  boarding  house,  near  the  docks  on  the  West 
side.  As  I  drove  through  the  streets,  I  thought 
how  they  symbolized  my  destiny ;  first  the  brilliancy 
of  the  quarter  of  the  rich,  with  illumined  shops 
offering  every  luxury  to  the  passerby,  then  the 
gloom  and  poverty  of  the  streets  entering  the  quar- 

35i 


352  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ter  of  the  workmen.  Would  my  courage  suffice  to 
confront  these  conditions?  But  I  cheered  myself 
by  remembering  that  the  Troupe  would  welcome  me 
as  a  friend. 

The  cab  stopped  before  a  house ;  every  door  step 
resembled  the  other  exactly,  and  I  wondered  if  peo- 
ple living  there  would  not  likewise  lose  their  own 
individuality. 

A  great  many  Jews  were  lounging  about,  who 
stared  at  me  curiously.  After  a  discussion  with  the 
cabman,  in  which  I  remained  firm,  I  paid  him  one 
dollar  and  a  half;  that  left  me  fifty  cents  as  only 
fortune. 

I  rang  the  bell.  After  a  long  interval  a  big  fat 
man  came  to  the  door  and  only  opened  it  a  crack : 
"  Vat  do  you  vant  ?  "  he  asked  with  a  strong  German 
accent. 

"  I  want  to  see  Herr  Meyerbaum  and  Frau 
Matrosi." 

"Frau  Hirsch!"  he  bellowed  with  all  his  lungs. 
"  Frau  Hirsch !  a  yunk  lady,  vants  Herr  Meyer- 
baum." 

"  Tell  her  he  is  not  here,"  screamed  a  woman's 
voice. 

My  heart  sank.  "  Please  ask  if  Frau  Hirsch 
knows  where  he  is,  and  the  ladies  and  gentlemen 
with  him,  for  they  belong  to  the  Frankfurt  Lust- 
spiel  Gcsellschaft"  I  tried  to  prevent  my  voice 
from  trembling. 


NEW  YORK  353 

The  question  was  roared  up  the  stairs;  the  man 
held  the  door  half  open  while  I  stood  outside. 

"  Der  vas  no  blace  for  dem  here,  I  send  dem  to 
Frau  Goldstein  boarding  house."  Frau  Hirsch 
gave  the  address. 

"  Is  it  far  from  here?  "  I  asked. 

"  Ach  ne'ml "  said  the  fat  man.  "  You  take  first 
street  links,  go  five  blocks,  turn  r edits,  three  houses, 
you  find  all  right,"  and  he  closed  the  door  in  my 
face. 

Several  people  were  staring  at  me,  but  remem- 
bering Evelyn's  advice  in  the  poor  quarter  of  Boston, 
to  walk  quickly  without  looking  about,  I  started  off 
to  follow  the  fat  man's  directions. 

I  discovered  the  number  of  the  street ;  it  was 
very  difficult  to  read  it  on  the  top  of  a  lamp  post; 
I  passed  two  or  three  houses;  then  I  stopped  and 
asked  a  woman  for  Frau  Goldstein's  boarding- 
house  ;  she  pointed  to  a  house  close  by ;  one  mounted 
by  steep  brown  stone  steps,  half  of  which  were 
broken  and  split. 

I  rang  a  bell,  but  I  felt  as  I  pulled  it  that  the  wire 
was  dislocated  inside ;  I  waited  —  I  knocked  at  the 
door ;  there  was  no  response ;  so  I  turned  the  handle 
and  found  I  could  enter. 

There  was  a  staircase  straight  in  front  of  me, 
lit  by  a  little  oil  lamp.  On  either  side  of  the  en- 
trance were  two  closed  doors.  A  strong  odor  of 
sauerkraut  and  fried  salt  fish  pervaded  the  house; 
23 


354  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

a  smell  I  discovered  later  to  be  always  present.  I 
heard  voices  and  the  clatter  of  plates.  I  advanced 
along  the  narrow  corridor  and  found  that  the  smoke 
from  the  frying  fish,  and  the  voices  arose  from  be- 
low. The  stairs  descended  in  front  of  me,  so  I 
adventured  myself  to  do  down.  An  open  door 
showed  me  a  room  where  half  a  dozen  people  were 
eating.  I  looked  in  vain  for  Herr  Meyerbaum  and 
the  Troupe;  the  people  were  strangers  of  a  Jewish 
type;  they  stared  at  me  but  went  on  eating.  I 
turned  away;  opposite  me  was  the  kitchen.  A 
woman  stood  in  front  of  the  stove  with  the  greasi- 
est appearance  I  have  ever  seen;  she  was  frying 
something  which  exhaled  the  odor  of  burning  fat. 

"  Does  Frau  Goldstein  live  here?  "  I  asked.  The 
woman  paid  no  attention  to  me,  but  ladled  some  sort 
of  pancakes  into  a  dish  an  untidy  little  servant  held 
out  to  her. 

I  was  indignant  to  be  treated  so  impolitely,  and  I 
asked  again  imperiously :  "  Is  this  Frau  Goldstein's 
house?" 

"  Vat  do  you  vant  ?  "  said  the  woman.  "  I  am 
Frau  Goldstein." 

"  I  wish  to  see  Herr  Meyerbaum." 

"Herr  Meyerbaum?"  she  repeated,  "I  don't 
know  no  Herr  Meyerbaum." 

" Ach  Frau!"  said  the  servant  girl  in  German, 
"  that  is  the  fine  gentleman  who  left  the  sick  lady 
here  and  paid  for  her  in  advance." 


NEW  YORK  355 

"  Halt  dcin  Maul,"  said  the  woman  crossly,  and 
shoved  the  girl  out  of  the  room,  with  the  dish  of 
cakes.  "  Now  vat  do  you  vant  mit  Herr  Meyer- 
baum?  "  she  said  turning  to  me.  "  I  no  like  ladies 
to  come  ask  questions;  they  wants  to  know  if  my 
lodgers  sleep  one  in  a  room,  or  ten  in  a  room;  or 
how  long  my  servants  vorks;  I  mind  my  business 
and  I  vant — " 

"  Frau  Goldstein,"  I  interrupted  her  in  German, 
"I  have  come  to  join  Herr  Meyerbaum;  I  belong 
to  his  company." 

"  Ach  so!  veil  he  and  his  company  have  gone," 
she  said  in  English. 

I  felt  now  that  I  had  nowhere  to  turn  to;  then 
I  remembered  what  the  servant  had  said  about  the 
sick  lady,  and  I  asked  who  she  was. 

"  I  forgot  her  name,"  said  Frau  Goldstein. 
"  You  go  see  her  up  three  flights  back ;  I  busy 
now." 

Being  thus  dismissed,  and  in  absolute  uncertainty 
as  to  whom  I  should  find,  I  went  up  three  flights  of 
stairs.  Above  the  first  floor  the  house  was  unlit, 
and  I  had  to  feel  my  way.  Arrived  on  the  landing, 
I  listened ;  for  I  knew  not  which  room  it  might  be. 
I  heard  someone  cough  and  then  moan.  Seeing  a 
light  under  a  door,  I  took  courage  and  knocked. 

"  Herein! "  said  a  very  hoarse  voice. 

I  entered.  In  bed,  sitting  up,  with  a  green  cotton 
handkerchief  round  her  head,  and  the  red  satin 


356  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

jacket  I  knew  so  well,  sat  Frau  Matrosi  rubbing 
her  chest. 

"  Ach  mein  Gott!"  she  exclaimed.  "Die  Hebe 
Rosa!"  and  she  opened  her  arms  in  an  embrace, 
into  which  with  inexpressible  joy  and  relief  I  sank. 
After  the  first  demonstrations  of  mutual  pleasure  at 
meeting,  I  sat  down  by  the  bed,  and  answered  her 
question  as  to  how  I  had  so  unexpectedly  arrived ; 
I  told  her  of  the  death  of  my  grandmother,  and  that 
I  had  come  to  sign  my  engagement  with  Herr  Mey- 
erbaum,  as  I  intended  to  work  with  the  Troupe. 

She  sighed  heavily  on  hearing  this,  and  told  me 
Herr  Meyerbaum  and  the  rest  of  the  company  had 
left  yesterday  for  Trenton,  New  Jersey;  that  she 
had  caught  a  heavy  cold ;  bronchitis  it  must  be,  and 
was  unable  to  accompany  them;  she  would  rejoin 
them  when  she  was  better,  "  but  ach!  Himmel!  I 
am  not  better;  I  am  much  worse;  I  have  a  terrible 
cough,  and  pains  everywhere.  I  have  no  one  who 
takes  care  of  me ;  I  shall  die  in  a  strange  land,  and 
Herr  Matrosi  and  my  little  boys  will  not  even  see 
my  corpse."  She  began  to  weep,  which  made  her 
cough  violently. 

"  Dear  Frau  Matrosi,"  I  said,  "  I  will  take  care 
of  you,  and  you  will  soon  be  well." 

"  Do  not  leave  me,  dearest  Rosa,"  she  said,  cling- 
ing to  my  hands.  "  Two  days  I  have  been  alone ; 
the  maid  brought  me  a  little  to  eat  for  dinner,  but 
never  since,  all  the  afternoon  has  any  one  been 


NEW  YORK  357 

near  me.  It  is  a  dreadful  place;  they  are  Jews, 
and  the  first  house  we  went  to  were  Jews;  and 
when  we  walked  about  the  streets  looking  for  rooms, 
the  big  American  rain  drops  wet  us  to  the  bone; 
and  everywhere,  Jews!  Achl  I  think  New  York 
ought  to  be  called  New  Jerusalem." 

I  sympathized  with  her,  and  tidied  her  room,  and 
then  said :  "  I  shall  go  down  stairs  to  get  supper 
for  us  both." 

With  my  most  imposing  manner,  I  confronted 
Frau  Goldstein.  I  told  her  I  was  a  friend  of  Frau 
Matrosi,  and  was  going  to  stay  and  take  care  of 
her. 

I  carried  some  thick  looking  soup  and  bread  up- 
stairs. Frau  Matrosi  was  thankful  for  the  slightest 
thing  I  did  for  her.  A  sort  of  closet,  fortunately 
with  a  tiny  window  in  the  ceiling,  was  arranged 
for  me,  with  a  cot  bed.  My  rug  served  as  blanket. 
After  all  my  anxiety  of  that  evening,  and  the  fear  of 
being  abandoned  all  alone  in  New  York,  this  seemed 
like  a  haven  of  salvation,  and  weary  with  extreme 
fatigue,  I  was  not  long  in  falling  asleep. 

Next  morning,  Frau  Matrosi  and  I  talked  over 
our  situation.  She  told  me  she  had  written  to  Herr 
Meyerbaum,  a  few  hours  before  I  came,  to  say  she 
was  dying.  A  letter  arrived  when  I  was  down- 
stairs from  Herr  Ludwig,  who  not  knowing  Frau 
Matrosi  was  worse,  sent  her  three  dollars  to  pay  her 
way  to  Trenton,  where  she  was  to  join  the  Troupe 


358  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

at  once.  They  had  engaged  an  ingenue;  "  she  is 
about  fifty,"  wrote  Herr  Ludwig;  "  she  sings  three 
notes  and  dances  two  steps ;  she  flatters  Herr  Meyer- 
baum  and  Alfons.  Her  hair  is  blond;  the  gentle- 
men like  her,  but  Malvina  does  not.  Come  at  once, 
as  we  have  an  engagement  in  another  town ;  our  re- 
ceipts are  very  small." 

Frau  Matrosi  lamented  over  this  letter;  she  was 
quite  unable  to  move ;  as  for  me,  my  chance  to  work 
with  the  Troupe,  which  I  had  counted  on,  had  gone. 
I  told  Frau  Matrosi  that  I  must  try  and  find  some 
kind  of  work. 

" Ach  was!"  said  Frau  Matrosi,  "then  your 
grandmother  left  no  property." 

"  Oh,  yes/'  I  said,  "  but  I  know  nothing  about 
it,  and  being  a  minor,  I  shall  have  to  wait  nearly 
three  years  to  inherit." 

"Ach!"  said  Frau  Matrosi,  "  American  laws  are 
no  doubt  strange,  but  she  might  have  left  you  furni- 
ture or  clothes.  Did  you  find  nothing?  Did  you 
look  in  her  mattress?  " 

"  No,  I  did  not  inquire,"  I  said. 

"  Rosa,  Rosa,  that  was  not  clever  of  you ;  you 
have  probably  been  robbed.  When  one's  relations 
die,  it  is  the  first  question  one  asks:  what  does  one 
inherit?  You  must  write  to  her  pastor." 

"  I  can  do  nothing  at  present,  dear  Frau  Matrosi ; 
I  cannot  explain  to  you  my  circumstances ;  I  simply 
must  earn  my  bread,  for  I  only  possess  fifty  cents." 


NEW  YORK  359 

" Ach  was!  fifty  cents!  that  is  nothing.  The 
pension  here  costs  eight  dollars  a  week ;  mine  is  paid 
till  to-day,  that  is  all ;  and  here  are  three  dollars ; 
they  will  not  be  enough  for  us  two,  for  even  two 
days.  I  who  thought  to  become  rich  in  America, 
and  to  return  with  a  lot  of  money  and  buy  a  velvet 
smoking  coat  for  Herr  Matrosi,  and  give  a  noble 
education  to  my  little  boys,  and  have  a  sofa  where 
my  guests  could  have  the  place  of  honor  on  my 
right.  Ach!  instead  I  perish  in  a  Jew  boarding 
house,  with  Jew  food;  I  who  am  a  German  Chris- 
tian, with  a  German  Christian  appetite." 

"  You  will  get  well,"  I  said  as  cheerfully  as  pos- 
sible, "  and  I  shall  go  out  to-day  and  find  work." 

"  What  can  you  do  ?  Can  you  cook,  can  you 
sew,  can  you  wash  and  iron?" 

"  No,"  I  said  shaking  my  head. 

"  How  were  you  brought  up  then  ?  I  see  by 
your  delicate  white  hands  you  are  incapable  of 
work." 

"  I  was  brought  up,"  I  said  bitterly,  "  to  be  per- 
fectly useless;  but  I  know  languages,  perhaps  I  can 
teach.  I  have  a  friend  who  at  my  age  earned  thus 
her  living." 

"  You  can  try,"  said  Frau  Matrosi  doubtfully, 
"  but  forgive  me  for  saying  it,  your  parents  brought 
you  up  foolishly.  I  have  seen  other  young  girls, 
because  they  could  not  use  the  ten  fingers  the  good 
God  had  given  them,  go  to  perdition.  Teaching  is 


360  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

an  ungrateful  task,  for  you  have  to  force  children 
to  be  less  stupid  than  they  were  intended  to  be,  and 
they  are  very  rebellious  against  instruction." 

My  future  was  dark,  and  I  felt  no  longer  as  if 
to  earn  my  living  were  so  easy. 

It  was  Saturday  afternoon ;  it  was  cold  and  rainy ; 
I  walked  on  Eighth  Avenue,  for  there  are  many 
employment  offices  there.  I  entered  several.  Oh ! 
they  were  dreadful  places;  filled  with  people  stand- 
ing apparently  for  hours,  waiting  for  employers, 
like  cattle  in  a  market.  My  courage  gave  out.  I 
could  not  join  that  horde.  I  passed  some  hat  shops, 
and  inquired  if  they  needed  any  one  to  work.  In 
two  shops  they  brusquely  told  me  no  one  was 
wanted;  in  a  third  they  asked  me  a  few  questions 
as  to  former  experience;  I  having  had  none,  they 
dismissed  me.  How  do  young  girls  acquire  their 
first  position? 

When  I  came  back,  I  found  Frau  Goldstein  had 
demanded  advance  payment  from  Frau  Matrosi  for 
her  board  and  mine.  Thus  the  three  dollars  were 
spent. 

Sunday,  I  walked  about  a  little  to  get  fresh  air, 
and  reflect  over  my  sad  fate.  I  decided  to  sell  my 
tortoise  shell  brushes.  Thus  Monday  morning, — 
that  is  to-day, —  I  started  for  the  richer  part  of  the 
city,  and  went  to  a  shop  where  they  sold  articles  of 
luxury.  I  offered  my  brushes,  knowing  they  were 


NEW  YORK  361 

one  hundred  francs  apiece,  for  thirty  dollars  for 
the  three,  just  half  their  value. 

The  salesman  laughed  at  me,  and  showed  them  to 
another  man ;  they  both  laughed,  and  said  they  made 
no  such  trades,  I  had  better  take  them  to  a  pawn- 
broker. 

Flushed  with  mortification,  holding  my  head  very 
high,  I  left  the  shop.  I  could  have  cried  from  dis- 
appointment ;  for  I  had  promised  Frau  Matrosi  to 
bring  her  back  plenty  of  money. 

I  returned  to  my  poor  quarter,  realizing  that  fine 
shops  sold  but  would  not  buy.  I  passed  a  pawn- 
broker, Isaac  Levi,  by  name.  I  entered  and  asked 
what  he  would  pawn  my  brushes  for.  He  looked 
them  over,  then  looked  at  me. 

"  One  dollar,"  he  said. 

"  Oh,  no,"  I  cried,  "  they  are  worth  sixty  dol- 
lars." 

"  I  haf  no  use  for  such  dings,"  he  said;  "  I  vould 
buy  your  tress,  that  I  could  sell,  but  prushes,  I 
haf  no  customers  for  prushes  like  dese." 

I  turned  away. 

"Say,  I  give  you  tree  dollars;  I  be  generous  if 
you  pring  me  oder  dings." 

I  nodded  in  acquiescence,  and  exchanged  my 
brushes  for  three  dollars  and  a  pawn  ticket. 

A  woman  entered  the  shop  with  a  baby  in  her 
arms,  a  little  child  following  her;  she  looked  so 


362  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

weak  as  if  she  could  not  stand.  I  watched  as  she 
offered  a  ring  to  be  pawned ;  her  wedding  ring,  she 
said,  and  after  much  discussion  she  got  twenty- 
five  cents  for  it. 

She  staggered  as  she  left  the  shop. 

"  Here  is  your  pawn  ticket,"  called  out  Isaac 
Levi. 

"  I  will  give  it  to  her,"  I  said  and  ran  after  her. 

She  leant  against  the  wall,  coughing  as  I  had 
never  heard  any  one  cough.  I  feared  she  would 
drop  the  baby,  and  I  offered  to  take  it;  she  opened 
her  arm  and  the  baby  slid  into  mine;  it  hardly 
weighed  anything,  and  seemed  half  inanimate. 

The  older  child  cried :      "  I  am  hungry !  " 

The  woman  recovered  from  her  coughing  attack, 
and  started  off  again,  I  following  with  the  baby. 
She  stopped  at  a  shop,  and  bought  bread  and  a  bottle 
of  milk,  and  some  tea. 

Further  on  she  entered  a  house,  and  we  ascended 
a  dark  flight  of  stairs;  we  went  into  a  room  where 
I  first  saw  nothing,  it  was  so  dark;  the  only  light 
came  from  a  window  over  a  door. 

"  What  did  you  get  for  it,  Jeannie  ?  "  asked  a  man 
who  I  discovered  lay  in  bed. 

"  A  quarter ;  not  enough  to  buy  coal.  I  '11  get 
hot  water  next  door  and  make  tea." 

"  Who  is  the  young  lady  ?  "  asked  the  man. 

I  spoke :  "  I  carried  the  baby  for  your  wife ; 
shall  I  give  it  to  you  ?  " 


NEW  YORK  363 

"  Yes,  Miss,  give  me  the  poor  wee  thing." 

I  laid  the  baby  beside  him.  "  I  am  afraid  you 
are  ill?  "  I  said,  "  and  your  wife  has  a  bad  cold." 

"  We  are  all  ill,"  said  the  woman,  "  and  it 's  more 
than  a  cold  I  've  got." 

"  Please,"  I  said,  "  will  you  let  me  give  you  this 
dollar  for  some  coal  ?  I  wish  I  could  help  you  more, 
but  I  am  not  rich." 

"  Who  are  you?  "  said  the  man. 

"  I  live  not  far  from  here ;  I  am  called  Rosa 
Schmidt,  and  as  soon  as  I  find  work,  I  may  be  able 
to  help  you  a  little.  And  what  is  your  name?" 

"  Alexander  McGreggor.  I  am  ill  now  going  on 
three  months;  my  wife  has  lung  trouble;  this  wee 
baby  is  sickly  from  her  birth.  Ah,  yes !  Miss,  we 
are  badly  off  just  now,  but  you  are  welcome  to  come 
back,  help  or  no  help." 

I  left  oppressed  by  the  sight  of  such  misery,  and 
determined  to  sell  one  of  my  pearls  if  I  could  not 
find  work,  although  that  would  be  breaking  my 
resolve  to  earn  my  own  bread.  I  bought  a  news- 
paper to  look  up  advertisements  for  teachers  or  gov- 
ernesses. I  call  myself  Rosa  Schmidt  as  Frau  Ma- 
trosi  believes  that  to  be  my  name,  and  I  wish  not 
my  rich  friends  to  discover  me.  Would  they  not 
force  me  to  live  with  Cousin  Henry  and  Cousin 
Carolina,  or  return  to  Germany?  Rather  will  I 
suffer  any  misery.  And  thus  I  have  lived  my  first 
three  days  as  a  working  girl,  without  work! 


XXXV 

OCTOBER  1 8th.  Two  days  more  I  have  wan- 
dered about  looking  for  occupation  in  shops 
and  employment  bureaus ;  the  declaration  I  had  made 
to  Mr.  Dale  to  earn  my  life  was  the  only  thing  that 
kept  up  my  courage ;  I  am  resolved  to  prove  I  am 
not  a  child  as  he  thinks,  but  oh !  it  seems  impossible 
for  me  to  find  work,  and  I  wonder  what  is  the  use 
of  so  careful  an  education  if  I  can  put  it  to  no 
profit. 

When  I  demand  a  place  of  governess,  these  are 
the  species  of  questions  I  am  asked : 

"  Have  you  any  references?  " 

"  No,  but  I  speak  French,  German,  Italian ;  I  play 
on  the  piano." 

"  Let  us  see  your  school  and  college  certificates." 

"  I  have  none,  I  was  brought  up  at  home." 

"  At  least  you  must  have  credentials  as  to  your 
moral  character." 

And  when  I  again  say  I  have  nothing  to  prove 
my  respectability,  then  I  am  dismissed.  Oh,  what 
a  difficult  problem  I  have  to  solve.  I  knew  not 
how  little  experience  I  had  of  life.  Just  to  be  in 
America,  I  thought,  would  make  everything  easy, 
but  I  discover  that  even  in  my  dear  country,  one 

364 


NEW  YORK  365 

cannot  freely  labor,  without  severe  certificates,  and 
I  am  astonished  in  New  York  to  find  that  all  the 
inferior  classes  are  composed  of  foreigners.  If  I 
called  myself  an  American,  I  should  then  be  the 
only  one  of  my  nation,  for  the  people  I  encounter 
in  offices  come  from  every  part  of  the  world.  Ev- 
erything seems  to  me  very  strange  and  perplexing! 

At  last  I  have  succumbed  and  sold  a  pearl,  and 
thus  acknowledged  to  myself  my  own  incapacity.  I 
feel  deeply  humiliated! 

I  came  home  yesterday  cold  and  tired,  and  hungry, 
for  I  had  only  ten  cents  left  and  I  gave  them  to  an 
organ  grinder,  whom  I  had  watched  a  long  time 
and  who  had  received  nothing.  He  was  laboring, 
I  was  idle,  so  he  deserved  it. 

I  found  Frau  Goldstein  making  a  terrible  scene 
to  Frau  Matrosi.  The  latter  was  sobbing,  and  cry- 
ing she  had  no  money  to  pay  the  rent,  and  Frau 
Goldstein  was  screaming,  we  were  a  pair  of  beggars 
she  would  turn  out  in  the  street. 

\\'e  owed  two  days'  board  and  rent,  so  her  words 
were  true,  but  they  made  me  angry. 

"  Leave  this  room,  Frau  Goldstein,"  I  said  very 
quietly  but  with  my  grand  air,  "  in  an  hour  you 
shall  be  paid  and  we  shall  go." 

My  accent  was  so  determined  that  she  believed 
me  and  went  away  grumbling,  slamming  the  door 
behind  her. 


366  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

"Do  not  weep,"  I  said  to  Theodora;  "in  a  lit- 
tle while  we  shall  be  out  of  our  misery;  pack  up 
the  things." 

I  went  into  my  little  room  and  detached  a  pearl 
from  my  necklace ;  I  know  not  what  they  are  worth, 
perhaps  a  thousand  dollars  each,  for  they  are  large 
and  perfect.  My  heart  ached  to  part  with  one, 
for  I  remembered  so  well  how  lovingly  my  dear 
grandmother  had  clasped  them  round  my  neck. 

The  pawnbroker,  Isaac  Levi,  had  his  shop  near 
by.  Quickly  I  walked  there.  After  a  long  exam- 
ination of  the  pearl  through  a  lense,  and  much  bar- 
gaining, he  gave  me  a  hundred  dollars  and  said  if 
I  had  others  he  would  buy  them  of  me.  I  saw  my 
brushes  had  been  untouched  and  I  redeemed  them. 
In  my  purse  I  found  also  Mrs.  McGreggor's  pawn 
ticket,  so  I  got  back  her  ring. 

I  felt  very  rich  with  my  ninety-six  dollars  and  a 
half.  I  returned  to  the  boarding  house.  On  the 
steps  stood  a  tall  thin  man  pulling  at  the  broken  bell. 
We  stared  at  each  other  a  second,  and  simul- 
taneously we  exclaimed,  "  Herr  Schimmel !  " — 
"Roschen!" 

I  was  overjoyed  to  see  his  dear  kind  face ;  he  took 
my  two  hands  in  his:  " Ach!  Roschen!  you  have 
changed;  you  look  unwell  and  pale,"  he  said. 

"  I  have  grown  a  little  thin,"  I  said,  "  but  I  am 
very  strong." 

I  asked  him  to  wait  while  I  paid  Frau  Goldstein. 


NEW  YORK  367 

That  being  done,  I  took  him  with  me  to  look  for 
lodgings.  He  drew  my  arm  through  his,  and  we 
walked  off  together. 

I  told  him  all  that  happened  to  me  since  I  had  re- 
turned to  New  York;  but  my  two  days  with  Mr. 
Dale,  I  spoke  not  of.  He  shook  his  head  many 
times  in  disapproval:  "This  is  not  the  right  life 
for  you,  Roschen." 

Near  Washington  Square,  we  came  to  a  house 
where  furnished  rooms  were  advertised.  It  looked 
clean  and  nice.  We  entered.  A  quiet,  elderly 
woman  showed  us  a  little  apartment  composed  of 
a  tiny  kitchen,  a  parlor,  and  two  small  bedrooms. 
It  was  clean  and  simply  furnished;  the  price  —  fifty 
dollars  a  month.  We  had  to  do  our  own  cooking; 
this  I  knew  Frau  Matrosi  would  like,  for  then  she 
could  prepare  her  Christian  German  repasts. 

I  paid  the  fifty  dollars,  and  said  I  would  move  in 
with  my  friend,  an  old  lady,  that  same  afternoon. 
Herr  Schimmel  engaged  a  little  attic  room  for  the 
night.  He  told  me  he  had  to  join  the  Troupe  in 
Pennsylvania  the  next  day.  Frau  Matrosi's  letter 
had  been  forwarded  from  one  place  to  the  other, 
and  only  reached  them  last  night;  he  had  come  to 
see  how  she  was,  but  never  expected  to  find 
me. 

"  Are  you  supporting  Frau  Matrosi  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  We  are  taking  care  of  each  other;  I  don't  know 
what  would  have  become  of  me  without  her." 


368  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

He  asked  no  further  questions  about  my  resources, 
as  he  saw  I  had  enough  money. 

I  made  little  provisions  in  the  neighborhood  of 
coal  and  wood,  and  groceries,  and  I  bought  a  few 
things  for  our  supper;  I  wanted  the  first  night  of 
our  installation  to  have  a  feast.  I  insisted  on  mak- 
ing Herr  Schimmel  go  into  a  restaurant  with  me, 
and  eat  a  lunch,  as  we  neither  of  us  had  had  any- 
thing all  day. 

We  returned  to  our  little  flat  with  our  provisions ; 
I  had  bought  a  few  flowers  for  the  table. 

I  engaged  a  carriage  to  take  Frau  Matrosi  to  our 
new  home. 

On  entering  Frau  Goldstein's  house,  I  was  re- 
joiced to  think  I  should  never  go  into  that  odious 
place  again. 

Frau  Matrosi  uttered  loud  exclamations  of  joy 
on  seeing  Herr  Schimmel ;  and  they  kissed  each 
other  on  both  cheeks.  She  was  ready  to  start.  I 
tossed  my  things  into  my  bag,  and  took  my  rug  on 
my  arm;  these  are  my  sole  possessions.  We  de- 
scended the  stairs;  Herr  Schimmel  carried  Frau 
Matrosi 's  small  box. 

I  gave  the  servant  girl  two  dollars,  as  she  had 
rendered  us  a  few  services. 

We  all  drove  together  to  our  new  lodgings.  Frau 
Matrosi  was  enchanted  with  the  rooms,  and  she  im- 
mediately began  cooking  our  supper.  We  had  a 
merry  little  repast. 


NEW  YORK  369 

I  fear  from  what  Herr  Schimmel  said,  the  Troupe 
is  not  making  good  affairs.  Frau  Matrosi  will  be 
unable  to  work  for  some  time  more.  She  asked 
me  no  question  as  to  what  I  had  sold, —  the  source 
of  all  our  new  prosperity.  But  now  we  must  econ- 
omize. I  find  I  have  spent  to-day  seventy  dollars. 
I  have  no  idea  how  much  it  costs  to  eat.  All  my 
toilet  must  be  refreshed  and  I  want  to  buy  my- 
self a  black  costume,  although  I  know  I  wear  deep 
mourning  in  my  heart.  I  am  determined  to  find 
work,  if  only  out  of  what  I  gain  to  pay  Mr.  Dale,  as 
I  promised,  the  money  I  owe  him  and  Anna  Engel. 


24 


XXXVI 

OCTOBER  20.  Herr  Schimmel  stayed  with  us 
only  one  night.  His  train  departed  in  the 
afternoon,  but  in  the  morning  we  took  a  walk  to- 
gether, down  by  the  Battery  near  the  water. 

He  has  a  heart  like  a  child  and  enjoys  the  simplest 
little  pleasures;  a  cloud,  a  leaf,  a  baby's  curls,  fill 
him  with  delight.  He  says  that  anything  that 's 
pleasing  to  the  eye  is  a  gift  to  the  soul,  the  only 
possessions  that  make  a  man  rich. 

I  should  like  to  cultivate  that  thought,  for  it  will 
surely  be  my  only  mode  of  accumulating  wealth. 

Yet  he  has  had  a  very  sad  life.  We  sat  on  a 
bench  and  he  told  me  much  about  himself;  of  the 
great  ambitions  of  his  youth. 

"  I  was  brought  up  as  a  shoemaker,  and  while 
working  at  the  leather,  my  mind  was  filled  with 
music;  the  rhythm  of  a  machine  seemed  an  air,  with 
the  time  well  marked.  The  pulling  of  the  thread 
in  regular  movement,  I  compared  to  long  drawn 
scales.  I  dreamed  to  be  a  new  Hans  Sachs,  and 
now  I  am  terminating  my  life  as  a  third  class  come- 
dian. I  am  a  failure !  " 

"  Oh,  no,  dear  Herr  Schimmel,"  I  exclaimed, 
370 


NEW  YORK  371 

"  say  not  that.  Others  are  stupid  not  to  recognize 
your  talent.  You  play  beautifully  on  the  flute. 
And  then  you  are  noble  in  adversity,  and  you  open 
your  heart  to  people's  troubles;  you  were  my  bene- 
factor on  the  ship;  you  gave  me  generously  of  all 
your  kindness,  and  I  am  sure  some  day  you  will 
have  a  success  before  the  public." 

"  Ach,  Roschen,  you  make  me  very  happy,  but 
I  fear  kindness  of  heart  is  no  help  to  success.  In 
America  I  shall  not  be  recognized.  The  nation  here 
is  not  musical;  they  have  too  many  noises  in  their 
ears ;  all  the  time  bells,  whistles,  horns  and  their  own 
strident  voices.  They  want  music  for  dancing,  and 
while  they  eat,  and  at  the  theatre,  to  indicate  to 
them  if  a  play  is  a  drama  or  a  comedy.  Without 
a  cake  walk  tune  or  an  adagio  patetico,  they  know 
not  whether  to  cry  or  laugh;  they  have  no  artistic 
sense.  Why,  Roschen,  in  Philadelphia  the  other 
night,  I  was  given  a  ticket  to  the  theatre;  the  actor 
was  an  artist;  he  was  representing  a  young  bride- 
groom drunk  on  his  wedding  night,  not  very  drunk, 
but  just  enough  to  gradually  inspire  horror  to  his 
bride;  it  was  pitiful,  it  was  tragic,  and  will  you  be- 
lieve it,  those  idiots  of  the  audience  laughed,  as 
they  do  in  the  street  when  a  tipsy  man  embraces 
a  lamp-post.  Ach,  mcin  Gott!  I  could  have  stran- 
gled them." 

He  was  excited  and  gesticulating;  I  proposed 
walking  home. 


372  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

He  and  I  agreed  Frau  Matrosi  would  not  be  able 
to  act  for  a  long  time.  "  And  besides,  my  little 
Rosa,"  he  said,  "  until  you  return  to  your  friends, 
you  must  have  some  one  to  live  with." 

I  had  told  him  my  grandmother  had  died  and  that 
in  less  than  three  years  I  should  be  major. 

He  shook  his  head,  saying,  "  You  are  a  little 
runaway  princess,  and  I  cannot  see  why  you  live 
like  this." 

I  did  not  explain  my  reasons  for  I  thought  he 
would  not  understand  them,  probably  nobody  would, 
and  I  must  fight  alone  for  my  own  independence. 

After  he  went  I  felt  lonely,  for  he  was  a  good 
companion;  poor  old  man,  it  is  sad  to  live  fifty 
years,  with  no  remembrance  of  success! 

Frau  Matrosi  bores  me  terribly  with  her  incessant 
talk  about  her  ugly  little  husband, —  she  wears  his 
picture  in  a  medallion  and  he  looks  like  a  monkey  — 
but  still  she  is  jealous  of  him  and  fears  he  will  fall 
a  prey  to  women  who  make  love  to  him  in  her 
absence.  Her  only  thought  is  to  join  the  Troupe 
and  become  rich  and  go  back  to  him,  but  she  is 
crippled  with  rheumatism  and  she  has  often  attacks 
of  the  heart ;  so  she  frets  a  great  deal,  and  when  my 
patience  is  at  an  end,  I  walk  indefinitely  in  the  quiet 
streets  about  Washington  Square. 

I  have  made  friends  with  a  poor  girl  who  lives 
in  an  attic  at  the  top  of  our  house;  she  is  called 
Mary  Snow,  and  works  in  a  feather  factory;  she 


NEW  YORK  373 

spends  most  of  her  evenings  with  us;  for  I  found 
her  room  was  cold  and  lit  only  by  a  little  oil  lamp. 
She  has  rendered  me  a  great  service  by  finding  me 
work.  I  sew  aprons  at  twenty-five  cents  a  dozen. 
I  give  German  lessons  to  a  boy  who  also  lives  in  our 
house,  in  exchange  of  the  use  of  his  mother's  sew- 
ing machine. 

Mary  Snow  said  she  used  to  make  four  dozen 
aprons  a  day ;  but  I  am  very  slow ;  I  only  succeeded 
in  making  four  aprons  the  first  day,  but  now  I  man- 
age to  do  a  dozen,  and  I  calculate  it  will  take  me 
forty  days  before  I  can  send  the  ten  dollars  to  Mr. 
Dale.  But  I  am  much  happier  since  I  am  occupied. 

Mary  Snow  and  Frau  Matrosi  talk  by  signs  and 
they  get  on  very  well  together. 


XXXVII 

NOVEMBER  20th.  A  month  has  passed; 
here  is  what  I  have  achieved. 

By  learning  to  work  faster  and  faster,  and  hardly 
ever  going  out,  I  succeeded  in  doing  two  dozen 
aprons  a  day,  earning  thus  fifty  cents.  Last  week 
I  had  ten  dollars;  this  I  sent  to  Mr.  Dale,  in  an 
envelope  on  which  I  wrote,  "  from  my  earnings." 
I  enclosed  it  in  a  short  note  to  Anna  Engel  with 
seven  dollars  from  my  pearl  money.  I  said  noth- 
ing of  my  circumstances,  and  of  course  I  gave  no 
address. 

So  my  debts  are  paid !  What  I  owed  him  since 
the  first  day  we  met  going  to  Newport,  is  canceled. 
Nothing  attaches  me  to  him,  not  even  a  debt.  Ev- 
erything is  finished  between  us!  The  thought 
while  I  worked  on  those  endless  aprons,  that  the 
result  of  every  stitch  was  to  go  to  him,  a  proof 
I  had  kept  my  vow  to  work  and  could  pay,  made 
me  so  diligent,  but  now  I  feel  I  have  no  incentive. 
Fifty  cents  a  day  would  not  even  nourish  Theodora 
and  me.  I  had  to  pawn  another  pearl.  My  pride 
is  gone;  those  words  of  triumph  to  him,  "  from  my 

374 


NEW  YORK  375 

earnings,"  were  really  false.  To  myself  I  own  my 
defeat ;  I  cannot  gain  my  life.  Naturally  I  support 
Frau  Matrosi. 

When  I  returned  Mrs.  McGreggor's  wedding 
ring,  I  found  the  family  in  still  greater  misery  than 
before,  so  I  also  assist  them,  and  every  Sunday  I 
go  to  see  them. 

I  lie  awake  at  night  asking  myself :  "  Ought  I 
not  to  sell  my  pearls  and  give  all  the  poor  people  I 
see  happiness.  Ought  I  not  to  send  Frau  Matrosi 
back  to  Germany?"  Also  Mary  Snow  who  only 
earns  five  dollars  a  week,  has  no  winter  clothes  and 
the  weather  is  growing  cold.  At  least  she  has  her 
supper  with  us  now. 

Herr  Schimmel  worries  me,  too,  for  he  says  the 
Troupe  is  not  making  good  affairs  and  he  is  ex- 
perimenting on  a  nut  diet.  "  You  would  laugh," 
he  writes,  "  to  see  how  thin  I  have  grown."  Oh, 
no,  dear  man,  I  weep  to  think  you  may  be  starving. 

I  wish  there  were  someone  I  could  consult.  My 
own  judgment  is  so  little  sure.  I  told  Frau  Matrosi 
how  unhappy  I  was  about  the  McGreggors  and  she 
said,  "  Don't  worry  about  other  people,  Rosa ;  the 
poor  are  like  grains  of  sand  —  you  cannot  count 
their  number." 

One  thing  I  have  done.  I  remembered  how  the 
Settlement  ladies  in  Boston  sent  a  nurse  to  the 
sick  and  Mary  Snow  showed  me  a  Deaconess 
Home,  where  I  applied  for  someone  to  take  care  of 


376  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

the  McGreggors.  A  nurse,  a  nice  Miss  Brown,  goes 
there  every  day. 

I  must  find  a  doctor  for  Theodora  Matrosi;  she 
looks  to  me  quite  ill  and  her  heart  attacks  become 
more  frequent. 

I  have  many  cares  and  anxieties;  it  would  be 
sweet  to  avow  to  someone  wise  and  kind  that  I 
felt  after  all  too  young  to  take  care  of  myself  and 
of  so  many  other  people;  I  want  someone  to  help 
me  solve  all  my  difficult  problems.  I  feel  sad,  and 
restless  and  depressed.  My  only  consolation  is  to 
think  that  now  he  will  no  longer  call  me  a  child, 
but  respect  me,  as  he  said  he  admired  most  the 
women  who  work.  I  must  persevere  a  little  longer. 

Last  time  I  visited  the  McGreggors  I  encountered 
there  the  Deaconess  nurse,  Miss  Brown.  I  ac- 
companied her  to  the  top  of  the  stairs;  she  said  tb 
me :  "  Miss  Schmidt,  unless  Mrs.  McGreggor  goes 
away  from  New  York,  she  will  die;  she  has  tuber- 
culosis." 

As  I  went  back  to  talk  to  them,  it  suddenly  oc- 
curred to  me  that  if  they  could  all  go  to  Mr.  Dale's 
Home  at  Rilldale,  Mrs.  McGreggor  would  get  well. 

I  told  them  about  the  Home;  the  most  beautiful 
place  in  the  world,  where  a  kind  gentleman  took 
care  of  people  and  made  them  well.  They  both 
said  they  would  like  to  go  with  their  children,  and 
I  am  writing  to  Miss  Brown  to  propose  their  being 
sent  there. 


NEW  YORK  377 

"  Dear  Miss  Brown, —  What  you  said  about  the 
necessity  of  Mrs.  McGreggor  going  away  from  New 
York,  has  suggested  to  me  the  thought  of  how 
happy  they  could  be  in  a  marvelous  Home  in 
the  Berkshires,  founded  by  Mr.  Herbert  Dale,  for 
consumptives,  where  a  friend  of  mine,  a  young 
German  girl,  has  just  been  cured.  Mr.  Dale  in- 
habits there,  and  takes  the  kindest  interest  to  the 
poor  people.  If  you  write  to  him,  I  am  sure  he 
will  send  for  the  whole  family  when  he  learns  their 
deplorable  condition.  It  is  a  little  hard  for  me  to 
assist  them  much  longer,  for  I  support  also  an  old 
friend,  and  I  am  trying  to  gain  my  own  life.  His 
address  is  Rilldale,  Stockbridge. 

"  I  pray  you  to  think  me,  dear  Miss  Brown, 
"  Your  very  sincere 

"  ROSA  SCHMIDT." 

Oh !  how  I  should  like  to  accompany  them,  and 
leave  the  dark,  noisy  city!  I  feel  not  very  well, 
and  I  suffer  continually  from  an  infinite  fatigue. 


XXXVIII 

NOVEMBER    25th.     Sunday    again!     I    am 
so  tired,  so  tired  that  it  fatigues  me  to  rest. 

Frau  Matrosi  has  had  several  attacks  of  the  heart 
this  week,  but  she  won't  see  an  American  doctor.  I 
have  sat  up  with  her  these  last  two  nights.  I  think 
I  have  caught  cold.  The  weather  is  very  damp. 
My  head  is  throbbing.  I  am  dizzy.  My  courage 
is  fainting  away.  I  shall  sell  all  my  pearls.  I  shall 
go  to  the  country  where  it  is  quiet.  The  elevated 
trains  are  running  through  my  brain.  Snow  is 
falling.  At  Rilldale  it  is  pure  and  white,  here  the 
passersby  crush  it  into  slime  and  mud. 

Theodora  is  crying  for  her  husband  and  her  little 
boys.  I  have  nobody  to  cry  for.  I  must  send  her 
home,  and  then  I  must  live  all  alone.  That  idea 
frightens  me.  Mary  Snow  lives  alone  in  an  attic. 
But  she  is  courageous  and  I  am  a  coward. 

To-day,  like  never  before,  I  long  for  my  dear 
grandmother.  I  should  like  to  sit  at  her  feet,  and 
rest  my  head  against  her  knee,  and  have  her 
counsel  me  what  to  do ;  I  feel  not  wise,  and  oh !  so 
tired ! 

378 


NEW  YORK  379 

I  must  shake  myself  and  go  to  see  the  McGreg- 
gors;  they  are  expecting  me  this  afternoon;  per- 
haps they  have  already  received  an  invitation  from 
Mr.  Dale;  I  should  like  to  see  what  he  writes. 

I  have  kept  his  letter  to  me,  and  often  I  read  it 
over. 

I  have  a  strange  feeling,  ever  since  early  this 
morning,  as  if  someone  were  calling  me,  I  know 
not  where,  I  know  not  who. 

Yes,  I  must  go  to  the  McGreggors  — • 

I  tried  to  put  on  my  hat,  but  everything  turned 
black  before  my  eyes,  and  I  had  such  a  terrible 
chill  that  I  went  and  crouched  by  the  stove  in  the 
kitchen  where  Fran  Matrosi  was  dozing. 

Now  I  have  returned  to  my  own  room  with  my 
head  on  fire,  and  there  are  pulses  beating  all  over  me, 
and  my  bones  ache. 

I  am  ashamed  of  myself;  I  must  make  an  effort 
and  go  and  see  my  poor  friends. 

Out  of  the  window  I  observe  a  mist  makes  the 
air  thick;  all  the  smoke  of  the  city  seems  to  be 
melting  into  black  drops.  I  think  it  is  already  grow- 
ing sombre,  and  it  frightens  me  to  go  into  that 
worse  quarter  of  the  town  after  dark. 

My  hand  is  trembling;  my  head  is  throbbing;  I 
feel  ill ;  yes,  I  know  I  have  fever ;  I  am  ill,  and  there 
is  no  one  to  take  care  of  me. 

I  want  my  dear  grandmother ;  I  should  like  to  be 
a  little  child ;  I  want  to  cry.  But  no,  it  is  I  who 


380  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

must  console  all  those  other  people  who  are  crying; 
the  other  little  children! 

I  hear  Mary  Snow ;  she  has  entered  the  kitchen ; 
she  calls  me  "  Rosie."  Is  that  my  name?  Yes, 
Rosie  Schmidt,  or  Rosa,  Roschen,  Dornroschen. 
Prince  Ulrich  wants  to  marry  Yvonne  Carrington. 
Mary  does  n't  know  Yvonne.  Nobody  wants  to 
love  poor  Rosie  Schmidt.  I  will  go  and  tell  Mary 
about  Yvonne  dancing  at  the  Emperor's  ball.  She 
will  laugh! 

I  must  go  and  see  the  McGreggors.  Again  I 
hear  a  voice!  Somebody  is  calling  me!  .  .  . 


XXXIX 

DECEMBER  i4th,  I5th,  i6th.  Fifth  Avenue 
—  With  a  pencil  I  can  write  from  time  to 
time.  The  last  page  of  my  Memoirs  is  blotted  with 
tears,  but  now  all  my  destiny  is  changed.  I  have 
been  long  unconscious,  and  can  only  relate  what  I 
have  been  told. 

I  went  to  the  door  of  the  kitchen;  I  said  one  or 
two  incoherent  words,  and  then  I  fainted.  Mary 
Snow  lifted  me  onto  my  bed.  Frau  Matrosi  was 
so  startled  at  seeing  me  ill  that  she  had  a  heart  at- 
tack. 

Mary  called  the  landlady  to  her  aid,  and  then 
she  ran  to  fetch  Miss  Brown. 

Vaguely  I  realized  that  somebody  was  taking  care 
of  me;  that  the  voice  that  had  been  calling  me  all 
day,  was  speaking  softly  to  me,  and  that  I  could 
not  answer. 

After  that  I  had  terrible  dreams  of  being  dragged 
over  rocks  and  through  cold  streams;  of  falling 
down  precipices,  and  of  heavy  stones  dropping  upon 
me  and  crushing  my  breast  so  that  I  could  not 
breathe. 

Then  gradually  I  awoke  as  from  a  long,  long 
381 


382  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

sleep.  The  evil  dreams  had  gone.  I  lay  quite  still 
for  days,  with  closed  eyes,  vaguely  conscious  of 
being  cared  for.  Sometimes  I  heard  people  whisper 
softly,  and  I  often  had  the  sensation  of  someone 
standing  at  the  foot  of  the  bed  watching  me.  The 
first  word  I  understood  was  my  own  name 
"  Yvonne  "  spoken  gently  with  the  voice  that  had 
been  calling  me.  I  was  too  weak  to  open  my 
eyes;  I  only  smiled,  and  a  tear  ran  down  my 
cheek. 

Someone  said,  "  Doctor,  I  think  she  is  conscious." 

"  Not  yet,"  was  the  answer,  and  everything  was 
quiet  again.  No  sound,  no  noise,  a  distant  muffled 
rumbling.  As  my  thoughts  grew  clearer  I  won- 
dered how  it  could  be  so  still,  for  in  my.  little  room, 
the  windows  had  been  shaken  continually  by  the 
elevated  trains. 

Thus  time  passed  without  my  knowledge  of  hours, 
or  of  days,  or  of  nights.  When  I  first  opened  my 
eyes  I  saw  a  nurse  bending  over  me,  and  later  I  saw 
another  one.  I  suffered  no  pain,  only  I  felt  an  in- 
finite fatigue. 

Soon  I  began  to  wonder  where  I  was.  I 
lay  in  a  big,  comfortable  bed.  I  saw  several  win- 
dows hung  with  blue  curtains.  The  floor  was  of 
polished  wood,  with  soft  colored  rugs;  the  arm- 
chairs covered  in  light  silk.  A  fire  burned  always 
in  the  room. 

The  nurse  was  feeding  me ;  I  observed  the  spoon 


NEW  YORK  383 

was  of  silver  and  the  cup  of  delicate  china.  The 
nurse  smiled  and  said :  "  You  are  feeling  better 
to-day,  Miss  Carrington." 

I  shut  my  eyes,  I  could  not  answer,  or  ask  ques- 
tions, I  was  too  weak;  I  simply  knew  I  was  no 
longer  Rosa  Schmidt. 

This  brought  me  my  first  sensation  of  pleasure, 
and  I  lay  still  and  was  happy. 

A  thought  began  with  persistence  to  worry  me. 
The  first  question  I  asked  was,  "  Who  takes  care 
of  Frau  Matrosi?" 

The  nurse  answered :  "  Mr.  Dale  has  seen  to 
everything." 

"  I  want  to  see  Mr.  Dale,"  I  said  as  a  thing  all 
natural. 

"  I  '11  ask  the  Doctor  if  you  may." 

"  Yes,  please,  at  once."  I  felt  my  will  was  re- 
turning with  my  strength;  I  was  told  the  next  day 
I  might  see  him,  and  he  came  — 

Very  softly  he  walked  across  the  floor,  and  stood 
by  my  bed.  He  took  my  hand  in  his  and  held  it. 

I  was  anxious  to  see  if  he  were  angry  with  me, 
but  no,  his  eyes  were  kind,  and  he  seemed  emo- 
tioned. I  smiled  at  him,  and  he  sat  down  beside 
the  bed. 

"  Please  tell  me,"  I  said  and  my  voice  was  so 
low  he  had  to  bend  nearer  to  hear  me,  "  who  takes 
care  of  Frau  Matrosi?" 

"  A  doctor  and  a  nurse  have  been  caring  for  her ; 


384  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

she  is  much  better.  Herr  Schimmel  has  returned 
and  lives  in  the  same  house." 

"  Have  you  seen  him  ?  " 

'  Yes,  he  has  been  here  every  day  to  inquire  for 
you.  I  like  him." 

"  I  am  so  glad,  I  want  to  see  him." 

"  Very  soon  you  may." 

I  sighed,  and  he  said,  "  Poor  little  girl ! "  so 
tenderly  that  it  sounded  to  me  like  a  caress. 

"Have  the  McGreggors  gone  to  Rilldale?"  I 
asked. 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  they  went  some  time  ago ;  it 
was  through  them,  thank  God,  that  I  discovered 
you." 

"  Tell  me  about  it,"  I  said. 

"  Not  to-day,  you  must  not  talk  any  more." 

"I  have  been  ill?" 

"  Yes,  very  ill."  I  think  his  voice  trembled ;  I 
closed  my  eyes,  with  the  joy  of  knowing  that  when 
I  opened  them,  I  should  see  him. 

"Where  does  Mary  Snow  get  her  supper?"  I 
asked  again. 

"  She  has  moved  into  your  little  room,  to  be 
near  Frau  Matrosi ;  she  is  a  nice,  good  girl." 

"  I  am  so  glad  you  like  my  friends,"  I  murmured. 

I  wanted  to  know  no  more,  my  mind  was  at 
rest.  I  was  happy  with  such  a  sweet  emotion  that 
I  felt  tears  run  down  my  cheeks. 

"  Are  you  crying,  dearest  ?  "  he  said  with  alarm. 


NEW  YORK  385 

"  I  am  so  happy,"  I  whispered,  "  that  I  thought 
I  would  die  gladly  now,  so  as  never  to  know  any- 
thing different  from  this." 

"  Oh !  Yvonne,  don't  say  that,  I  want  you  to 
live,  my  darling,  I  want  you  to  be  happy;  I  don't 
dare  tell  you  now  all  the  things  I  want." 

He  wiped  gently  the  tears  from  my  face,  and 
in  perfect  contentment,  with  the  knowledge  he  was 
near  me  and  not  displeased  with  me,  I  fell  asleep. 

I  am  living  in  Uncle  John  King's  house,  on  Fifth 
Avenue;  how  I  came  here  I  know  not  yet.  I  can- 
not talk  much,  my  voice  is  very  weak,  even  my 
thoughts  are  rather  vague,  and  seem  to  blow  away 
easily  like  thistle-down. 

For  several  days  I  have  seen  only  Herbert  Dale, 
and  truly  no  one  else  do  I  want  to  see. 

He  found  me  writing  just  now,  and  \vas  afraid 
I  was  fatiguing  myself.  He  says  he  will  inscribe 
himself  in  my  little  book  the  long  recital  of  how 
he  discovered  me ;  and  he  has  moved  the  table  where 
I  can  watch  him  write. 

"  Dear  Yvonne,  you  ask  me  to  give  this  account 
of  my  search  for  you;  here  it  is:  Much  against 
my  own  inclinations,  as  you  know,  I  went  to  New 
York;  I  saw  your  Cousin  Henry  Short,  and  we 
returned  to  Stockbridge  together  on  Sunday.  I 
had  meantime  seen  your  uncle,  Mr.  King,  and 
asked  if  he  would  take  care  of  you,  in  case  you 
25 


386  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

were  anxious  to  go  to  his  house.  He  readily 
agreed  to  receive  you,  and  I  had  a  long  argument 
with  Henry  Short,  in  which  I  at  last  prevailed; 
you  should  have  the  choice  of  going  to  either  Mr. 
King's  house  or  your  Cousin  Carolina's.  I  hoped 
this  chance  for  you  to  go  to  more  congenial  sur- 
roundings would  make  you  forgive  my  seeming 
harshness.  You  may  imagine  my  dismay,  when  ar- 
riving at  my  house  I  was  greeted  by  Anna  Engel  with 
the  news  that  you  had  left  Rilldale  Friday,  a  few 
hours  after  I  had  gone. 

She  had  been  very  much  agitated,  not  knowing 
what  to  do.  She  sent  a  telegram  Saturday  to  my 
office,  which  I  had  not  received.  I  read  the  letter 
you  had  left  for  me, —  your  pathetic  letter,  reveal- 
ing such  complete  self-reliance,  and  such  total  ig- 
norance of  the  dangers  you  were  confronting; 
showing  also  your  great  distress  of  mind,  and  prov- 
ing to  me  what  a  blundering  fool  I  had  been.  I 
was  obliged  to  show  it  to  Henry  Short,  who  was 
indignantly  surprised  at  your  saying,  you  would 
rather  die  than  live  with  him  and  his  sister;  he  had 
been  convinced  until  then  that  you  would  gladly  go 
to  his  house,  to  await  your  mother's  orders.  But 
my  pity  and  his  indignation  were  changed  to  alarm. 
Where  had  you  vanished  to?  I  remembered  your 
telling  me  about  Herr  Meyerbaum;  it  was  perhaps 
your  idea  to  earn  your  living  on  the  stage,  as  a  mem- 
ber of  his  company.  Henry  Short  would  not  tol- 


NEW  YORK  387 

erate  such  a  supposition,  and  our  fears  were  in- 
creased when  Anna  Engel  told  us,  you  had  borrowed 
seven  dollars  from  her,  which  she  believed  was  all 
the  money  you  had. 

To  fancy  you  alone,  penniless  in  New  York  was 
intolerable ! 

At  once,  Henry  Short  and  I  returned  to  the  city ; 
he  to  inquire  at  the  houses  of  the  people  he  thought 
you  might  go  to;  I,  to  engage  a  private  detective 
and  put  him  on  the  trace  of  the  Meyerbaum  troupe. 

I  can  only  say  the  next  six  weeks  were  a  horrible 
nightmare.  One  clue  after  another  was  taken  up, 
to  be  dropped  again  as  the  wrong  one.  Meyer- 
baum was  discovered  in  Pennsylvania.  I  went 
myself  to  see  him;  I  only  learnt  from  him  that  a 
young  girl  — "  Dornroschcn  "  he  called  her,  had 
joined  them  on  their  voyage  to  America.  Of 
course  that  was  you,  but  he  knew  as  little  as  I 
did  where  you  were.  Herr  Schimmel  was  in  New 
York  at  the  time.  I  went  to  Frau  Hirsch's 
boarding  house ;  the  landlady  —  a  very  sullen 
woman,  said  she  had  never  seen  any  one  resem- 
bling the  description  I  gave  of  you. 

Factories,  shops,  theatres,  every  kind  of  place 
was  investigated,  every  sort  of  veiled  advertise- 
ment was  put  in  the  newspapers;  for  we  did  not 
wish  the  public  to  be  told  of  your  disappear- 
ance. Letters  and  cables  were  exchanged  between 
your  mother  and  Henry  Short.  He  was  beside 


388  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

himself  with  anxiety,  and  was  laid  low  by  re- 
peated bilious  attacks.  He  sailed  for  Europe  after 
a  month's  vain  search  to  confer  with  your  mother. 
He  was  convinced  that  you  had  either  been  kid- 
napped or  died  under  an  assumed  name. 

I  confess  every  kind  of  hideous  thought  passed 
through  my  brain.  The  idea  that  you,  a  beautiful, 
delicate  girl,  with  no  knowledge  of  life,  thrown  en- 
tirely on  your  resources,  was  an  hourly  torture. 
Bitterly  I  blamed  myself  for  being  responsible  for 
your  flight.  You  had  come  to  me  asking  for  help 
and  protection,  and  I,  fool  that  I  was,  had  re- 
buked you,  and  had  cruelly  told  you  that  I  should 
return  you  to  hated  surroundings. 

Anna  Engel  gave  me  the  card  accompanying  the 
seventeen  dollars  you  sent.  By  this,  I  knew  you 
were  alive  and  had  money,  but  I  was  just  as  anxious 
as  ever  to  know  where  you  were. 

I  went  home  to  Stockbridge.  As  I  entered  my 
library,  your  image  seemed  to  fill  the  room.  The 
piteous  words,  "  I  am  all  alone  in  the  world  now  " 
rang  through  my  ears.  Your  sweet,  sad  eyes, 
your  expression  of  reproach,  the  sound  of  your 
little  feet  pacing  the  floor, —  every  impression  you 
had  left  behind  challenged  me  as  a  rebuke,  and 
mingled  with  my  remorse  came  the  knowledge  that 
not  alone  my  frantic  anxiety  as  to  your  fate,  but  an 
ever  increasing  desire  to  see  you  again,  to  beg  of  you 
the  greatest  gift,  was  adding  despair  to  my  suspense. 


NEW  YORK  389 

I  went  to  my  writing  table  and  idly  I  sorted 
my  mail.  Among  my  letters  I  opened  one  from  the 
Deaconess  Home  —  a  request  to  help  a  destitute 
family.  I  was  throwing  it  aside,  when  I  said  to 
myself  —  if  Yvonne  were  here  she  would  tell  me, 
I  know,  to  help  these  unfortunates;  I  remembered 
your  interest  and  sympathy  towards  all  suffer- 
ing, and  surmounting  my  indifference,  I  read 
Miss  Brown's  letter;  she  spoke  of  a  young  friend 
—  a  Miss  Schmidt  —  who  had  supported  this 
family  of  McGreggors,  and  proposed  sending  them 
to  the  Sanitorium  at  Rilldale.  Miss  Brown  en- 
closed Miss  Schmidt's  letter.  Mechanically  I 
opened  the  enclosure;  the  signature  was  unfamiliar, 
but  the  handwriting  startled  me.  I  compared  it 
with  the  note  I  carried  always  with  me.  It  was 
the  same,  and  the  unique  style  was  unmistakably 
yours !  I  pressed  the  letter  to  my  lips,  in  unspeaka- 
ble joy.  At  last  I  had  a  clew! 

In  a  fever  of  impatience  I  chartered  a  special 
engine,  for  it  was  late  Saturday  night.  On  my 
way  to  the  station,  I  stopped  at  the  Home  and 
saw  Anna  Engel ;  she  shared  my  hopefulness  and 
assured  me  she  had  always  been  certain  her  prayers 
would  be  granted. 

The  engine  was  ready,  I  stood  in  the  cab,  and 
insisted  on  helping  the  stoker.  Every  delay  was 
intolerable,  every  rapid  stretch  of  speed  seemed 
a  moment  gained  over  the  interminable  suspense. 


390  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

At  six  A.  M.  I  arrived  in  New  York.  At  seven 
I  was  at  the  door  of  the  Deaconess  House. 

I  asked  for  Miss  Brown  and  gave  my  card. 
After  a  while  a  trim  little  nurse  appeared,  evi- 
dently surprised  at  my  early  visit. 

Suppressing  as  best  I  could  every  sign  of  ex- 
citement, I  said  the  McGreggor  family  filled  me 
with  the  greatest  interest,  and  I  should  like  to  see 
Miss  Rosa  Schmidt  concerning  them. 

Imagine  my  feelings  when  Miss  Brown  told  me 
she  did  not  know  where  Miss  Schmidt  lived;  she 
had  only  met  her  a  few  times  at  the  McGreggors, 
that  they  however  might  know.  "  She  is  a  for- 
eigner I  think,"  said  Miss  Brown,  "  she  speaks  with 
an  accent;  the  McGreggors  simply  worship  the 
ground  she  treads  on.  She  saved  them  from  star- 
vation; she  has  supported  the  family  for  over  a 
month,  and  yet  I  believe  she  herself  works,  and  she 
looks  to  me  far  from  strong." 

In  as  casual  a  manner  as  possible,  I  asked  more 
questions  concerning  you.  Miss  Brown  said : 
"  Miss  Schmidt  has  spoken  of  you  and  your  Home 
with  the  greatest  enthusiasm;  the  fact  is,  Sir,  she 
looks  to  me  more  as  if  she  belonged  to  Fifth  Ave- 
nue than  to  the  West  Side;  she  is  a  real  lady,  and 
no  mistake." 

My  next  step  was  to  visit  the  McGreggors,  al- 
though I  knew  the  hour  to  be  unsuitably  early. 
I  announced  as  I  entered  their  room,  I  came  as 


NEW  YORK  391 

a  friend  of  Miss  Schmidt,  and  the  man  imme- 
diately held  out  his  hand  to  me : 

"  Any  friend  of  Miss  Schmidt  is  welcome  here. 
If  it  had  n't  been  for  her  we  'd  been  dead  long 
ago.  It  is  not  for  the  money  she  gives,  although 
I  believe  she  can  ill  spare  it,  but  it 's  just  her 
bonny  way  of  giving  it  that  has  helped  us  bear 
our  troubles ;  did  n't  she  say  to  me  when  I  was 
thanking  her  last  time  she  comes,  *  It  is  perfectly 
natural  that  I  should  help  you,  Mr.  McGreggor, 
you  would  do  the  same  by  me,  if  conditions  were 
reversed.'  And  she  looked  at  me  with  that  pretty 
smile  of  hers,  as  if  it  was  she  who  was  under 
obligations,  not  me.  Ah!  yes,  sir,  take  my  word 
for  it,  there  's  no  young  lady  like  her,  in  the  Brit- 
ish Isles  nor  in  the  States." 

Every  word  spoken  told  me  it  was  you.  With 
diplomatic  precautions  I  first  inquired  into  their 
needs ;  I  promised  to  send  them  at  once  to  the  coun- 
try, and  I  wanted  to  see  Miss  Schmidt,  but  I  had  un- 
fortunately lost  her  address. 

Again  my  eagerness  to  see  you  at  once,  was 
checked  by  their  saying  you  had  never  told  them 
where  you  lived,  but  you  were  coming  to  see  them 
that  Sunday  afternoon ;  I  might  return  and  meet 
you,  towards  three  o'clock. 

During  the  hours  that  intervened  I  walked  the 
whole  neighborhood,  wondering  where  you  lived, 
what  your  circumstances  were. 


392  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

The  afternoon  was  cold  and  raw ;  rain  began 
to  fall ;  I  hoped  you  were  sufficiently  clad.  I  paced 
up  and  down  before  the  McGreggor's  house.  It 
was  long  after  three.  I  went  to  their  room,  and 
talked  with  them  for  a  while.  My  impatience  was 
visible. 

"  There  's  no  doubt  you  want  to  see  her,"  the 
woman  said.  "  She  may  be  ill,  she  looks  delicate ; 
she  ought  to  go  with  us  to  your  estate;  she  speaks 
of  it  as  the  most  wonderful  place  in  the  world." 

"  She  always  comes  before  this,"  said  the  man. 

I  never  in  my  life  longed  for  any  one  as  I  did 
for  you  that  day;  if  my  soul  had  had  a  voice,  you 
would  surely  have  heard  it  calling  you. 

At  six  o'clock  the  McGreggors  said  it  was  no  use 
waiting  any  longer.  In  despair  I  went  back  to  the 
Deaconess  House  to  consult  Miss  Brown.  I  was 
determined  to  find  you,  if  the  whole  detective  force 
were  turned  out  to  hunt  for  a  Miss  Rosa  Schmidt. 

Miss  Brown  was  at  supper.  I  waited  in  the 
hall.  I  had  been  there  a  few  minutes,  when  an 
excited,  disheveled  girl  rushed  in,  saying  she 
wanted  the  nurse,  Miss  Brown,  to  come  home  with 
her  at  once.  Miss  Brown  appeared. 

"  Oh !  that 's  you,  Miss  Brown,"  the  girl  said 
panting,  "  I  'm  Mary  Snow  that  lives  with  Rosie 
Schmidt;  she's  took  awful  sick,  and  Frau  Matrosi 
also.  Come  along  quick." 


NEW  YORK  393 

I  caught  the  girl  by  the  arm :  "  Is  Rosa  Schmidt 
the  McGreggors'  friend  ?  " 

'  Yes,"  she  said  looking  at  me  suspiciously,  "  but 
I  guess  that  ain't  no  business  of  yours." 

I  said  that  it  was  my  business  and  admitting 
of  no  contradiction,  I  accompanied  Miss  Brown 
and  Mary  Snow.  At  last  we  reached  the  house; 
I  followed  the  women  upstairs.  In  the  first  room 
we  entered,  an  old  woman  lay  in  bed. 

"  Go  quick,  see  Roschen,  she  sick,  Ach,  mein 
Gott!  very  sick!" 

With  my  heart  beating  wildly,  I  went  in  to  the 
little  room  where  you  lay.  Your  face  was  deadly 
pale,  your  eyes  half  closed,  unconscious  of  us  all. 
The  nurse  bent  over  you,  and  examined  you,  Mary 
Snow  standing  guard  at  the  foot  of  the  bed  by  my 
side. 

Miss  Brown  turned  to  me  and  said,  "  Mr.  Dale, 
she  has  pneumonia,  she  is  very  ill;  she  can't  be 
taken  care  of  here,  we  must  send  for  an  ambulance, 
and  telephone  to  admit  her  to  a  hospital." 

"  Miss  Brown,"  I  said,  "  this  young  girl  you  call 
Rosa  Schmidt,  is  a  friend  of  mine.  Her  name  is 
Yvonne  Carrington." 

From  my  pocket  I  drew  the  old  newspaper  cut- 
ting with  your  name  and  picture,  which  I  carried 
always  with  me,  to  serve  as  identification.  Miss 
Brown  and  Mary  Snow  looked  at  it;  the  latter  ex- 


394  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

claimed :  "  It 's  Rosie  all  right !  but  my  she  looks 
like  a  swell!  I  smelled  a  rat  right  along  that  she 
weren't  at  work  in  her  own  diggings !  " 

Your  diary  lay  open  on  the  table;  the  words 
Rosie  Schmidt  and  Yvonne  Carrington  caught  my 
eye;  further  back  my  own  name  was  mentioned. 
I  showed  it  to  Miss  Brown ;  she  was  convinced. 

I  ran  to  the  nearest  drug  store;  telephoned  for 
an  ambulance;  got  Mr.  King  on  the  line,  and  told 
him  to  prepare  a  room  for  you  at  once,  and  to 
have  a  doctor  and  nurse  ready  to  receive  you. 

When  I  returned  to  the  flat,  Frau  Matrosi  was 
having  some  sort  of  attack,  and  the  two  women 
were  busy  with  her. 

I  went  and  stood  again  at  the  foot  of  your  bed. 
You  were  unconscious,  your  breath  came  in  gasps. 
Your  golden  hair  fell  all  over  the  pillow;  round 
your  neck  I  caught  a  glimpse  of  your  grandmother's 
beautiful  pearls.  I  looked  about  the  tiny  room, 
with  its  miserable  furniture :  in  strange  contrast 
on  the  table  lay  tortoise  shell  brushes  with  gold 
initials ;  next  to  them  the  diary ;  thinking  you  would 
not  care  to  have  it  fall  in  the  hands  of  strangers, 
I  took  it;  a  little  key  was  attached;  as  I  was  lock- 
ing it  two  faded  flowers  dropped  from  between  the 
leaves.  I  recognized  the  pansy  and  forget-me-not 
I  had  sent  you  on  board  ship.  With  emotion  I 
replaced  them:  they  revealed  to  me  what  I  had 
hardly  dared  to  hope. 


NEW  YORK  395 

I  longed  to  bend  over  you,  and  speak  to  you, 
and  obtain  your  forgiveness;  your  thin  hands 
showed  me  you  had  suffered  privations;  my  heart 
was  wrung  with  pity  to  find  you  in  such  surround- 
ings. 

The  ambulance  men  arrived.  They  said  the 
stairs  were  too  narrow  for  a  stretcher. 

I  said  I  would  carry  you  down.  Miss  Brown 
wrapped  you  up  in  blankets.  I  took  you  in  my 
arms;  you  opened  your  eyes  for  one  instant,  and 
I  thought  you  looked  at  me  and  smiled;  I  held  you 
still  closer  to  me. 

We  drove  off.  Arrived  at  your  uncle's  house, 
I  again  took  you  in  my  arms  and  carried  you  up- 
stairs. 

Mr.  King  and  Mischief  and  the  servants  stood 
silent  in  the  hall  as  I  went  by  with  my  precious 
burden.  I  laid  you  on  a  bed,  a  nurse  was  in 
the  room,  and  the  doctor  soon  arrived. 

I  waited  downstairs  for  his  verdict.  Your 
uncle  seemed  anxious ;  and  Mischief  was  pale  with 
fear ;  I  told  them  how  I  had  found  you. 

The  doctor  came  in  looking  extremely  grave, 
and  said  you  were  very  ill.  You  had  pneumonia; 
such  a  sudden  collapse  was  due  to  a  chill,  and  a 
debilitated  condition. 

Your  uncle  invited  me  to  stay  in  the  house. 
Ten  days  passed  in  the  greatest  suspense.  At  last 
you  slowly  rallied,  the  fever  departed,  your  breath- 


396  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

ing  became  normal,  you  were  declared  out  of 
danger.  The  doctor  had  said  one  person  might  be 
allowed  in  the  room;  I  gave  your  uncle  a  reason 
which  he  accepted,  that  I  should  be  the  one;  and 
day  by  day  I  watched  your  gradual  recovery." 

He  read  me  all  he  had  written,  and  I  listened 
intently.  Oh !  the  strange  and  wonderful  discovery 
his  words  brought  me! 

"  I  never  imagined,"  I  said,  "  you  would  care  so 
much." 

He  closed  my  little  book,  and  came  and  knelt 
by  my  bedside. 

"  Yvonne,  my  darling,"  he  said,  "  I  want  you 
to  forgive  me  for  the  way  I  treated  you  at  Rill- 
dale —  the  cause  I  think  of  all  you  have  suffered." 

"  You  have  also  suffered  from  cause  of  me,"  I 
answered,  "and  I  have  much  to  be  forgiven  too!  " 

"  Yvonne,  I  want  you  to  be  my  wife,  I  love  you." 

I  laid  my  hand  timidly  on  his  arm  and  said,  "  I 
think  I  have  always  loved  you." 

He  put  his  arm  around  me,  and  I  rested  my 
head  upon  his  shoulder.  I  looked  up  at  him ;  he 
bent  over  me  and  kissed  me,  very  gently,  very 
tenderly,  with  reverence,  and  I  never  had  imagined 
a  feeling  of  such  happiness. 

I  was  so  weak,  I  hardly  felt  as  if  I  had  a  body 
at  all ;  only  a  spirit  to  think  of  him,  and  a  heart  to 
love  him. 


NEW  YORK  397 

The  daylight  had  gone;  the  fire  illumined  the 
room;  everything  was  hushed  and  quiet;  in  low 
words  we  spoke  to  each  other,  so  that  not  even  the 
walls  could  catch  the  sound  of  our  voices. 

Having  been  so  near  dying,  I  was  given  back  to 
this  new,  wonderful  joy  of  living,  and  thus  I  be- 
came affianced. 


XL 

DECEMBER  22cl.  I  am  rapidly  growing 
stronger.  I  sit  up  a  few  hours  every  day, 
and  each  of  the  people  I  like  best,  I  have  seen. 

Mischief  was  the  first,  for  Herbert  told  me  how 
changed  she  had  been  during  my  illness,  and  in 
truth  when  I  saw  her  come  in,  very  softly,  on  tip- 
toe, she  looked  not  like  the  wild  child  I  had  known 
at  Newport. 

She  held  my  hand,  and  pressed  it  against  her 
cheek,  and  in  a  low  voice  she  spoke : 

"  Oh,  Yvonne,  my  very  sweetest,  I  am  so  glad 
you  are  alive,  for  I  was  sure  you  were  going  to 
die.  I  stood  hours  outside  your  door,  waiting 
for  your  last  gasp,  as  people  do  in  books,  and  now 
instead  you  are  well,  and  you  are  going  to  marry 
Mr.  Dale.  He  is  fine!  And  I  will  come  and  live 
with  you,  and  play  with  your  little  children.  He 
told  me  I  was  the  first  to  whom  he  announced 
his  engagement.  Until  then  my  heart  was  in  little 
pieces,  I  was  so  unhappy,  but  now  we  shall  have  a 
jolly  life  together,  we  three." 

"  Dear  Mischief,"  I  said,  "  I  love  you  dearly, 
and  you  certainly  will  come  and  pay  us  long  visits." 

"  You  will  see  how  good  I  am  now,"  said  Mis- 
398 


NEW  YORK  399 

chief,  "  even  my  governess  says  I  have  improved. 
I  am  glad  I  have  got  you  to  love,  beside  horses 
and  dogs;  of  course  I  am  fond  of  Papa,  but  he  is 
too  busy  to  pay  attention  to  me,  and  Mamma  was 
too  old  when  I  was  born;  she  likes  better  grown 
up  daughters.  Nancy,  you  know  is  going  to  marry 
her  Marquis.  I  shall  marry  a  cowboy.  I  told  Mr. 
Dale  how  you  and  Evelyn  fought  over  his  picture, 
and  that  I  was  mad  that  you  let  her  have  it  after- 
wards. She  is  now  in  San  Francisco,  attending  a 
Charity  Congress.  Oh !  you  Sweetest,  I  am  so  glad 
to  have  you  here !  "  And  Mischief  chattered  on. 
I  am  a  little  disturbed  that  she  imagines  she  is  to 
live  with  us  always. 

Anna  Engel  wept  over  me  a  flood  of  tears,  and 
I  realized  how  much  I  had  worried  her  and  Herbert, 
and  even  those  whom  I  thought  liked  me  not,  by 
my  disappearance.  I  have  remorses  to  have  made 
any  one  so  anxious.  She  is  also  staying  here  in 
Uncle  John's  house.  She  visits  daily  Frau  Matrosi, 
who,  she  tells  me,  at  once  became  in  better  health 
when  Herbert  promised  to  send  her  back  to  Ger- 
many. Frau  Matrosi  and  Anna  travel  together  to 
Europe  next  month.  Herbert  went  to  see  Frau 
Matrosi,  and  said  that  he  owed  a  large  debt  of 
gratitude  to  any  one  who  had  been  kind  to  me ;  so 
his  present  to  Frau  Matrosi  is  to  her  a  fortune, 
which  enables  her  never  to  act  again,  but  to  live 
at  home  with  her  husband  and  her  little  boys. 


400  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

Mary  Snow  has  been  established,  as  was  her 
dream,  in  a  little  hat  shop,  of  which  she  is  mis- 
tress, and  is  doing  well  I  hear. 

Herbert  and  I  have  arranged  the  best  way  to 
assist  my  different  friends.  And  Oh!  it  is  the 
greatest  joy  in  the  world  to  make  people  happy. 
He  told  me  I  inherited  a  large  fortune  from  my 
grandmother,  and  I  can  have  money  to  spend  even 
before  I  am  twenty-one.  He  explained  to  me 
what  it  signified  that  Cousin  Henry  is  executor  of 
the  estate. 

To-day  when  I  sat  in  the  little  boudoir,  next  my 
room,  he  brought  in  Herr  Schimmel  to  see  me, 
saying  in  German,  "  Yvonne,  here  is  a  good  friend 
of  yours." 

I  was  so  glad  to  see  Herr  Schimmel.  I  held  out 
my  two  hands  to  him.  He  bent  over  and  kissed 
them  both,  and  his  face  was  full  of  emotion. 

"  Roschen,  Roschen,"  he  said,  "  Ach  ncinl  I  must 
call  you  now  gnadiges  Fraiilcin." 

"  No,"  I  said,  "  that  is  not  necessary." 

"  Soon,"  said  Herr  Schimmel,  "  you  will  be 
gnddige  Fran." 

"  Yes,"  I  answered,  "  and  you  and  all  the  Troupe 
are  coming  to  my  wedding.  It  will  be  here  in  the 
house,  with  only  my  best  friends  present." 

We  three  talked  together  some  time.  Herr 
Schimmel  told  Herbert  he  had  worried  much  to 
leave  me  in  New  York  to  earn  my  own  living, 


NEW  YORK  401 

but  he  knew  not  what  to  do  for  he  was  pledged  to 
Herr  Meyerbaum.  The  Troupe  had  suffered  many 
difficulties.  "  But  now,"  he  said  to  me,  "  owing 
to  your  Herr  Braiitigam's  generosity  and  patronage, 
the  different  members  have  found  well  paying  sit- 
uations; and  as  for  me,  Ach!  I  am  so  happy!  I 
am  first  flutist  in  a  little  orchestra,  with  a  regular 
salary;  that  was  always  my  dream." 

"  Dear  Herr  Schimmel,"  I  said,  "  the  experience 
I  have  made,  of  knowing  what  it  is  to  be  cold, 
and  not  well  fed,  without  money,  in  surroundings 
sombre  and  unpleasant,  has  taught  me  much,  and 
now  I  shall  be  able  to  make  life  more  commodious 
to  other  people." 

"Ach!  mein  teures  Kind,"  said  Herr  Schimmel, 
"  it  is  not  the  money  you  will  give  that  alone  will 
make  other  people's  lives  happier,  it  is  the  golden 
grace,  the  kindness  of  your  heart  which  accompanies 
and  beautifies  the  gift.  Believe  me,  mein  Herr" 
he  said  turning  to  Herbert,  "  each  one  of  us  poor 
comedians  felt  the  better  for  her  presence 
among  us;  and  our  respect  for  this  innocent  young 
girl  seemed  a  natural  tribute  from  our  better 
natures." 

"  Oh,"  I  said,  rendered  humble  by  all  this  praise, 
"  you  forget  how  thoughtless  and  childish  I  have 
been,  and  I  made  him  suffer."  I  held  out  my  hand 
to  Herbert,  who  smiled  at  me. 

As  is  the  custom  in  Germany,  for  the  bride  to 
26 


402  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

give  presents  to  her  friends,  I  have  sent  gifts  to 
all  the  Troupe  which  I  think  will  please  them. 

I  have  had  a  letter  from  Cousin  Henry,  who  is 
taking  a  cure  for  his  liver  in  Bohemia.  He  tried 
to  be  pleasant  and  express  joy  at  my  return  to, 
what  he  calls, —  my  natural  sphere, —  and  to  con- 
gratulate me  on  my  engagement  to  Herbert,  which 
was  cabled  to  him.  But  I  am  afraid  his  feelings 
are  still  affected  by  the  sufferings  of  his  liver,  and 
that  the  news  of  my  betrothal  made  him  swallow 
a  bitter  pill  of  disappointment. 

Herbert  asked  my  mother's  consent  to  propose 
to  me,  in  one  of  the  daily  cables  he  despatched  dur- 
ing my  illness.  I  thought  it  was  very  wily  of  him 
to  imitate  the  European  custom;  she  cabled  her 
assent,  and  here  is  a  letter  from  her  I  have  just  re- 
ceived. 

"  Dear  Yvonne, — 

"  After  the  months  of  cruel  anxiety  we  have 
endured  owing  to  your  unutterable  conduct,  it  is 
a  relief  to  know  that  someone  is  willing  to  un- 
dertake your  future  guidance.  I  am  informed  Mr. 
Dale  is  of  good  family,  that  he  has  fortune,  and 
is  still  in  robust  health;  this  is  fortunate,  for  my 
nerves  are  shattered  by  the  mortification  caused 
by  your  disgraceful  flight.  We  had  it  understood 
that  your  grandmother,  having  made  you  her 
heiress,  had  sent  for  you  to  America;  that  rinding 


NEW  YORK  403 

her    dead,    you    had    gone    into    retirement    during 
your  mourning.     I    first   thought   when   I   ignored 
where  you  were,  of  announcing  you  had  gone  to 
a  nervine  establishment,  as  many  ladies  go  there, 
dc  nos  jours,  instead  of  in  convents;  but  I  reflected 
it  might  produce  line  impression  jacheuse,  affect- 
ing   Wilmelmine's    prospects,     if    people    thought 
there  was  a  touch  of  insanity  in  the   family ;  al- 
though I  consider  you  were  quite  mad  to  behave 
as  you  did.     Your  marriage  dispels  our  inquietude 
for   your   unfortunate   proclivity,    as   your   Cousin 
Henry    Short    justly   calls    it,    for   awakening   the 
affections  of  undesirable  young  men.     Herr  Hase- 
mann  has  had  the  good  taste  to  vanish  to  a  Pas- 
torat    in    North    East    Prussia.     When    Mr.    Dale 
cabled  you  were   found,  and  that  you  were  ill,   I 
should  have  forced  myself  to  cross  the  ocean,  al- 
though  I   nearly   die    from   mal  de   mer,   but  the 
Emperor  was  expected  in  Paris,  and  I  had  to  be  at 
my  post.     I  have  announced  your  marriage  to  our 
friends;   I   confess   to   see  you  allied  to   a   simple 
American,   when  my  sister's  girls  are  married  to 
a  Duke  and  Marquis,  and  to  think  you  might  have 
been  a  Serene  Highness,  is  a  great^  chagrin,  espe- 
cially now  that  your  being  an  heiress  would  have 
equalized    your    situation   towards   the   Filrst,    and 
rendered      Wilhelmine's     avenir     infinitely     more 
brilliant.     It  is  my  duty  to  wish  you  all  joy,  and 
I  shall  welcome  you  and  try  to  forgive  you,  if  you 


404  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

and  Mr.   Dale  should  make  your  voyage  de  noce 
to  Paris,  as  American  frocks  are  impossible. 

"  Your  Affectionate 

"  MOTHER." 

I  shall  try  and  write  as  filial  an  answer  as  I  can. 

My  happy  hours  are  those  I  spend  alone  with 
Herbert.  It  is  wonderful  that  a  man  like  him 
should  love  me!  Oh!  how  I  look  forward  to  the 
moment  when  he  arrives  every  afternoon. 

I  sit  in  a  big  arm-chair  by  the  fire;  the  lights 
are  dim;  the  sweet  fragrance  of  flowers  fills  the 
room;  I  have  learnt  to  appreciate,  from  having 
missed  them  so  long,  these  delicious  things  that  make 
life  so  agreeable. 

I  said  to  Herbert  to-day,  that  I  must  not  let 
myself  forget  my  experiences  of  poverty;  for  now 
that  I  am  marrying  an  American,  of  which  I  am 
so  proud,  I  want  to  use  all  my  sentiments  of 
patriotism,  not  only  in  loving  my  country  but  in 
loving  all  its  inhabitants,  especially  the  poor  ones. 
Herbert  is  so  sympathetic,  and  says  he  will  help 
me  in  everything  I  wish  to  do. 

We  had  a  conversation  just  now  which  made 
clear  to  me  many  things  in  his  former  conduct 
I  understood  not.  He  sat  by  my  side,  and  I 
rested  my  head  on  his  shoulder.  I  asked  why  he 
had  discovered  he  loved  me  when  I  was  absent 
from  him. 


NEW  YORK  405 

"  When  I  found  you  were  gone  I  knew  that  not 
fear,  but  love  —  love  such  as  I  had  never  known 
was  what  I  felt.  From  the  first  moment  I  saw 
you  in  the  train  going  to  Newport  you  interested 
me.  When  you  came  to  Rilldale  in  the  summer, 
I  was  charmed  by  your  pretty  ways.  You  were 
so  innocent  and  untouched  by  the  world.  You 
showed  such  earnestness  in  your  enthusiastic  love 
for  your  country.  On  our  long  motor  drive  from 
Stockbridge  to  West  Point,  when  we  were  alone 
together,  again  I  was  drawn  and  fascinated  by  you 
but  I  reminded  myself  that  I  was  twice  your  age. 
And  when  Bobby  informed  me  that  you  were  en- 
gaged, I  tried  to  close  my  heart  against  you.  That 
is  why  I  seemed  brusque  and  repellant.  Oh,  my 
darling,  if  I  had  been  less  of  a  fool,  if  when  you 
came  to  me  on  that  stormy  night,  I  had  taken  you 
in  my  arms,  all  your  sorrows  and  all  my  anxiety 
would  have  been  spared  us." 

But  now  his  arms  are  my  natural  shelter;  thus 
when  we  are  silent,  as  also  when  we  converse,  the 
deeper  love  enters  more  and  more  into  our  hearts. 


RILLDALE 


XLI 

DECEMBER  3 1 st.  This  is  my  wedding  day! 
The  ceremony  of  marriage  I  cannot  well 
describe ;  I  look  back  upon  it  as  a  sort  of  bewilder- 
ing dream.  It  took  place  in  my  Uncle  John  King's 
house.  All  my  best  friends  were  there:  Bobby, 
Lily  Stuart  and  Tom,  Cousin  Hilliard  Carrington, 
Anna  Engel,  Frau  Matrosi,  Herr  Schimmel,  Mary 
Snow,  Herr  Meyerbaum  and  all  the  Troupe,  some 
friends  of  Herbert's,  Cousin  Carolina,  who  looked 
consternated  at  finding  herself  in  a  company 
so  mixed  —  I  was  not  very  regretful  that  Cousin 
Henry  was  in  Bohemia,  and  Evelyn  in  the  West. 

At  the  breakfast,  many  speeches  were  made  and 
toasts  were  drunk.  We  left  the  house  in  a  glow- 
ing atmosphere  of  good  wishes.  Just  as  we  were 
entering  the  carriage,  Mischief  appeared  dressed 
in  a  costume  for  travel;  she  intended  to  go  with 
us,  but  Cousin  Hilliard  said  he  had  made  up  a 
party  for  the  theatre  that  night;  she  would  spoil 
all  their  fun  if  she  did  not  go  with  them,  and  I 
would  be  willing  to  wait  and  have  her  come  later. 
After  some  demur  she  gave  me  what  she  calls  a 
"  fierce  hug,"  as  farewell. 

409 


410  AN  ARDENT  AMERICAN 

I  seemed  during  the  voyage  to  Stockbridge  to  be 
gliding  onward  into  the  joyful  realization  of  a 
vision.  Behind  me  I  was  leaving  all  disquietude, 
all  trouble  and  pain,  and  before  me  lay  a  radiant 
happiness. 

As  we  rose  in  the  hills,  snow  covered  the  ground 
like  a  bridal  veil  to  do  me  honor.  Thus  I  have 
seen  my  beloved  country  under  the  aspect  of  all 
the  seasons,  and  in  every  change  I  find  a  new 
delight;  it  is  in  truth  the  land  of  promise,  in  which 
it  is  my  good  fortune  now  to  dwell. 

We  drove  from  the  station  up  the  road,  where  I 
had  toiled  with  grief  and  fear  in  my  heart. 

For  the  third  time  I  entered  the  library  at  Rill- 
dale.  I  entered  hand  in  hand  with  Herbert.  Now 
it  is  my  home!  A  fire  burned  in  the  great  chim- 
ney; our  evening  repast  was  served  before  it. 

My  soul  is  filled  with  tender  thoughts.  If  my 
grandmother  could  but  see  me !  She  knew  well 
she  was  making  my  joy  secure  when  she  asked 
Herbert  to  be  my  friend. 

He  and  I  are  sitting  together  before  the  fire, 
there  is  but  half  a  page  left  in  my  diary.  He  tells 
me  I  shall  no  longer  want  to  inscribe  my  thoughts, 
and  so  these  last  words  are  a  farewell. 

As  I  flutter  the  pages,  the  names  of  many  people 
leap  before  me,  and  nearly  all  have  been  kind;  it 
may  be  my  fault  that  one  or  two  have  not  so  well 
liked  me.  In  this  half  year,  every  sort  of  expert 


RILLDALE  411 

ence  has  entered  my  life,  and  I  have  been  taught 
many  lessons. 

In  the  silence  of  the  house  slowly  the  clock 
strikes  twelve,  and  as  the  New  Year  opens,  I  close 
my  little  book. 


THE    END 


*L    b 
20  net 


A     000125212     1 


